Figuring It Out

Night had fallen and Luna’s moon had risen over the tired city. San Di-neigh-o was exhausted after the biggest event it holds each year. While it might just seem like a simple convention celebrating popular culture and media, it was far more than that to those who attend. For those ponies, it is a four-day celebration in which like minded individuals from all over Equestria can share their interests, meet fellow fans and creators, and just take a break from their daily life to enjoy whatever they might be a fan of. However, as it is the night of the final day of the convention, many ponies are already tired and are preparing to return to their normal life. Nevertheless, the city is still alive with visitors to the city for the convention, such as two white-coated ponies who are seated at an outdoor café just a short trot away from where the convention was held.

“Are you okay, Blank Canvas?” the white earth pony asked her friend.

The white pegasus was drinking her water as if she had been through the desert for the past five days. She lowered the glass to look across the table, “I’m fine, Charity, I’m fine,” she said between pants, “just thirsty is all.”

Charity couldn’t help but to raise her hoof up to her mouth to giggle, “I’d say.” Her golden mane bounced as she chuckled.

“This is normal. Conventions can take a lot out of you,” Canvas explained as she pushed her purple and pink mane out of her eyes. She pointed to the giant bags of items that the two of them got over the weekend that rested on the ground nearby, “You can’t say we didn’t get our fair share at the convention.”

Again, she giggled, “That’s true. I guess I wasn’t prepared for a convention this big.” She turned to look at the convention center.

“This is the biggest of them all. It makes the Clash Of The Cosmos Con look like nothing,” Canvas explained, “Sure, we might have the biggest convention for that fandom, but we are nothing compared to this convention here.”

“How many ponies showed up to Clash Of The Cosmos Con? You know, where we met?” Charity asked.

Canvas slumped in her chair as she started to think. “Uh….last year, I think we had an attendance of about….eight thousand or so? I don’t remember the exact number. That’s Mane Event’s department, not mine. But this convention, every year it’s easily over one hundred eighty thousand.”

Charity was dumbfounded by the number, “Really? Just in that building there?” She was given a nod from Canvas before she looked back at the now almost vacant building with a dropped jaw. “Astounding.”

“Heh, yeah, this is the biggest convention of them all. I’ve been waiting for this weekend all year, and just like every year before, it did not disappoint,” Canvas mused before looking at the earth pony across from her, “Thanks for tagging along with me.”

“Oh, of course!” Charity smiled brightly, “I wouldn’t have missed it for all of Equestria! You kept on saying how much fun it was and I just had to see it for myself!”

“So, what’cha thing of it?”

“Of this convention?”

Canvas nodded as she raised the glass of water back up to her mouth.

Suddenly, Charity became a little bashful, “Well, truth be told, I felt it to be a bit overwhelming. All these ponies, dragons, griffons, and others, just here for this single convention, it’s just a bit of sensory overload, you know?” She nervously laughed at her own statement before adding on, “Tons of ponies I don’t know, ponies dressed up in all sorts of characters, and just watching you….doing whatever you do. You seemed to know exactly what you were doing. You knew everypony, you knew what to do and what not to do, knew all the shortcuts around the building, and you even had a little survival bag you brought with you every single day. You were super prepare for anything. As for me….well, it was….a bit too much for me.” Awkwardly, Charity rubbed one of her front legs with the other.

“Oh, I hope you weren’t too freaked out about all of this,” Canvas spoke.

Quickly, the earth pony raised her hooves up and waved them in front of her, “Oh no! Don’t think of it that way! I’ve never been to anything like this before, so it was somewhat expected! I’ve only been to Clash Of The Cosmos Con, remember? I’ve never been to something this before, much less this area of Equestria.”

Canvas smiled a little, “Well, I hope this doesn’t stop you from wanting to do more conventions like this in the future.”

Charity returned the smile and nodded quickly, causing her mane to bounce, “Oh, I will love to do something like this again! But I maybe not having my return trip cut so close to my shift tomorrow.”

“Ugh, don’t say that!” Canvas raised her hooves up to her ears and plugged them, “La la la, I can’t hear you, I can’t think of work right now, la la la.” She continued this, causing Charity to laugh at the scene.

A waiter came by and refilled the water in both mares’ glasses. “Are you mares ready to order?”

Charity was the first to answer, “Yes, may I get a hay burrito, please?”

“Of, course,” the waiter scribbled away on the notepad before turning his attention to the pegasus, “And for you, miss?”

As if she had this planned out, Canvas spoke, “I’ll also have a hay burrito, extra guac and salsa, and a horchata for both of us.”

“Very good, I’ll put those in right away,” the waiter finished writing and went on his way.

“What did you order?” Charity asked.

“Horchata. It’s a drink. It’s like rice and milk had a wonderful, sweet baby.”

The earth pony still looked confused.

“Well, I thought since you weren’t from the area, I figured you might want to indulge in the local cuisine a bit. I know I want to. I’ve been dreaming about this burrito for months,” Canvas explained.

“You’ve eaten here before?”

“Totally. After every convention, I come here to get food to indulge and relax. You know, enjoy my break from life.”

Charity took a sip of her water, “You seem like you really don’t want to go home.”

A laugh escaped from Canvas, almost sounding forced, “Why would I? This place is great, I love this convention!”

“But we all got to go home. We got to go back to work,” Charity explained.

Canvas looked off into the distance, somewhere behind Charity, “I just don’t wanna go back.”

“But why?”

Canvas was quiet. She looked down at the table, then at various passerbys, anywhere but at her friend.

“Canvas?”

“I don’t wanna go home. I don’t wanna go back to my normal life….”

“Why?”

Finally, she made eye contact. Her voice was full of anxiety, “Because my normal life sucks. I feel like it’s nothing but a horrific, nightmarish routine. An endless cycle of mediocrity that I will never break free from.”

Charity leaned in, listening close.

“I have a miserable, lonely life back in Baltimare. A single bedroom apartment, a bland day job, and the only thing I have to look forward to are these conventions. They are the only beacons of light I have in my dismal existence.” Canvas sighed, “Sorry, didn’t mean to drag the conversation down like that.”

“No, no, it’s okay! I’m actually happy you shared!” Charity smiled hopefully.

Canvas raised her eyebrow in confusion, “Huh?”

“You’re sharing how you feel with me, and I think that’s great,” the earth pony explained.

“I’m….still confused….”

“Well, I just love listening to others share things about themselves with me. It lets me see who the pony is on the inside,” Charity explained.

The pegasus was still baffled, “So….you want me to continue to tell you why I more or less hate my normal day-to-day life?”

Charity gave a smile that seemed a mixture of sincerity and embarrassed.

Canvas shrugged, “If you insist, Charity. I’ve just always felt I’ve been stuck in a rut since high school. I wasn’t all that great of a student, and when I somehow got to college, it didn’t change. And believe me, I made plenty of mistakes then. Now that I’m in the real world, I’m barely getting by. It still feels like there’s this weight pressing down on me, smothering me. But here, at conventions, I feel like I’m truly alive and have some sort of purpose. I help make the convention a truly memorable experience for others, whether I’m helping run the convention or just an attendee chatting with others. But when it’s all over, I just feel like I’m all used up. I then have to wait to feel like I have some sort of use or purpose again.” Canvas looked up to see Charity staring at her intensely, hanging on every word that she spoke. The pegasus blushed fiercely and looked away, “Guh, that sounds so corny….”

“No, it’s not! It’s okay, Canvas! I think we all feel that way at some point in our lives. We all want to feel some sort of purpose in our life. You’re still figuring it out, just like me.” Charity seemed to get more animated as she continued, “Do I want to work in retail for the rest of my life? Goodness no! But I’m still working to figure out just what kind of pony I am. Some days are just slower with the change than others, I guess.”

Canvas still looked elsewhere, trying not to make eye contact with Charity. Her cheeks were still a faint pink.

“We’re all growing, we’re all changing. Change is good for us, otherwise it would feel….well, it would feel boring! But I guess it sometimes feels like we aren’t changing as fast as we’d hope.” The earth pony took a pause to take a much needed drink of water, “Just because you’re life isn’t all that you had hope doesn’t mean it’s not great. Every storm cloud has a silver lining. There are plenty of little things that you can see the beauty in. Like being able to go to a convention on the other side of Equestria, or meeting with some of your favorite authors and artists, or….” She started to trail off.

“Or just sharing a post-convention meal with a good friend?” Canvas looked up to make brief eye contact with Charity. She had a small smile on her face.

Charity smiled back, “Or sharing a meal with a good friend, exactly! It’s small things like that which give our lives such beauty.”

The hopeful expression on Canvas’ face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, “But, I’m still afraid I’ll never amount to anything more than what I am….”

“Nonsense!” Charity exclaimed loudly, so much so that it startled some nearby birds, “You helped create a convention from scratch, and it’s known throughout the land! And just this weekend, I saw you brighten other pony’s lives by just being you! Like that one author who looked so run down and depressed as his own table. You went up with your book for him to sign and, for the next twenty minutes, you made him feel like he was the center of Equestria. All because you read and enjoyed his book. And then there were the two little fillies that were in line behind us, you let them go in front of us so they could meet the voice of their favorite character. Did you not see the stars in their eyes? And do I have to remind you when you gave your last bottle of water to the volunteer who was working outside in the heat? I know who you are, Blank Canvas, and you are a pony who loves to help others.”

Canvas’ face had a smile, as if her friend’s words had not only reached her, but deeply affected her. “Love is a strong emotion,” she quietly joked.

“And accurate,” Charity proudly proclaimed. Her tone turned softer one as she leaned on the table toward Canvas, “Don’t let the heavy thoughts sink in. Don’t be afraid to dream. And, most importantly, don’t forget you have friends who can help. I’ll be happily to pick you back up when you fall. I know you would do the same for me.”

The pegasus looked at the white mare in front of her. Luna’s moonlight shined down onto Charity’s mane, causing the white strand to seemingly glow amongst the blonde hair. Canvas smiled in earnest, “You’re right, I would. But you really think it’ll all be okay in the end? This isn’t some sort of fairy tale.”

“I’m sure it will,” Charity reached across the table and grabbed one of Canvas’ hooves with both of hers, “As long as we got each other.”

Canvas smiled, “Yeah, you’re right.”

Charity mirrored the smile, beaming brighter than Celestia’s sun.

The two ponies looked up into the sky above them. Through the lights that illuminated the city, the stars in the night sky were visible.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Charity commented.

Canvas smiled and mused as she looked at the earth pony, “With beautiful company.”

The sound of nearby hooves, startled the two mares, who quickly let go of one another. The waiter had returned with their order. Looking at the two, he saw both were flushed in the cheeks and giving one another quick, almost guilty glances. He simply smiled as he trotted over with the food.

“Pardon the interruption, but I have one hay burrito with extra guacamole and salsa,” he placed the plate before Canvas, “and one regular hay burrito, and two horchatas,” he placed the other plate before Charity and set the beverages down on the table. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” With that, the waiter disappeared back into the main restaurant, leaving the two ponies alone out on the patio.

Both Charity and Canvas looked at each other and laughed together over their awkwardness.

“It seems we were almost caught,” Charity covered her mouth as she giggled.

Canvas smiled and watched as her friend laughed. She was quiet for a moment before speaking, “I wanna do this again. I wanna see you again when we go back home.”

“Like what?” Charity’s face became a little pink “Like a date?”

The pegasus’ face became slightly flushed again. “You’re words, not mine,” She laughed, “But more than anything, I don’t want this feeling to end.”

Charity blushed more, “I agree, I don’t want it to end either. Let’s!”

Canvas raised up her glass of horchata into the air, “To conventions and to our friendship!”

The earth pony followed suit, “Hear, hear!”

Both took a drink of the beverage.

“Oh my, you were not kidding when you said it was sweet!”

“Haha, I told ya!”

“Is that cinnamon I taste?”

“Has a great flavor, doesn’t it?”

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