Getting Away With Murder
Angel patiently watched the clock, counting down the seconds one at a time. It was currently fifty-five minutes past the hour, and in five minutes it would be lunch time.
Then his obedient pony would bring a bowl full of those delicious, delectable carrots, and he’d gorge himself. It was a small comfort he could find in his day to day life of dealing with his benign, but sometimes stupidly incompetent owner.
Angel’s ears perked as the telling chime of noon rang, and he let out an excited squeak as he hopped to the kitchen. Much to his delight, Fluttershy was already there, stirring a bowl of what he could only assume to be his lunch. He licked his lips and hopped over towards her.
Fluttershy broke away from her stirring to look down at him. “Oh, hello Angel Bunny! Ready for your lunch?”
Angel nodded his head rapidly and held out his paws. Instead of the cool, ceramic feeling of a bowl in his paws however, he cringed as a loud ‘boom’ echoed from the distance, and suddenly a blue blur shot through the door. Before Angel could protest or do anything to deal with the sudden interruption, the familiar intruder already had her hooves wrapped around Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy, we gotta go! I’ll explain on the way!” Rainbow shouted before hauling her back through the door, along with Angel’s food.
“But wait,” Fluttershy began as she was hurriedly pushed. “I still have to-” her voice faded as she flew off into the distance with her friend.
Angel stood there, mouth agape at the empty space she had just been in moments ago. He tried once, then twice to rub his eyes, hoping it was just a bad dream. When that failed, and the harsh reality came crashing down onto him like a dozen heads of lettuce, he grit his teeth.
After several angry stomps, he marched out of the kitchen and hopped over to one of the nightstands. He used the couch to get to the upper drawer, then rooted around inside until he pulled out a pencil and a notebook. If Rainbow Dash thought she could ruin his day so casually by taking what was most important to him, then he would repay the favor. He’d take what was most important to her: her life.
Angel Bunny scribbled a crude picture of Rainbow Dash onto the page in front of him, then he chewed on his pencil for a moment. Rainbow Dash was flying around in the sky an awful lot. In order for him to even be able to reach her, he’d need to take care of that. Perhaps the next time she stayed over, he’d clip her wings. He put red Xs over her wings, then a question mark next to it.
Now the question was, how to do it? Rainbow had a size advantage over him so he couldn’t exactly come at her head on, he’d be quickly defeated. No, it had to be done when she was unaware, in her sleep perhaps, maybe with a nail clipper? Yes, he’d seen Fluttershy use them to cut through the claws of a bear before, surely a pegasus wing would prove no issue!
He scribbled down a picture of a nail clipper next to the question mark. That took care of the flying issue, but how would he do the dirty deed? He considered having another animal do it for him, but no, he wanted this to be personal. He wanted to see the smugness leave her face as she realize she’d been bested by him, all her accomplishments and supposed claim of ‘fastest pony in Equestria’ meant nothing in the face of his might.
He could smother a pillow over her. The thought of feeling her dying struggles as he held the downy softness over her face with all his might filled him with glee. But alas, pillows were too heavy for him. As he looked and felt his own fur however, a thought occurred to him. What if he just used himself? Surely he could hold himself down hard enough to rob her of the oxygen she sorely needed, and she would know that it was he who finally won out against the ‘undefeated’ Rainbow Dash.
But then he wouldn’t be able to see her face. There had to be other ways, perhaps he could beat her over the head with a newspaper like Fluttershy did to him so often, until the words on the paper were imprinted all over her face. But would that kill her? It certainly hurt a lot when Fluttershy did it to him, maybe if he swung it hard and fast enough, he could knock her brain around and do some real damage.
Blunt force trauma worked well, but he almost wanted her to see it coming. Let her fear for life, unable to fly away as death came straight for her. He certainly knew how to scare some ponies, Fluttershy’s successful scare tactics on Nightmare Night could attest to that. Perhaps if he restrained her, forced to watch as he slowly approached her with a sponge in hoof.
Yes, that accursed thing. How it invaded his privacy every time Fluttershy wanted to give him one of those accursed ‘baths’. He would do the same to her, make her fear for her life as the vile cleanliness worked its way through her fur, her feathers, her very sou—
The sudden creaking of an open door caught his attention and he quickly hid the notepad and pencil behind his back as his arch nemesis approached him, holding a bowl by the rim in her mouth. She set it down on the couch in front of him before smiling sheepishly.
“Fluttershy told me to bring this back to you, so uh...yeah, sorry about that bud.” Another flash, and she was gone just as quickly as she appeared. Angel looked back and forth between the food before him and the notebook. After a moment, he shrugged and threw the notebook behind the couch, then dove headfirst into the bowl of carrots. Rainbow Dash could live, for another day at least.
Later that night, Fluttershy was cleaning her house. She moved the couch so she could get behind it, then spotted something.
“Oh, what’s this?” She picked it up and carefully opened it, her eyes widening as she scanned over the pages. “Awww, Angel drew a picture for Rainbow. How cute! I should show this to her!”
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It lives!
OH SHY.
7469235
It does!
7469237
Never did watch that cartoon.
7469238
SHE'S SO GOOD AT CARING FOR MURDEROUS BUNNIES
7469291
I wasn't sure whether or not to add a hyphen, thanks!
Saw this in group. Will check out later and let you know how it is
7469302 YEA
So an average day for Angel then?
Cute, funny little story. Now write a sequel: "Angel Bunny Murders Plot".
If Angel can hold a pencil, why not a knife? Knives aren't very original, but if you want to see their face and have them know its you then a knife is probably the way to go. I would suggest poison, which you cant get caught doing, but then Dash wouldn't realize her impending doom, which Angel pretty clearly wanted. Rainbow is off the hook for now, so it doesn't matter, but really Angel Bunny, you should know better than nail clippers.
7469461
This is exactly why it's not a serious dark fic.
This was a good start. I think it'd have been funny to see Angel try and actually go through with his half-baked plans.
This is why dog people exist.
It's not impossible to imagine because angel is pure evil.
Lol, good story!
Uh... ok. Not bad but that was something
This story deserves more comments!
Angel is obviously where they got the idea for the character of Snowball
Can't explain it, but I love this line. :D
You can has review!
11832226
Thank you for the review! I wrote this in a while ago just to force myself to get something out and I think the story reflects that. Glad you deemed it worth it, though!
I found this story through PaulAsaran's review. I immediately upvoted it due to the cover image. I have to say that Angel Bunny is perfectly in character, especially at the ending. Fun story. 5 out of 5 Spikestaches.
And a bunny, 'cause why not. 🐇
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