Twilight Addiction

PrinceofBrony

PrinceofBrony #1 · Aug 8th, 2016 · 1 · ·

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I've seen your work on AO3 before. Loved it there, love it here. Glad to see you with FiMfiction!

dracedomino

dracedomino #2 · Aug 9th, 2016 · 1 · ·

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7464582 Thanks! Glad to be here. :) I'll be slowly updating my EG stuff here over the next few days.

Tenka

Tenka #3 · Aug 9th, 2016 · · ·

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I read your other storys hope to see more from you DOOD.

Like a sequel to this one.

dracedomino

dracedomino #4 · Aug 9th, 2016 · 1 · ·

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7464692 I don't have a sequel planned for this one (it was a prize for the winner of my Christmas contest on tumblr,) but I do have a lot more futa EG coming!

Purple-Smart Heart

Purple-Smart Heart #5 · Aug 9th, 2016 · 4 · ·

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First, two things, one kinda big and the other a nitpick.

First, it seemed a tad short. You introduced this idea of Sunset cheating on SciTwi, SciTwi finds out, makes a deal with PonyTwi, she hides in a closet, PonyTwi and Sunny fuck, then they all fuck, and all of this happens or is told in about 5 minutes. There's really no time for the idea to develop, and because of that the message of SciTwi still loving Sunset unconditionally is cheapened. It kind of makes her seem like a mewling spineless ninny who will do whatever anyone wants if she'll get love and attention.

Just a little development of the story's ideas and one iota of conflict and I think it wouldn't have been nearly so jarring. Then again, I know some people like that kind of thing, so it's hard to tell if you may have done it on purpose, since it's a clop-fic.

As for the nitpick, you use the words "nectar" and "cream" a lot. There are loads of great words and euphemisms for cum (cum being a perfectly fine word itself), could probably use a few of them.

That aaaall being said, I really enjoyed it.

Kinda had to get warmed up to your prose, but once I did, I was definitely into it. It's an interesting style, kinda flowery, but still on point.

The sex was great, and a happy ending (in more ways than one) is always welcome at the end of an NTR story, as far as I'm concerned.

Definitely a nice addition to the SunLight clop-fic collective.

dracedomino

dracedomino #6 · Aug 9th, 2016 · 4 · ·

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7465131 Thanks for the feedback! :) The rushed pace is sort of a side effect of the size limitations. I did this as a giveaway on my tumblr, winner got a 5k word story. The early bits are a little rushed simply to focus more on the "fun bits," as it were, since with two Twilights and one Sunset there's a lot of fun to be crammed into nine pages. It's definitely something that you can attribute to being a clopfic.

I'll freely admit to often reusing words, too. One of my weaknesses as a writer. It's something I try to be conscious of, to at least make it not too obvious, but it's something I need to progressively work towards improving on.

At any rate I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'll be putting up more of my library of EG erotica soon. My primary one is focused around a Futa Principal Celestia that builds herself a little harem from her students. Since it's an ongoing multi-chapter affair it might not feel quite so rushed, and might be more to your liking.

ChaosOverlord65