IV.VIII - The Sheep
The journey to bed was a long and arduous one, but Starlight felt satisfied in a way she hadn't in years, working so hard to get achieve something.
Dramatic much? Starlight thought, as she fell face-first into the cool softness of her pillow. Perhaps she was being dramatic; she'd been nothing but since losing her horn after all! But magic had made things easier like that.
In the darkness of her pillow, Starlight saw Maud and Trixie sitting across from her, a large, cheesy pizza half-pineapple and-half sandstone between them. Cringing was second-nature at this point, having lost a fight against her first slice, a lap full of mozzarella, a burn on her thigh, and a cry even the princesses of Canterlot could hear. Trixie didn't seem to care, levitating a slice into her mouth in a way most would consider blithe, inconsiderate, if they hadn't known her as long as Starlight had. Asking the routine, "Are you okay?" would be about as humiliating as it was pointless.
Her conduct was a relief besides; Starlight wouldn't want Trixie minding her use of magic in as patronizing a way as Twilight would.
Maud had said nothing either, likely empathizing or speechless or both. She did meet and hold Starlight's gaze, though, and rather than acknowledge her friend's faux grin, she proceeded to quietly teach her how to... how to eat pizza...
It was a big help: wordlessly, Maud had lowered her slice back unto her place, setting it on the very edge where the nibbled tip hung. Then, one hoof lifted it up toward her mouth, and she took a bite.
It was ingenious! Starlight thanked her friend aloud and she merely nodded. She knew this was ridiculous, but she was being a true friend and helping Starlight without making it embarrassing. That's what Starlight truly thanked her for, or so she thought to herself as she mimicked Maud's method between a recounting of last night.
The nerve of that Twilight... And Starlight...
She wasn't around to greet Starlight, still, when she got home. It was even earlier than last night, nine-o-nine to be exact, but there was no antsy purple princess come to greet her at the top of the stairs this time.
Starlight cringed.
She really showed her, didn't she? If it wasn't so late, if she wasn't so ashamed, so afraid, and pathetic, Starlight would have gone to the West Wing and sought Twilight now. Apologized up and down for being such a bullheaded ninny, and expressing that, while she did not want the kind of help Twilight was offering, deep down she had appreciated it greatly. Her ridiculous pride was what ran her mouth these days, not her brain.
Oh, boy, that's a lot to make up for, isn't it?
Starlight rolled over to her side, pinned by her lousy guilt. "Tomorrow," she vowed to utter silence. "We'll talk tomorrow." They both just needed a day of space, to cool off, that's all.
That's all.
Utter silence, and the faint thrum of her heartbeat hammering away, was the only thing audible in Princess Celestia's tower.
"Twilight," said her friend and old teacher, "you understand, don't you?"
Her concern was so palpable it was painful. She really thought her little princess would dive into the vast unknown, as if this were little more than a research project to be conquered with zeal.
"Yes." She really hated to disappoint the princess.
Ahead, splotched upon the peak of a cyan canvas, the sun cast her in its warming gaze. She could remember hearing the bustle of Canterlot echo all the way up here, but she was a filly, then, with young ears undamaged by spells gone awry. Now, there was only silence, their breathing, and the heavy warmth of Celestia's wing cupping her back. A familiar position, and if Twilight were being honest with herself, a desperately needed one.
She'd have denied herself this had Luna not been so forceful. She'd seen through her denial, the veiled excuses of "I'm fine after a good night's sleep," and tolerated them for a whopping ninety seconds until she challenged Twilight's sense of honesty. But she wasn't lying, she really thought, after her and Spike's whispered pep talk, that Twilight knew how to help Starlight and protect them from the Ladies of Flutter Valley.
"Twilight?"
The Princess of Friendship and the Element of Magic had no limit to her potential! Surely she could devise a way to fix this with her friends and Elements by her side.
"Hey." Celestia's voice was low, soothing, directly in her ear. Celestia, who advised her ever-naive student not to rely on such inconsistent powers for Starlight, nor to give the Ladies a second thought. "Twilight," she said at normal volume.
The lurch in her voice, clenching Twilight within her wing, it startled her. "Sorry, sorry! Just thinking!" Though Twilight was sorry for a great many things, current chief among them her betrayal of Celestia. Or making her feel like she had. She'd never intended to make Celestia feel like a monster, yet, her actions had. Just as she made Starlight feel inferior, guilty, or whatever was really going on in that head of hers, in her head she'd demonized her teacher as she always had.
Twilight just didn't want to be a nuisance. Celestia really made her feel the naive fool for that: "However could you be such a thing, my faithful student?" Gosh, swallowing still ached from when that lump previously formed in her throat.
"Hey." Celestia's head was craned down beside her's, smiling oddly devilishly in these dark times.
"Hi." Twilight smiled in greetings, uncertain of where she was going.
"I'd have hoped you were, Twilight."
She would have nodded if she didn't feel so lost. "Princess, I don't understand. What am I doing?"
Celestia's smile died, concern came to surface. "Thinking about your coming task. Better that than sticking to any notions of using dark magic, wouldn't you say?"
The effort to gaze upon her former teacher became impossible. Shame weighed heavily on Twilight, mind and soul. She was an idiot, a complete fool. She'd expected the tongue-lashing of a lifetime, an apology letter, an five-thousand word essay on why dark magic is stupid and dangerous and only used by ponies who've no care for themselves or others.
Celestia's reaction instead reminded Twilight of the time her own mother visited "little Twily in her own house," after the quote-unquote "life-threatening danger" she'd faced in the form of Nightmare Moon. The princess's was just more, well, regal.
"You're afraid, aren't you?" asked Celestia. Gazing upon her again, Celestia was fixed upon the cloudless blue ahead, her balcony doors wide open for air circulation. "You've much to fear for, I know. And I wish, as your teacher, friend, and most importantly now, your princess, that I could provide the exact words needed to expel those fears. But the truth is, Twilight, in these current times, such words don't exist. We must follow our best instincts possible, as we always had, and put our faith in the roads that have led us here, and will continue to guide us through this uncertain future."
"Princess..." The weight of her words, her fears pouring out solely for Twilight to hear, it was at once a privilege and a curse.
Celestia bowed her head, eyes shut. The veil of her little teasing was coming off. "To answer my own question: I, too, understand. With all you'd told me, I understand the gravity of the situation. I understand how little we truly understand about the forces at work. I understand, at the center of it all, what, or rather whom, is at stake."
"We both understand, Twilight. Understand that I'm taking this with every bit of seriousness as you are. I hope everything I'd said will not be forgotten. That is, if you're not fibbing when you answered my initial question."
Her knowing smile, the look from the corner of her eye, struck a familiar fear in the heart of Twilight. "I-I do!" she cried, despite Celestia having caught her in the act. "I mean," she sighed, "I understand the part you're trusting me to play. That I have to put my faith in my title, and my destiny and my friends, but..." Twilight blinked away a welling pressure; she hadn't cried yet, she wouldn't. Not in front of Celestia. She was a big pony with a bigger responsibility on her shoulders.
"Please, Twilight. Tell me. I want nothing mired in fear between us, not now." Her ones-versary, that mess of a play, was small time compared to the task before them now.
"Right," Twilight began, swallowing, "sorry. I'm having trouble understanding just one little thing about all this." She seldom questioned Celestia, and even now her chest writhed over what was essentially talking back; throwing Celestia's best plan right back in her face. "I'm wondering why Starlight can't see somepony more qualified." She continued as Celestia's brows wrinkled, "A doctor, o-or maybe Mage Meadowbrook has some kinda remedy, or something. But what about Princess Luna? She could directly help Starlight with whatever she's afraid of."
Luna, apparently, had already, though any quest for further information was shot down sternly by the Princess of the Night.
"If only it were that simple," Celestia cooed with sympathy. "Doctors are for ponies who are hurting physically, Twilight. Meadowbrook specializes in ailments of an otherworldly nature, and you know the help she tried to give already." Twilight did with heavy heart; in her desperation during Starlight's coma, she lettered Meadowbrook with an incredibly rude 'Hey I'm not gonna die by the way...' only to hear back that horn restoration was well beyond the earth pony healer's renowned capabilities. "And I won't pretend to understand Luna's way of doing things," said Celestia, her voice thinly veiling annoyance, "but she'd spoken with me about Starlight over yesterday's breakfast. Nothing specific, of course, but her line of questioning about Starlight's friendship with you made it clear to me she'd visited. Therefore, whatever she's experiencing, it's clearly emotional."
And not of a romantic variety, so Cadance was out. "And so it falls to me," Twilight relented. She'd often felt some degree of tightness in her belly, whether it was over a deadline or a coming meeting with friends. And disappointing ponies were one of Twilight's greatest fears. This ever-growing record of achieving precisely that rendered the possibility of doing so a likely reality.
Having failed to understand and help Starlight calcified this fear so bad it made her stomach buck.
"You need not be afraid, Twilight." Turning, eyeing Celestia like some miserable puppy, she found an encouraging smile awaiting her. "A friendship problem lies before you. One of the greatest yet in your career. It will be hard, I won't lie. But I believe in you, and the unbreakable bonds you've forged. That includes that which you share with Starlight. She needs you, Twilight. Nopony else is better suited for the job."
The task before her scared her, still. No, it downright terrified her. Yet somehow, some way, Celestia's words made her smile. "I understand," she said gentle poise. "Good to see your confidence in me hasn't been misplaced yet."
"And it never will be." Celestia's smile, relieved and proud at once, warmed her greater than any of her previous reassurances. It was like she truly believed Twilight could do it, and if she did, then perhaps it was true.
"Meanwhile," Celestia continued, tone darkening, "I shall look into these strange creatures using my free time between appointments. And mail," she added, flashing a weary smile. "However, you must first locate the journal Starlight had lent, and ask Spike to send it to me. The contents therein possessed information that led her to this lost land. I shall follow in her hoofsteps."
Fear froze Twilight cold, aching greater than that of the nightmarish Draggle and her awful trick. Even as powerful as she was, Twilight couldn't bear another loved one hurting themselves in colluding with the witches.
Obliquely because of her. Twilight wet her lips. "Princess, what do you make of them? Are they aiming to attack Equestria?"
Celestia bowed her head. "I've no notion of what their plans are, unfortunately, if any exist. Starlight's view is just as valid as yours, after all."
"O-of course." She didn't expect Celestia to readily accept Starlight's belief of these creatures being enablers of Destiny. The information at hoof made it plausible, but it was so out there and nonsensical and terrifying that...
"I just don't want to believe it," she confessed.
"Nor do I," Celestia said gravely, and Twilight realized she was equally as afraid of the concept as she was uncertain. "However, if they do have plans, then we must stand together. All of us, pony and creature alike. Rumor's begun to spread of Starlight's deeds from the heart of Equestria. I fear it will be a matter of days before the entire country knows."
"Oh, no! Aren't you afraid of a panic?" Twilight already knew of Celestia's communication with several inquisitive mayors, ealdormares and allies about the recent events surrounding Twilight and Starlight. Up until two days ago, however, nopony but poor Fluttershy knew of the horrors Starlight had conspired with. Twilight was to blame for not taking this development, nor Spike's help, with the seriousness it required. Now Celestia was dealing with the blowback because of her negligence.
To her question, the princess nodded. "It's all the more reason we prepare sooner than wait for them to come to us. Luckily, our land has weathered many a magical catastrophe to prevent an immediate outcry. This was the better option."
"Right." Celestia had been handling such things for centuries; better this than lie and keep everypony blissfully ignorant, should the worst befall them. But still, it seemed like this could easily go awry. Somehow, some way, these things always did.
Celestia rose from her pearly-white sitting pillow. "We could be toeing a line here, Twilight. I know that." She strode slowly to the balcony, sunlight glimmering against her nakedness. "But it's because of this uncertainty that I implore you, not to concern yourself with these beings." She stopped, reared her head, eye bright as her namesake and equally as magnificent, "These beings, this power, the tending of such things must be my burden. And should they come to you again," she continued, Twilight found herself following, "then you must keep your friends close if that's the case. This is sadly the only advice on offer." She gleaned Twilight's anxiety from the corner of her eye. "Of course, this is all under the assumption that Starlight is wrong. These creatures might just be as naturally occurring as windigos, changelings and the like. They could very well be working within the confines of their own instincts, neither actively working for nor against Equestria's interests."
A soundless breeze stirred Twilight's matted mane. The faint jackhammering of a water pipe job buffeted against the serenity around them. Ahead, a vast, green valley rolled into a smoky haze, the mountain range to the left a serrated row of teeth, once imagined as that of a great, worldly beast by Twilight.
'Don't believe everything you read,' Draggle whispered in her memory. Starlight was smart, especially about magic, and she was positive of the connection these beings had with their home. She couldn't be totally, one-hundred percent wrong. Twilight wanted her to be, but that would be both irresponsible and disrespectful.
Never before had Equestria felt like so much of a threat. "They're evil."
Twilight surprised herself with the tone she'd taken, but it was true. It had to be. Nothing with a shred of kindness in its heart would torment Twilight the way Draggle had if it was merely a twisted bit of fun. These things weren't Discord; heck, they weren't even Tirek or Sombra. There was something dark about them, something that chilled Twilight down to her very core.
She turned fully, meeting Celestia's surprise. "Princess, I'm serious. There's something wrong about all of this. I can feel it, and Starlight did, too." Celestia opened her mouth, but Twilight had to convince her she wasn't talking crazy. "Even as petrified as she was, s-still is, there's this something that's uncanny about them we can't shake. These... these humans," gasped Twilight, shaken by the idea of these beings from Sunset's world being capable of such cruelty, "these humans had to've been something else at one point! And they'd done something we, by all the laws of Harmony, would consider downright evil! I know I'm basing this off feelings a-and the testimony of an unreliable witness, but please, please take this as seriously as possible, please. If you find them and speak with them, you can't trust a word they're saying, especially if...!"
A white hoof pushed gently against her muzzle. Celestia smiled wryly. "I know, Twilight," she said casually. Confidently. "I'm not rushing into this without a plan. You won't have to worry for any of our safety."
Our? She was already plotting. Gathering her forces. Maybe Discord was one of them?
Twilight sighed, sagging. Calming. It's no wonder Celestia kept this country together after one of its ruler's fall, a province's vanishing and the birth of the changelings, let alone in peace. Until recent years, of course. But those stood as testament to Celestia's political shrewdness and widespread love; a lesser ruler would not have kept Equestrian morale so high under such a tenuous future. Though she often attributed her success to the Elements of Harmony, Luna, and Cadance.
Nopony was more capable for this job than her. "Okay, Princess Celestia. I believe in you, too." Bathed in sunlight, her coat gleamed like polished ivory.
Yet her big smile made it seem dull by comparison. "I appreciate the vote of confidence, Twilight. Thank you." She bowed her head. Twilight was so entranced she almost forgot to lower her horn as well.
And then warmth like the summer sun enveloped her, sweeping Twilight off her hooves. "I'm so proud of you," Celestia whispered, seizing her by the throat. "Don't falter, and don't doubt. You are strong... understand? You've come this far for a reason. Have faith in that, and trust me, all will emerge from this unscathed. I promise."
It took a few tries to find her voice; never had Celestia been so passionate, so raw. Emotional. "I know." Twilight returned the embrace, squeezing and wrapping her hind legs around Celestia's barrel. She buried her face in the princess's softness. Such closeness was rare. Twilight relished these moments because she never knew if they'd be her last. "I know," she murmured, "but I never seem to remember. I always forget when it's most important..."
A soft, knowing laugh. "I remember feeling as you do. You will learn to trust yourself, Princess. With time and painful failures, you will."
Twilight hoped so. She was her own worst critic. At least she was an alicorn with all the time in the world to learn.
Starlight didn't believe this was real. It had to be a nightmare, for she couldn't remember any others, making this the one she'll retain. But after several blinks, her bedroom was still awash in golden hues. A slight morning chill clung to her coat. The slight smell of powdery candy still lingered in the air, despite being days since a spell was last cast here.
Starlight inhaled deeply, having never taken particular notice of the sweet smell of magic residue, and smiled despite the ache in her chest. It will get easier with time.
A full night's sleep was unexpected, but most certainly welcome. The thought made her fuzzy inside, and she kicked the covers up, landing them closer toward her dock. "Jus' five more minutes," she grumbled, rolling over...
...and met with a black hole of a throat, grey , gummy flesh, and a slab of frosty, creamsicle-colored flesh below shaped like a flattened "U." Starlight blinked; it was a maw. One big enough to swallow two ponies whole, now that it was staring her in the face. She'd have recognized it sooner by the snaggletoothed jaw that once hung there.
Starlight blinked just because her eyes went dry. It was still there. The witch was still there. She was right in bed beside Starlight. In her bedroom.
"hIyA," chirped a demonic child. Reeka. It was her disembodied voice, that's how they sounded.
Visions of a claw filling Starlight's vision flashed forth from memory, followed by phantasms cleaving her forehead open like the worst pain she'd ever known. A sharp squeak of a scream lodged itself in Starlight's throat. She couldn't move. Her legs wouldn't listen. Her spine was like a bar of iron, unbreakable. She was unbreakable. Nothing would happen. This was nothing more than a scare tactic. A nightmare. A hallucination because she was just that crazy by this point.
Reeka propped her potted, mutilated head on one fist. "yOu'Re CuTe WhEn YoU sLeEp."
And Starlight wailed. She shrieked. She hollered and yelled like a banshee dying all over again as she tore out of bed and galloped for the door, but magic wasn't a thing anymore, so she tried opening it with her hooves but they kept slipping like the cursed thing was made of ice, and she couldn't get a hold and tears came forth so she started banging on the door praying that Fizzlepop would hear and... and...
Starlight collapsed to the floor, gasping between sobs, one hoof still propped against the door and an ear accompanying it. Pure silence. As if anypony would care enough to save her. Fizzlepop likely wrote her off as having some manic nightmare.
"yOu CaN sCrEaM aLL yOu WaNt," said Reeka, jolting Starlight. "BuT i'M sMoThErInG yOuR SoUnDwAvEs WiTh My MaGiC. wOuLdN't WaNt AnYbOdY rUiNiNg OuR sLeEpOvEr NoW, dO wE?"
Reeka was sitting on her bed, as wide as the thing was long. "What do you want!?" Starlight the realization that she was a cornered animal and transmuted it into a familiar, comfortable emotion: blinding rage. It was all she could do not to start screaming again. "What do you want?!" she cried again. "What do you want?! What do you want?! What do you want what do you want what do you want?!" Visions of these monsters, every horrible second in their presence replayed in her head, a barely-contained flood she'd largely pushed out of mind. She'd actually forgotten these were horrible things that existed in their world. She let herself forget like the desperate fool she'd always been. "Just leave me alone."
"yOu'Re ExTrA sNiPpY tOdAy." Reeka rose to gigantic heights, radiating with power. Sweet Celestia, the pot stuffed with half her dome almost brushed the ceiling. "CaN't I cHeCk Up AnD sEe HoW mY FrIeNd iS dOiNg? We ArE fRiEnDs, ArEn't We, StArLiGhT? yOu'Ve An AfFiNiTy FoR bRoKeN tHiNgS, aFtEr All." She began waddling over, her disgusting tree stump of a foot never leaving the ground, merely dragging. It was covered with boils and veins and her toes were just little sausages poking from the flesh, nails yellow and green like moldy cheese.
"S-stay back!" Starlight hiccuped, pressing her entire back against the door.
A low, echoing chuckle shivered from the mangled flesh of Reeka's face. "i ThInK nOt." Rays from the window cast Reeka in an aura, like she was some Celestia-divined being.
"What do you want?!" sobbed Starlight, pressing harder against the door. Maybe if she believed in friendship hard enough, she'd phase through it. Or Twilight would come in and save her. Oh, Twilight, if this is it I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
"wOuLd YoU cAlM dOwN?" Reeka snapped. Looming ahead, Starlight could see her red and yellow dress was in tatters, its pieces bound to her body with rope practically infused with the ashy, lumpy skin peeking through. "i'M nOt GoNnA hUrT yOu."
Starlight barked a laugh. "Swell job so far!"
"pHySiCaLLy." Her purr would have sent chills wracking Starlight's body had she not already been totally petrified.
Reeka pivoted toward her, but stopped and sat criss-cross several feet away, pretty much in the middle of Starlight's bedroom. Her clubbed leg sat like a true log, now, both scabby, clawed hands resting upon it. They were sitting like old friends, this ancient, pre-Equestrian being of magic, and the hornless, most powerful unicorn of the current generation.
This meeting was many things (well, one that was fueled by several similar emotions), but downright weird was an unexpected facet.
"SeRiOuS qUeStIoN," panted the witch, "hOw Do YoU sTaNd ExIsTiNg, StArLiGHt? It'S sO eXhAuStInG!"
Understatement of the century, especially in the witches' case. "What the hay are you guys?" Starlight hugged her stomach, trying to keep her chest from exploding outwards. "You look..."
"bEaUtIfUl?"
"Like soil fertilized with rotting watermelon." Starlight's jaw hung as her chest seized, staggering shut, all while trying to reign in her rampant thoughts. "Like you shouldn't be alive."
Reeka waved a dappled claw with a simple, "oH, iT's A lOnG aNd BoRiNg YaRn. I'm MoRe CuRiOuS aS tO hOw YoU'rE dOiNg?"
"Peachy." Starlight turned her body toward her bed, shutting her hind legs. Celestia knows how this thing was able to see, how it felt seeing her. "Now get lost. Scram. Things were getting better until you showed up."
A wicked cackle emitted from the statue-like monster. "tRuE eNoUgH! tHoUgH, yOuR oPiNiOn oF wHaT iS 'bEtTeR' lEaVeS mE qUiTe CuRiOuS."
Starlight made a show of rolling her eyes. "As if you don't already know." That's right, Starlight. Take a breath, chill out. Don't fall for any mind games and lose what little progress you've made.
"yOu MiSuNdErStAnD mY iNtEnTiOnS, sWeEtIe," said Reeka. "oF cOuRsE wE'vE bEeN kEePiNg An EyE oN yOu! NoT tHaT iT's NeEdEd, CoNsIdErInG hOw ObViOuS yOu'Ve BeEn." She chuckled, claw curled to the black pit in the back of her throat. "No, No, WhAt I, i MeAn, We, fInD cUrIoUs Is YoUr PeRsPeCtIvE oF tHeSe ThInGs. YoU'rE qUiTe GeNeRoUs Of YoUr SeLf-AsSeSsMeNt, AfTeR aLL."
It was nothing to sneeze at, considering. Nopony should be expected to turn on a dime. "'Any progress is better than no progress,'" countered Starlight.
Reeka tilted her head, seemingly recalling those words until, "Ah, YeS," she chirped, "tHe MaNtRa YoU'd PaRrOt To YoUr, Ah, 'FrIeNdS' iN oUr ToWn. ThEy FeLt So ReLiEvEd WhEn sHoWn PaTiEnCe FoR nOt WhOleHeArTeDLy EmBrAcInG yOuR pHiLoSoPhY aT tHe DrOp Of A hAt." A wicked giggle into her curled claw, despite its' rattling all around, in Starlight's ears, her memories. "NoT tHaT yOu WeRe TrUlY eMpAtHeTiC. oH! yOu CaReD fOr ThEm, SuRe. BuT oNlY sO fAr, In A tWiStEd SoRt Of WaY. tHeY wErE bEiNg, WhAt'S tHe WoRd? Ah! 'StUpId.' 'OvErEmOtIoNaL.' 'dIfFiCuLt.' WaS oNly A mAtTeR oF tImE bEfOrE bRiLlIaNcE tOoK tHe FoRm Of YoUr LiTtLe 'EduCaTiOn HuT.'"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I was the worst pony who'd ever lived and I pretty much ruined a total of twenty-seven lives with my backwards philosophy. If you're here to make me feel bad, congrats. Mission accomplished. You can leave, now." Though her heart was constricted by several horrible feelings at the moment, her distant past was not one of them. At least, not right now. Reeka needed to leave, though. Now.
"oH," she cooed, disappointed, "dOn'T yOu WiSh YoU cAn Re-EdUcAtE yOuR fRiEnDs, ThOuGh?"
"What?"
"i'M jUsT sAyiNg iT mUsT bE aNnOyInG, nOpOnY qUiTe GeTtInG yOu As ThEy OuGhT tO. bAdGerInG yOu."
Starlight laid her head back against the door, clenching her jaw. "Yep."
"dId I tOuCh A nErVe?"
"More like crystallized it in salt."
"hEy, DoN't BrEaK tHe MirRoR bEcAuSe YoU'rE uGlY."
A thickness like bile clawed up Starlight's throat. She forced it down. "How about you stop with the abstract spookums routine and do whatever you have to." The sooner she arrived at this point, the sooner Starlight could disregard them as petty scare tactics.
Reeka's shoulders dropped like a pair of weights. "yOu'Re No FuN." Her frown was audible.
Starlight gave a laugh like vinegar as she staggered to her hooves. "Oh, I'm fun. I love fun." She pat herself on the chest. "There's nothing I want more than to get better, so that I may have fun again, and not have to second guess every breath I take. So, get on with it! Make your point and get the heck outta my room!"
Starlight trotted back toward her bed. Not that she was going to take a seat. But the sight of Reeka made her want to vomit.
"ThAt. Is My PoInT," uttered the witch, in a low, dark, resounding tone, and Starlight locked up. "yOu, 'FrIeNd,' aRe As ShOrT-fUsEd nOw As YoU wErE tHeN, aNd ImPeTiNeNt To BoOt. yOu DrEsS yOuR nAsTiNeSs NeAtH a VeiL oF uNdErStaNdInG: sUrFaCe LeVeL aNd FaLsE, mUtTeRiNg oF 'tHe 'FoOlS' iN tHe NeXt BrEaTh YoU tAkE." Starlight whirled, eyes wide and breathing shallow. Chest tight. Nothing emerged. Reeka was standing beside her, leaning on her elephant's foot with her thumbs hooked in a rope cinched about her skirt. "YoU'rE rEfOrMaTiOn WaS a LiE," she declared. "yOu'rE aS bLiNd AnD tErRiBlE aS yOu'Ve AlWaYs BeEn, My DeAr."
Starlight inhaled sharply, forcing her gaze ahead, but only for a second before the weight of Reeka's words bore upon her mind. "Okay," she whispered, then aloud, "yeah. I hear you. And in other news, the sky is blue." Conceal, don't feel. Starlight knew, now, how atrocious an actress she was, but with Reeka able to read her face, even while physically behind her, she forced the welling pressure in her eyes back, and the swelling in her chest down with the mantra, Conceal don't feel, and thinking, you already know all of this, Starlight. You're working to get better. Don't let her win, don't you dare let these monsters win!
Reeka's presence loomed forth from the left, leaning in, reading her expression through the pot covering her eyes. "YoU'rE tAkInG mY dRaMaTiC rEvElAtiOn WeLL."
Starlight inhaled, achieving a small victory at last. She transitioned into a great sigh that wasn't at all fake. "Just tryna accept the facts and learn from them."
"oH?" Reeka propped a fist neath her chin's former space, frosty flesh tapering like a beard upon her neck fat. "NoRmAlLy, YoU'd Be ThRoWn InTo A rAgE bY nOw, BaRrAgInG hEcKlErS LiKe MySeLf WiTh MaGiC!" Her claw dropped, as did Starlight's gut, and she swallowed, her unwavering stare drawn upon... the pot, the least hideous part of her. "PoOr, GeLdEd PoNy," mocked Reeka, head rocking with every word. "wHy So DeTeRmInEd?"
Now who's the snippy one? If Reeka really did come here to get a rise out of Starlight, she'd not get it today.
Although Starlight saw no benefit, nor a proper excuse, to cover up the obvious. "It's all I have left to my character."
"a StAnD uP jOb YoU'rE dOiNg, DeAr! iF oNlY tWiLiGhT sPaRkLe KnEw How HaRd YoU'vE bEeN wOrKiNg."
"She only wants me to get better." Starlight turned and heaved herself upon the bed. "Call me nasty and ungrateful all you like, witch. I don't care. I'm gonna find it annoying to some extent."
"yOu'Re ReAllY tHaT dElUsIoNaL," Reeka spat, though nothing came forth.
"It's unreasonable to feel just one emotion over something as complicated as this," Starlight argued. "I know our 'Equestrian ways' are completely absurd to something like you, but that's how it works. We'll work it out, though. We always do." Starlight smiled, because it was true. It didn't get any more complicated than that. She was a fool for thinking that it was. "Berate me all you want. I know I've been acting like a total nincompoop over this entire ordeal. But this was a lesson, and it's not one I'm gonna forget soon."
"AnD wHaT's ThAt?"
"Like I'd tell you!" Starlight thought to herself, I'll never doubt my friendships again.
"sUiT yOurSelF. yOu KnOw, I'd FoRgOtTeN hOw StUbBoRn YoU aRe. I sUpPoSe i'LL jUsT gIvE uP."
As if that was even slightly true. "...Uh-huh." Starlight hoped she sounded more collected than she felt.
"yEs, I sHaLL," sighed Reeka. "i'M jUsT a HeArTleSs MoNsTeR, aLiEn To ThE wAyS oF bASiC sOcIoLoGiCaL bEhAvIoRs, WhO'd NaIvElY aSsUmEd A pOnY oF yOuR iLk WoUlD bE nOtHinG sHoRt Of GrAtEfUl To HaVe OnE sO cOnCeRnEd FoR HeR mIsErAbLe ExIsTeNcE."
Starlight had already accepted her actions. Yet Reeka pulled no punches there, and now she felt as terrible as she'd probably made Twilight. "And what's my 'ilk,' oh omniscient one?"
"ThE fRiEnDlEsS, cHiLd At hEaRt KinD, oF cOuRsE." If Reeka was aiming where it hurts, she hit her mark dead in the center. Though she clapped herself on the pot, a meaty, dense smack resounding, acting as though she'd still lost. "I dOn'T kNoW wHAt I wAs ThInKiNg," she moaned, "sWaGgErInG iN hErE lIkE i HaD yOu All FiGuReD oUt. WeLL, i'Ve a BetTeR iDeA nOw! YoU wAnNa HeAr It?"
There wasn't a snowball's chance in Tartarus Starlight would ever want to know. She kept her voice in check and muttered, "You're going to tell me regardless."
Reeka nodded affirmatively, hands on both hips. "YoU," she paused, gesturing, "aRe InHeReNtLy AwFuL. tErRiBle In A wAy ThAt TiMe, NoR aNyPonY, cAn FiX. tWiLiGhT jUsT tUrNeD hEeL fRoM dEaTh'S dOoR, aNd In No TiMe YoU'd StArTeD tAkInG hEr FoR gRaNtEd!"
Starlight's heart, at last, burst. "I was not!" she cried, tasting the lie. "I mean," she gasped, sagging, "I only wanted her to understand. To know she didn't need to spend a second of her time worrying about me! I wanted it so badly I just... lost myself, and my understanding of her. I..." The shreds of life lingering in her chest, like embers, sank deep into her guts.
I am awful... Liquid trickled down the short length of her muzzle, dribbled pitifully upon her hind leg.
"WhAt? WaS tHaT YoUr DeFeNsE?" Reeka cackled like a true witch. "YoU wErE nEvEr A gOoD pOnY, sTaRligHT. nO mAtTeR hOw DeSpErAtEly DeAr TwiLiGhT tRiEd To ConViNcE yOu OtHeRwIsE. ThIs OrDeAl MeReLy ePiToMiZeD tHe fAcT, WiTh tHE pRiNcEsS oF fRiEnDsHiP nOt AlLiGnInG oNe-HuNdReD pErCeNt WiTh YoUr DeSiReS."
Starlight nodded, though she barely heard any of the words. Their meaning was crystal clear. Crystal, the kind stabbing her in the chest in a flurry of shards. "Got a lot to apologize for, then."
"yOu BeT yOuR fAt TuSh YoU dO!" Reeka's palm twitched to face up. "YoU aLmOsT KiLLeD tWiLiGhT aNyWaY wItH yOuR gRoSs BeHaViOr."
Starlight regarded the witch, as if anything could be discerned from her mangled mug. She let loose everything built up within. Liar, hissed her brain, but her heart wrenched back. Of course that had happened, and of course it was Starlight Glimmer's fault, her gut told her. What hadn't she done to wrong Twilight, besides purposely ruin her life?
Oh, wait, she'd tried to do that, too. Several times, in fact, and in the name of avenging the ponies who, deep down, hated her ideals. They only wanted a place to belong, just like Starlight, who convinced them to be ashamed of who they were.
Oh. Oh, Celestia, she did not do this to Twilight, too. She couldn't have driven her to... to...
Reeka still hadn't elaborated, clearly waiting for her to play along.
"How?" Starlight wondered dully. Reeka wanted to break down her enemy in the most satisfying way. Starlight was sick enough to have recognized it. Understood. "How, after every... idiot mistake... I've made this past week," she seethed pitifully, "h-how did I almost...?"
A sob burst past her lips. Just one, and Starlight inhaled deeply, waveringly, and held, stiffening her lip while Reeka spoke. "WhY sHoUlD yOu TaKe My WoRd FoR iT," she purred, left claw moving to grasp her pot's handle, "wHeN yOu CaN sEe It yOuRsElF?"
And with a hard yank, a gut-wrenching crunch somewhere, the pot came off. Reeka lacked a jaw to smile with, but Starlight, chilled to the bone and shivering, saw pure glee radiating from her goggle-like brown eyes.
Reeka held the pot out, unblinking. "PeEr InTo ThE bRoTh. It's My SpEcIaL rEcIpE."
Like a golem, Starlight obeyed.
Within the pot, big enough to be a small cauldron by pony standards, held a brown liquid blanketed in a coagulated film. On its own it stirred, the mixture swirling and the film spinning, changing shape to reveal an image within the murk: the familiar Cutie Map in the center, Twilight staring hard at something towering above on the picture's right. “You know why I'm doing this," her voice echoed hollowly. Nothing, not even her lips, so much as moved. "And I’m telling you that I accept: I’ll make a deal." Starlight lost her breath. "If there’s something of mine that you wanted… if all this was to use Starlight to get to me, well, congratulations... Here’s your chance.”
Starlight pulled back, searching the ground, her lap, her forehooves for answers. "She," came faintly, "she actually... even after what I said she..." Those horrible words Starlight had regretted came to surface, no longer impaling her violently. She just felt sick. "Tried to make a deal," whispered Starlight, vision blurring, "even when I told her we wouldn't be friends..."
"sHe DiDn'T gIvE a FlYiNg pIg aBoUt YoUr tIrInG fRiEnDsHiP."
"T-tiring?"
"tHe DeAr oNlY wAnTeD tO fEeL gOoD aBoUt HeRsElF." Reeka jostled the pot, soundlessly churning its contents. "oH, sHe MiGhT hAvE hAd YoUr BeSt InTeReSt In MiNd," she hummed, "Or WhAt ShE pReSuMeD tHeY wErE, aNyHoW. bUt In HeR hEaRt, FrEeInG hErSeLf Of HeR gUiLT wAs MoRe ImPorTeNt."
Starlight knew the desire better than anypony, she thought. And she really, truly didn't want to know, but had to more than anything, as she asked, "So what happened?" She gazed ahead; focusing on any one thing would surely break the dam.
Reeka answered, "wE dIdN't AcCePt, Of CoUrSe. It'S iN oUr PoWeR tO rEfUsE, aFtEr All." That made sense. And just because Twilight wasn't thinking straight, she...
She... meant well. But it was just as stupid as what I'd done.
"She should have known better," Starlight growled. "She's too important."
"ExAcTly!" Reeka cried, slapping the pot upon her head. "YoU gEt It! UnLiKe HeR, yOu GeT hOw ThIs 'DeStInY' tHiNg WoRkS. LiTtlE tWiLy StRuGgLeS sTiLL, gRaSpInG iT; sHe'S FaR tOo ImPoRtAnT tO rUin."
Starlight ignored the pang in her chest, hearing this, asking, "I doubt that'll stop her. Once Twilight's mind is set on something, she doesn't quit." That included her humble nature, constantly brushing aside the fact that Harmony clearly favors her little circle.
"sHe WiLL iN tHiS rEgArD," Reeka assured her, gravely. "If ShE wErEn'T sO iNtRiNsIC, LuNa WoUlDn'T hAvE arRrIvEd In TiMe To StOp TwIlIgHt'S iNdUlGeNcE iN dARk MaGiC."
Starlight's back straightened like an iron bar. "She what?!"
"LoOk FoR yOuRsElF." Reeka held the stupid pot to her.
Starlight slapped it aside. "I don't want to see anymore!"
It reappeared in Reeka's claw; no flash or nothing, it just blinked into existence, accompanied by a force of summer heat. "YoU sEeM tO bE uPsEt."
Understatement of the century. Starlight wasn't just furious, she was baffled and distraught over this. "Has Twilight lost her mind?" she cried. "Dark magic is dangerous, it's stupid. There's a reason even I never touched it, and Twilight risked herself in order to... for..."
It was too much. Too much. Starlight dropped her face into her hooves, and cried, cried, screamed, and bawled. Twilight nearly destroyed herself over this. I almost destroyed her because of this. Because of me...
"iF gEtTiNg YoUr HoRn BaCk wAs OrDaInEd, YoU'd aLrEaDy HaVe iT," said Reeka, as if Starlight cared through the smog of self-pity, her fury for Twilight, and her soul crying out smothered by it all. "tWiLiGhT wIll iNdEeD dEsTrOy HeRsElF, lEsT sHe AcCePt a PaInFuL rEaLiTy. YoUr SuFfErInG iS aN uNfOrTuNaTe SyMpToM oF iT Of It."
Like Starlight and everything that made her was little more than a disease. "SHUT! UUUP!" Starlight roared, but nopony was there. Reeka was nowhere.
Her voice echoed above her. Behind her. Beside her and inside her. "yOu'Ve PlAyEd yOuR pArT iN aLL'a ThIs, AnD yOu PlAyEd It WeLL," she said. "bUt ThE sToRy Of TwiLiGhT sPaRkLe AnD tHe ReTuRn Of HaRmOnY mUsT cOnTiNuE wItHoUt YoU. yOuR rOlE iS fInIsHeD, My DeAr sTaRLiGhT. yOu'Ve SaVeD tHe PrInCeSs! BuT yOuR pAtH dIvErGeS eLsEwHeRe. FiNd PeAcE wItH tHaT, aNd i KnOw YoU'll BoUnCe BaCk In No TiMe!"
Starlight had to go. But she'd no idea where. But she had to go. She had to leave. After all of this, everything she'd accomplished, Starlight's purpose was to be a sponge, used up until it's exhausted, and attempting to press on would only make things worse. Gross. Dirtier.
Awful.
Starlight's vision blurred again, her face running hot, the fur cloying. She barely heard Reeka's voice. "ThOuGh IF i WeRe YoU, i'D SaVe ThE pRiNcEsS tHe PaIn Of FigHtInG tHiS iNeViTaBiLiTy." No. No, Starlight refused to leave! This couldn't be true, none of it... "tAkE a SwAn-DiVe oFf hEr BaLcOnY, wHy DoN'cHa? ShE cAn't StOp YoU iF yOu'Re AlReAdY GoNe!" Raucous cackles rang in Starlight's ears, barraging her all over, every which way. Constant, shrieking, wailing in her ears.
"QUIET ALREADY!" Starlight dove into her pillow, hugging it over her face. She thought for a moment she blocked them out, but it was Reeka obliging her, leaving Starlight with a gouging in her chest.
And when Twilight came knocking on Starlight's door seconds later, asking if they could talk, Starlight froze. She wanted to, so badly, but Twilight was irresponsible and stupid and falling apart and it was her fault for letting things get this bad. But really, it was all Starlight's fault. And Reeka made it clear she would only make it worse.
Twilight, more concerned, asked if Starlight was okay. She screamed for the princess to leave.
It was all she could think to say.
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Put another way, there is no need for Twilight or Cadance, but there remains a pressing need for the absent marriage and relationship counselors.
Also, Reeka is quite obviously lying to Starlight about her own role and importance here. That much is clear from every scene where it's just the Ladies talking to each other.
9278097
You mean the one scene? Yeah, though! That makes it clear they have bigger goals in mind, and Twilight and Starlight are at the center of it. Her words are meant to manipulate Starlight, however. To what end remains to be seen.
9278224
Does it? The story is called "The Broken Bond," and so far, Reeka's manipulations have caused Starlight to delay if not foreclose a reconciliation between herself and Twilight. Probably leading to more desparate self-destruction on the latter's part, which is just a retributive joy to read.
So that's kinda indication of that spell really working. Could it heal Twilight?
9279519
Are you referring to the original that cured Twilight of her sickness?
9279816
The one Twilight was contemplating using two chapters ago
9280177
Oh! I'm sorry, but what healing did Twilight need, then? She was going to cast it in order to give Starlight her horn back.
9280940
For her illness at the very beginning of the story
9281624
I'm sorry, but could you clearly explain your point here? Because I brought that up before and you essentially told me I had the wrong idea.
I love this being addressed. It's the thought and flavor to the characters that I think makes great writings.
9281830
Well, it appears that "Twilight is dying" problem at the very beginning had very simple working solution that was known at least by Luna for sure and probably was known by significant fraction of folks specializing in magic. In this context everyone's inaction is starting to look really bad. Inaction of regular folks is kinda-sorta may be excused, but princesses as leaders of whole country should definitely have known better.
9282779
Ah, I see. You're taking the dark magic route as a possible way of healing Twilight. However, Twilight was only using it as a way to rejoin Starlight's horn. To fix it. It wasn't implied to reverse death and even if it could, the great risks it offers were not worth it. Remember Nightmare Moon? I used dark magic as a sort of way to use that old 'the ends justify the means' proverb and establish how, even dipping your toe in evil is still an act of evil that will taint your soul.
Even so, the vague beginnings by Starlight imply that they tried 'everything,' even unnatural ways by Meadowbrook. But nothing seems to work. When you get down to it, the sickness that plagued Twilight could not be stopped even by dark magic.
9282644
It's the little moments that give greater depths of character, isn't it? Thanks for equating my story as a "great writing" however. I do hope you continue to enjoy it!
9283004
Hold up a second. I know you say later that dark magic wouldn't have been able to cure Twilight, but assume for a moment that it would. What you have now said is that preserving your own righteousness (or worse, avoiding the accumulation of RPG-like "corruption points" or whatever) is of a higher priority than saving a life. That is supremely arrogant and selfish. And also self-defeating, since a truly righteous person would hardly be able to live with their guilt after making a decision like that.
9287411
You're severely underestimating the power of dark magic. This is what happened to Princess Celestia, who did something as simple as cast a projection.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/11/15/153262/large.png
It's not so vague as "RPG corruption points." Dark magic is an absolute evil in MLP's world. It can do amazing things but even the most simple of related spells are clearly risky. If something as grand as reanimation were to be done, Starlight could have very well have become the next Nightmare Moon. You might not recall, but earlier when Twilight casually reveals she, Luna, and Cadance were scouring the cutie map with dark magic, scanning it for Starlight's "attackers," Starlight herself is disturbed by the notion that they would put themselves at such great a risk for her. Even she knows messing with this stuff is more risky than it's worth. Dark magic isn't something that should be taken lightly; it can most definitely cause more harm than good. We've seen that in Nightmare Moon and Sombra. We've seen its corruption emphasize the worst aspects of ponies like Rarity.
Thing is, if it was possible to save Twilight in the first place, Starlight would have definitely gone down this route. And that's part of my point with her story: she does what she thinks is right without considering the consequences. Starlight did something great, yes, but she also did something incredibly stupid for a number of reasons: disregarding what she'd done to herself with this, she signed herself into a pact with supremely powerful beings whose motivations are both vague and questionable. She, like Twilight almost had, was playing with fire and outright did not care about burning herself or others.
9287586
res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,c_fit,w_1100/zfamgvolrk8s7z0yenro
That's not really an issue: give caster slow enough poison, strap remotely controlled bomb to the back of her head, remove limbs and sensory organs unnecessary for casting, lay traps around and have princesses and whole royal guard ready to shoot caster immediately after. After all life of princess of friendship is more valuable than life of a single unicorn. And in general that's unavoidable immediate consequence of having powerful dark magic around: if shit gets real having option of fixing it for a single life as a price is not very difficult choice --- that gambit would be used constantly.
Well, Twilight not dying qualifies as consequences.
9287411
Only if saving lives under that specific circumstances is socially approved
9290486
Now that's simply not true. Not just because Twilight represents a net negative in the world, and not just because the role of Princess of Friendship is faintly ridiculous, but because she can be easily replaced in every way that matters. Say, by a certain unicorn.
9290718
If Element of Magic doesn't object
9291121
Why would it? It doesn't object to being used by Twilight, who is all kinds of deficient.
9291356
Knock it off, dude. This is what I meant before when I said you're stinking up my neck of the woods with this shitposting. It adds nothing to the conversation (not that there was one to speak of, what with the way you present your opinions). There can be one, an interesting one at that, if you put half the work into defending your point as you do reaching up your own ass to conjure them in the first place.
Stop slinging shit across my comments section. Censoring your inanity is becoming all the more appealing every time I see your avatar's purple face.
Man Starlight just can’t catch a break can she?
I thought as much, but it's definitely good to have confirmation!!
No therapists? I don't buy it. Not for a second.
9553557
Therapy is needed for people with intense histories they cannot cope with themselves. Take abuse for instance. You can't tell me abuse exists in the show's idyllic Equestria. Besides that, what I described seems sound
Edit: Look at it this way. A vast majority of the characters in MLP (i.e. Luna, Fluttershy, Twilight, Starlight, Stygian, Moondancer) would truly benefit from speaking with a psych professional but they don't, because they don't really exist. And if therapists exist, like I said, then that means relationship counselors/therapists exist, and that makes Cadance and Twilight objectively obsolete.
This was my favorite kind of darkly funny; just enough so that it sweetens the tragedy of Starlight’s mental state. I will never tire of immortal eldritch beings acting like obnoxious children, whether it’s Discord, these three, or Chrysalis (though, despite being immortal and certainly having eldritch origins, she’s not on their power level).
Also wow they really are the witches from Macbeth. They’re “agents” of fate, but it’s ambiguous whether they’re carrying out fate and just happen to enjoy being cruel, or whether they’re actually in control.