Pegasub
Joined 8th Aug, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Damaged · 13k words · 202 26 · 5.8k views
- TheAmazingMe · 10k words · 146 7 · 4.7k views
- The Elusive Badgerpony · 2.7k words · 15 2 · 513 views
- TheCamel · 4.5k words · 194 29 · 13k views
- Damaged · 30k words · 162 29 · 4k views
- SuperPinkBrony12 · 6.2k words · 33 26 · 1.3k views
- Troposphere · 52k words · 400 27 · 6.5k views
- Troposphere · 68k words · 203 21 · 3.2k views
Featured In16
Clopfics11,544 stories ·15,808 members
The Writers' Group56,370 stories ·9,290 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,141 members
My Little Fetish16,589 stories ·8,567 members
- BDSM621 stories ·797 members
Straight Shipping6,608 stories ·2,893 members
The Dungeon1,262 stories ·1,738 members
- Unsung Heroes: Characters Without Tags1,073 stories ·255 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.207 seconds
Total duration
1,033 users online
203,422 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hee hee, my upvote pushed you into 7 to 3, meaning I cast the crucial vote to make the ratio visible!
This exchange is seriously good both in terms of Quibble's display of emotional vulnerability -- it's obvious that he not merely finds Dashie attractive but also likes and respects her and wants her to like and respect him and is afraid that if he reveals he's into bondage she will think he's disgusting; also that Dashie does like and respect him, and aside from having enjoyed their brief experiment, is accepting of harmless eccentricity.
Which is totally in Dashie's character. One thing I like about this so far is that you've nailed both their characters perfectly, including the things about Rainbow Dash that make me love her. Under all the bluster and braggadocio, she's a very good Pony, kind and protective and caring toward others. And of course a Pony whose friends include Rarity, Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy has to accept eccentricity in her friends.
Dashie's being Oblivious to Love again, eh?
*snerk!*
Oooh, she really does like him ...
I enjoyed that quite a bit. It's a good example that clop doesn't have to be just mindless contrivances and mechanical motions.
It's really your first time writing such a thing? Good job!
Hilarious characterization -- and again, spot-on their personalities. I especially like "the stallion everypony really should know." You just know that Rarity constructs elaborate fantasies around them, too.
She really doesn't get that Quibble's falling in love with her, does she? Or is it just that she can't let herself feel that way because, deep down, she's afraid of getting hurt if he isn't. Dashie's a big softie under it all, which is pretty obvious in vanilla canon as well. She's not at all ruthless in matters of friendship -- and she wouldn't be in matters of love, either.
But she hates showing it.
... And that is so totally Rainbow Dash.
I may be too much of a romantic, but I think they're both kidding each other and themselves about that.
amazing! after a while i forgot i was reading a fanfic
cdn.meme.am/instances/56565367.jpg
7471321
That's a new one...
All abord Mr. Quibble's Wild n' Wacky Wet Tube-ride!
Have a giggle.
Cloudchaser might have something to say about that.
Sequel? I hope they end up getting together
Great work! I love how you write Quibble.
I haven't even gotten to the sex scene and you already get a fave and a thumbs up from me.
Seems pretty accurate tbh fam, this is what me and my friends generally spend our time doing between panels at Bronycon.
And thank you very much for scarring Ratatouille for me! My nieces and nephew make me watch that all the time, and now I'm going to be thinking of this whenever that scene rolls around!
So, any chance we get a sequel for this? Maybe him just showing up in Ponyville unannounced and giving Rainbow Dash a good time in her own home?
7471775
Addendum: The sex scene was also nice.
I was reading this, didn't know what I was getting into. Somehow while I was reading it my interactive Rainbow Dash on this page was cussing me out, which was hilarious.
7470111 Most clopfics are just like most sadfics on this site: No story, some bodily fluids, moaning, and done at under 3k words. Luckily this one isn't.
have a well deserved like. this was quallity work
What is an "IMPLIED" creampie?
7472558
All too true.
7472739
You don't get close-up camera angles, detailed descriptions, or a volume measurement of the semen.
Sold on the idea within the first chapter.
Noice.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Wow, you managed to write a good story using male/female sex that didn't get hammered by white knights and feminazis. Props to you just for that.
Your first clopfic? Hot damn, this is a great start! I'm always interested in really realistic, safely done BDSM fics; it's significantly hotter if they're doing it correctly. I'm not one of those people who thinks that breaking those rules is 'fun'; the rules make it better, that's the whole point. The moment when he puts her collar on was given its proper importance, thank you for that.
I particularly liked how well you wrote Rainbow as a sub, using her military background. I tend to think of her as a mare in charge: you know, with her cap and whistle on, directing the others. But it's true, taking orders also comes naturally to her. As does showing off. I don't suppose you'd consider writing a sequel?
Also:
YES. Thanks for saying this! I don't have a lot of experience with the female orgasm myself, but most of the erotica I've ever read seems to be by males who can't imagine an orgasm happening internally without any rushing fluids. I could never say for certain from experience, but I'll be reading these stories, get to the point of 'marecum', and thought 'Yeah, um ... I'm about ninety percent sure that's not how it works ..."
I liked it, thumbs up.
7473174 same
Hmm... so how much research did you actually do, and how in-depth was it? *snicker*
Seriously though, this was a good read with high quality. The ending was a bit of a downer, but at that point the story is over and you move on. If you feel like writing more about these two, go for it! I just feel like you've already "shot your load" as it were with them and a sequel would just be a repeat of the same. I'll just say that relationships have been based on far worse than this, and apart from the bondage being REALLY over-the top with somehow building a perfectly functioning suspension rig from nothing but a four-poster bed and a chain is really stretching it. That also raises the question of where he was keeping all that stuff, all the ropes, the silk, the clamps etc, because you were pretty specific that Quibble didn't bring any of that with him to the scene. Also the descriptions of the ties were well researched, but you might want to give more details or explanations on them, because now the general image I had of RD was "tied up with at least 20 different ropes and chains, hanging in midair, yet still being able to be turned around/twisted/moved at will". I do admit that when I tried to read about the tying-up part, my eyes kinda blurred over. Ooopsies.
For your first clop? Amazing job. Hope to read more from you in the future!
Unless of course this is just a secret alt account, in which case... 
Rainbowdash beat her in a contest of raw strength (hoofwrestling)
You know, I remember I once say a bondage clop called Taming the rainbow. At first reading the title I felt real confused but the description cleared that up. I'll read this once I see the episode.
Yeah, I have catching up to do. A LOT
Thanks for such a great reception! I appreciate it. A lot.
7470084 Fair enough. Probably a matter of taste, but see my response to 7473829 below.
7470111 Woooo! Yep, first clop.
7470275 Best kind of praise, IMO.
7471321 Gross, but sex nerds are a thing. At least, I think so. From Clarisse Thorn's BDSM and Culture:
7471442 Aren't they taking that ride out of Disneyland? I thought they were replacing it with Star Wars: The Fuck Awakens.
7471494 Y'know, I've never actually read most of that, but you'd have to be living under a rock not to know about it. Yeah, it was intentional.
7471545 I'm thinking about it. See my response to 7475569 below, though; this was intended as a one-shot.
I've seen one-shots grow into giant 100,000+ novels, which, please, no, but there would have to be more to say, if you know what I mean.
7471775 High praise!
7471803 See? This is dead accurate, and why no sequel or follow-up would make perfect sense. They wouldn't be the only ones to hook up at a con, have a hell of a lot of fun, and then go home with no regrets.
7471926
You know how sometimes you think, "wait, no, I can't do that," and then you realize that yes, that is exactly what you have to do? It was like that. I will have to buy my own brain bleach for that one, too. I love that movie.
7472436
7472647 Thank you thank you
7472739 See, that's what I was asking on one forum! I've never written any clop, and people always have these detailed lists of what's in the fic. It always seems a bit weird that they're listed as warnings, since in some cases, they're like advertisements. Fair enough, I guess, since one man's diaper fic is another man's squick. Anyway, someone told me that if someone comes inside, it's a creampie, and I figured "hey, he does, you just don't see it," so I listed it, just in case someone said, "HEY: you did not warn me that a colorful cartoon pony was going to come inside another colorful cartoon pony without protection!" Frankly, I think one of the nice things about writing fantasy is that you don't have to show every single precaution, although if I write the sequel I'm thinking about, I'll have to put in some of that stuff because if I don't, it'll be distracting.
7473174 YAY
7473823 ? I wasn't exactly expecting that. I was expecting a few downvotes of the "you broke my OTP/not my waifu" variety, and I'm guessing I probably got a few of those.
7473829 YES. ALL OF THIS. I AM considering a sequel. I guess you could argue that any of the Mane Six could be either. Most of the Rarity BDSM shows her as a domme, and that feels right. Some of my favorites are Rainbow Dash as a sub and Fluttershy as a domme (there is a Teen-rated one called "Power Exchange" that I like a LOT).
Also:
Yeah, that's a weird one, isn't it?--because a lot of articles about "squirting" are from experienced women saying, "fuck you, no, I do not piss the bed. This is different." Some women just naturally do it and some do it all the time, and for them, it's really helpful to say "no, it's ok, you didn't pee on your partner," because they didn't. For the rest, once they hear about it, there's like...instructions and um, specialized equipment, but it's not necessary to have a good time. I just checked some erotica written by some pretty good (published) writers, one of whom is a friend, and they almost never show gigantic rushes of liquid.
I totally get thinking, "well, uh...if there's nothing coming out, then what exactly IS going on, and why is it fun?", but hey: I've written M/M erotica, and there are websites with advice by gay men for women writing slash pointing out stuff like, "yeah, uh-uh, our bodies don't work like that." Thing is, though, and who knows, this might be worthy of a (clean-ish) blog post, FiMFiction is an outlier. Fanfiction in general, out in the wild, is dominated by female writers writing about two men. Femmeslash is kinda rare, and a lot of readers will express actual eeeew about it. So I think this is one of the few fanfiction sites where you have lots of male writers and readers interested in what two female characters might enjoy doing.
(Horses are different, but I've got limits on how horsy I want my pony porn to be).
7475569
Um...no comment? Uh...like Quibble, I have lots of books. BOOKS. Yes. Although seriously, I do, and two of them appear in pony-ized form in Chapter Two.
Yeah, I see what you mean about having "shot my load" (snerk). Best I can say is that sometimes hookups turn into multiple hookups that turn into a Thing, and that there would be no point unless there was something else I wanted to say or do with these guys. And maybe there is. I'm giving it some thought ATM.
And here I thought the real question was going to be "why did Dash bring such an extensive choice from her own collection to a three-day convention?" It's a good thing Quibble made her wash those, because I guarantee her suitcase would be filled with those "sorry, this was inspected by the TSA, nothing personal" notices. Because nothing says "threatening to national security" like medical-grade silicone, I guess.
He didn't bring stuff along with him to the convention, because he didn't expect anything, but he did stop by the hardware store and pick up a bunch of pervertibles.
Brought along for cosplay purposes and partly because it's a thrill to show off your gear when no one knows that's what it is: crop, whip.
Bought in the vendor room: Set of matching wristlets and collar. Heck, he could probably have picked up the rope there, too, considering that there's BDSM rope you can get in Harry Potter house colors.
Pervertibles from hardware store: D-rings, chain with snap closure attached (don't know what they're called, but the things that leashes attach with), "nasty little clamps," although binder clips would do fine.
Stuff he raided from the hotel suite: sheets and a lot of towels. The hotel manager is going to have a fucking FIT.
What Dash is in is kind of an improvised sex sling made of the hotel sheets keeping her prone and holding her at the chest and the hips. Actually, it's not all that unlike the things they used to use to get horses off ships, come to think of it, although I didn't put that together until just now. Blame a childhood spent reading Misty of Chincoteague and similar such shit.
(THIS IMAGE IS TOTALLY SAFE FOR WORK AND GOES TO A HISTORICAL ARTICLE ON THE BBC SITE, IF ANYONE IS WONDERING).
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/02/2e/e6/022ee6dd9b59b81fb228468af4b120ef.jpg
Quibble had to make room for the wings, of course.
She--or her head and torso--can be pulled at roughly a 30-45 degree angle if Quibble goes right up to her head and pulls her. She can also sway back and forth a little bit. The crotch rope is something else I wondered about and had to look up.
The sling takes the weight, because of course even a bendy cartoon horse is going to have problems if all of her weight is being supported by her wrists and ankles, or maybe I just find that distracting because I have a wrist with chronic tendinitis, so if I were reading this, I'd be distracted and thinking "ow ow ow." The ropes keep her limbs more or less immobilized, and also provide that compression that bondage fiends so enjoy.
The really big stretch is how he would attach the sheets to the bare canopy in such a way that Dash's Magical Horse Weight didn't snap the frame and in a way that was secure. He'd probably have to get.. I dunno.. a tarp with grommets already put in it, and then you'd still have the weight problem.
So I kinda hand-waved that, figuring that too much info would be boring. If there's a sequel, they maybe can have access to bondage boots and stuff.
Well, if this WERE a secret alt account, I would hardly say, "oh, hah hah, you got me! I'm really NummyCandyPrincess45 writing filthy horse pr0n on the side!" Because then it wouldn't be a secret, right? And a goodytwoshoes like NummyCandyPrincess45 wouldn't use an alt for any reason that wasn't kosher with the management, and probably would have checked with someone before making one. Not that this is the case, of course, but I'm just saying.
I guarantee that it is 100% my first clopfic and also the only erotica involving girlbits that I have ever written, human or horse.
7475636 Ouch, yeah, a mistake. Can't fix it without changing an emotional detail I want to leave in, but duly noted.
7475636 - Rainbow also caught the roof of Ponyville town hall as it was falling, on one hoof, and brought it to the ground. That takes some serious strength to accomplish. Then again...cartoon physics.
Maybe she just simply doesn't weigh that much? They are little ponies, after all. And while RD's resilience doesn't make it likely that pegasi have hollow bones like birds do, maybe they're just lighter than ponies of other tribes for other reasons. (A skeleton made of airplane-grade aluminum, perhaps. Who knows?)
7475636
I KNOW! I hated that part, it was so confusing! AJ must've been having a REALLY off day if she couldn't win a hoof wrestle. I bet 19 of 20 times, AJ would've won that.
Great use of marshmallows!
Hmm. Interesting first clopfic. I've been intrigued.
Also somewhat debating with myself about whether or not you should write a sequel, on one hoof---
Okay, I have spent too much of the past thirteen hours rewatching the entire MLP series. I need a life.
Anywhen, on one hand, I think a sequel would be a nice closer, and probably satisfy me a bit more (unlike Rainbow, who's completely satisfied
). But on the other hand I think it might become a little redundant, just another clopfic where Rainbow's getting ordered around by Quibble. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. It might just be hard to read it AGAIN.
If you did make a sequel, I might suggest that ever since Rainbow and Quibble noticed they had feelings for each other, they decided to go on a first date? Possibly this story could spend more time out of the bed than in it, just for the sake of being redundant. Not saying, of course, that there CAN'T be a bed involved...
Anywhy, great first clopfic and would love to see more work soon.
7476507
Sequel obviously needs to be about Quibble going too far and actually knocking her up, at which point they have to consider a long-term relationship, tell all the friends and actually start dating. And while Dash is still compact enough, lots of hate and peril sex ensue... Personally I would like to see some fetishy stuff in there, like wing plucking, hoof fetish, cutie mark spanking/removal/altering and so on, but that's just me :P
7476074
AJ is a farm pony who bucks apples
Rainbowdash is an athlete, training every day to get into the professional sport flying aspect of her nations military. keeping your hooves straight during enormous air pressure is more difficult than bucking a tree, especially since applejack wants her trees to live and has no reason to kick them harder than she has to. finally, the show makes no apology for this ever. Rainbowdash has not only beat her in an arm wrestling competition, but rainbow is actually requested by applejack to take down a barn, something AJ probably has more personal experiance doing, but figures someone as strong as RD could do it for her better.
Once upon a time, this story would have been added to the Twilight's Library group, and I'd have left a ribbon here. Alas, it's long been closed. You may want to ask scoots2 about it, and how difficult getting clop in there was.
I'm going to concur with 7470111 that it was well written and enjoyable, though.
--arcum42
7479454 It's true. I submitted a few stories there back in the day, and there was a list of stuff that it was recommended not to submit, because they were so unlikely to be approved. Clop was one, and human was another. I remember submitting an EG fic, long before Rainbow Rocks and the Equestria Girls tag, and really biting my nails because it was "human." Getting it accepted was a big honor. I'll make sure Pegasub knows.
Always a fan of consensual bondage and I really love how IC Quibble is.
7479703
To be fair, I always thought the "don't submit clop because it'll be rejected" was overrated.
A big part of it was that I felt that any clop submitted needed to be a story first, clop second. So it needed characterization, motivation, and plot. Two characters shouldn't just randomly appear in a room and have sex. The sex scenes should come naturally from the setup, it should be in character, and the sex scenes should be anatomically possible. And things should be well written, obviously.
I don't actually feel this is too unreasonable, but a lot of clop doesn't meet those standards. You'll note that Skeeter was sold on this story by the first chapter, which was before any sex scenes, which is really the sort of thing I'd be looking at.
I also didn't allow foal x adult clop and rape, unless it was treated as a serious subject with consequences. That was the majority of the standard for mature rated stories, though.
This story actually has me remembering another story I approved for Twilight's Library a long time ago. It was called "Rainbow Dash Discovers Erotic Mind Control", by Wise Cracker. I'm sure I'm thinking of it because of having Daring Do and conventions in it, but I still should reread it some time...
--arcum42
Just as I was talking about the shortage of consensual BDSM on this site, mana from heaven!
7483825 Ah, that explains a lot! Maybe my idea for a sequel will be a good one after all.
Seriously, there isn't? I've seen a bunch in the groups.
7483911 It's rare to see any that do a decent portrayal of safe, sane and consensual kink. I've seen a few good ones that come close, including Loyal's Moonstone and the Toymaker's Marefriend by Troposphere. I was so keen for more that I ended up writing my own. (In fact, I found your fic on the 'Also Liked' tab for said story
)
Now, your story has gone the full nine yards with everything on my wishlist. I absolutely loved the detailed planning Quibble went into, discussion of safe words and limits, etc. And I felt your description of Rainbow's feelings and emotions during the scene was a wonderful portrayal of that sublime subbie experience.
10/10, would recommend.
EDIT: Sequel? Yes, please! *Squee*
Great story~ Already read the blog about the possible sequel. I'm certainly looking forward to seeing where they go from here. Especially when it comes to their dynamic, and the creative bondage~ Will they be Master and pet? Will their M/s relationship stay in the bedroom? Will we get even more fun bondage for winged ponies? Only time will tell eh~?
7476834
Some of that seemed like way to much for the caring sort of relationship they seem to have going on, and three of them specifically were just awful things overall. Cutie Mark altering or removal are horrifyingly wrong for any pony, I have not once seen such a thing that I liked, spanking should be fine though. And wing plucking would be pretty bad for anypony, but would just be insanely cruel to a pony like Rainbow. Who loves flying more than anything.
7489186
Pff softie. Was it really necessary to use the red button though? :P
Anyway, believe it or not but I do understand what is and isn't appropriate. By altering or removal of cutie mark I didn't mean the bloody permanent kind, merely painting it over or masking it in some way. And pegasi molt and shed feathers regularly, no one says to remove all of them, nor that the feathers in question should be primaries... In fact getting just a few of them should give enough thrill while the feathers themselves can later be used to tickle her hooves and soft belly.
As for the relationship, they both agreed that this was a one-time thing and that it wouldn't really work out, which is true... So the only way I see these two hooking up is if Dash was stupid during the little play of theirs and ended up pregnant. Note that I am not into fat, hyper or pregnant mares, so I am speaking merely from the logical standpoint here.
Hope this clears out some confusion and gathering hate :)
7489216
I admit, I had thought you meant like burning or cutting away the cutie mark. Just painting over it wouldn't be too bad I guess. Though I still see little reason for it in most cases. And with the plucking, again, I was thinking worse than you were meaning. And I even knew that feathers could grow back, but still, even hampering her ability to fly for days or weeks or however long it'd take for feathers to grow back would be pretty mean. Though, overall there was at least one thing from your original comment I rather liked, pregnancy and angry sex, I don't think you used the word "Angry" but eh, thats the basic point. Hoof fetish would also be fine. Haven't really got one myself, but it would be terribly cute of Dash to admit that maybe her hooves are a lil' sensitive and thats why she doesn't like ponies touching them. And, there are some things that I'm just neutral about, but when the characters get really into it I enjoy anyway, Hooves/feet are one of them.
P.S. I don't really mind being called a softy, I like romance, and I've seen some stuff that went too far for my tastes that I don't care to see again. And, I think it was hinted that Dash wanted it to be more than a onetime thing. Or was that just in the author's blog about a possible sequel?
P.P.S Yeah, I guess I jumped the gun on the down vote button. Sort of a knee-jerk reaction to what I thought you were meaning.
7489166
7489186
7489216 Well, I do have some ideas... but I won't ruin it for anyone. I will say that the one place I've read about cutie mark removal or mutilation, etc., was in the canon(ish) Daring Do and the Masked Thief of Marapore, and it was described as such a hideously disabling thing that I don't think I could get it out of my head. I'm not going to kink-shame here--hardly the place!--but I hope what I have planned will be something both of you might enjoy.
I'm not sure where the "pinion" idea came from. I know that real pinioning involves amputation, and I'm not going there. That's grimdark territory. I just sort of liked the idea that attaching something like a nipple clamp to the end of a Pegasus wing might "disable" them for flight--and like a nipple clamp, is something a person could slam together with a quick visit to the hardware store and a bit of initiative.
7489336
That bit with the clamps on her wings was one of my favorite parts. Restraining her flight enough that she couldn't mess up the rest of the bondage without actually tying her wings down was pretty neat. Though my favorite part had to be either the suspension bondage itself, or the silk around her marehood to spread her out and a knot right over her clit for extra teasing~
7489425
Agreed, that was quite hot, especially the way he put them on with his mouth! Mine were the way Quibble inspected, massaged and complimented her wings... I have a soft spot for wings and wish they were used more during sex and other parts. I am not going to claim I know how erogenous zones work for pegasi, but I bet wings gotta be pretty darn sensitive with how fragile they are. I admit that I also like to see them toyed with and slightly damaged as well. Non-permanent cutie mark manipulations are more to humiliate a pony... Although they would be more in place if this was a pet play fanfic. There you'd wanna mask the cutie mark on the pet as they are not a pony anymore or replace/alter it with that of the owner in case the pet gets lost and others don't know to whom it belongs :P
I also liked the parts with Dash's inner monologue... Especially the one with her thinking of just what she was about to do right before Quibble arrived and the one where she was so slutty that she almost skipped the preparation parts in order to get more pain and temporary markings on her body to show off what exactly this stallion has done to her. In my mind Dash is definitely a sub, but she is also quite kinky and a bit of a pain whore... So I can say I felt a bit disappointed when the thing with "come on" or the pain bit never happened in the story (actually, IMO there wasn't enough sex to begin with)... Kinky sex is the best sex, so I hope the sequel will go more in-depth into these aspects as well.
7490788
I've done a lot of pet play rping(Heck just look at my profile pic~) but no Master or Mistress of mine has ever brought up cutie mark alteration. Maybe I should bring it up with one of them, see how it plays out. Maybe combine it with the public walkies I so like~ Damn, now that I started thinking about it, you've got me interested. Granted, I am usually more of a "good pet" and humiliation is a punishment. . .