• Member Since 9th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday

DJSnakeBit3


*insert funny bio here*

Comments ( 44 )

I like this story u deserve a tumbs up

Luna then added in "Earth ponies are strong and durable while the Pegasus can fly and unicorns use magic. Earth ponies are strong and durable, pegasus are nimble and can fly, and unicorns can use magic."

^Double Type (and only big error I found :pinkiehappy:)

7473214 Thanks for catching that error for me I edit my own stuff and must've skimmed by this chapter too quickly

The chapters are a little short, but the over all story line is good. Add a little more detail and a little less what and spend more time on the why and i could see this story becoming an epic :moustache: keep up the good work

7478815 Thanks for your time and input. i'll try and add a little more explanation in future chapters and the first few chapters are supposed to be a little short as to not bore off the reader before it even begins and to not give off major plot points, however future chapters will get progressively longer and will explain more and throw in new problems as well.

Damn...... He got fucked up

Hey, great job so far. If you are ever looking for an editor/proofreader, feel free to ask. I enjoy helping others with their stories.

Unlikable "OC" and stale premise. I'll just leave my down-vote and go.

7956559 Hey that's cool if you don't like it i just wanna know what it is you don't like about my character. He definitely needs work yeah, but I need to know what needs to be done if that's going to happen. Thank you for your time.

I'm assuming he just hallucinated losing his leg and ribs at the end of the last chapter?

8005130 yeah In the first chapter when he died in the wreck it due to his skull getting crushed, leg pinched off by motor getting forced into it and a bunch of other things such as blood loss and ribs basically stabbing his organs. You know all that good stuff. These are just memories and hallucinations.

Holy shit.... That was brutal..

8032202 Well that was amazing.... Brutal but amazing...
Also first to comment on the chapter.... huh.

8032298 Hey man thanks for reading i'm glad you enjoyed it. Good job job on being first I guess lol.

8032315 Right?... I guess I just have no life lol....:derpytongue2:

Wait he got to keep his stuff? I was expecting celestia to steal then away from him

Finally, a protagonist who drives a good car

8056128
Best comment i've ever seen

Will this story have actual music in it?

8057558 Yes, it has already had a few and will continue to have more. Every song mentioned is real and can be watched on YouTube or listened to on Sound-cloud unless stated otherwise. I think I put something similar to this in an earlier chapter actually, and just to double check my disclaimer. I own none of these songs and all credits should go to their rightful owners. If I did own these songs i'd probably not be here and would be chilling in a sweet manor in the woods and sipping the finest whiskey money could buy.

Thank you for your request for a review on this story. I'll put this story up on my list of tasks to complete. As this story is longer than the one I did my first review on, I will be breaking this up into parts. I'm thinking 3-4 chapters per part will suffice. I'll talk to you later. :twilightsmile:

The FNAF references.....what's next? Angel bunny looking like Bonnie? I think Fluttershy would have a heart attack if Ray showed her that game.

Best chapter ending ever XD (that's a compliment btw)

Quick translation from pinkietounge to English OH MY GOD YOU MUST BE NEW HERE WE SHOULD TOTALLY THROW YOU A PARTY IT COULD BE A WELCOME PARTY BUT WE DONT KNOW YOUR NAME SO IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A WELCOME STRANGER WHOSE NAME WE DONT KNOW AND WE COUL-

Hmm two extreamly drunk DJ ponys and a guy imma just get the bleach before anything bad happens (agein no insult just a joke)

You know you've failed when your Challenger and crowd starts yelling R.I.P R.I.P R.I.P

8182632 It's all good dude I know ya just joking. Thanks for the compliments on the story and I hope ya enjoy the rest of the story.

I'm trying to read all the released parts of this story at 10:00pm XD

"Ray slowly wrapped an arm around the guards neck and moved right next to his ear then whispered, "Well, with this straw i'm gonna need you to... SUCK IT THE FUCK UP! Now get your asses to the showers...NOW DAMMIT!"
This is he best thing I've ever herd in a story XD

Will Ray only be fighting males? Also, you need a prereader. You should try Authors Helping Authors. And remember, the word “I” should always be capitalized, no matter where it is.

8215631
I was thinking on using Gilda or another female griffon in the griffon fight but that’s a weapon fight and I’m trying to decide what they would use and whether to allow the use of projectile weapons. I don’t want the fight to just be over because he pulls out the shotgun and yells, “pull”. If you wanna submit an idea I’ll be happy to listen.

"The weather pegasi said the have to let the storm get a little wilder later. I hate to say it but, unless ya wanna stay the night... You should probably get gone." she said.

Did you mean they Insted of the

loving the story man

8312362
Hey thanks for reading through the story so far man. I'm working on the next chapter that involves the griffon fight right now. However I have a daily schedule that I must keep so expect it in the next 3 to five days

Well Sombra just fucked everything.

Wow, 1971 Mustang with an airbag. Must be a real collectors edition since airbags DIDN'T exist in 1971...😂😂😂

8583636
Lol. Got a bit carried away when I wrote this at first. It's all good now.

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