The New Girl
Twilight stayed silent through the train ride to Canterlot. Spike had tried to have a conversation with her but eventually he gave up and took a nap. All she could think about was the letter she'd gotten from Celestia. Her copy had woken up after sleeping for two days. She'd apparently demanded a giant mirror and spent her time admiring herself and prancing about until the princesses had interrupted her. Weird. Weird. Weird. This whole thing is just too weird.
Her mentor said her copy started calling herself Athena Sparkle after learning how she'd been.. created. Such a weird name. Thankfully Celestia had been able to convince her to take 'Athena' as a middle name and pick a normal pony name as her first. She'd gone with 'Sunrise' but only begrudgingly. That wasn't the worst of it. She'd been calling herself a princess, and reminding everypony below her station of her title if they forgot it. Celestia and Luna had objected at first but had apparently been out-argued by Sunrise. Something about being her twin and therefore a member of the royal family.* The sisters had lost the argument so badly to the new mare that she ended up with a royal stipend, an expense account and her own personal guard squad just so she'd stop pestering the princesses for ponies to rule over and to be made the princess of something.** "I still only have my student's stipend... No royal stipend. No expense account. No guard," Twilight grumbled to herself. Not that she wanted guards, or had even thought about the other perks. She was just upset that this other mare had gotten them. "I'm not even the princess of anything.. And I don't rule over anypony. Why would she get that stuff if I don't have it..."
*Luna had tried to tell Sunrise that she was not anyone's twin, she was a clone, but the mare had indignantly countered that she was an 'artificial twin of magical origin' and being referred to as a clone was 'so deeply offensive that only the rudest of scoundrels from centuries passed would even think such a word.' That'd shut Luna up. After the clone argument had been dropped it'd been fairly simple to begin demanding privileges and the royal sisters had to go into full damage control mode.
**Sunrise had recommended that she be made either The Princess of Snark or The Princess of Beating Other Princesses At Arguments.
After a long session of grumbling Twilight eventually moved to the other issue that was bothering her. "A sister? A twin, no less. How could this have possibly happened... What will my mother say?"* She stared at her reflection in the window. She thought of all the fun they could have had if they were real twins and all the fun they could have now. As the hours passed she grew more and more eager to meet this new twin of hers. By the time the train stopped in Canterlot she was practically humming with excitement and a little anxiety.
*She would say, "Twilight, really? This is the second child you've brought home to me."
"Spike," she said, shaking the dragon gently, "Time to wake up."
"Five more minutes," he grumbled.
"Come on, Spike," Twilight smiled warmly, "don't you want to meet your new sister?"
Twilight and Spike were escorted to the castle dining room. They walked in to the princesses chatting amicably to a mirror image of the purple mare. The copy saw them coming in and smiled widely. The two trotted towards each other, when they met they began to circle around each other looking for any details that would differentiate them other than the wings and general height difference. Once they were satisfied they stopped to stare at each other. They were silent for a moment until Sunrise broke into a sultry smirk, "Hey there, sexy."
"Wha--I-You think I'm sexy?" Twilight sputtered.
The other mare started laughing, "No, I think I'm sexy!"
"But we look the same!" Twilight shouted in exasperation.
"Yeah and it's really rude of you to steal my look like that. Obviously one of us needs to change," Sunrise said with a smug look on her face
Twilight's eye twitched, "You're joking," she said flatly.
Sunrise beamed, "Yup!"
"That wasn't funny," the alicorn grumbled.
"It kinda was," Spike said.
"See!" Sunrise said, "he gets it! Put 'er there, dude." She held a hoof out and the dragon gave her a fist bump.
"Why would you even say something like that?" Twilight half-growled. "I thought we were having a moment."
The unicorn rolled her eyes, "It's an icebreaker! Also 'cause you know what they say, twincest is wincest."
Twilight let out a groan.
"Worry not, Twilight," Luna said with a laugh, "she just likes to make an impression, but she gets better." She hadn't gotten better, Luna had just gotten used to her.
Sunrise smiled wickedly, "You think I'm just teasing, Lulu, but they also say princest is wincest."
"WHO SPREADS SUCH LIES?!" the princess shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice, deadening every ear in the room.
"Your loving subjects!" Sunrise shouted, having no idea if she was being loud or if she was whispering.
"You lie, mare! I would wager on it!" Luna growled loudly, but she, at least, wasn't shouting anymore.
A calculating look appeared on Sunrise's face, which she desperately tried to suppress, as a scheme flashed like lightning through her mind. "I'm willing to bet Twilight's bottom bit that graffiti can be found that says just that!" she worded very carefully and said a silent prayer of thanks that she'd seemingly gotten more than just her twin's good looks.
"Did somepony say my name?!"
"It is a deal!"
Twilight felt a shiver run up her spine, "I feel like something horrible just happened!" she shouted, thinking she'd whispered to herself.
The group had taken their seats and ordered their meal. Sunrise had decried the lack of soy made meat imitations and had to settle for a salad. Being in need of some familiar comfort food, she was about ready to demand a hamburger but figured that she shouldn't risk being known as some sort of cannibal seeing as she didn't know what the social mores said about eating meat.
"Okay, so what's with the name 'Athena' anyway?" Twilight asked, breaking through the general chatter they'd been engaged in since ordering. It'd been on her mind ever since she'd gotten that letter.
The royal sisters let out a long groan and the purple unicorn grinned like a shark who'd found a pack of injured seals.
"I wish you hadn't asked," Luna said morosely.
"Of course I'm going to ask! It's so weir-- I mean, unique!" Twilight glanced at her twin to see if she'd been offended but the mare with still smiling in anticipation.
"Ya! I want to know too!" Spike interjected.
"It's just that we've heard this story three times and she tells it exactly the same way every single time," Celestia said with a sigh.
"Oookay, but I'm still curious."
"Trust us," Luna intoned, "You shall regret it."
"Alright, enough whining. It's story time now," Sunrise said while rubbing her hooves together.
"And so, just as Athena was born fully-formed from the head of Zeus, I was born fully-formed from the head of Twilight. And just as Athena took with her the knowledge and wisdom of Zeus, leaving the wise god but a meathead, I took with me the knowledge and wisdom of Twilight, leaving her but an egg head without a yolk," Sunrise finished dramatically with one hoof held high above her head.
Twilight sat with her mouth agape, "That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And it makes no sense! How do you eat a pregnant mare and then have the child get born by splitting the father's head open with an axe?! And you're saying this Zeus survives?! Ridiculous!"
The unicorn smiled serenely, "Oh, sister dear, I know I took with me your knowledge and wisdom.. and probably most of your thinky-bits, but fear not, your loving sister can think for the both of us now!"
The young alicorn froze. "Are you telling me that you made me sit through that ludicrous fable," she growled, "that you named yourself something so silly, just so you could make a joke at my expense?"
"I'm telling you that it is a little true," Sunrise held her hooves close together, "Like this much."
"Gah!" Twilight shouted and threw her forelegs into the air, "Why is this happening?" she questioned the heavens. "Why couldn't I have gotten a normal clo- magical twin?"
With the rest of the table chuckling, Sunrise struck a philosophical tone, "Well, Twi, if I was just like you, what would be the point of me being here?"
The mare had her head resting against the wooden dining table in a look of worn out defeat, "And now she suddenly decides to make sense," she grumbled.
Sunrise briefly considered quoting Discord but decided that she'd better not risk it. "See, I think this proves my point. You should only make sense when it's to your advantage and if I hadn't taken your thinky-bits you'd have recognized that it was an old myth." She reached across the table and laid her hoof on top of the other mare's. "So from now on let's just say I'm the brains and you're the brawn."
Twilight rolled her eyes, "It's no myth I've ever heard of." The mare perked up and curiosity showed in her eyes, "Where did you learn it?"
The unicorn smiled, happy to lay down another cover lie, "Well, while I do have some chunks of your knowledge and whatnot I think I mostly just got the basics. I think a lot of the remaining brain space just got filled in with random junk info from," she twirled a hoof, "the ether or whatever." The reality was that while she'd been a human child she'd had a big book of mythology, but they didn't need to know that.
"Fascinating," the alicorn had somehow acquired a notebook and quill, "so your theory is that information has some sort of existence somewhere and your creation somehow tapped into that info?"
"Well let's not get hasty. I have a tentative hypothesis that I got a brain with a similar capacity to yours but with a lot of empty space, so that created a vacuum which pulled in a bunch of random information. Odd foreign mythology being among that info."
Twilight was writing furiously in her notebook and mumbling to herself. Something about redefining the entire field of epistemology. "We'll need to run tests, of course," she said to herself, "lots of tests. Oooh, this will be so great!"
"Sounds fun as a barrel of monkeys," Sunrise said through a mouth full of salad, "We'll call it," she twirled a hoof as she swallowed, "Sparkle Sister's Science Session."
"Huh?" Twilight looked up from her sheet of notes, blinking owlishly. She hadn't noticed lunch had been brought in. "Yeah.. that does sound like fun." She smiled, put away her notes, chowed down, and joined the conversation that'd been going on without her.
Unfortunately, the mares weren't able to spend the day together. Twilight needed to dig her way through a two foot stack of paperwork in order to be legally declared a Princess. The stuff was complex enough that it couldn't simply be filled out at her home, but would require a team of bureaucrats to help her wade through the mess of red tape and addendum forms. Every page needed to be filled out with exacting detail, including a section on her genealogy going back as far as historically possible. The Sparkle family had a long documented history in Canterlot so a separate team had been hired earlier by Celestia to do the arduous research. To slow down the process, every page had to be filled out in Twilight's own hoof (or horn).
Sunrise had wanted to get started on her own paperwork as well, to make sure no one could dispute her position later, but Celestia shut her down arguing that her claim on princesshood couldn't be processed or accepted until Twilight's coronation. Sunrise grumbled something about being 'conned into peasanthood' and her paranoia fired up, demanding she start plotting to keep a hold on her newly acquired status.
She ended up spending the day at the library with Spike. He was a shockingly good assistant for someone so young. He helped her find all the books she'd need to fully integrate herself with the Equestrian culture, mostly books on history and society.
"Okay, Spike," Sunrise said after about an hour of gathering a stack of volumes she'd be taking back to her room, "I think that's about enough to start with. I didn't come here just to learn history. I've got a research project in mind. You've been a lot of help so far and I don't think I can do it without you," she said.
"Really? You think so?" Spike said.
"That's right," Sunrise gave the drake a pat on the head, "You're really good at this library stuff. I've got some really important work to do and you're just the drake to help me." Flattery always works.
Spike mouthed the words 'really important' before he enthusiastically, and in a library-inappropriate level of voice, said, "Yeah! I can do that!" The drake pumped his fist in the air and ran off into the shelves.
"Err... Spike?"
After a few seconds the dragon popped his head out from behind a shelf with a sheepish look, "Um. What were we looking for again?" he said.
Sunrise smiled at his antics and trotted over to him so he wouldn't have to do a walk of shame, "Remember that bet I made with Luna?"
"Uh huh."
"Well we need to figure out what she actually has so I can ask for it when I win," Sunrise said.
"Isn't that a little mean?" Spike said with a skeptical look.
Sunrise gave a fake gasp, "Oh no! This is just a fun little bet between mares. It's not mean at all!"
"Weeell, okay," Spike said with hesitation. "I guess I can help if it's just for fun."
"That's what I like to hear!"
With Spike doing most of the gathering and Sunrise doing most of the reading they were making decent progress but there was still a lot of obscure information to pour through. They didn't have access to any tax filings or official state documents but there was still plenty of information out there about what Luna owned privately. While she found a number of properties she would love to get a hold of, Sunrise was looking for a big score. Something that wouldn't just bring in money but could give her influence. She kept playing back Celestia's words from earlier. 'Claim on princesshood' was repeated over and over, each time sounding more sinister and more like a threat. She kept her head enough to know that she'd never been this obsessive about something, although she had been given to the occasional bout of paranoia.*
This little obsessive streak is just from the stress of coming to Equestria and... Well I'm not going to think about that. But it's totally normal to be a little bit loopy after everything, she said to herself, There's nothing to worry about, except that maybe Celestia doesn't want me to be royalty. But I'll just have to make sure I get that crown. After all, what would even be the point of living here if I don't get to live in luxury?
They continued their research well into the evening until finally Sunrise found something that caught her eye. They were both harried but the mare in particular wasn't doing well. Her mane was sticking out at odd angles and she was clearly showing signs of being overworked. She reread the line a few times until she broke out into a wicked smile. "Spike!" she yelled into the shelves. "I think I found it!" Fortunately there wasn't any staff nearby to glare balefully at her.
The drake jogged out from the forest of shelving, "Really? I thought we'd never find anything," he said.
"We've practically struck gold!" Sunrise said giddily. "Look at this," she pointed at a line in the book, "apparently Luna owns a bar called 'The Lunatic's' and it's in the castle. Looks like it was Celestia who put it in but she gave it to Luna when she got back."
"Why would you want a bar?" Spike asked, confusion plain on his face.
Sunrise chewed on her hoof for a moment, "I suppose you're mature enough," the dragon beamed, "I'm willing to bet that every single important thing that happens in this castle is spoken about in that bar. That means I'll have a line on everything happening in the government and probably in the city. Plus, I bet everypony who's anypony goes to that bar and I'll be able to meet them."
Spike, still confused, was starting to look worried. "Why would you want that?"
Mm... To a kid that probably sounds like something a villain would do. Sunrise thought through a few justifications before picking one. "Spike. Twilight's really great, right?" she said.
"Well yeah."
"And Shining and Cadance are great too, right?"
"Sure..."
"And you're the hero of the Crystal Empire!"
"I guess so..." Spike said with a blush, kicking his foot against the carpet.
"Well I want to be great too. I don't want to be the disappointment of the family." Spike cringed at that. Got him, she thought. "But I'm not a great mage, or the captain of the guard, or the princess of love," she put a hoof under his chin and pushed his face up so he'd look into her eyes, "or even a dragon hero. I want to do great things for Equestria, just like you and the rest of our family," she said with a special emphasis on 'our.' She pulled back her hoof and watched the setting sun through a window in a way that, she hoped, would look thoughtful. "But in order to be great I have to do some things that may not seem noble at the time but they're things that somepony needs to do for Equestria. I need to know what's happening, even if it means eavesdropping, and I need a place to meet all the important players, even the ones who aren't good ponies. For that I need the bar."
Spike was silent for a few moments. "I guess that makes sense..." he said.
"I knew you were old enough to understand," Sunrise said.
Spike puffed out his chest, "I'm just happy I could help."
"I couldn't have done it without you," Sunrise gave the dragon a pat on the head. "I bet Twilight's wondering where we are. How 'bout I take you to her room... little bro."
Spike's eyes lit up, "Okay... big sis."
*Sunrise would never admit it but back when she was a human she'd believed every new conspiracy theory s/he heard, at least for a few days until the ridiculousness of the idea became overwhelming. Even the silly ones.
As a teenager he'd believed the chemtrail one for three whole days, the one where the they were spraying toxic chemicals all over the world, particularly mercury, so that the only crops people would be able to grow were from Monsanto brand seeds resistant to the soon to be toxic soil. The seeds would be infertile so that farmers would have to pay Monsanto every year for a new batch, then control over the world's food production would be complete.
When he'd learned that reptile-like aliens were taking over the world governments by replacing politicians with copies who looked the same but were really lizard people with fake human skin, he'd spend a frantic night of internet research until he finally fell asleep looking at videos of politicians eyes flashing, which was proof they'd been replaced. He woke up the next morning feeling terribly embarrassed and has since tried to suppress the memory.
One memory he could never suppress was the time he went to the Grand Canyon as a boy and saw something weird in the caves lining the canyon. That night he'd dreamt that what he'd actually seen was a six foot tall, robot on thick treads with glowing red eyes sunken into a triangular head. Later, he couldn't remember what was a dream and what was real and spent the occasional childhood night fearing the inevitable assault of the robot-mole-people.
As a pony princess she was hoping to put her paranoid tendencies behind her, but prospects were doubtful.
After dropping Spike off the mares ended up chatting for a bit, mostly it was Twilight complaining about her trial by bureaucracy. Spike did a bit of bragging about being a 'number one assistant.' Sunrise was quite free in her praise even in front of Twilight, who worried the dragon was getting a big head. The alicorn was, of course, curious about what they'd been researching but was told it was a surprise. Sunrise was certain she'd be interrogating Spike later but was confident she'd convinced him of the importance of keeping it a secret for a few days. She didn't give Twilight enough credit, as the mare respectfully let the topic drop and didn't try to pry answers out of Spike.
After their chat, Sunrise found her way to The Lunatics and checked the place out. It was happily busy with ponies of all sorts chatting freely. Guards, castle staff, and even nobles congregated in their groups, mostly separately, to discuss their long days. It was better than she'd even imagined.
Sunrise figured she may as well pick up something to drink while she started on the books she'd gotten in the library. She got a bottle of whiskey and, before she paid, she saw that they also sold cigarettes. When she saw her old standby for dealing with stress, she almost jumped across the counter to get at them. She kept her cool, though, and hurried back to her room to spend some quality time with her new find.
Stunning Shield flew along his usual patrol route above the castle when he heard a low voice singing. "Nopony should be up at this hour..." he said to himself, "Better check it out." It didn't take him long to find himself flying above, and out of sight of, one of the guest room balconies. He saw a lavender mare standing against the railing with her hooves hanging over it. In one hoof she held a glass and in the other a lit cigarette. There was a half empty bottle on the floor by her rear hooves and the railing held a tray with a number of put out butts.
"Princess Twilight?" he whispered.
The mare hummed an unfamiliar tone before singing softly, "Hang my head, drown my fear~. . . Till you all just disappear~. . ."
The mare set her glass down and wiped at her eyes. She took a puff and watched the smoke fade into the night.
"No... That must be Princess Sunrise."
"Black hole sun, won't you come~. . . And wash away the rain~. . ."
"I'd better give her some privacy," the guard said quietly before resuming his patrol.
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Oh this is getting good
... I get the feeling Sunrise is going to be the one to write the aforementioned graffiti.
Wow. Talk about depressing way to end the chapter...loved it
It's funny how Sunrise is milking the Princesses like that, while our humble Twilight is lagging behind!
10/10, 100/100 best chapter.
I'm reading both this one and the original. Who will win me over first?
Really interesting take on how the "clone" is taking it. Can't wait to see where all of this ends up.
The story is getting better and better. The style reminds me a bit of Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and I loved it.
I'm certain this story will be a epic ride.
Sunrise may be crazy, but it's a good kind of crazy. Wait, mentioning her name isn't a spoiler, right. This is the second chapter! Either way, I await more from this excellent fic!
Wow "Princess" Sunsrise love that song too
Interesting. The way she is not openly freaking out is refreshing. And what an oh so sneaky mare... Barely born and already on her path to collateral royalty and being an information broker. She doth make us proud
you need to have Sunrise sing the porn song.
EDIT: I was also expecting more Hitchiker's guide shenanigans... maybe have her rename or refer to the baras something like the restaurant at the end of the universe.
7942208
Please no... at least not when young people are present
7942042 That's a gimmie.
Though if Luna were to think about it, Sunrise did say before "I'm willing to bet Twilight's bottom bit that graffiti can be found that says just that!" that the ones who said it were Luna's "loving subjects"... so all Luna would have to say is Sunrise isn't a subject (which is true as technically she isn't a citizen yet) NOR is she loving lol.
7942242
Shadenfreude then?
7942289 much better
7942292
the ponies should be introduced to frozen or similar.
7942068 Lines I couldn't find a place for part 1: "Wow, Twi, you're not doin' so great at this whole sibling rivalry thing, are you?"
7942093 The question is not which is the better fic, the question is who is best girl? Its Megumin.
7942155 Which song?
7942172 Collateral Royalty! Love it!
7942208 Everyone's favorite mad wizard already did it, and way better than I could ever do.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/124025/twilight-the-internet-is-for-porn
7942250
Considering how good she is at getting her way, all Sunrise has to do is ask one of those at the Lunatic Bar if they love Princess Luna, then bribe them to write 'Princest is Wincest' on the walls, while incidentally starting that very thought provoking rumor since she's in an influential bar in the first place (assuming that that particular idea isn't already in fluctuation) and then bring Luna there to see it. She'll be so disgusted that she'll be GLAD to give Sunrise the bar that's so besmirched her. Win win.
I wonder if luna and she are going to have a dream argument and her finding out her fears? maybe they will bond since luna set on helping everyone
7942327 Blackhole Sun of course
7942353 Oh right, derr. I thought you meant a song called 'princess sunrise'
well it is nice to see another chap so soon.
7942327
He, she really isn't.
Honestly, I'm curious how this further develops. Especially her interactions with Twilight's friends. Or, *GASP*
Blueblood? I imagine a confrontation between the two could be interesting. 
7942336
Oh, that is just delightfully Machiavellian.
I see I'm not the only Soundgarden fan here...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
14:19_2/12/2017
Great chapter. I'm really taking a liking to Twilights new sister.
I do hope that others will just see Sunrise's behaviour surrounding securing her Princess title as a redirected form of what drove Twilight to Lesson Zero.
It feels delightfully appropriate and, given the conspiracy-prone nature of Sunrise's psyche, it could lead some interesting musings on whether there's any significance to that commonality in their personalities.
trial by bureaucracy
After their chat, Sunrise found
(You need a comma because you're relocating "after their chat" from the end of the sentence)
and, before she paid, she saw
(You're inserting a clause into the middle of a perfectly good sentence, so you need to annotate the mental context switches with commas so the reader doesn't need to backtrack to compensate for incorrect assumptions about how to parse the sentence.)
When she saw her old standby for dealing with stress, she almost jumped across the counter to get at them.
(You reversed the order of the clauses from what would flow naturally, so use a comma to mark the transition)
That reminds me, for about a month I believed the conspiracy theory that Finland doesn't exist. The theory states that Finland was created during the Cold War as a cover up for illegal fishing and oil drilling by Russia and Japan. The logic is that nobody would expect someone to go fishing in a forest. The proof is all in the Reddit article I linked. The big flaw in this theory is that Finland was created in the Cold War. The Cold War started in the year 1950 by the US Senator Joseph McCarthy when he showed a list of names of people in government with ties to Communism. It is likely there wasn't even anyone on the list, but it made America scared of the USSR. McCarthyism aside, how could Finland have been created after 1950, when they were a major player in the Winter War of 1939?
dang it dang it dang it I CANT STAND WAITING
This is the most delicious story ive read in months!!! IT IS THAT GOOD!
Not to my liking but to each their own.
7942484
*bows* I'll take that as a compliment.
pre09.deviantart.net/dfe4/th/pre/i/2012/064/d/9/fluttershy_wink_by_drdraze-d4ruexe.png
We need more Sunrise. Please! Update Faster!
That moment you realize that Sunrise bar-tending at one of Canterlot's most prestigious establishments means she would have access to information on more than a few of the Real political conspiracies floating around the nobility... Such as the one that instigated the major upheavals in the Assassinverse...
and the implications of what her having her hooves on that sort of information could spell for Equestria's future, for good or ill...
7942208
7942803 Thanks for the edits
I don't know if I like this story yet, but it's crazy enough to keep me reading.
Sunrise is... I can't make up my mind whether I like her or not
Sure, she's quick on the wit and hilarious, but that manipulative part...
Oh well, time will tell whether it's selfish manipulation (as it seems to be right now) or something genuinely good. Or maybe it really is selfish now but will be come good in the future when she learns that the others truly do care. We'll see.
7943525
LOL that was hilarious.
7944680 Of course it was.
It was an old Red VS Blue PSA dubbed over MLP.
7944760
I wonder if someone did that with Sonic For Hire. I actually want to make a machinima myself at some point in the future. But, my definition of Machinima is the process of making something akin to an abridged series with video-game footage. not that the company that named the genre isn't something to strive for in it's own right, but Machinima makes it easier to distinguish the effort from an abridged series.
7945367 Go for it. Abridged series and anything similar are some of the best comedies around right now.
Am I the only one that thinks comedy has gotten worse, in general, since streaming got popular?
7945637 just watch dragon ball z abridged, laughed my ass off every episode and movie. And vegeta had some of the best lines "Is that another me?! Is that me stronger the me?!! I'M GONNA KILL ME!!!
Time for an immediate fave.
7944569 it could be a subtle breakdown. A subconscious need to make herself indispensable, someone who couldn't be thrown away or erased. After all if she has seen the show then she knows how they handle clones (mirror pool). Also when something bad happens some people instead of giving everything a chance to catch up to them dive head first into a project to avoid dealing with the emotions.
On a unrelated note I just looked up that song and it fucking hurts. I don't know why, I don't have any super horrible memories, I'm not feeling sad, but for some reason that song tore me apart.
Twilight is slightly taller after becoming an alicorn.
If this is a guy, why do they refer to themselve's with female pronouns all the time, even in memories?
Also, what did this person do for a living as a human? Must have been slightly above minimum wage if they could have afforded sky-diving.
7947390 The bit with the clones could be debated - they were sent to the mirror pool because that is where they have originated from, and, they were a nuisance instead of appearing truly sapient. At least to me.
But yeah, you do make a point. Each has their own coping mechanisms. I still don't like it so far though
7947577 Totally forgot she grew. Fixed now.
I wasn't really sure which pronouns to use. It's not Sunrise remembering it, it's narrative commentary about someone who's now female. You think I should change it to male pronouns?
7949769
Probably, unless the protagonist identified as a women prior to the start of this story, then, at the time of this event at the Canyon it was a boy experiencing these things, not a girl.
This should lead you to the question of how the character refers to themselves now. Have they already embraced a new gender identity to match their new physical sex, or do they still think themselves a boy despite the circumstances?
i.imgflip.com/1jocev.jpg
7949840 Unfortunately, I can't write a girl but I can write a male in a female role. Plus, I'm just following the genre trope.
Alright, I fixed it up. Thanks for the advice.