- Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
WestRail642fan
If people only see me as a villain, may as well act the part
WestRail642fan
Joined 21st Jul, 2013 ·
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Shouldn't you wait until this story is finished before you start the sequel?
7707583 this was started last
My congratulations for your story that fills in many small details that was not in “The Crystal Empire” because of time limits. Even when I saw the first episode for the first time, I did ask myself how the Equestrian military knew about the Crystal Empire’s return and why a railroad was so near the Crystal Empire. I suppose that the story writers and their editors considered “The Failure Song” and “The Ballad of the Crystal Empire” to be more entertaining to their audience than the details you provided in your story.
''What does it say dear?'' Cadence asked, Shining then gave her the message, she it over, she gasped, ''We're needed in Canterlot at once!'' She said.
''What does it say dear?'' Cadence asked. Shining then gave her the message; she read the brief message quickly, gasped as she realized what Celestia’s message was, and then nearly shouted, “We're needed in Canterlot at once!”
Spike approached the door and opened and saw he and Twilight's four other friends (That’s three “ands” in one sentence and is poor grammar and makes you sound like an excited child and I think this need a revision, to put your readers behind Spike’s eyes.)
Spike approached and then opened the library’s front door with a clawed hand. Before him, standing on the flat stoop was Twilight's four other friends
''The Crystal Empire? You mean its real! But its just a myth!''
''The Crystal Empire? You mean it’s real! But it’s just a myth!''
Unfortunately, he placed on the Empire and caused to be lost to time.
Unfortunately, he placed a powerful curse on the empire that caused it and all the empire’s inhabitants to be lost to limbo - a space between worlds where time stands still.
Capitalization
Remember that in the main body of the essay, only proper names of persons or places should be capitalized, but they should always be capitalized.
Examples: Huns, Hunnish, Roman Empire, Attila.
Note that some words can be parts of proper names, as in Roman Empire or Kingdom of France, or not, as in "the empire that Charlemagne ruled" or "the borders of the kingdom."
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Sorry for the VERY late replies, but thank you for enjoying this, i well rewrite parts of chapter to to correct the errors at some point, i'm just currently focused on Origins
Where can I read Purple Mare?
11724049
that fic got scrapped a few years ago im afraid