Have you ever read one of those heartwarming or tearing stories about Derpy being a single mother? This is not one of those.
Written after seen "The cart before the ponies", this is meant to be a parody of the episode and all the stories where Derpy is Dinky's mother. Also I'm trying to early counterattack the stories where Derpy is a mother of this little pony in the cover.
I love Derpy mom, and parody is the biggest declaration of love. This story is meant to be full of meta-humor.
Chapters (1)
hahaha!!!
you wrecked the fanfics with logic. also, first
7653365 where in "Flutter Butter" does it show that Deep isn't Dinkys mom?
7781397 i dont remember. still, logic!!!!
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It doesn't, really. But there's a scene where Fluttershy says 'peeved' and a blonde mare covers Dinky ears.
The joke is, she's most likely Dinky's mom.
7782603 logic!!!!
7782603 could have been a babysitter
i say that blonde mare is the aunt of dinky and derpy is the mom
its a verry amazing story and the fact that it messes with fan ficton logic makes it 20% cooler
K. Let's take a look at this from top to bottom.
For sake of a comedy effect, I would shorten the first speech to... "How dare ya' try to actually teach them something!? What kind of a teacher are ya'". Also with Applejack, try to catch country ways of speaking.
Perhaps vary the next line with. Applejack stood and puffed her chest out toward Cheerilee, plus she felt she made a point. Come to think about it there might be a better action line than that.
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There, I think should be here. "Don't ya know that mumbo-jumbo is forbidden over here?"
Consider. Cheerilee shook and was too aghast to respond to the most respected citizen of Ponyville, so she tried to indulge her. Ignore the just it's unnecessary.
Consider. "It better be," rather than "Will better be."
Fourth wall breaking Pinkie is a nice taste for comedy and I enjoyed reading that.
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Add was here, though. The two mares stayed motionless for a couple of seconds until Pinkie Was reminded she had since a while.
Cart instead of chart here. It might be for comic references, but I'll highlight it. Brony pony number 1 was standing in front of Scootaloo and her Cart. The fan fiction logic is entertaining, but I suppose is not really my thing, so I'll stop critting here.
Overall impression in my opinion: Something I would only read once, sorry.
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7942050 Thanks for the hints. I really have to get more fondle with AJ's slang.
Also, don't worry. I mainly wrote this as a funny little break from my other works.
I hope my next comedy will be better.
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And as you explain that derpy has appeared with dinky twice once in the episode what pinkie pie knows and the other under the same cutie mark in that it appears in the background and very quickly for me I could that the theory is true or not but the little evidence that there is leaves it in doubt