The Broken Bond

by TheApexSovereign

IV.V - The Rock-Solid Friendship

"What?" Maud struggled to pick up social cues. Maybe this was a strange joke. Trixie's presence implied it was.

Starlight blinked, as confused as Maud felt. "Uh, 'what' what?"

"Hey, Maud, you better watch what you're say-mmf!" Starlight's tail clamped across Trixie's mouth, who shot back a severe 'Shut up, I'm serious' look.

Maud was starting to believe that Pinkie was right, and that she'd grossly misjudged Starlight. "You want to speak to me." Shame lodged the rest in her gut, like so much grainy regolith swelling it from within.

Starlight tilted her head. "Well, you asked! What? You thought I was gonna say 'No, Maud! Go away!'" She laughed gently. Awkwardly.

Genuinely.

This wasn't Starlight lying badly again. This was simply Starlight, minus a horn. "Possibly.”

Her friend reeled a little, frowning as if—no, she did care how Maud felt...

Simply Starlight. Minus a horn.

Just like yesterday.

'I don’t think she cares as much as you say she does,' Maud had told her sister, trying not to sound too upset. 'I don't exist until I’m right in front of her.' And when Pinkie asked how Maud could entertain such petty stupidity: 'You did force us to become friends. Maybe Starlight felt bad for me and only stayed around out of obligation.'

Pinkie really let her have it after that.

"Maud," Starlight swallowed, bearing a smile full of assurance, "it's really convenient that you found us, actually. I've been wanting to talk to you since our fight, but... But I never knew when there'd be a good time for you. I-If ever... Stupid, huh?"

She was just as terrible at masking her pain as yesterday. 'You caused this, you know,' Boulder whispered from his little pouch. 'You hurt your best, non-rock friend, Maudileena! What're you gonna do now?'

Fix this, Maud thought to him. "It's understandable. I didn't overlook your mistakes as a friend should. I apologize for that, and..." for ever doubting you, "...I owe Pinkie Pie an ice cream cake."

Starlight's smile strained as sweat beaded the bare half of her forehead. "Oh? And why's that?" She was obsessing over that last part, theorizing, as she was wont to do in crisis mode.

For her sake, Maud didn't tell the truth. Or speak at all. How could she?

When she'd arrived on Maud’s cavern-step after her friends' flopped dinner party, eyes downcast and ruddy, Maud hoofed Pinkie her last bucket of vanilla bean without a second thought. It was a cold comfort to see her muzzle plunge into the ice cream; it meant she didn't feel quite as horrible as her big sister. She could tell something was wrong, of course, because Maud literally said nothing up to that point. Burning inside, tongue-tied, responsible as all Tartarus—how could she have possibly spoken? A feeling like tektite fresh from the stars smoldered all day, scorching her with its emotional energies, fighting for a mental calm that tipped too far left or right for Maud to handle.

It left her confused. Scared. Cowardly, above all.

Starlight, steeped in bliss, didn't deserve to have that taken away because of Maud's inability to get over herself. "I didn't think you'd want to speak with me," was all she planned on disclosing. A desire tugged inside her, yanking out the rest: "It'd only be fair. I rejected you because I was angry. Pinkie was right, though. And now I owe her a cake." And now Maud was rambling.

It was her only bulwark against spiraling into fury yet again. Even though it was all so much: Starlight's denial, and the proud declaration that she didn't care for her friends' feelings; Maud's empty threat, her regret after, the self-assurances and justifications, then the disgust she was left with. The realization that she'd overreacted, yet still felt hurt. And she didn't know what to do or how to feel about any of this. It was torture.

Like, dragons devouring gemstones by the score, kind of torture.

"I'm sorry," they said as one. Maud gawked.

Starlight mirrored her, and even dropped her mouth open. It was like they were in sync again, right down to the uncanny timing of their apologies. "Why are you sorry?" Maud asked.

"Why are you sorry?" Starlight replied, as behind her Trixie looked at Maud with first confusion, and then pity. The feeling was mutual.

But Trixie's business wasn't Maud's. That, too, would have gone both ways, but last night, before hearing the advice she really needed, Maud made her business Trixie's. All the better; it meant Maud couldn't omit the reality.

"Because I was angry. I still am. And I don't know what to do, even though I was told."

"What exactly were you told?" Starlight asked, glancing behind her. Trixie shrugged, confirming she told Maud nothing, and that she didn't spin nonsense in Starlight's head. At least.

"In short, that I was petty. Despite knowing from the start, why you did what you did." Maud gazed at her hooves. "I'm still angry though." An apology couldn’t begin to cover this transgression, this… selfishness.

How it lingered like a cut in the earth, a permanent scar, even after her talk with Pinkie Pie. 'Maud! You shouldn't be upset with Starlight over that! Don'cha know how unhealthily obsessive she gets over things?' Yes, Pinkie. But she was getting better at being conscientious of her friends until now, when it was most important. When her life was on the line, and even then, she didn’t even care! 'Oh, pssh! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing if I was in Twilight's place, riiiight?'

Of course. Absolutely. Maud would give up all her legs to save her sister’s life, and she cursed Pinkie in the dead of night for putting that horrible image of her near-death in her head. It was horrifying, and it only served to make Maud feel worse. Because Starlight must have felt just as terrible.

And yet...

She still would have been smart about it. She'd have gotten help. She'd not have traipsed alone into uncharted territory like some shortsighted hero!

...Like Starlight Glimmer. Who'd saved Princess Twilight's life, her real best friend, against all odds. Who'd not answered in the five seconds usually allotted between them. "Starlight."

She straightened, uttering a quick, "I'm sorry," as if Maud was capable of being annoyed right now. Starlight was blameless assuming that. "It's just," she began, gaze lowered, "you'd every right to be upset with me. Still do, actually."

Oh. This was a turn. Maud was ready to grovel (as well as she could), yet Starlight was bowing with penitence. This was very unexpected. How presumptuously did Maud misjudge her friend? "What do you mean?" This was one of the few times in her life she felt glad for her monotone.

Starlight met her eyes. "For barreling into danger without a word to anypony."

"Tch, as if you were obligated to!"

Maud was ready to call out Trixie for being a two-faced liar, last night's anger fresh in mind and heart, if Starlight hadn't lifted a foreleg before her. "It would have been a nice courtesy, knowing one of your friends was ready to do something crazy. But... I didn't. And it wasn't because I forgot." Trixie looked to her, shocked, Maud matching her with a widening of the eyes. Starlight met her gaze with courage. "Maud, I didn't tell any of my friends because I know you'd try and stop me. And I know—"

"How?" Maud asked without thinking. Starlight gave a double-take. "How did you know I'd do that?"

"Because I...!" Starlight shook her head, as if thrashing out a readily available lie. "I... didn't," she confessed. "But I refused to let anypony else get hurt, especially because of my choices." Starlight’s frustration abated as she rubbed her foreleg. "Some plan, huh? In the end, the one thing I tried to avoid happened a thousandfold!" Stepping aside to regard them both, Starlight croaked, "I broke a couple hearts and probably a lot more I'm not even aware of. I messed up, girls. I mucked this all up real bad."

"Starlight..." Trixie reached out.

"I'm sorry, for what that's worth." She leaned into Trixie's one-legged hug. "I'd not been particularly honest either, but I hope you believe me this time, when I say,” her gaze pierced Maud's soul, "I’m gonna get better."

Maud blinked.

This shouldn't have been so surprising. And she presumed Starlight thought nothing of their friendship?

Starlight was so much more complex than that, of course she did, and Maud...

Maud was cowardly. Always has been. And even with all that said, she still couldn't forget how she was forgotten. She'd a heart of fluorite. Honestly. "Okay," was all she could muster, to this pony far better than her.

She anticipated the smile of relief, albeit a brief floundering of it, as most ponies had with her lackluster responses.

But of course, she forgot how Starlight never blinked twice at such things. Because she understood.

And Starlight grinned like her little sister, tears perilously ready to spill over. "You really forgive me, Maud?" She wasn’t even trying to justify her actions like yesterday. She’d changed akin to a refrigerated beaker full of Epsom salt, growing overnight into something beautiful. Something Maud wanted to be a part of again.

She eagerly jumped on this return to normalcy. "Of course."

None of this should have been surprising, especially not the tight, relieving hug and "sorry"s to match. Pinkie Pie foretold all of this, and Maud never had a reason to doubt her wisdom on friendship.

Fear had ruled her judgement. Just as Starlight's had, Maud, too, forgot some important, obvious things in the face of this tragedy: 'Friends say upsetting things to each other when they're mad,' Pinkie told her, 'but Starlight knows that. She's, like, the Queen of Dumb Mistake Castle! I promise that if you talk to her now, there's no way she'd be upset with you.' But Starlight's legendarily short temper was the only thing in mind after running away, too "betrayed" to go back and apologize. Even as she trailed up this hill, hearing her and Trixie's failing and arguing, Maud was terrified of this outcome.

If Starlight never wanted to speak with her again, Maud didn't know what she'd do. Actually, she would go right back to her geologically fulfilling, albeit isolated, lifestyle.

As they parted their hug, Starlight wiping away tears and Maud doing the same, mentally, Trixie appeared beside her, looking every part the best friend she crowbarred into every discussion about Starlight: overprotective and critical of outsiders. "How'd you even find us, Maudie?"

"Maud Sense never fails me." It was a twinge in the back of her head, a drive in her heart that moved Maud toward the hill where she and Starlight flew kites. "There's something I want to know."

"What's up?" Starlight asked.

Maud hesitated. "It's a little bit embarrassing."

"Well, you got nothing to fear from me! Trixie, though..."

"Hey, I'm Maud's friend, too!"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Not the point," she said, reading Maud's mind.

But it was enough to assure her that Trixie, assuming she got out of her own head for once, would know where this was going. "Why aren't you more upset with me?"

Starlight blinked. "Well... why aren't you upset with me?"

"I'm livid, actually." And that cursed, burning hatred began swelling up again, Starlight's stricken face and Trixie's nasty glare only compounding the feeling. ‘Smooth, Maudileena. Like a glacier.’ Boulder’s snark was really not helping right now. "I'm sorry I can't help it. These feelings are new to me, and I don't know what to do with them."

"I find that letting them out always helps."

"Or just not thinking about them," Trixie added.

Starlight craned her head in the way. "Ignore that, Maud. Please." She grinned wide.

Trixie grunted, glaring left towards Ponyville. Little did she know how accurate she was, Maud being no stranger to ignoring her feelings. It was usually a subconscious task.

"Well," Maud began, choosing her words, "there's nothing I hadn't said already." At least nothing explicit, but Starlight knew enough to understand how she'd feel without needing to pry. "I suppose I feel conflicted. Simply put, it’s a war caught in a stalemate." Trixie nodded in understanding.

"There doesn’t have to be a winner," Starlight said uneasily. "Our feelings are more complicated than that, Maud. Sometimes, both sides are forced to concede when they realize their conflict isn't worth the energy." Her eyes searched the ground. "And usually, when that happens, they change themselves to live peacefully in the aftermath."

Sounds easier said than done. Sometimes, Maud was getting used to the fact that "change" had become a constant in her life.

From living in Ponyville, to having a best friend made from flesh and blood, and not a single drop of it being Pie-related; to suddenly having over three following Sunburst's visit, her best friend revealed to be a complicated, messy pony (as all Pies were), and wishing to never bring it upon her friend, as Maud had, as well: an aspect of Starlight Glimmer she'd both admired and disliked more than anything about her, in a strange way only a Pie could manage. Except it wasn't strange, because Maud was so much like her they were chipped from the same vein.

Rocks were easier than ponies. For sure.

"What are you saying?" Maud hoped she didn't sound as pathetic as she felt.

"I'm saying... that... whatever you're exactly feeling, Maud, you oughta find a way to address it. In a way that suits you! 'Cause I know what it's like to feel guilty over something you can't exactly 'fix,' and if those affected aren't holding a grudge, then you've not forgiven yourself. Believe me, I've felt that enough to know exactly what you're going through right now. It sucks."

"Yeah!" Trixie chimed in, sprawling over the now-trembling, gaping form of Starlight. "And Glimmy got over herself by defeating an entire changeling army!"

That was a tall order, so tall Maud felt her hooves leave the ground. "I don't think that's possible, now. For a number of reasons."

Starlight laughed warily before shoving Trixie off her. "Our Great and Powerful friend’s failed to mention the, ah, nuances of the situation." Trixie shrugged at the pointed glare tossed her way, and rolled her eyes at the emphasized 'I meant it' look from before.

Sighing politely, Starlight continued, "And that includes the fact that it wasn't the sole time I've gone through this. The key was patience in my experience—which I get the feeling won’t be an issue.” Maud shook her head in agreement. “Then take time to heal, right your wrongs in whatever way feel’s best. Only then can you start feeling better about yourself! At least in my experience," she coughed.

Maud was at a loss for words. Starlight's eyes widened, reading that negatively, "Not that I'm thinking up some underhanded way to get you to do things with me, or anything! Though, it'd be nice if we could be friends again, which is all I want, and-and..."

"Starlight." Maud shut her friend’s quivering lips. "Thank you. You always know what to say." That got her blushing. She had nothing to be embarrassed about.

"I wouldn't go that far..."

Of course not always. But when it mattered, she did. Maud died at the thoughts of saying something so sappy to her, though. "I've always liked that about you," she continued. "So if you'd like, I want to be your rock."

"My...?"

"Rock?" Trixie crowed, splayed on the grass still, absorbing the orange sky.

Maud's heart seized with embarrassment, pressured with enough force to render it a diamond. "Something to keep you grounded during this time. Supported. Something that will never leave your side, ever." A small, round rock began batting between her forehooves at some point during all that. Maud just found rocks sometimes. "Hello, little one." She inspected it, it was so much more interesting than whatever looks her friends wore now. "This sedimentary rock has been weathered and beaten by a tide for over a thousand years. Somepony brought it all the way from a breach and left it here." Maud picked it up and gave an experimental lick. Salty, but not acrid. "Chert and slate from the western coastline. Hm."

"Maud?"

"Yes?" She was almost afraid to look, but when she did Trixie just seemed disgruntled, lying upon her back, watching purple clouds drift by. While Starlight was... different. Usually, when Maud got embarrassed and started talking about rocks, Starlight tuned in and tried to follow, genuinely interested. Perhaps. The effort was always appreciated.

Now, though... "Was it too much?"

"No!" Starlight cried, shaking off her shock. "I mean, not at all, Maud. It wasn't! But... I'm just taken aback, is all. This’s a little unexpected, is all."

True. Maud wasn't a pony prone to internal changes. "The environment affects everything in its vicinity." The boulder by her hooves, grey and speckled pink, was testament to this. "Even me." Starlight smiled at the beach stone as she, too, seemed to arrive at the same conclusion. "If you'd like my help..."

"I do!" Starlight nodded. "Of course I do, Maud. If... you don't mind my drama, that is."

"Mm-mm." A shake of the head was all it took to engage in a hug as one (or for Starlight to begin it; Maud leaned in to her embrace). Her warmth seeped through Maud’s dress, her tightness firm, honest. She cared about Maud, who had the gall to doubt it.

"Yayyy," Trixie droned, "we're all friends again. What an unforeseen turn of events."

Starlight laughed into Maud’s shoulder. "Alright Trix, I hear ya.” They pulled away. “What's say we wrap up our magic training and get some dinner, huh? I'm famished!"

"Dinner's cool."

"I hunger for Pizza Castle!" Trixie cried.

Nopony had any objections. As a trio, the ponies scaled carefully down the hill, stars and fireflies steadily dotting the glowing picture of Ponyville before them. Before long the sun was beneath Equestria, and the moon high above Canterlot.

They'd spoken amicably, as if everything was normal like always. Maybe Maud was paranoid. But Trixie was clearly masking her feelings, for if Starlight knew of them...

It would be even worse than if Maud laid it all out there. Definitely. ‘Not that you’re any better, ya hypocrite.’ Maud ignored her pet, and decided to gently probe the youngest of their trio to get a sense of what wasn’t known.

"You're looking better." Trixie peeked from the corner of her sly gaze, smile thinning. Straining. She knew what Maud was talking about.

"A little spa date will do wonders for a pony's mood." Trixie demonstrated this by massaging her cheek. Weird. Maud didn’t mind in the slightest.

"Mm," grunted Starlight. "I’ll say it again: good call on our part. ‘Cause I was quite the sight, lemme tell ya!" Mane coiffed and silken, the moonlight gleamed off her fluffed coat. shimmering an outline along the curve of her back. "We were both pretty gnarly, come to think of it. Figured it was high time we cleaned ourselves up."

"Ugh!" Trixie bumped her flank into Starlight's. "Speak for yourself, carriage accident."

She thumped her back. "You smelled like an outhouse, filly."

"Did not!"

"Did so," said Maud. "Your wagon was pungent. I didn't say anything out of politeness, but... yeah."

Trixie flashed her with a glare of betrayal, a beat later spiraling into a cackling fit alongside Starlight like it was the good old days. Maud joined, too, on the inside.

So Starlight didn’t know anything she hadn’t heard prior from Twilight, most likely. Knowing Trixie she didn’t share more than what she was confronted with. It’d be best to nip this secret in the bud, now, avoid the potential drama and heartache later.

“Hey Maudie,” Trixie craned back, regarding her across Starlight as the entered Ponyville’s cobbled streets, “the Changeling Gourd Fest is coming at the end of the week. You want to join us?”

“Oh, gosh.” Starlight’s ears drooped. “This again?”

“Ah, quit being antisocial! It’ll be fun with the three of us, right Maud?”

No. Absolutely not. A party full of strangers? That was so far out of her comfort zone. But for Starlight… “It might be good. The Changelings are polite.”

“Aha! Two to one, we’re all going!”

“This isn’t a democracy,” said Starlight.

Maud added, “Nor was that an agreement.”

“Oh, come on!”

Starlight simply laughed, and Maud felt herself smiling.

Perhaps she really was just paranoid over nothing. Maybe Trixie didn’t lie, or didn’t presumed Starlight didn’t need to know her feelings now, at such a delicate stage.

Just as Starlight wouldn’t lie to her, either. From now on.

With time they’ll make it up to one another. It wouldn’t be easy and Maud would not be as helpful as her best friend would, but… Pinkie always told her it was the thought that stayed with friends.

The effort, regardless of the quality.

Maud was going to try and meet the standards set by Starlight, Pinkie, Twilight, and even Trixie.

Comments

[Hermaeus Xerxes]

You write Maud fantastically.

[TheApexSovereign]

9239112
It certainly seems that way, doesn't it? Magic being the obvious thing. Just keep reading ;)

9238831
Thank you! I tried

[zimmerwald1915]

9239333
It helps when there's an actual foundation to the relationship.

[sonicandmario826]

Real good chapter with the trio of friends.