Shippin' Pones

by Argembarger

Flutterdash

I really don't have time for this junk.

Rainbow Dash landed on the plush roof of Fluttershy's cottage and sat down, resting his wings. A tiny sparrow perched on one of the birdhouses near him cocked its head inquisitively.

I bet he's not even going to want to come. Puh.

Rainbow Dash flared his wings, shooing the small bird away in a flurry of feathers and chirping.

Whatever. Let's just get this over with.

"Rainbow Dash? What are you doing on my roof? Um, you aren't scaring my friends, I hope..."

Fluttershy's head poked out of the roof window, his eyes moving to and from Rainbow Dash and a small pile of sparrow feathers.

"Whoa, hey there, Fluttershy. Didn't expect to see you up this high, erm..." Nice going, Dash. Off to a real good start, there. "Anyway, I came to ask you something. Do you—"

Fluttershy looked down at the windowsill. "Um... do you want to come inside and talk there instead? On the ground?"

"...Yeah, that'd be okay, I guess."

Rainbow Dash clambered through the open window and followed Fluttershy downstairs to the squawking horde of stray animals he called a living room. Fluttershy gingerly moved several woodland creatures from his couch and offered him a seat.

A curious badger stuck its nose in the feathers of his wing as Fluttershy sat across from him in a plush chair. Raising a hoof, he quelled the uproar and nodded, listening intently as Rainbow Dash began speaking.

"So, Shy, when's the last time you've been to Cloudsdale?"

Fluttershy moved his eyes away. "Um... I don't know. Maybe not at all since the Best Young Flier Competition. Why?"

"I've gotta head back down—up, rather—for, uh, pegasus business." Rainbow Dash bit his lip. "I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."

"Oh, I don't know, Rainbow... How long would it be? I don't think I could just leave all of my friends alone like that..."

"It'd only be for a couple of days. And don't worry! Applejack said he'd look after your animals."

Fluttershy cocked his head. "Wow, uh... You already asked? Before asking me if I would even go? Um... why do you want me, exactly?"

Play it cool, Dash. Cool as ice.

"C'mon Fluttershy. You're a pegasus. I'm a pegasus. It's like, you know, pegasus stuff. For pegasuses. So, wanna go?"

So cool.

"I suppose so. When do we leave?"

"Pack your bags, 'cause I'm already late."

~ ~ ~

The two pegasus ponies rode the winds back to their birthplace, Cloudsdale: the shining city in the sky. The blue one flew circles and loops around the yellow one, whose flight patterns could be accurately described as 'lurching'.

"C'mon, F-Shy. Shake a wing. I know you can fly faster than that."

"Sorry, Rainbow... This suitcase is just heavy," Fluttershy panted.

Rainbow Dash rolled his eyes. "Shy, I've seen you tug a hot-air balloon full of ponies. Besides, it's your own fault. You didn't have to pack forty pounds of birdseed."

"But what about all of the hungry Cloudsdale birds?"

"It's just a little further. Here, let me help!"

Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy's hoof and started tugging him along at an ever-so-slightly faster pace. Fluttershy's head spinned as the world raced by around him.

"Slow down, please... I feel sick..."

"We're almost there. Look, over that hill!"

Rainbow pushed ever faster, and Fluttershy tumbled through the air like a ragdoll behind him.

As they crested the hill, a sudden updraft threw Rainbow Dash into a massive cloud bank.

For a blinding instant, his world was a stark, fluffy white. The structure of the cloud broke like balsa wood against the two ponies and their trunk full of birdseed—Rainbow heard the fluffy poof noises of critical cloud failure. Everything went dark as they fell, tangled in cloud fragments and condensation detritus.

It was something Rainbow Dash had only seen once before.

It was a cloudvalanche.

~ ~ ~

Seriously?

Rainbow Dash was the first to wake up; the first to find the weight of an entire class three cumulus pinning him against Fluttershy, his snout buried in Fluttershy's long, pink mane.

Okay, keep it together, Dash. Gotta stay cool. You're just trapped in pitch-black darkness with another stallion. That's... that's just Tuesday, right?

Rainbow Dash tried to think of anything except how compromising their current position was. Down that route led awkwardness and humiliation for one or both of them.

Oh man. This might be really hot if I wasn't so cool.

"Fluttershy. Fluttershy, wake up."

"Mwhuh? What happened? R... Rainbow, it's dark... Um... is that—"

"No it isn't be quiet."

"I really think I feel a—"

"I said be quiet Fluttershy for Celestia's sake."

"Okay, but wh—"

Rainbow Dash silenced his friend the only way he could think of: with his lips. The horses kissed in the dark.

For upwards of 12 seconds.

So cool...

As their lips parted, Fluttershy giggled. "That was kind of nice, Rainbow... I wouldn't have expected you to be affectionate, um... no offense."

Oh man, I'm totally in. Yes!

"Hey, Rainbow?"

"Yeah, Shy?"

"Don't you buck clouds away for a living?"

"Oh, I guess I do, yeah."

Rainbow Dash spent a few minutes bucking the cloud away.

As the last of the fluffy stuff dissipated under the force of Rainbow Dash's powerful hooves, the two stallions blinked at the sudden rush of sunlight. When their eyes acclimated, they found they were standing on a broken sign.

Cloud X-ing. Of course.

"Hey, Shy."

"Yeah, Rainbow?"

"Looks like we were On A Crossing Arrow."

The pun lingered and festered across both of the couple of days of Rainbow Dash's "pegasus stuff" business in Cloudsdale.

They never kissed again.

Rainbow Dash regretted that pun for the rest of his very long, lonely life.

Comments

[mrxeno]

there are a lot of gender mix ups in this story are they supposed to be there or misstake?

[Dashie4Pres]

It's Argembarger. Assume everything that seems wrong is intentional.

[Roxxi]

803504 You do?

[Mally]

803409

Actually, it was fairly consistent throughout. Just a suddenly genderbent story, is all.

Or so it seems, up until the pun. Clearly, the swap is all for the payoff.

[Crusadin]

Just click on the blue words to get your answer.
These are like the Suda51 versions of, How every shipfic would actually happen. Bizarre, plain and simple.

[Favo]

That was fucking hilarious. More please.

[Argembarger]

823862 Plot hole fixed. Thanks.

[CheeseDeluxe]

The only fic in all of FiMFic I want to update... doesn't update.

Stop teasing with the "incomplete," Argembarger. You're killin' me.