The End
And so, Twilight completed her race around the world, having lost a servant but won the wager, and perhaps gained wisdom for the bargain. She came to an understanding with Queen Chrysalis, and though Celestia did not approve, Twilight came to an understanding with her as well. She was a princess in her own right, and she would do what she saw fit.
Twilight and Spike returned to Ponyville, and there spent much time with their friends. Twilight had many things of which to unburden herself, but her friends were always there for her, and in time her pain was soothed. Spike’s troubles were harder to express, but with Luna’s help, his nightmares stopped, and when he shut his eyes, he no longer heard the hiss of steam and the clang of ejecting rounds.
Drop by drop, harmony flowed back into their lives. The news from abroad was terrible, but not all ponies read the foreign papers, and it was easy to pretend none of it existed. Twilight and Spike both kept informed and active in such affairs, but when they needed to, there were days they could walk into Ponyville and leave all of it behind.
Eventually, after his application was processed and he completed his entrance exams, the day came for Spike to be apprenticed as an Artificer in the Canterlot Guild house. He’d asked to take the trip alone and for no fanfare to be given, and the others respected his wishes. And so it was that he came to see Twilight in her study one last time.
He was getting taller, she noticed. Soon he’d be a drake in his own right. His little traveling bag was tossed over his shoulder. Around his throat was the black band of a Guild apprentice, to which a pendant would one day be attached. They hugged, and she told him she loved him. He talked about his schedule and when he’d be free, and she promised to visit him soon.
He was just turning to go to the train station when his eyes flicked over to her desk, and the numerous charts and papers there. “What are you working on?”
“The new solar calendar!” she replied brightly. “The one without leap years.”
“You’re actually making Celestia do that? I thought it was just a friendly bet.”
“No way, Spike. Leap years are awful. The world will be better off without them. Just think of all the damage they’ve done!”
Spike let out a little snort. His claws rested over the strap of his bag. “How do you figure?”
“If it weren’t for leap years,” Twilight explained, “we’d have left a day earlier. That meant we’d have left Griffonstone the day before the Black Hooves tore up the tracks instead of the day after. That meant we’d have arrived in Vineigha on time without you having to go through the Pegasus Express. That means Prince Chain Link and I would have had our schedule moved up a day, so he’d have missed the tour of the countryside we were tagging along for. No assassination, no orlov rebellion, no spark for the conflict. No war tearing the planet apart.”
Twilight glanced at her charts. “Really,” she said, “when you think about it, leap years destroyed the world.”
Spike let out half a laugh. He struggled for words.
Finally, he managed a weak smile. “Yes, Twilight,” he said. “Never change.”
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7761565
Of course you would say that.
You probably also do drugs and stay up late and play violent video games, you deviant.
7761634
Oh my goodness I wish I'd done that.
7761693
A non-trival fraction of the chapter's total length!
And, as for hating the Water Palace, it was mentioned that: "-the Water Palace has wanted to conquer the rest of Kiria for years-". The Water Palace is a mash up of Imperial Japan and Imperial Britain, and so the first conflict with Kiria was a reference to the Opium Wars and the Chinese Century of Humiliation.
So, yes. Kiria just got out of a very ugly war with the Water Palace that they didn't win.
...Brilliant. :)
7761725
Yeah, I wasn't all that good at keeping the comments down this time. Schedule indeed appears to be paying for it a bit, but... eh. Very enjoyable reading. :)
Ahh, thanks! That makes sense.
7761808
"One of my editors commented on this chapter:
"Somehow, this story went from jokes about prime numbers to genocide. And I'm okay with that. And I am not okay with that.""
It is a very neat thing the story does, yes.
7761825
In my world, djinn is its own plural and own identifier! Like "fey."
I did, briefly, consider ending the story after Kleo. Have, "It was over," be the last line, boom, end.
This is better.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/7b/15/a7/7b15a78ecec5920258696a58cb339523.jpg
Yup! And yes, the humor is back! We're back in Equestria after all.
7761842
Man, I am so glad you liked it. It's been a blast watching you read your way through this thing start to finish.
Sweet to see the story complete!
Going into the final chapters, I wasn't sure what I was going to think about this in the end. I knew the story was good, but the ending made the difference between adding this to my Favourites shelf or not; in the end I did.
7761866
"In my world, djinn is its own plural and own identifier! Like "fey.""
Ah, thanks.
"I did, briefly, consider ending the story after Kleo. Have, "It was over," be the last line, boom, end.
This is better."
Agreed!
"s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/7b/15/a7/7b15a78ecec5920258696a58cb339523.jpg "
:)
"Yup! And yes, the humor is back! We're back in Equestria after all."
Thanks. And aye, as remarked upon, how different it is from the rest of the world.
"Man, I am so glad you liked it. It's been a blast watching you read your way through this thing start to finish."
Heh, thanks. A blast watching? I wasn't expecting it'd be that good. :)
7762484
As I've reminded him, djinni is singular, djinn is plural
7762677
Aye, that came up in an earlier reply, but thanks. :)
ahh, it's come full circle....
the last few chapters have felt like the whole weight of the world has been dragging them down. this was an excellent moment to end on. surprising and funny, but a welcome relief from the heavy atmosphere.
what an amazing trip. thanks for writing it!
I liked this story, but there's one big problem: everything to do with leap years. The premise and the first chapter(s?) make it seem like it's going to be a light hearted adventure comedy, and while I'll admit that it's partially my fault for not going back and checking the tags, it still doesn't sit well with the rest of the story. Mainly because the bet as such involved a hyper exaggeration of Twilight in that sh actually believed bending book corners was a suitable counter for changing the solar year.
Then, at the end, she somehow believes that if leap years hadn't been a thing, none of this would have happened? First, that's not how time works: had there never been leap years but still a reason for her to go on the trip, everything would have turned out exactly the same except on a different date. Second, her attitude seems to show that she learned literally nothing from her trip! "You can't save everyone personally" indeed.
I enjoyed the rest of the story, and feel that if you'd gone with some other premise (learning more about the world, diplomatic relations trip, etc.) the story would have been that much greater for it.
7765102
That is, in fact, the intention. The story is a Greek Tragedy (hence the title). Twilight is such a virtuous person, and so determined to see good in others, that she cannot admit to herself that the war happened because people wanted it to happen. She must pin the blame on some external factor.
Hence Spike's weak smile at the end and uttered: "Never change."
7765111 I somewhat suspected as such, but the beginning of the story still seems off in tone for the other mentioned reasons. Mainly the book corners thing: it just feels like an exaggeration of a trait that then disappears and isn't relevant. I suppose the intention is to show just how ridiculously naive she(and by extension, most equestrians) is?
This was an awesome ride.
Thank you.
Strange. They've completed their journey around the world, but, it doesn't feel like they're back where they started.
Bravo, Jaxie! How did this get around the world in only 87 upvotes?
7768388
Eeeeeeee.
I am glad you enjoyed! It was a pretty experimental piece for me, but I am very happy with the outcome.
Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.
What a fantastic story. I'm guessing Twilight and Chrysalis were able to end the war eventually, though I doubt they could prevent it from happening in time.
Spike joining the guild was awesome, and I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner.
I really love the lesson in this story, making a real change in the world always requires sacrifice, and it's not always going to be what you expected.
7769120
Yay! Thank you. It's a theme I try to work into a lot of my stories, but it's what this story was all about.
7770066
I spent so freaking long working on that.
I really wanted it to stand as a mini-story in its own right.
7770629
That's some high-potency horse drama right there.
7774453
WOO-HOO!
I eagerly await the results.
7775305
No no. Tell me how you really feel.
I will totally accept an unprecedented second entry. Possibly while wearing a fake moustache and some kind of period WW1 costume if that helps.
7775314
Totally intended to be the accusation. The Water Palace offered the First Citizen terms to betray his friends. Twilight entirely suspects that, once they don't need him any more, he'll be Rewarded As A Traitor Deserves.
7775374
Long-standing FIMFiction bug.
By the way, I'm not getting notifications for any of these comments. You might want to get into the habit of clicking through to the chapter that the source comment is in, and responding to it while you're within the same chapter. If you just respond from the main story page, it'll put your reply at the end of the LAST chapter, and for some reason the site doesn't trigger notifications if the response is in a different chapter.
I keep going back to Day 71, and its italicized lists, and Day 80, and the bittersweet victory of the terrible bargain. I wish I had more of a coherent response to the way this wrapped up, but even as this kept swerving further and further off the rails it just kept becoming more and more apparent that it went to exactly the place the story needed to go.
That prereader quote is gold and I am going to steal it for my blog plug.
And here's the ending. Beautiful, brilliant, bittersweet.
Yep, this was good, well done
7777846
Somewhere, there's a cheerful fan of whimsical steampunk stories crying. "It's supposed to be like 80 Days! But this isn't 80 Days. This isn't 80 Days at all."
Well maybe if you end up lost in Africa.
7777937
Man, I am so glad you enjoyed this. These comments totally made my day.
This story was amazing.
I too share your dismay at the low upvote count, and I suspect it has something to do with the "Crossover" tag. I myself tend to avoid crossover stories, as far too many of them rely entirely on the source for worldbuilding and end up being merely vehicles for references and inside jokes, and I'm way out of the loop when it comes to movies, video games, popular fiction, and the like.
I'll admit I haven't played the game(1) and my memory of the novel it is based on is fuzzy at best, but to me this doesn't read like a typical crossover at all - this is worldbuilding at its finest. If anything it is a crossover with world history, and an incredibly powerful one at that.
Anyway, well done!
(1) Yes, I've been told I should. Somehow I really don't think IT would be cool with me installing it...
Fabulous story.
Loved all the world building, the details all the odd random and little details.
Countless little stories with so much potential to be there own great stories.
Amazing work.
A lot is left unsaid in this story, almost always to its benefit, but it does definitely make it vastly harder to read. I would go through it again, but I don't want to wreck the magic...and also it was completely gutwrenching and I don't hate myself.
All in all, an absolutely fantastic contribution to the history of adventure fiction and of the political thriller...though certainly a strange one.
God, there was just so much here to love. I guess I have to go live my life now, somehow.
So frightening to me that I almost didn't read this. So glad I did.
Only 124 likes and 299 views for one of the best stories on the site. I took far longer than i should have to read this
7890086
Eeeeee!
I'm glad you enjoyed!
7896311
Eeee!
You eventually remembered me!
It's the best praise an author could eventually accept.
7896321
I know, right? I'm a menace to the canon.
7896353
No this is going to go great.
I really hate you. XD
7896654
Any chance I'll get your summary of thoughts soon? :D
7897760
You get profanity-laden bullet points. :V
Nah, I'll have the reviews out Saturday at the latest.
Wow.. I was not a fan... at all.
There is a lot of good stuff, and a lot of potential but overall... this story was a mess. Just enough to show some quality, just enough to make me want to see where things are going.. if maybe they get better but... nope.
This whole thing was just... not good, it was more a story creates to try and drive in a message, rather then a story with a message, because the 'story' was so swiss cheesed and lacking in any transitions, just random snippets, which can work in some cases, but not this one, given just how much trial and hardship and how many deep, life changing things are going on. But.. so much of it was told, not shown. It feels like every chapter is just another author avatar showing up to lecture Spike on something, often things that just don't make sense or don't have any link between them. This whole blatant world war I set up is just WAY to forced, yeah Equestria is just going to stand aside and watch as millions die.... yup. Things would be allowed to get to this level... and there isn't even any resolution to it, just "Oh she made nice with Chryssi and everything was perfect. Or something. It's trying WAY to hard to be allegory. And simply.. was not made to fit well into the context of the shows world.
And the whole Djinn thing just made no damn sense at all. She's the Guild.. that just showed up for this story..... how does that make any sense? And wanting Spike for hers... what? This whole deal there was just... it was foreshadowed yes, but still not in a way that makes sense at all in the context of this story, or Equestria.
Spike's whole character made no sense, he was all over the place, and while I could get you were trying to show how this trip changed him, it did a poor job because the majority of it was just Spike being Author Fillibustered at by mouthpieces, and then on to the next snippet. No really showing things play out, no exploring things, just being told and..... that is the worst part, there is a lot of good idea here, but the whole thing is just so forced and contrived, and full of pages long author fillibuster lectures to get points across that... just don't make any sense.. what what even the point? The story was trying SO SO damn hard to scream it's about something, to hammer over and over and over that "This is imporatnat" this is powerful, just hammer in it's trying to say something... but never actually makes that clear becuase it's to busy just trying to be clever or trying to fit in one more author tract.
And Twilight... sweet Fuast was she overly naive and just.. just... Equestrian citizens are being SLAUGHTERED IN THE STREET and she just moves on? Yeah, no.
Again, this story just... so much good to it and yet.. sorry but, it simply tries to hard to be 'about' something, it forgets to be a good story, and is just.. a confused framework that seems just an excuse to make longwinded and often confusing or pointless speeches about things that.. have nothing to do with anything.
There's a lot more I'd like to say, these are just the first thoughts I really need to get out of my head.
8006223
Boy, the fallout from that war might last for awhile!
So I just thought I'd mention that you're now officially a Hugo-nominated novelist. Namely, I just listed you on my Hugo Awards nominations ballot for Best Novel.
This has approximately 0.00000000% chance of getting you on the shortlist that actually leads to an award, but I make a point to try and include something from my ponyfic reading in my ballot each year, and this story was legitimately one of the most powerful pieces of writing I've had the pleasure to read in quite some time. So thank you!
8031213
RESUME BUILDER.
Thank you, man. This really makes me so happy to hear. That story worked out better than I could possibly have hoped for.
Your little contest inspired a lot.
Well. That was... something.
I was expecting Twilght becomes Phineas Fogg, not a retelling of The Great War and definitely not "welcome to international politics, please bend over." That being said, wow.
This wasn't a story about Twilght, it was a story about Spike. Twilight was along for the ride. She had her eyes opened, but he received the true education.
Bravo. I'm now going to go drink heavily while I ponder it further and add this to my favorites list.
P.S. Please consider writing a side-story, where we are a fly in the wall when Twilight explains her plan regarding Chrysalis to Celestia. I have popcorn.
P.S. bonus points for breaking PresentPerfect.
8072970
This will be a trend for him.
8076406
You got a lot of good entries in that contest man.
So yea, I backfilled some of my comments there for each chapter cause I wad behind schedule when reading for that SA feature (how fitting, right?) and had to just truck through the story without proper comments along the way, and now that I've fixed that I wanted to cap off this whole thing by reiterating how much I loved this story. Forget the wwI parallels, however copy pasted they may be (I don't know, since I've never studied that), this was superbly written and paced.
I love that this story focused more on Spike than Twilight. The whole growing up theme the story leaned so heavily on made it for me. It felt so real, and to watch him struggle against what he knew was right is one of the things the show itself has touched on, but not to this depth.
This one's going on my profile page.
8082006
Thank you! The content was basically all original. It takes themes from Around the World in 80 Days and the 80 Days game, but all of the actual places Spike and Twilight visit, and the key plot points, are made from whole cloth.
Eeeeeee!
8083575
I couldn't think of a way to summarize it that wouldn't be a huge spoiler.
8083716
Well, yeah, but you could be vague about it, ie "by the time they return, their lives will never be the same again" or "turns out, life is very different outside of Equestria". Just, you know, something to let readers realize things are gonna go down.
8083730
Well, after the title it says "by GaPJaxie"