• Member Since 19th Oct, 2011
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the dobermans


Comments ( 22 )
jmj
jmj #1 · Aug 6th, 2016 · · ·

This story is awesome. It's dark, ambiguous, and keep you guessing at what might be happening. The ending is the very best kind for a horror story: it leaves you second guessing. You are uncertain if what you think happened is what really happened. I'm pretty sure I have it figured out but I kind of hope I'm wrong too.

Beautiful.

P.S.-- You liar. I wrote like 400 words. You wrote this story. I couldn't pull this off.

7458797

Couldn't have done it without you, boss :pinkiehappy:

I love this type of writing, though I am a mite confused by the end.

8917430

Glad you enjoyed it! The ending was intentionally left ambiguous to allow for interpretation, so no mark against you for wondering. Listening to the audio reading, if you haven't already, might offer a direction as to what's going on. Feel free to PM me too if you want to discuss it! :pinkiesmile:

I am writing in regard to the unfortunate matter that concerns us both. As you are well aware, your father, in preparation for his noble effort to ferret out the vile Fiend of the Everfree, made known his wishes should he meet with a bad end destiny. It will console you to learn that the sum of 5,000 bits and one 5 carat ruby has been transferred to your Manehattan petty cash vault. An additional 500, the china heirloom set you fancied, and three autographed copies of Immortal Incest: The Secret Trysts of Celestia and Luna have been sent to the above address by standard post, due to arrive in four business days. As I deem this transaction settled, I will consider further inquiries to be an invasion of privacy and will respond with legal action. Should your sisters contact you challenging your portion of the estate, refer them to your solicitor as you see fit. Identical missives will be sent to them presently.

So this guy, good ol' Future Perfect, was writing slander about the princesses and publishing rumors about them as well as thinking interviewing a serial killer alone was a good idea?

9036921

Yup, pretty much. Had a penchant for going after (or inventing) jaw droppers. Also had an ego that could push a pony right out the door. :pinkiesmile:

9039831
Certainly, but he was able to get away with publishing something of that nature nearly or completely unscathed?

9039876

I like to think he was well-connected and a popular public figure, so it would look suspicious if he were ever to meet with an untimely demise. One could argue, of course, that the ponies he defamed have the ability to make any misfortune seem coincidental, but they would likely take the approach of taking the high road and passing it off as rumor-mongering.

9040028
I suppose that’s an explanation. To have the gall to anger goddesses though!

When vengeance goes horribly wrong.

Wow this was a crazy one.
9036921
I thought the incest was real. At least according to Pinkemina.

10329266
She’s not exactly a reliable source, and this dude was a tabloid writer. It would also be staunchly out of character for the princesses to do something so awful. I’m not exactly sure why it would be real.

10329300
In this particular universe they seem to be assholes. Why haven't they done everything within their power to capture Pinkemina?

I liked these stories by the way, but this is my personal observation. These stories must take place in the darkest timeline.

10329670
It’s been a while since I’ve read these stories so I don’t quite remember anything in particular about the portrayal of the princesses beyond them being shown as somewhat more cynical, though that doesn’t necessarily mean they have degenerate character.

Sometimes I don't even need to do it myself... Heheheheheh...

Just pretending is enough.

jmj

10329670

10329679

Just re-read Dobes sequel and thought I'd chime in.

In MFC Future Perfect was egotistical but he really did investigate and find stories. Despite being a total jerk obsessed with himself, he was very good at his job. The stories he printed were completely true and they led him to being a popular culture titan, which fed his ego to the point he felt invincible. Celestia and Luna, at least in MFC, were only mentioned by Perfect while bragging about himself and his accomplishments. Because of his status, Celestia and Luna couldn't really do more than damage control and try to cast doubt upon the article he wrote.

They never did much about Pinkie because she was too slick to be caught. She was always one step ahead and took up residence so far from civilized society that, short of searching the entire forest, she could not be found. Her sorties to take victims slowed down over time and really only surged during her time in Ponyville and right after when she would visit other towns. Eventually, it became too dangerous for her to take more than a lost hiker. Her game was not over but she so rarely caused a problem that the sisters were able to explain away those who went missing once or twice a year and they let her name begin to obscure. She began to want the spotlight again and needed to take out a big name. Hence, the luring of Future Perfect. She knew his hubris would cloud his judgment and he would come as she had asked.

And yes, this is a darker version of the world. On the outside, everyone is pure and beautiful but they all have secrets. Just like we are capable of good and evil, so are the citizens of Equestria. They put their best hoof forward and they are most likely far happier than the real world but that doesn't exclude them from their own little evils. I'm sure there are drugs, pimps, and other vice-related things in the MFC Equestria but they are not quite as present or as violent as the real world.

This is a great sequel and Dobes writes beautifully but he was free to create MFC in his own image so their are minor inconsistencies. MFC Pinkie isn't a joker. She's long passed that bubbly goofiness. She's very intelligent and only uses language as a way to trap and belittle whereas Dobe's Pinkie is still into word play and has a strange kind of bubbly fun. She's more Pinkie than the one in MFC. He went into wonderful detail about Celestia and Luna, especially Luna's self-hatred and need to suffer because that is definitely his cup of tea. I wouldn't have written them quite that way but I fully support what he did to round out the characters and add to the world of MFC.

So, that's my perspective anyway. Dobermans' thoughts may be different. Hope this helps.

10526825
It does make sense to hear the original story's author chime in. I think that detail stood out the most to me because like the princesses in BronyWriter's serial killer Rarity stories, they are darker here, but still largely in-character. We see the princesses trying to plan around causing further suffering and having to deal with one of the Element Bearers turning out like this. So for them to be cynical made sense, although not depraved.

jmj

10526837
I completely understand. I started the ball rolling and Dobes ran with it. I've known him a while on here and I was pleased he wanted to write a sequel. It definitely resonates with influences from his work and I like it.

But if you were to ask me why I added that detail in MFC it would be because I needed a scandal for Future Perfect to have exposed. Nothing more, nothing less. I like the implications of it: government hiding things, the world is Equestria but maybe not the one you know, and (more to the point of the story) there are more monsters than just Pinkamena in this world. She just makes headlines because she doesn't care anymore. She doesn't hide who she is inside. But, I wasn't thinking that far ahead when I came up with that particular scandal. Same with Cloudsdale's Equestrian Games ban for steroid use and attempted murder to cover up the truth. It just sounded fun.

10526878
Indeed, though I think my initial interpretation was more of the royals thinking "Holy shit we can't have this two-bit tabloid loser besmirching our royal names, let's cover up this undignified mess" and the rest goes as follows.

10526825
10329679
10329670

he was free to create MFC in his own image

Just wanted to say that Vengeance was inspired, for the most part, by the fascinating world that jmj built in the original MFC. It seemed to me like a photo negative of the canon Equestria (if you're not familiar with the outdated technology, think of the solarize filter in photoshop). All of the whites were black, and vice versa. That, and the last few lines where Pinkamena tells the inhabitants of that world that they're all just figments of her imagination; their lives and deaths are meaningless to her. It's the darker implication of solipsism. Everything's OK, all the wars and diseases are meaningless, because they're just phantoms produced by a single valid brain. Poignant believes that she herself is legitimate, due to her wealth and demeanor and sense of propriety - that she alone is real, in a sense, and others exist for her use and convenience. Why not invert that? There's no objective way to tell who's real and who's a figment.

Ultimately, though, Vengeance was a spin-off, and the canonical MFC universe belongs to jmj. V could be interpreted in such a way as to mesh well with that canon, but there may be gaps and inconsistencies here and there.

MFC Pinkie isn't a joker.

Incidentally, Joker the movie has some startling (though I'm sure perfectly coincidental) similarities to MFC:V.

10528816

It's the darker implication of solipsism. Everything's OK, all the wars and diseases are meaningless, because they're just phantoms produced by a single valid brain. Poignant believes that she herself is legitimate, due to her wealth and demeanor and sense of propriety - that she alone is real, in a sense, and others exist for her use and convenience. Why not invert that? There's no objective way to tell who's real and who's a figment.

You can tell by asking politely. Duh.

jmj

10528816

Vengeance was a spin-off, and the canonical MFC universe belongs to jmj.

You have written just as much as me, Top Dog. And your use of symbolism and foils are superior to mine. I just come up with twist endings and write a bunch of junk to get to that ending. I may have made an outline but you filled in the rest so it belongs to you as much as me.

Your avatar reminds me or Sharky the shark dog from Eek the cat more than Nightmare Moon though. Always has. Goes like this "Oh, there's Dobes. I sure love his Sharky picture. Oh wait... that's not who that is" Every. Single. Time.

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