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Man Stargazer Spike is a dragonn, who in his own mind lost everything. If you push him to far he may take drastic measuers or his instincts may take over. Either way there will be an investigation and then you and your friends will be royally fucked.
You know, it's pretty funny that those so-called coltfriends want to pretty much shove it into Spike's face that he doesn't have a special somepony by fucking each of their marefriends, and even in their tents, they probably want to show why Spike will never get that...and pretty loudly... I can't see neither Blueblood nor Mac getting into this
I'm seeing that pretty much everyone has a special somepony--except for Celestia and Luna, and we all can see that both of them have feelings for Spike that are more of a family nature. Hell, it even shows them as more Momlestia and Aunt Luna then possible lovers.
What I'm trying say is that it would be a pretty cool 'up yours' gesture to Stargazer and the others if one of the following happened: 1/ We find that Celestia and Luna, since they have no mates of their own, start courting Spike. Yes, it 's a bit queasy because of the possible incest vibes, but it would be pretty cool that Spike has the Royal Pony Sisters as his potential mates. And based on some of the events from the chapters, that could be a possibility. After all, nothing shows that Spike is a blood relative of either... 2/ Something similar to 1/, but have a Royal Dragon comes to Spike (and yes, if you wanted to use Ember as a possibilty, feel free).
I'm sorry, but... I'm not really feeling this. On the one hand, the conflict with the coltfriends looks very forced; on the other, I know what happened to Spike was very bad, but I think you're hamming the reactions up a bit too much. Twilight transforming into Rainbow Power form? Really? Really really?
I'd suggest toning that down a notch. I'd also suggest developing the antagonists more, but that ship might have already sailed. I mean, I know next to nothing about them other that they behave like cartoon bad guys. If that's what they are, fine, but how did they manage to get together with Twilight et al then? In fact, I don't even remember who of them is with whom because all they seem to do is be jerks towards Spike for the Evulz.
Also, can see a more political aspect? You know, since Spike is basically royalty this can pretty much be considered an act of war. With the dragons trying desperately so salvage the situation (especially after Spike saved Amethyst in the Everfree). Oh, Ember is gonna be pissed I'm sure.
Edit: I didn't remember Ember is not in this story.
7583313 What I don't get is that, out of the girls' boyfriends, only Twilight's boyfriend is well characterized... but all of the other boyfriends basically follow his lead in hating Spike, with no variation. The main six don't manage to find one toxic boyfriend, but five? What is wrong with their judgment that they would misjudge all five of them...
I was sorta hoping the others would be more reasonable than Twi's, really. Jealous of/threatened by Spike but not so much that they'd want to be cruel to him, for example.
7585613 Three. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are in a relationship with one another. Though I am worried the Crusaders' coltfriends (minus Button) could end up a similar way, seeing as they were mentioned not to be in favour of their girls smooching all over Spike and that appears to be the main indicator for somepony being actually bad.
This story is reaching gary stu levels of silliness. Stuff happens for silly reasons or no reason at all. You have one side composed by half the characters that love the shit out of spike and the other half simply hate him for a silly reason. And spike being "woe me, everyone love me" kind of character.
The story needs a serious rewrite or future chspters gotta be more professional.
Chapters 7 and 8 and are done (just needs to be proofread and edited) and just started on chapter 9. If all goes well (knowing my luck it doesn't ) all three should be up soon.
“I say we remind him who the girls belong to.” Stargazer suggested.
The other two looked at each other in a bit confusion before turning their gaze right back at Stargazer. “Remember the party at Sugarcube Corner?”
“What about it?” asked Pearl.
“Well, let’s just say while you guys were still dancing, Twilight and I went upstairs to and had a little“party”of our own.” he explained smugly.
“Okay....what does that have to do with our situation?” asked Dizzy.
“That dirty lizard saw us going upstairs, I made it known to him that Twilight was mine and that he could never make her happy the way I can.”
“You mean, you want us to bang our mares right in front of him?”asked Pearl.
“Ditto.”
“But how would we do that?”
“I think I’d know.” Dizzy spoke up. “Pinkie told me early this morning that she wanted to make the night of the meteor shower a camp out, so we’re all going to be in tents.”
“And that’s it.” Stargazer said. “As Rarity would say “at night beneath the stars in the arms of the stallions we love, it’s so romantic”they’d already be have way in the mood all we have to do is give our mares a little push.”
“What about the others?” asked Pearl.
“On a night like tomorrow how could they not get in the mood. And when we’re all inside our tents enjoying ourselves we let that little lizard that he’ll NEVER be able to please our mares....or any mare for that matter.”
All three of the coltfriends shared a good long laugh.
THAT’S IT!!! If no ones gonna get a shotgun out... THEN I WILL!!!!
Two chapter in one day i Love you!!
Man Stargazer Spike is a dragonn, who in his own mind lost everything. If you push him to far he may take drastic measuers or his instincts may take over. Either way there will be an investigation and then you and your friends will be royally fucked.
Stargazer im gona Bucking kill you sack of shit
their comeuppance will be sweet, sweet justice... and I can't wait for it...
You know, it's pretty funny that those so-called coltfriends want to pretty much shove it into Spike's face that he doesn't have a special somepony by fucking each of their marefriends, and even in their tents, they probably want to show why Spike will never get that...and pretty loudly... I can't see neither Blueblood nor Mac getting into this
I'm seeing that pretty much everyone has a special somepony--except for Celestia and Luna, and we all can see that both of them have feelings for Spike that are more of a family nature. Hell, it even shows them as more Momlestia and Aunt Luna then possible lovers.
What I'm trying say is that it would be a pretty cool 'up yours' gesture to Stargazer and the others if one of the following happened:
1/ We find that Celestia and Luna, since they have no mates of their own, start courting Spike. Yes, it 's a bit queasy because of the possible incest vibes, but it would be pretty cool that Spike has the Royal Pony Sisters as his potential mates. And based on some of the events from the chapters, that could be a possibility. After all, nothing shows that Spike is a blood relative of either...
2/ Something similar to 1/, but have a Royal Dragon comes to Spike (and yes, if you wanted to use Ember as a possibilty, feel free).
Sometimes you don't get mad, you get even...
I'm sorry, but... I'm not really feeling this. On the one hand, the conflict with the coltfriends looks very forced; on the other, I know what happened to Spike was very bad, but I think you're hamming the reactions up a bit too much. Twilight transforming into Rainbow Power form? Really? Really really?
I'd suggest toning that down a notch. I'd also suggest developing the antagonists more, but that ship might have already sailed. I mean, I know next to nothing about them other that they behave like cartoon bad guys. If that's what they are, fine, but how did they manage to get together with Twilight et al then? In fact, I don't even remember who of them is with whom because all they seem to do is be jerks towards Spike for the Evulz.
Retribution will be sweet.
Also, can see a more political aspect? You know, since Spike is basically royalty this can pretty much be considered an act of war. With the dragons trying desperately so salvage the situation (especially after Spike saved Amethyst in the Everfree). Oh, Ember is gonna be pissed I'm sure.
Edit: I didn't remember Ember is not in this story.
I must insist, that this story becomes more interesting.
first of all due to trauma amethyst. spike should develop a small dark side to stop being so Princeso.
for this I suguiero the aid of the chrysalis queen, as thorax is now part of the empire glass.
I also suguiero a small dark romance between Queen and spike chrysalis.
7583313
What I don't get is that, out of the girls' boyfriends, only Twilight's boyfriend is well characterized... but all of the other boyfriends basically follow his lead in hating Spike, with no variation. The main six don't manage to find one toxic boyfriend, but five? What is wrong with their judgment that they would misjudge all five of them...
I was sorta hoping the others would be more reasonable than Twi's, really. Jealous of/threatened by Spike but not so much that they'd want to be cruel to him, for example.
7585613
Three. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are in a relationship with one another. Though I am worried the Crusaders' coltfriends (minus Button) could end up a similar way, seeing as they were mentioned not to be in favour of their girls smooching all over Spike and that appears to be the main indicator for somepony being actually bad.
Man this is getting ridiculous.
Those guys are just dicks.
Seriously its getting to the point that i want them out of the story entirely ._.
7588129
There will be blood
This story is reaching gary stu levels of silliness. Stuff happens for silly reasons or no reason at all. You have one side composed by half the characters that love the shit out of spike and the other half simply hate him for a silly reason. And spike being "woe me, everyone love me" kind of character.
The story needs a serious rewrite or future chspters gotta be more professional.
Men I cant Wait for the next chapters I really like this fanfic when are the next chapters coming if i may ask
7628473
Chapters 7 and 8 and are done (just needs to be proofread and edited) and just started on chapter 9. If all goes well (knowing my luck it doesn't
) all three should be up soon.
7629915 ok thx for letting m know I lik ur stories
It's a breaking point!
This is why I hate cuckolding.
THAT’S IT!!! If no ones gonna get a shotgun out... THEN I WILL!!!!
*Gun Chocking*
9008322
Aye lad, if Nergal saw this shit he'd probably throw a crossed ace a hearts beneath their feet.
9008322
I'm joining and I'm bring two 12 gauge shotguns.
*guns cocking*
9501830
Hey man count me in
9557886
9008322
9501830
don't mind me, space marine with shotgun on the hunt...