Autophobia

by Ice Star

Division

separation by another name
invisible walls
to keep them apart
and keep them away from the world

a barrier to block their powers
as soon as the two tired fillies had stepped inside
weed out the possibility of escape
cage them in a little valley
the wizard would keep the little goddesses
their horns and wings
Her waving mane
marked them as trophies
burdens
ignored experiments and nothing more
pieces to ponder
mysteries to boast of

of course she noticed first
the charm that made them dizzy while standing still
so even the snow seemed to fly crooked
her eyes, such perceptive things
the color of neither daytime sky
or the world in bloom
those eyes that saw something beyond what was in front of them
they picked up on everything first
the paths of escape, the concealed exits
she first knew that the wizard had cast a charm
to steal the escape from their minds
swirl the memory like the stars in his mark

a short frantic scream
the bluebird of happiness seeing their invisible cage
shouted her accusations
at the wizard for bringing them here
at Her for allowing it to happen

wings unfurled
she took off
for the clouds
for the mountains
for anywhere but where they were
quicker than any eye could follow
a rebellious bolt of lightning
fierce and bright
charging the air
longing for her feral freedom
she slammed into a wall unseen by all
but her freedom loving heart

little blue angel
feathers burned black at the edges
falls
to
the
ground
crying
out
when she's grounded once again
sides mottled with
purple bruises
pebble-inflicted cuts
broken feathers trampled into the stone
she looked at Her with tears in her eyes
which asked all the questions that She had no answer too
her mouth hurling the truth at them both
long before She would ever know it

liar
bigot
hero
the wizard
he rises above the sun
who can hardly stutter
out a few words of speechless comfort
to the defiant one
this wizard was all they had
he took them in where others had cast them out
he looms over Her, She who has no crown to shield Her
to protect anything anymore
braces for all the raging shouts that he yells into the snow-filled air

he tells Her to make that one be quiet
she's too injured to fly, her legs are streaked with blood
to this day She cannot understand how she found the strength to stand
to endure anything so cruel

because She didn't
before Her eyes, clouding Her heart, Her mind, every part of Her
She sees the little shadow
that She loved
that She shielded
that She took everything for
the little shadow who still had hopes and dreams intact
even when she could barely stand

She didn't dream
She was a good filly
She did what She was told
She forgot Herself
She wanted a life all Her own

thin gold thread, little ray of sunlight
takes no more
forgets everything in one moment
a furious scream from the bearded stallion
is all it takes
to wedge each little bit of Her distant heart apart
once and for all
to make Her cave into the little voices
that She always held at bay
doubts
whispers
anything but the truth
it's why She listened to them in the first place

She doesn't need any more encouragement
nothing matters
there's too much crying
too much screaming
all Her little voices chant on and on
Her hoof is already flying as the wizard's cry rings out:

"EITHER YOU HIT HER OR I DO!"

ugly furious words followed by an angry shriek of Her own
angry twisted guttural thing that dwarfs a dragon's roar
in Her clouded mind
eyes that now see past the bruise on the little shadow's face

only a shadow
go the little whispers She'll bury when She sleeps
she's only a shadow now
you're finally free

free of what they never said
She never stopped to ask
but She still remembers
the dreaded howl of everything to come
Her shadow's pained call
heralding the misery and despair
which like the snow
would surround them all

it was the memory of the wolves
who in their forest echoed that call
immediately after the elder's silhouette
overshadowed the screaming angel
the whole valley shook

in the present moment She stared
at the hole She had burned in the centuries old wall
as clear as glass and as strong as hate
She was here again
the temporary puncture closing behind Her
and a single thought in Her mind

after all, the wizard had one thing right
divide and conquer

how far they had fallen