Autophobia

by Ice Star

Canterlote

here She stands
in the garden
all alone

how noticeable that is now
how will She ever learn to get used to this

the statue does not respond
She does not expect it to

She needs a home
somewhere that won't
break
Her
heart
every time She sees it

now that Her constant is gone
She needs company
She wants to define Herself
by lying
by placing all the rooks
mages
knights
and pawns
around Her

brick by brick
She'll build another wall
try to blink away the black and white
like She did Her tears

they'll build walls too
ponies that were only ever Hers
it's Her own fault
the gray stone will go
painted over by a layer of white
if only to reassure Herself
that She isn't the villain
despite what Her feelings say
green gardens because she loved to be outside

She'll try to pretend
that everything's alright
until She leaves
alone

to Her that was such an ugly word

She'll leave alone
to find the start
of the thread that became so knotted
and when She returns
She'll smile
warm on the outside
for all to see
cold fickle heart
until She finds yet another constant
to share Her light

She'll smile all the while
they build a castle in her absence
a shrine to an unsure god
who cannot bear to go unloved
by a single soul
to be alone