• Published 29th Jul 2016
  • 2,753 Views, 78 Comments

Autophobia - Ice Star



[Poetry] After Luna's banishment, a guilt filled Celestia searches for answers. Trying to gain a new understanding of what caused her sister's misery, she visits the valley that she left long ago, where everything must have started.

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vol. 1


our name is luna...
...our feathers were burned when we slammed against the barrier...
...again. burned feathers. we have to heal ourself each time but we must stay hopeful. positive. we can escape and then convince Tia to come with...
...starswirl found out about our plans after we confided in Tia...
...how could she betray us? why does she not want to leave?
...three days and no food won't hurt us, we are not mortal at least we still have you little book...
...one night spent crying, two spent curling into a ball because it was cold and the window broke...
...it is over but starswirl is still desperate to see us wither. no food for a month. no support from Tia. this time our speech was blamed, we are not to talk as we do...
...today we...
...what does he wish to starve us for so badly? it is not working but sometimes we do feel a little dizzy...
...learn magic control learn magic control forget your sister exists all in the life of Tia who will not even let us call her that any more...
...twelve fairly unsuccessful escape attempts and a lot of not so successful at all ever ones...
...the tallies under the rug are quite a legion now little battalions of five and five to remind us of our misery...
...maybe just one more time...
...caught. Solara, as she shall now be called, hit us. again. we are such a bad foal says she and we called her a bad sister and smack and now we are up here crying and confiding to you little volume even though silly Solara tells us how grateful we should be to learn magic...
...maybe we should just stop for a little while. her slap still stings. does she regret this at all?...
...there's so much to see from this tower...
...if we stop trying to escape so stupidly we can go outside again and maybe try again and everything will be okay...
...but there are plenty of books to read in here...
...we are learning so much more than Solara is from that boor...
...if only we could go outside to practice all we have read to get a better grasp on this...
...it is so nice to be alone, it has always been something we love, but we loathe to be alone and sad...
...it appears starswirl will be releasing us from the exile he believed will teach us a lesson. ha! how wrong he is!...
...tomorrow we really will be released, it is really so! even though we will not directly challenge starswirl we shall not submit to anypony, nor shall we cease attempting our escapes! we are strong and we will become stronger, did we not raise the moon all by ourself?
...this time we will lay out the plan for a grand, infalliable escape for when our power and form have found a way to blend we will not be stopped, we can't be this place is doing something to Solara because we know our sister is still deep down there and we must try...
...there must be hope, no matter how sad we are...


vol.2


...hundreds of entries clutter our old journal, so we needed you little book, your pages clean and new...
...we think the sadness is getting worse...
...is it sadness?...
...sadness does not feel this empty...
...this deep, this long...
...we are not lonely...
...lonely is only something we feel when around ponies...
...this feels like being lost, we write so much more, neat cramped hoof-writing that fits in each page...
...still, we can only write so much...
...we are always relieved in solitude, for it strengthens and frees us...
...but ponies, Solara, this wizard, clover, and the new servant they only smother and chain us, dragging me further and further from purpose and ambition into a light that blinds our sight until our brave new world is only within us...
...hope no longer burns, but only takes a different form as these years go by and we hide among the shadows of the trees...
...hope remains only in us, only in the dark does it linger...


vol. 3


{only three entries within}
{an introduction, of sorts}
{to the faithful constant}
{as mindless and heartless}
{as the one she left}
{but this precious friend, just like the last two}
{could only bare the truth}
{and listened to her far more than She}
{allow her to write each fear and woe}
{so each time she was to read these}
{they would be shoved back in her face}
{for the kindest words she had were her own}
{well, maybe there are more than three entries}
{but She was too busy crying to read them}