Twilight groggily wandered the castle halls with a glass of orange juice, "So this is the mythic hangover I've heard so much about," she mumbled to herself. It had taken a concerted effort by Spike to get her out of bed in the first place but he took the whining and moaning in stride. Twilight didn't want to face the princesses alone so she'd decided to get Sunrise up so they could go together.
When she got close to her sister's room she heard a scream echo through the halls. "Oh no!" Her juice clattered onto the floor as she ran. "Sunrise!"
"Yes! Yes! Right there! No, not there you fucking dolt! Ah!"
"S-Sunrise?" Twilight stared at the door to her sister's room. Horror spread through her as her mind slowly began to piece together what was happening.
"Hey! Keep that armor on! I don't want to see your face! Ah!"
"W-wha?"
"But you let me take it off earlier and it's uncomfortable."
"Ah! It's supposed to be! It keeps you at attention, and I want you at attention, colt!"
"Y-yes miss."
"That's Mistress Athena to you, worm!"
"Yes Mistress Athena!"
"Ah! Oh god!"
Twilight's brain began to fizzle and pop. Her hair curled up. She'd had just about enough of this. "Sunrise! What are you doing in there!"
"Oh shit." The alicorn heard a continuous stream of muffled swearing. "Get off me, you fuckwit!" There was a clatter and a crash. "Jesus Christ, could you be more useless?"
"Sorry, Mistress Athena..."
"How long have you been standing out there, Twilight?"
"Long enough!" She shouted at the door.
"Hold on!" Twilight was treated to the sounds of more muffled swearing and frantic hoofsteps which lead around the room until they stopped at the door. The alicorn heard muffled speaking, but couldn't make out the words. "Okay, Sunrise, no need to panic," she whispered to herself, "No need to be embarrassed or ashamed, just suppress it. Remember, all you need to do to counter shame is to be blase. Pretend it's normal, and eventually, everyone will pretend with you." With her pep talk done, Sunrise opened the door in a robe. "Could you not tell I'm busy?" she said through a strained smile.
"Th-there's- it-it's in your h-hair," Twilight stuttered out.
Sunrise glanced upwards and saw it. Be blase, she repeated to herself as a mantra, "Well I needed a shower anyway," she said.
"W-what are you doing!" Twilight stuttered out.
Sunrise took a moment to consider, "Do we, uh, need to have the talk or something?"
"You know that's not what I meant!" Twilight's face had turned from being red with embarrassment to being red with anger.
Sunrise rolled her eyes. "Er. Well, I was getting laid."
"But why?!" Twilight shouted, "You're not even a week old!"
"What, do you want me to wait eighteen years? I'll be an old maid by then," Sunrise said before she could stop herself.
"You're a week old!" A stallion yelled from inside the room.
Sunrise glared at nothing for a moment before turning back to her room to yell, "Shut the buck up, sub, and while you shutting up get me a venti mocha frappuccino with soy, two shots espresso, two shots irish. Stat!" She ruffled a hoof through her hair, the clean side of her hair, and turned back to Twilight, "Want anything, hun?"
"Er."
She turned back to yell into the room, "Make that two, second with half a shot irish! And use the servants entrance like the slave you are! Oh, and fetch the maids to clean up while I'm in the shower!" She stared at the room for a second. "What are you standing around for?! I gave you an order, soldier!"
The sounds of clattering and scrambling echoed out from the room, and then a door slammed shut.*
"You really shouldn't treat the guards that way... Or..." She glanced at her hair.
"Nah, it's okay. They like it."
Twilight looked skeptical.
"Really, I promise."
Twilight let out a long angry breath. "I just can't believe you'd throw away your virginity like that. How are you going to get married?"
"Twi, I didn't throw away--"
"That's right! You practically shot it out of a cannon!" Twilight said in exasperation.
Sunrise chuckled, "Well, I figured the best way to learn to swim is to jump right in." And I wanted to dive right passed the gender crisis while I was plastered because I just can't handle it right now. Better to just get used to the new equipment without the melodramatics, and drink away the anxiety.
"But you could drown!"
The mare winked, "Not if you've got a couple lifeguards."
"A-a-a couple?!"
"I'mma clean up," she laughed, "Give me ten minutes." She closed the door and mumbled to herself, "That went about as well as I could have hoped."
*When the guards went through the servant's entrance they found a small crowd of concerned maids and servants. They tried their best to look proud of themselves.
When a maid came to give Twilight her coffee she found her sitting on the floor with her head in her hooves. "Are you okay, Princess?"
She groaned. "My sister's a slut..."
"Now, now, don't say that about your sister. Just drink your fancy coffee, and you'll feel better."
And she did, a bit.
Twilight ignored the sound of her sister's door opening. "Hey, sweet thing, you okay?"
"No," she said, looking at the coffee cup held in her hooves. There was a note of a weird taste she recognized but couldn't put her hoof on it.
"You wanna talk?" Sunrise asked with concern plain in her voice.
"No," Twilight said sullenly.
"Okay, well why don't we head to breakfast?" Sunrise said like she was coaxing a bunny to come out of its burrow.
Twilight didn't say anything but followed along anyway. After a while she finally spoke, "Just... why?"
Sunrise took some time to consider how she'd get out of this. "Well, sis, why do you think Celestia keeps around such a large royal guard? I mean, they haven't proved very useful in the past, and we have a competent military."
"It's the first step on the military career path," Twilight said, entering lecture mode, where she felt safest. "After a pony finishes officer school they gets stationed at the castle as a guard. From there, they'll get assigned to a section in the military. Celestia says she likes to have all the officers bond on assignment here so all the military branches are more cooperative with each other."
"Sure, okay, but why not have them bond in school, or on a harder assignment? Why at the castle? All the other countries treat being a royal guard as an honor you obtain after a long period of service, and they have a much better royal guard because of it."
"I don't know. Maybe it's because they need a good guard to protect their monarchies, but the princesses don't really need protection."
"Wanna know what I think?" Sunrise whispered conspiratorially, "Celestia hasn't had a public relationship for centuries, but she's still a mare. A mare with needs. And with all these young, well trained stallions at her beck and call. Well..."
Twilight looked at her twin aghast, "You don't think..."
Sunrise giggled, "I think a little bit, maybe."
"Golly," Twilight said with a blush.
"I really need to teach you how to swear."
"I don't care if she's your student's sister! The little hussie is responsible for this somehow, I just know it."
"Now Luna..."
Twilight's nerves were acting up again. She looked over at her twin and saw a dark smile. She also noticed that she was wearing her hair in a ponytail. I guess she's still trying to differentiate herself, she thought. "Should we..."
"No, follow my lead, and remember if we pretend nothing happened, it didn't. And if there's any suspicion it'll be towards me, they'd never suspect you. Most importantly, even if they outright accuse you, just deny it because without proof a denial carries more weight than an accusation."
Twilight nodded. Her tightened muscles relaxed a bit.
"I'm just not going to stand for it!" Luna yelled.
"That's our cue." Sunrise threw open the doors and trotted through with a confident stride, sipping on her coffee. "Good morning, Princesses."
"Ah Sunrise, you look well. And Twilight, you look... like you could use some more sleep." Celestia said in her customary morning warmness. "Did you two have a nice night out?"
"We did, thank you," Sunrise said while her twin mumbled something to the affirmative.
"So we heard," Luna said sardonically.
"Oh? Are you implying something, Princess?" Sunrise quirked her eyebrow and held her smile.
"In fact we are, take a seat," Luna kept her glare on the mare took as she sat down.
"Wonderful, I'm always up for a nice chat. But first, may we order? I'm famished from all the... walking around the city."
"Oh, I'm sure you did plenty of getting around," Luna said darkly.
"Luna, that's enough," Celestia smiled calmly. She rung a little bell and a waiter come out to take their orders.
Twilight got three hayburgers. Sunrise got 'a mocho loco, soy beef patty, let it swim, with soy ham, peas, and carrots in the rice, make sure that's fried rice, the eggs very over easy, and a side of pineapple. Oh and orange juice and coffee, black, breakfast roast.'* At first Twilight had found her sister's habit of making complicated orders without pausing to give the staff time to get all of it down annoying and snooty but she was starting to see it as endearing, though still snooty. She wasn't sure if she was really being snobby about her food or if she was playing some kind of game. Being a mare of simple tastes, she didn't really get it.
*She'd had to explain exactly what a mocho loco was after ordering it.
"Now then," Luna said with a growl, "we need to have a talk about your behavior."
"Alright, say your piece," Sunrise said, girding herself.
"It is simply unacceptable for you to be cavorting with the guards in such a manner! How you believe you can demand the title of princess and then behave no better than a common harlot-"
"Luna, that's enough," Celestia interrupted.
"Quite enough, I'd say," Sunrise jumped in as quick as she could without exposing herself to the accusation of interrupting the highest authority in the land. She tried to summon all the pride she had in her heart.* "I was expecting some, perhaps, harsh words, but I wasn't expecting to be insulted. And especially to be called common, of all things. I thought we'd already agreed I was a mare of high status," she smirked and flicked her ponytail with a hoof, taking an indignant poise. I like the hair flip, she thought, I may have to keep the ponytail. But I need to do something about these nerd bangs.
*It was a lot.
"Why you little-!"
"Luna," Celestia said firmly.
"Besides," Sunrise jumped in again before Celestia, who felt like she was rapidly losing control of this conversation, could get any steam, "isn't there something else you'd like to talk about? Or is this all just a delaying tactic?"
"Speak plainly, mare," Luna glared at comparatively little mare.
"Oh, did you think I forgot our little wager?" Sunrise held herself confident and smug against the imposing alicorn's evil eye. "I heard a rumor from... the staff that a certain form of graffiti was found, yes?"
"I know damn well it was you!" Luna shouted as she slammed her hooves on the table top.
"Luna!" Celestia cut in trying to wrestle some control. "Watch your language."
"But she's the one who vandalized that bridge!" Luna said with a petulance that often creeped into her tone when speaking with her sister, "There's no other possibility. That sort of graffiti has never appeared before but the moment she makes that bet it appears."
Sunrise looked to be surreally calm. Twilight was about ready to shake off her seat. "Another explanation is that the staff heard the phrase and it got passed along until some hoodlum heard it and thought it was funny. Furthermore if you're going to make an accusation to besmirch the illustrious reputation," she went for the hair flip again, "of a princess such as myself you'd better have some hard evidence. You wouldn't like to start a precedent, would you?"
"Oh, I have evidence," Luna smiled darkly, "Spike confessed."
"Luna..." Celestia sighed.
Twilight went pale and rigid. Sunrise maintained her calm. "Did he really? A child confessed to an angry alicorn more than four times his size? And without Twilight present? Please, what child wouldn't confess to anything under those circumstances. I could get that confession thrown out in an instant. And I'm sure the tabloids would love to print some exaggerated headline about that detail." She laughed, "As well as the entire incident being bait for the media. Here's what I think happened, when Spike didn't say anything you got emotional and scared the poor drake and he babbled something to appease you."
At this point Luna just about had steam coming out of her ears, "How dare you, you little-"
"Enough!" Celestia cut in, "I've had just about enough of this and I'm not going to sit here while you two argue over a silly wager. Now speak civilly with each other."
"Thank you, Princess."
"And stop provoking her, Sunrise, I know what you're doing."
"Yes, Princess," the unicorn said in the tone of a scolded child, her control of the conversation over.
"Where is Spike, by the way?" Twilight asked. She'd been content to stay silent, or rather, she didn't want to get pulled in, but her concern for Spike was greater than her fear of being trapped in this particular conversation.
"I sent him to the kitchen to help with the chefs and to pick out a few gems for dessert after Luna's questioning... became distasteful to me." Celestia let out a long sigh. "Now then, I can see that this is an issue we'll have to deal with in its entirety. What were the terms of this wager?"
Luna simply glared.
"What I said precisely was, 'I'm willing to bet Twilight's bottom bit that graffiti can be found that says just that,' as we all know, that graffiti was found."
"Oh, Luna, you didn't..." Celestia looked disappointed.
Luna didn't meet her gaze.
"Wait did you say you bet Twilight's bottom bit?" Celestia said, her brain having just parsed the entirety of the sentence.
"Yes, that's right. No one disputed that phrasing, particularly Twilight, which, I believe, constitutes consent. However if that's not enough, I believe I can get Twilight's assent now."
"Luna, how could you take such a foolish wager?"
"I will admit that I rushed into it without doing my due diligence," Luna said through clenched teeth.
"Twilight doesn't even have much money," Celestia sighed, "Sunrise, are you going to be pursuing my sister's 'bottom bit.'"
"I wouldn't dream of it. Considering that Luna could dispute whether 'Twilight's bottom bit' means as much property as Twilight owns or 'Luna's bottom bit', I'd like to settle. After all we'd have to get a judge and seeing as all the royalty of Equestria would have a conflict of interest we'd have to use the court system. From there it'd look bad to use any court but the highest in the land, not to mention look bad in general, and we really shouldn't be abusing the court's time over a wager."
"Well reasoned," Celestia said, "What do you propose?"
"Yes," Luna said, "How much do you intend to pillage me of?"
"Oh, it's not a matter of how much," Sunrise couldn't help but let a dark smile slip onto her face, "It's a matter of what. I want the bar."
"You. Want. What." Luna said through grinding teeth.
"You heard me. I want 'The Lunatic' bar and all associated property and business. I know you own it. I looked it up."
"Absolutely not. That establishment is precious to me."
"And you'll be welcome to visit. But I won't take anything less," Sunrise said firmly.
"I refuse."
"Then I'll have to purse your 'bottom bit,' regardless of whether or not I want to. You stand to lose a lot more than just the bar," Sunrise finished in a sympathetic tone.
Luna growled but she didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry, Princess, but I need it and I'm willing to drag you through open court and a media circus to get it," Sunrise said softly.
Luna looked stricken. She knew what a being dragged through the papers could do to her still recovering public image. "But... it's special to me... I founded that bar in the Everfree castle and after my banishment Tia transferred it, brick by brick, to Canterlot. I was so happy to see it when I got back..." she said glumly.
"I know it's special to you," Sunrise said with a sad smile, "and I'm sorry to take it but I really do need it. And it's not like you'll lose it forever. I'm not immortal after all and I may be able to give it back while I'm still alive."
Celestia sighed, "Why do you need the bar, Sunrise."
Sunrise took a deep breath and ran through the gist of the speech she'd prepared. "Well, Princess, I've been given a lot and I feel very blessed. I don't want to live idly on my luxury like, well, like Prince Blueblood, I want to do good for Canterlot and for Equestria. But in order to do that I need a power base. That starts with the bar. Forgetting the bits it brings in, it has an established clientele of not just the military but of Canterlot's nobles, and even some of her head bureaucrats. It's the perfect place to establish a network," she took a moment to think. "My sister has been gifted so much by Harmony, well deserved, of course, and she's been able to do good for Equestria without getting involved in the messy business of politics. But Harmony has already given me life itself, I don't expect to be getting any more help without working to deserve it. I want to help Equestria, and to deserve my status, like Twilight." She looked over at her sister, who was starting to get tearful, and smiled warmly. While that was all basically true, sort of, she was really glad she'd taken that political science course in college and the professor had made them read Alinsky (and that she'd been interested enough to read Machiavelli on her own time). Rule 10: you do what you can with what you have and clothe it with moral garments, she reaffirmed to herself.
"That's so sweet," Twilight said. She pulled her into a tight hug.
Repress the guilt. Repress the guilt. Repress the guilt, Sunrise repeated to herself as she was squished against Twilight's warm body.
When the hug was done Celestia gave the unicorn a look. She'd been hopeful about Sunrise's potential to be a virtuous pony, but remained cautious. Now, with that speech, she was confident that the mare was going to be a problem. She knew Twilight was too naive to see through such an obvious attempt at manipulation but surely Luna hadn't been out of the game for so long that she'd forgotten what mares like Sunrise sounded like? She turned to her sister, "Well, Luna? What do you say?"
She stared at the table for a long moment. "Alright... You can have the bar."
There were only a few times that Celestia could honestly say that she was more disappointed in her sister than now.
Sunrise figured it was a good idea to keep the sentimental trend going so she got out of her chair, walked over to Luna, and gave her a big hug. "Thank you, Luna. You have no idea what this means to me."
"Now, now," the princess patted the smaller mare on the back awkwardly, "that's enough of that."
When Sunrise got back in her seat, Celestia said in a blank tone, "I think the other matter can wait until after we eat." Already a plan was forming in her mind, hopefully Luna would play along. She rang her little bell and the waitstaff came out, almost immediately, with a push cart for each mare, as well as one more on which Spike was standing in an over-sized chef's hat, holding up a mixing spoon like a sword.
"Greetingz fair mai-dons, I come viz la geefts," Spike said in a really bad Prench accent, "Ve ave..." He went through all the dishes and when he finished he took a bow. They all applauded his performance. He joined in for the meal with a bowl of gems and shared the light conversation. When they'd finished and the table was cleared Celestia tactfully suggested he go check out the new Maroccan fire iguana that'd been recently added to the garden.
"Alright, onto the next piece of business of the morning," Celestia said, "Do you have an explanation for your... indecent behavior?"
"Yes... We put a sound proofing spell on the room but it stopped working by the morning..." Sunrise said, poking her hooves together.
"And why, pray tell, did you assume it would still be working?" Luna asked.
"Well... I mean..." Sunrise took a deep breath to help suppress her emotions. "I don't know much about magic."
"I see..." Celestia said, "I was referring to the way you've conducted yourself, not the indiscreet manner in which you did so."
"What, uh, what do you mean?"
"What she means, Sunrise, is that you can't be fornicating the guards. Or anypony," Luna said bluntly.
"Not if you want any position in the nobility," Celestia added firmly.
"What!" Sunrise shouted, "What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Calm thyself," Luna said in an authoritative tone. She glanced at her sister, about to correct her sister on her severe words but she was silenced by a harsh look from Celestia.
Sunrise realized that she was standing up with her hooves pressed down against the table. She sat back down and took a few deep breaths. Twilight placed her hoof on her's in a gesture of sympathy.
"What," she said slowly, "exactly do you mean by that?"
"I mean that if you want to be a princess then you can't behave like you have and you certainly can't let the public hear about it. I simply cannot allow the reputation of the Equestrian royalty be damaged because the press got wind of your actions. If they print one article, then I'm sorry but you just can't be a princess," Celestia said. Being the consummate chess master, she knew how to set the field so that her opponent would lose no matter what they did. And if worst came to worst a small push is all she'd need to ensure victory. You will not get that crown, mare!
Sunrise sat stock still. She's going to make sure I end up working for a living like some filthy peasant. God damn that mare! She stood up and said, "Well then, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do." She gave her goodbyes cordially and walked out of the dining room. I will get that crown!
Sunrise paced around her room with her mind spinning out of control. Her emotions were a storm that even she couldn't parse but she knew rage was in there somewhere. After nearly two hours of this she calmed down enough to realize she was getting cabin fever. She figured now was as good a time as any to start that jogging regimen she'd been considering. People did say that running helped you think.
She went to the training field where some of the guard were being put through their paces. She got advice on proper form and how to stretch from a drill sergeant, Rock Hoofstrong. Being the sort to never pass up an opportunity to ingratiate herself to someone, she complimented his mustache.
She set off onto the track in the gym shorts and t-shirt she'd got a maid to raid from the equipment storage room and set off with a book on social norms, 'The Lady's Guide to High Society,' levitated in front of her.
If only I knew what a huge deal the ponies made of sex... she grumbled to herself.
She got a few looks from the guards but she ignored them until one of them snickered and said in a voice he probably assumed she couldn't hear, "A little late for that, isn't it?"
Sunrise turned to him and smirked, "Oh, honey, I'm just gettin' started."
Wait. Is Sunrise a unicorn or an alicorn?
That Twihuman has more teeth than any of her analogues. Continue.
I think you meant peas
As long as her thirst for power not lead her to genocide and/or assassinations of members of the family and monarchie (she will be have influence but she don't lose her morality....most of this),I don't mind it.This is why I hope author don't have any plan to change her into ruthless dictator/overlord.
*shrugs* Equestria needs a shake-up, and pretty badly at that. It'll be fun watching what Athena gets up to. Also, Celestia is being a bit of a bitch here, after all, she lets Blueblood mooch out of the royal coffers.
7981545
Unicorn, for... some reason.
7981545
Sunrise is the pre-alicorn Twilight-clone with a cunning worthy of Ferris Bueller. Also, I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping Sunrise from taking over is Celestia.
I do feel bad that Luna lost her bar to Sunrise but as she admitted herself, she's only mortal so Luna will get it back, eventually. Er, assuming Luna doesn't strangle Sunrise with her bare hooves before that.
Ooohh... i think Celly will soon meet her "doom" that comes from Sunrise knowing a few things Celly wants to hide
7981545 she's a unicorn
I am amused
I dunno what happened, but in the 4th chapter my appeal toward sunrise kinda dropped, she went from manipulating quirky to something else...
Still interesting though.
Dayym!
Ehh, I'm gonna bow out here. Sunrise is a completely sociopathic power-hungry manipulative absolute bitch. I hate her.
She doesn't need the bar, she just wants power. It's extremely important to Luna and Celestia sentimentally (hell Celestia transferred it brick-by-brick to Canterlot and kept it as-is for 1,000 years so she could give it back to Luna when she returned) and I doubt she's going to just accept aging and dying so the line about her getting it back "eventually" is BS.
I was fine with her being kind of a jerk and such but she's just plain evil and/or insane.
All of her inner-monologue and thoughts are solely focused on manipulating those around her and gaining power through any means necessary.
Thankfully Celestia's realized what kind of monster she is now so here's hoping she gets taught a lesson/smacked down hard by the millennia-old God-ruler (since, y'know, that much experience of actually ruling should by all rights crush a displaced human-turned-unicorn who took a political science course or two and read Machiavelli. Particularly since Celestia knows her game now and sees her as an actively-hostile political opponent instead of a weirdo she's been tolerating.)
7981633 Blueblood was acting as a jackass towards Rarity at the gala... but so what? While him being that way all the time is a possibility, he could've acted that way because (let's be honest) Rarity was behaving like a gold digger. Either answer could be true as, really, we've never seen anything from him besides a few background appearances since the gala. As Rarity kept saying in episodes prior to that, he is handsome, rich, and has big Canterlot connections/status (meaning when she gets him to fall "madly in love with her and propose to her on the spot" she will have that too). Which means he probably has had tons of mares snarling after him for purely selfish reasons. Now here comes some white coated, purple maned mare he's never seen before acting all goo-goo eyed and behaving as if she knows him, and it's no wonder he behaved that way. But like I said, we don't know which is correct because he only had one episode where he had speaking lines, so either/or could be true (and why I don't bat an eye either way with which one of those an author might run with).
And of course Celestia is going to act like a bitch... whatever keeps a sociopath from gaining any real power. And that's exactly what Sunrise is turning out to be: a narcissistic sociopath. Everything she does is for her own selfish reasons, nothing more or less. I liked her in the first chapter but sadly for me she's devolved from a strange/quirky yet fun character to one I wouldn't mind seeing being shot out of a cannon into the sun. I don't dislike the story, but I am starting to hate the character it is mostly focusing on.
I see what you did there. Nice chapter name. I would definitely say it snugly fits in story's plot.
Also. I don't know why so much negativity.
All hail our purple gray overlord!
Personally I find her pursuit of “shadow government“ or at least spy network noble.
Because it certainly does perpendicular with standard equestrian mindset and provides many benefits. And its unexpected, because if anyone thinks about “behind the scenes“ - they think about Sunbutt. Double cover, YEAH!
7981762 On the other hand, that is the exact reason why I like the story. Can't say I've seen it done effectively here before, so it's interesting.
7981762 I get that. Sunrise is probably the worst character I've ever written. Ironically this is the lightest story I've published. If you decide to give it another go then you can be content that the story wont ever get a dark tag. Good will win out in the end, at least some form of good. I'm not yet sure if Sunrise will change or if she'll fail in her ambitions but she's not going to turn Equestria into a hellscape or go around wrecking lives.
7981620 As much as Sunrise may fantasize about being an evil overlord (she did read the manual) she'd have quite a few noble-hearted opponents standing in her way. So don't worry, we won't be adding a dark tag.
7981807 I'm sure Harmony brought her here for a reason.
7981815
Yeah, the writings good. I just have been given no reason/justification for her being evil, so I just actively hate/despise her. That is something that has a place in many stories but there's no buildup or slow descent into evil through good intent, just her waking up and being a complete asshole (which also has a place in many stories, eg: jerk with a heart of gold, benign sociopaths, etc. but this just develops into being plain evil.)
I'm not invested enough in the character/story to tolerate the sheer assholeishness of their existence, motives, thoughts, or actions.
Again, just not for me I fear.
7981633 That's because Blueblood is a harmless twit!
Sorry this is just too crazy for me. this isn't comedy
Will this be elaborated in-story? Is it some puritan way of thinking or about love and how intimate an act it is, etc?
About the orgy, well, (s)he did state it was done under influence and with the objective to get used to the gender change... but did his orientation change, or was he into guys/both as a human too? Not that much relevant to the story, but I did get curious.
Huh, this was certainly a change of tone. Not sure how much of it is just for the sake of power, though. Why does she want a crown so badly? Just to avoid working in a lower position? Not to be pushed to the side and forgotten? Or to have a quest to fill the "what now?" hole she got in the form of her new life without his friends and family?
TL;DR MOAR!!!
Edit:
7981920
Even though I'll keep reading it, this did bring something to mind. Why the sudden tone change? Until last chapter she was a quirky HiE trying to get by having a weird mindset (for ponies) but that actually liked Twilight and had some good intentions - getting the bar was a step for power, yes, but in her thoughts (as far as I remember) her intention was to be useful and justify her position.
Did something actually happen or was she like this from the beginning? I gotta say I'm doubtful now.
If this does go down the path of a mad mare doing just insane/evil things then i don't think i will like it. Though that's just a personal thing, nothing on the story itself.
7981926
In my interpretation of the previous chapters, she's always been that way. Don't understand why so many people seem to be getting put off by what's been obvious to me.
7982039 has the right idea, and the author has already started:
Been watching this with the track function, but I gotta say I've hit my limit. This "Sunrise" has just been a rather unlikable character since the beginning, but at first I thought it was just a reaction to the whole "changed body/species/gender/reality" thing, but now it just seems like the person inside is made up of lies, deceit, and manipulation.
An unsympathetic character to say the least, and when the PROTAGONIST is unsympathetic, well... Gotta thumbs down.
Now watch all the fanboys thumb this comment down for daring to not tow the line.
Best of luck with the story, but I cannot abide it.
.. Sorry, I will leave this.
Cancel tracking.
Iz good story, yes?
7982122 They aren't thumbing down the comment because you disagree with their views on the fic, they're doing it because you directly attacked the people who happen to actually enjoy this fic.
I am giving you a thumbs down on the principal that I dislike people who verbally (writtenly?) attack people under the false assumption that they will attack them for their opinion. Good job being a high-and-mighty asshole.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
21:40_2/26/2017
7982083 I believe it's because the guy jumping from the plane did nothing to even hint at being a sociopath, manipulative bastard or anything like that. In his thoughts he even mentions trying not to think too hard at the changes or something like that. Opportunistic? Maybe. But not someone that disregards other's feelings. Indeed, the fact that he was struggling with guilt over the "being useful" spiel when Twilight hugged him points much more towards some highly aberrant behavior for the personality or some mind whammy shenanigans. Or just cultural dissociation, there are some families that raise some messed up kids that not necessarily act the way they feel.
Oh, and a pure and simple sociopath that just wants an easy life is an extremely weak character that would ruin this story, based on what he did already.
So yeah, either there's more to him than that or EveningShadows just derped hard
7982339 Well yeah, I kind of threw out any ideas about his personality after that because, aside from not really getting to know him that well, that's a really traumatic experience and his personality changed either by magical or physical force and/or a disassociation from his previous life and current sense of reality. This is all just a game to him, not quite real. Kind of like Groundhog Day after a few loops. So, if he's a little renegade, that's just part of the game to him. If these ponies are just part of some weird dream, do their feelings even matter?
I mean, if you fell to certain death and suddenly found yourself a purple unicorn from a cartoon show, would you act the same? Not likely.
Isn't that supposed to be a hint that something did change? A lot even? (purple horse ) I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but still.
7982311 to be fair it happens on some popular fics, and negative situations are more widely talked about.
I am now sold on this parody. Please continue.
I was honestly expecting the sex part to be a joke and that they were only making the noises of sex and that twilight would be embarrassed that she assumed the worst.
Then you made it actual sex...
Dunno how to feel about this
I aprove, pushforward with due hast
Okk...so ..ITS not Seinfeld in pony form KINDA BUT the humor is sorta like that..BUT its also a ... world domination scetchBUT its still kinda light hearted..I ThInK
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL ANY MORE MAN!
GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER!
in all seriousness tho this is good just dont tire youre self out with exorbitant amounts of politacal drama and introspection. It only leads too bad feels man
7981870 Fair enough and reassuring, I may come back at some point to see how it all develops but at the moment I'm not in the right headspace/Sunrise rubs me the wrong way.
I do like the story, premise, and writing. I just hate Sunrise, but I'll keep this on my tracking list since as you say it is a comedy and Sunrise won't be ruling over a hellscape after murdering her way to the top. So I'll peek in every once in a while to see if she's changed/improved.
PS: if this is what you as the author want for this story/character, disregard myself and others who dislike it. Write the story you want to write. You can't please everyone and this story is plainly exactly what some people want. With that in mind; strive to improve as an author, don't be stubborn when something is a bad idea, accept and use criticism.
(Re-reading the last bit it sounds kinda of passive-aggressive. Like I'm saying "don't change (but this is horrible changeitchangeit etc.)" To attempt to clarify: I mean the first bit of the PS literally and specifically regarding this story, the second bit is meant more in general to not go overboard with the first part.)
(I could not figure out how to word it better but it is midnight so I'm off to bed.)
i'm really disappointed Celestia didn't stand up and tell her off. Best princess indeed.
7982812
And just reminded me that Bill Paxton died... I am sad now.
I absolutely LOVED the first chapter, but since then, for me, it's been on a terminal velocity plunge into the ground, with this chapter being the final impact.
...which is weirdly appropriate, now that I think about the main character's situation.
I think Luna and Celestia actually are amused and want to make her princess just to see what happens. Celestia knows that only that kind of threats will help Sunrise to not screw up.
EDIT: She'll make proper lady out of her. For Celestia that's a godsend version of Twilight, she can dump political work on her.
EDIT2: People are concerned that Sunrise would be just dumped in ponyville, but Celestia isn't monarch, she's more meritocrat. Sudden unicorn with talents is what she needs. I bet she was a partially disappointed in original Twilight when she sent her to Ponyville, "its not Canterlot material".
... I get the feeling that by the time she's through, Canterlot, and possibly even Equestria as a whole, will have its views on sex changed dramatically.
There's quite a few people commenting on how they quit this story. I personally liked all chapter up until now. The sex part certainly was surprising, since such situations normally lead to a 'It's not what it looks like!' moment. But to take a different direction is certainly interesting. Sunrise is a rather manipulative character and that is what makes her interesting in my opinion. It makes me wonder where her path will lead her and how she will be reformed in the end. Having a jerk as protagonist isn't necessarily a bad thing after all!
Honestly I'm even on Sunrise side after Celestia just said to her that sex equals a life without a noble title. At least that's what it sounded like to me. And I can understand if Sunrise is peeved after this. I only hoped she would ask Celestia about her own sex drive and her assumptions about the guard.
Weeeeeeeeellll thhheeeeeeeeeen........
7983181 I'm actually interested in the answer that question would garner(is that even the right word? XD).
7981920
What elements of comedy is it missing? Please, I'd like to know and I value your opinion. It's definitely satire, insult, and parody. There is an element of tragedy and Sunrise is definitely a fool. I would have preferred if the author kept with the Hitchiker's guide references after the homage in the first chapter having her/ him behaving somewhere along the lines of Trillian or Ford Perfect than being reminded he was some man with brain damage. And, I probably would have preferred her villainy if she stuck to the Neil Zawaki handbook or patterned herself after the Joker, instead of the philosophy of Machiavelli. The story is inherently Kafkaesque based on theme alone so power, politics, and law were bound to be involved anyway.
However, I still have hope the character will be more like Zonker Harris the former football star and war correspondent turned medical school dropout when he won the lottery. But, the character as he was before he attended business school when he lost all his money buying peerage and becoming the Deputy Governor of Samoa... I understand he currently has a comfortable life, Albiet with skin cancer, as an Au'pair for Captain America's daughter, and a side business where he sells medical marijuana while living off the residual checks he earned from his modeling career.
I like this scheming, loud-mouthed twin to Twilight. I feel like we've only just gotten started and I can't wait to see what's next.
In Lunas position, i would just blast this "Twin" literally to pieces right in front of Celestia, then get a drink or two, and then go on a looooooooooooooongggggggggg vacation on the moon (i would take my staff and guard with me) before Celestia can think of blasting me to the moon, again.
7983380 I hust don't find it funny, at first yes but with these last chapters no. Funny is to me My Secret Life as an Evil Insect OVerlord and it's sequel, Snails 1/2, Five Score Velvet Nightfall. THose are funny. This isn't anymore.
7981870
What is to be will be, even if she c fall I'll stil read it, although at the same time I would preferred if she can found her place in the world and in her family without losing a morality, a character similar to antihero aka: she may be manipulating as long as she does it in good faith and to helps her family and country (and do it without hiding [most of] her action before members of family, friends and princesses)
7984048
So, would you say the tonal incongruity/inconsistency is the problem or the main character? Technically these are the things I'm disturbed by and concerned with.
Although I'm sure we have different perspectives. I'm not well practiced at laddering questions so I don't really know how to ask or get to what it is that you don't like about it even with direct questioning at the moment. If you don't want to share or hurt the authors feelings then maybe there's some other way to divulge the information than fan-fiction recommendations.
I'm not particularly fond of certain forms of deviant scatological humor or squiky humor, but I can appreciate it better when it's accompanied by some philosophical or reasoned component. For instance, I think fart jokes can be done more intelligently than they already are, and can be enjoyed by all age groups and intellectual levels if done right. But, I wouldn't go out of my way to keep tooting my horn or continue eating beans just because I know it can be done.
7985246 Primarily the main character. Just a week there and doing all of this, no just no. What she is doing right now just isn't funny to me.
As far as I'm concerned, the show already soundly disproved the "Celestia is a master chess player" cliche with the Glimmer Time-Travel episodes. If she were some sort of "Master of the Long Game" genius, she wouldn't have failed Equestria, like, five times just because some random event out of her control didn't happen just so.
Sure, she had some success in some of those timelines, Like she saved Luna before losing to Discord in one, but she still wasn't able to save the day consistently without Twilight and Company doing the heavy lifting.
I actually had to look what isekai means. Damn you kids and your newfangled terms
Reading about how Celestia is taking precautions... that was just so incredibly satisfying!