• Member Since 3rd May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 18th, 2018

SuicidalAngel


Cute, fluff, and love stuff ^^

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Rainbow Dash loved most everything about her experience at the Daring Do convention the prior weekend. Once remembering the moments during practice with a few bolts, she decides to tell her most trusted friend in the HQ about her adventure.

Cover picture is part of a comic made by Dividedby-Zero (or Beyond-The-Boundary) on DeviantArt. Check it out when you have the time!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 47 )

7440879 Heh, I was waiting for someone else to write it this time :twilightblush:

Quibble pants
What pants?
Quibble
What
QUIBBLE PANTS

"Why'd ya slow down?" Fleetfoot asked. Dash rubbed the back of her head nervously.

"Heheh...Sorry, Flap Flip, I was distracted," she explained.

Not sure where you got "Flap Flip" from, but Fleetfoot's 'Bolts nickname is Flatfoot.

Fleetfoot shook her head as she saw the pony's figure get smaller in the distance. "Teens. So oblivious."

Umm...Rainbow Dash is in her 20s. ALL the Mane Six are in their 20s.

"It was great, AND I got to actually spend time with A.K Yearling!" She continued, deciding not to tell him that A.K was A.K.A Daring Do. (Sorry, I had to.)

Don't do parenthetical author's notes. Ever.

This needs proofreading. There are far too many typos and errors for such a short piece. Also, I think you're overplaying the "embarrassment" Rainbow feels while searching for Soarin. It doesn't follow that Rainbow would get flustered just from trying to find a pony. Also, the entire "Rainbow searches for Soarin" bit is blatant word count padding, and it shows. Badly.

As to the story itself...sorry, but it's kinda poor. The ending is abrupt, the pacing is bad, and you don't really have a grasp of how to properly execute rapid-fire dialogue.

Get a proofreader, get an editor, refine this, learn how to execute this kind of story effectively.

NO!!! RAINBOW!! YOU DO NOT LIKE HIM!!! YOU LIKE SOARIN!!

Soarin poor XD XD I'm pegging with laughter:rainbowlaugh:

7440950 She definitely likes Quibble. ;)

7441381
WELL, I'LL MAKE HER NOT LIKE HIM!!! *takes out stick from behind*

Rainbow: Wha.. What are u doing?!

Me: U. WILL. LIKE. SOARIN!!!

7441398 Me: *grabs Rainbow and runs away* You like Quibble! Don't listen to him!

* Pulls out katakana *
Where is he
Randone pony: Who?
Quibble Pants
I warned him if he interfered with my OTP the penalty is DEATH
*Flies after him*

7440909 Alright, I'll try to fix some of my mistakes and I'll look for a proofreader for my next stories. Thank you for your recommendations and I'll do my best to follow them in the future.

7441493

*her*

Me: *chases after her* IF U DO NOT LIKE, ME KILL!!!! *pulls out Nerf gun* MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!! NOW BOTH OF U AND PANTS WILL DIE!!!

7441512

Me: I'll help you kill the Pants!!!

7441604 *Whips out AK-47 and M60*
Me: run Quibble Dash, run! *turns to you* astala-vista baby!

7441637
Me: MUHUAHUAH!! YOU THOUGHT YOU CAN KILL ME THAT FAST?! *jumps into a random convenient tank* NUH UH!!! U R NOT LEAVING!! I'M ALWAYS FAST AND NEVER LAST! TIME FOR U TO DIE!!!! *gives war-cry* SOARINDASH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7441650 Me: I'll be back. *Goes to random air force base and steals an A-10 Warthog, flies over here* HERE'S ARNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

7441658
Me: *goes into the place where bombs are kept and takes out a RDS-220 hydrogen bomb* SHIPPERS!!!!! WORLD WAR 3 IS STARTING!! TAKE YOUR PLACES AND FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!

7441667 Me: *Heads on over to Skynet and starts production on more T-800's, T-1000's, and Hunter-Killer's* "You asked for it pal."

7441691
Me: *steals the U.S, Russian, Britain, and all the other countries armies* FIGHT ARMY!! FIGHT FOR SOARINDASH!!

Soldiers: *looks at each other* What are we doing here?

Me: I SAID FIGHT!!!!

7441704 *Does a bit of dimension hopping and gathers up the Empires forces from Star Wars, the Colonial Marines from Aliens, the Red and Blu teams from Team Fortress 2, the UNSC fleet from Halo, and all of Immortan Joe's forces from Mad Max Fury Road, Chuck Norris, and John Rambo.*

Me: Fight! Fight for the QuibbleDash!

Sarge from Red vs Blue: What in Christ's name are we doin' here?

Ramdom stormtrooper: I think we're here for a ship war.

Sarge: Oh, well in that case *pumps shotgun* let's do this.

Random warboy: I AM AWAITED IN VALHALLA!!!

Heavy from Team Fortress 2: Now doctor! *Medic pops Ubercharge* I am bullet proof!!!

Private Hudson from Colonial Marines: Time to kick some ass, and take a whole lot of names!

Captain Lasky on UNSC Infinity: Roland, prepare the Spartans.

Chuck Norris: *Does something badass*

Rambo: *Loads belt of ammunition into M-60* Time to draw first blood for once.

7440909 They're in their 20's??? How do you know? Is it canon?!?!? (In my mind, I want Dash to just be twenty...just because....no reason..*coughPiercingtheHeavenscoughycoughsocoughmySoarinDashCOUGHdaydreamsworkHmmmmmmmmmm*......that sure was a lot of coughing :twilightblush:):moustache:

7442040 Word of God has always been they're in their early 20s, even as far back as the first season.

7441759
Me: *Blows bubble gum.* I'm getting bored. EXPLODE THE NUCLEAR BOMB!!!! *the bomb gets thrown and no one knows what happens*

7442481 Me: *closes book* "And that children, is the story of the war between QuibbleDash and SoarinDash.
Random Child: And this all happened because of a fanfic someone wrote?
Me: No, that had nothing to do with it. The war was going to happen no matter what.
Ramdom Child: Oh, okay.

7442556
Me: This is an awesome fanfic. I should write about it.

You forgot one thing though.

Me: *tells the children* at the end no one won. Quibble and Soarin got killed, oh and Zephyr did to, so no more shipping happend.
The end.

No seriously, I should write a fanfic about this stupid fight. What u think?

7442577 Yeah, definitely. XD

7443179
Since you also wrote it, we should write it together if you want... Cuz, I wouldn't feel right about taking all the credit. Yes, I know I'm so thoughtful...

7443857 Would you like to take this conversation to a PM?

*gasps for air*
I'm done choking on my blanket. (I had to do something to not let my entire family know I'm a crazy fangirl...)

This was cute, there was typos and things of the sort, but unless your looking for them specifically it's something you autocorrect while readying.
I will say that the ending was a little abrupt... But I can deal with it XD


I think imay be going through the same problems as Dash..

I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE QUIBBLEDASH OR NOTTTT!

*sighs and adds ship to 'Favorite ships' list on wall*


#SoarinDashFOREVER

"Sorry, I'm having trouble processing this," Soarin interrupted. "His name is Quibble Pants?"

ME THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE EPISODE

Honestly, I would have liked for the romance tag to refer to RD and Soarin, not RD and Quibble. Quibble's a fun character, but I think RD just meshes better with Soarin.

As for the story itself, there needs to be more to it. It doesn't end so much as it just stops.

7454182 I know about the ending, and I'm sorry:twilightsheepish:
I'm trying to rewrite the entire story, with an editor's help of course, as I'm only a beginner and I make many mistakes :facehoof:

7470160 It kinda is for Soarin and Rainbow Dash, Soarindash is my otp... I honestly don't really know what I was thinking with Rainbow liking Quibble, maybe it was only for Soarin to be jealous. I am trying to rewrite the story, since I'll admit it's really bad. But thanks for reading!

7473440 You're welcome.
I'd suggest RD making it clear to Soarin that she likes him more, but that would probably be best suited for a sequel to the rewrite, rather than the rewrite itself.

7473509 Maybe :trixieshiftright: *plots master plan*

HAHAAAAAA

I'm 100% in love with quibbledash <3
This fic is really cute, nice job!

Cover picture is part of a comic made by Dividedby-Zero (or Beyond-The-Boundary) on DeviantArt. Check it out when you have the time!

Care to give a link?

8304787
Do you mean in the description or for you??

First page is here: http://beyond-theboundary.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Crush-566331610
But most of it continues on the artist's second account, here : http://lrusu.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Crush-71-605157075

WHY?!?!?! SOARIN!! DON’T JUST STAND THERE LIKE AN IDIOT AND DO SOMETHING!!!

Oh my GOSH, this was ADORABLE and so hilarious:rainbowlaugh: And the dialogue was quick, but well written. Not an easy thing to do. Great job!:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Dashie skies deleted May 19th, 2021

I'm really reading this book cus it's so good lol

10822904
Re-reading* fucking autocorrect

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