The Chronicles of Flynt

by bloodwolf432

Movement and planning ahead

“See anything Mr. Flynt?” Snowflake whispered.

“Not a thing, just more flatland and some mountains” Flynt muttered to the small light blue filly perched upon his shoulder. “And why are you perched upon my shoulder again, brat?”

“Because it’s comfier to be up here than to be on the ground” Snowflake said in a matter of fact tone. “Plus you think I’m too cute to get rid of.”

“Impertinent pup” Flynt grumbled, not denying anything. “Come on, let’s head back to the caravan.”

It had been two weeks since Flynt’s integration to the caravan. It had surprised Flynt to no end to find Trixie of all ponies to be in charge. Apparently she had decided to shape up her act after the Ponyville incident and begun to help others. The idea for the caravan had started about a month after what happened.

After stumbling to the border she came across a transaction of ponies being sold to a group of Griffons. Using her talent in illusion magic, she freed the enslaved ponies and escaped. Since then she had begun small hit and run raids on other slavers, gaining allies from freed prisoners along the way.

After meeting, Trixie had assigned Flynt to scouting due to Diamond Dogs having sharper senses than ponies and Griffons. He had been given back his armor after recovering from his wounds along with his trench knives and had been sent out with Jack O’Lantern to see how well he could perform.

“Hey there!” Snowflake shouted, waving a hoof furiously back and forth in the air as they approached the caravan. “We’re back!”

“Ow” Flynt grumbled, rubbing his ear. “What have I said about shouting in my ear, brat?”

“Um” Snowflake’s face cutely scrunched up as she thought hard for a second. “To not do it?”

“Right, now why are you doing it?” Flynt asked patiently.

“Because it’s fun!” Snowflake shouted before jumping off his shoulder and running off.

“Brat!” Flynt roared. “Get back here!”

“Ah leave her alone Flynt, she’s just a filly wanting attention” Jack laughed, wiping away a tear. “Chase after her and you’ll just give her what she wants.”

“What she’ll get is a good spanking” Flynt muttered, sitting down next to Jack.

“Here, this should help” Jack chuckled, passing over a mug.

Flynt sighed as he grabbed the mug and drank it down, feeling the familiar sting of alcohol run down his throat. “Good stuff.”

“It should be, it was made for Diamond Dogs” Jack chuckled. “The alcohol made for ponies is weaker due to our tolerance level being lower than yours. But if you’re looking for a real drink, you should try the Minotaur brew.”

“Is it that strong?” Flynt asked pausing in his drinking.

“Buddy, I’ve been drinking for years and built up enough tolerance to at least stomach Diamond Dog alcohol. One sip of their brew was enough to put me out” Jack said.

“Sounds good” Flynt grunted. “Hey, what’s his problem?” Flynt asked, nudging Jack.

“Hm?” Jack looked up to see a Diamond Dog glaring at the two, more specifically at Flynt. “Oh him? That’s the one I warned you about, that’s Butch.”

Butch was a tall gruff looking Diamond Dog with darkish grey fur. Judging by his more brutish appearance he must’ve been one of the Tainted. His lower jaw jutted out with fangs poking out from his lip, wearing a black tattered vest and a black spiked collar.

“Better watch it, he’s coming over” Jack warned.

“You, runt!” Butch barked pointing at Flynt.

“What do you want mutt?” Flynt drawled, leaning back.

Butch snarled at this and suddenly leapt forward, knocking into Flynt but this was what the Sambo user was expecting. He rolled with the tackle and shoved his hind legs into Butch’s stomach and threw him over into the wall of a nearby wagon.

Butch staggered back to his feet, snarling. He charged forward again with his claws out but was met with Flynt’s forearm digging into his windpipe. With colliding into Flynt’s arm his legs swung out from underneath him and did a back flip forward, landing with a thud on the ground.

The Diamond Dog lay wheezing on the ground clutching at his windpipe as a shadow fell over him. Already a crowd had drawn together to see the resident ‘alpha’ get his tail handed to him.

“Let’s get something straight” Flynt said squatting down. “You don’t like me and I sure as hell don’t like you, but if we want this caravan to survive we have to work together. Now, we can put this behind us and move on or.”

A flash of steel and a flicker of fear. “I’ll kill you without any hesitation. Are we clear?”

Butch snarled but made no move to get back up. “Clear.”

“Good” Flynt said standing back up. He grabbed Butch by the shoulder and hefted him back up with a single paw before giving him a shove to get going.

Butch snarled one last time before shoving his way through the crowd. They were silent for a moment before braking out in applause.

“Nice work mate!” Jack congratulated. “That one has been a right terror, bullying most of the others. The only reason why he’s been allowed to stay is because he keeps the other Diamond Dogs in line. However, more than likely you’ll probably find yourself the head of his pack now since you made him submit to you.”

“I fail to see how the others didn’t take him on themselves if he was that easy to beat” Flynt said as he walked to one the wagons and sitting down.

“Easy for you to say, not all of us have your fancy fighting moves.”

“Alright everyone, it’s time for us to move on!” Trixie shouted.

“How come she says everyone instead of everypony?” Flynt asked as he hitched himself to the wagon next to Jack.

“Incase you haven’t noticed, not everyone here is a pony” Jack pointed out as Flynt helped him into his harness. “It’s kind of offensive to say that so we say everyone instead of everypony.”

“Makes sense” Flynt said. He placed two fingers in his mouth and gave a sharp whistle. Out of the gathering of wagons came Snowflake followed by a Minotaur child.

“This is Burning Passion, he’s going to be riding with us” Snowflake said, wrapping a hoof around the Minotaur.

“Um, h-hello” Passion said meekly.

“Doesn’t really fit the name does he?” Jack whispered. “Right you two, hop on then so we can get moving.”

Snowflake squealed with delight and started dragging the hapless Minotaur to the wagon and jumped in, using her magic to float Passion aboard.

“So where are we too next?” Flynt asked as he pulled out a map.

“There, the plains between these two woods here” Jack pointed. “Near the town called Whisper.”

---

“That will be three marks” the vendor said, holding out a claw.

Flynt pulled three small bronze coins from inside his cloak and handed them over, walking away with the supplies in paw.

The Caravan had had set up a few miles outside of Whisper and had sent a few scouts in to gather supplies and information. Flynt had been surprised to learn that the Griffon form of currency differed from Equestrian bits.

Their economy ran on coins similar to bits but with a few differences. Marks were round bronze coins, the lowest form of currency. Next up on the ladder were ruble, squar sliver coins that were worth ten marks. Finally, the golden oblong shaped yen being worth one hundred marks.

The Caravan managed to make some money from different talents ranging from entertainment like Trixie’s magic to carpentry and pottery from some of the other races. Unfortunately, it never brought in a lot of cash but it was just enough for the group to survive.

Flynt opened up the coin purse and peered inside. He still had several marks left from his purchase, and Trixie didn’t say anything about not using the change. . .

“A bit weak but it’ll do” Flynt muttered sipping from a mug. The Griffon style of alcohol was a bit stronger than the ponies but still not as strong as Diamond Dog alcohol.

He sat outside the bar, watching different races walk by as he waited for the rest of the group to show up when he spotted something that got him worried.

“Flynt, Flynt!” a pony wheezed running up. It was one of the others that had accomponied Flynt into Town. His name was Far Strider, a dark green earth pony with a pair of horse shoes as his cutie mark. “It’s Snowflake and Burning Passion, they were taken by a group of Griffon slavers!”

“Yebat’ (Fuck)” Flynt cursed quietly. “Knew those two should’ve stayed back at the Caravan. Alright, go find the others and get back to Trixie, tell her what’s going on.”

“But what are you going to do?” Strider asked nervously.

“I’m going to get those two and do what I do best” Flynt answered grimly as he took off.

---

“What luck that we got not one but two new slaves” one of the slavers snickered.

“Not only that, but one’s a pony and the other’s a Minotaur” another chuckled. “What do you think’s going to happen to them? Mining or the Coliseum?”

“Who cares, as long as we get our money they could become sex slaves to royalty for all I care” the captain of the group said.

“You’re so sick captain” the gryphon pulling the cage laughed.

“You’d better let us go!” Snowflake shouted. “Or you’ll regret it!”

“Oh, and why is that my little pony?” the captain asked, walking up to the cage.

“Because Mr. Flynt will come for me and kill all of you!” Snowflake said with a smirk.

“Oh really, and just who is this ‘Mr. Flynt’ that’s coming to kill us?” one of the slavers sneered.

A sharp crack drew the attention of the slavers, causing them to turn around. Standing there was Flynt, dropping the Griffon who’s neck he just broke.

“Me. But for now, you can just call me ‘monster’” Flynt snarled, his trench knives flashing. “Kids, close your eyes.”

Snowflake and Passion shielded their eyes with the Minotaur child whimpering softly. The sound of screams accompanied with breaking bones and tearing flesh quickly filled the air. And as soon as it started . . . it was once more silent.

They heard the creak of the door to the cage they were in and were just about to open their eyes when they felt a paw cover their faces.

“Don’t open your eyes till I say” Flynt said, his voice sounding dead. “There are some things you don’t need to see at your age.”

Flynt gently picked up the two children and walked away from the scene, scavengers birds already starting to circle.

“Trixie, we have a problem” Flynt said sitting down next to the show mare after leaving the two kids with Jack.

“Trixie already knows Flynt” she sighed, rubbing her face with a hoof. “Just tell Trixie you didn’t leave any survivors to tell the rest about us.”

“No, there were no survivors but I got a few things off of them that you may want to see for yourself” Flynt said, pulling out some papers.

Trixie levitated them over and gasped in surprise. They were wanted posters, with hers, Gilda’s, and Flynt’s face on them. Each had their own price with Gilda’s being the lowest but wanted alive, Trixie wanted dead or alive, and Flynt having the highest with dead or alive as well but the price was higher if brought back dead.

“What could you have possibly done to warrant such a bounty?” Trixie gaped, staring at the number.

“Pissed off the current ruler of Gem Fido may have something to do with that” Flynt shrugged.

Flynt then turned serious. “Trixie, with prices such as these on our heads plus all of us traveling together, it’s only a matter of time before we’re overwhelmed with bounty hunters.”

“Then what should we do Flynt?” Trixie huffed. “Turn ourselves in? This group needs a leader otherwise they’ll just be recaptured and put back into slavery and Trixie is not going to let that happen.”

“No, that’s exactly what we can do” Flynt said perking up.

“I’m sorry but Trixie currently has something crazy residing in her ear because Trixie could’ve sworn you just suggested we turn ourselves in” Trixie said with a deadpan look.

“Hear me out” Flynt said holding his paws up. “We each have one member of the group hand us over to the Griffon Republic to collect the bounty then they would come back to the Caravan and make tracks for Equestria. With the money they should be able to set up near the southern border far from any border prowling slavers.”

“And who would you suggest lead the Caravan after Trixie leaves?”

“Have Jack do it. I’ve seen him in action, the others listen to him and respect his decisions. If you put him in charge he’ll be able to get them into Equestria.”

“Trixie, Trixie isn’t sure about this” the mare said uncertainly. “But what choice does Trixie have? After Ponyville, Trixie decided to do better with her life instead of just trying to scam ponies out of their money. Trixie thought this would be the best way.” Trixie gave a weak chuckle, a few tears glistening in her eyes.

“If you truly want what’s best for this group, you’ll turn yourself in” Flynt said gently, resting a paw on her shoulder. “No matter what happens, I’ll make sure we get out of this alive.”

Trixie sniffled a bit before looking up at Flynt. “You promise? No matter what?”

“I’ll burn down the nation if I have to” Flynt chuckled.

“Very well, but there is just one problem with your plan that Trixie can see” the show mare said grimly.

“Really? What’s that?”

“THERE IS NO WAY I’M DOING THIS!” Gilda shouted.

---

Omake One

Proving your worth

Or

The demon pony child from hell

“Alright, Trixie has decided on how you can prove yourself trustworthy enough of joining our group” Trixie announced, looking down at Flynt.

“Right, what’s that?” Flynt asked, not liking the evil glint in the show mare’s eyes.

“YOU MUST! . . give her a bath” Trixie said smugly, pointing at a giggling Snowflake.

“Wait, that’s it?” Flynt asked raising an eyebrow.

“That’s it” Trixie said smugly.

“Ooh, tough luck mate” Jack said patting Flynt on the back.

“She’s just a filly, how much trouble can she be?” Famous last words.

Flynt walked up and knelt down next to the still giggling Snowflake.

“Hey there Snowflake, if you could just come with me” Flynt started, reaching out for the filly when she blew a raspberry and suddenly took off.

“Brat! Get back here!” Flynt shouted.

The hunt, was on.

Flynt ran between the wagons, trying to spot the little filly when suddenly the ground in front of him froze over in ice, causing him to slip onto his back and crash into a wagon.

He dazedly got back to his feet clutching his head when he spotted the giggling filly, her horn glowing with magic.

“You little brat!” Flynt growled, running after her once more.

Running between the wagons again, the ground in front of Flynt froze once more but this time the Diamond Dog was ready.

“The same trick won’t work twice!” Flynt grinned, jumping over.

What he hadn’t noticed was the pit filled with water, ice rimming the edges. Flynt out a very unmanly yip as he was suddenly coated in ice water, going under for a second and then coming back up encased in a block of ice.

“Give up Mr. Flynt?” Snowflake asked innocently, smiling at the frozen dog.

“You are so dead” Flynt managed to grate out.

“Guess not!” the filly laughed as she pranced away.

With a roar, Flynt broke free from his icy prison and again reinitiated his pursuit. He kept slipping on ice slicks, getting dunked in water traps, and buried under snow mounds.

“How, can anyone do this?” Flynt panted, sneezing as he felt the first signs of a cold starting to affect him.

“Because you’re thinking too straightforward” Jack said, sipping on some beer. “Keep going the way you are and you’ll be lucky to only have a minor case of hypothermia.”

“Too straightforward huh?” Flynt grumbled, sniffling. ‘Wait, I’ve been thinking like a human too much! I’m a Diamond Dog now!’

Flynt raised his arms high and commenced digging, dirt flying behind him.

“He got dirt in my beer” Jack said flatly, staring at the overflowing mound of earth rising from his cup.

“Now where did Mr. Flynt go?” Snowflake hummed.

“Got you now brat!” Flynt shouted, popping out of the dirt with his fangs and claws bared.

Snowflake only managed a terrified scream before being grabbed and dragged back underground with Flynt, only a small pile of dirt marking anything had occurred of what just happened.

“And be sure to get behind your ears!” Flynt ordered, sipping on some hot tea.

“But the water is so cold!” Snowflake whined.

“It should be, you made it earlier!” Flynt snapped before sneezing. “Caught a cold because of you brat.”

“I’m sorry” Snowflake muttered as she levitated the soap to get behind her ears.

---

Omake Two

Something crazy in my ear

“I’m sorry but Trixie currently has something crazy residing in her ear” Trixie said using a hoof to rub her ear.

Using her magic, she grasped a hold of something and tugged it out. Needless to say, both Trixie and Flynt were surprised with what came out.

“What . . . The . . . Buck” Trixie deadpanned.

“The hell did you get in there?” Flynt asked, looking into Trixie’s ear.

“The hell if I know” Deadpool shrugged. “One moment I’m in an interview about my new game next I’m getting tugged out her ear.”

“The fourth wall has been shattered! Every Diamond Dog, Griffon, Minotaur, and Pony for themselves!” Pinkie shouted running past.

“Wait, what?” Flynt was getting seriously confused when he felt the ground rumble and a shadow cover most of the land. He turned about to see what was the cause and felt his eyes widen.

Approaching was a living wave of ponies. Earth Ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, and Alicorns taking up most of it. All of them were shouting something about how they should be paired with the Mane Six or how amazing they were.

“Should we run?” Flynt asked, looking up.

“Eh, its not much of a plan but it’s perfect plan” Deadpool said shrugging his shoulders.

“RETREAT!” they both shouted, high tailing it out of there.

The day would later become known as OC-Day, the day every poorly made OC invaded Equestria at the same exact moment. The stress on the fabric of reality couldn’t handle the sudden influx and was torn asunder, beings from other realities were sucked in as well causing even more confusion and chaos.

Discord was released from his stone imprisonment but was promptly taken down by the OC ponies saying how he was either to be paired with them or be turned female and then paired with them.

---

(Authors notes. Welcome to the end of another chapter of the Chronicles of Flynt. If you’ve made it this far, you somehow managed to stomach my writing and for that I thank you. You must have some kind of iron gut to get here without getting sick of this. Next, if you’re wondering about the omake that was just something I needed to get off my chest. Ever since reading the ‘How Ever Shipfic Would Actually Happen’ bonus chapter, and ‘Alicorns, Alicorns Everywhere’ something had to be done otherwise I’d go crazy. I’d recommend both, they’re pretty good. Unless of course you’re a FlutterxMac fan then I suggest staying away from the first one.)

Comments

[lightost]

why did you cansle this fanfic. it was one of the best i'v read in a while. or is this just temperary