• Member Since 1st Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen January 14th

Altero


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In which Princess Luna guides Twilight Sparkle on a short journey, and they discuss many things, such as Luna's fall from grace, the meaning of life, and what comes after.


I had hoped to finish this tonight, for fear of never touching the silly thing again. The mental batteries demand rest however. No promises as to when I'll finish it.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 16 )

Killing twilight right off the start, sooooo not cool.

797587
I know. It's simply. THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! :raritycry:

:trollestia:

I guess you could say that Luna finally gets a chance to tell her side of the story about her banishment, seeing as how the Equestrian history book read by Twilight Sparkle recounts the prologue story as approved by the solar princess herself, who'd be the only other surviving witness.

Looking forward to future chapters!

I don't know how this got 18 faves, but...
I guess I'll try to put up a new chapter tonight. :twilightblush:

In this section, I shamelessly steal from Visden Visdane. He's an excellent author, by the way. If you enjoy epic fantasy, he's a must.
Anyway, constructive criticism is appreciated. Try to focus on things like the characterization, pacing, and overal quality of the story rather than spelling and grammar mistakes, if you would.
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Sister evolved into Celestia!
Melancholy Protagonist evolved into Luna!
Seriously, though. I'm sorry if the lack of names in the previous chapters confused any of you, but I kind of wanted this scene to happen the way it did. Believe me, it probably irritated me more than it irritated you.

Anyway, if anyone's still reading this, please tell me what you think. Please? :fluttercry:

I'm enjoying your story and I do love me a good genesis/origin tale. The only complaint I could give is with the brevity of the chapters but that is a complaint I would register against actual printed books too.

1369207
Yeah, I find myself frustrated with the chapter length as well. I want these epic, glorious descriptions, and they just seem to fall short.
Of course, a lot of the chapters could probably be condensed as well. I'm basically writing each one as 'write for an hour and publish whatever you finish.' :pinkiecrazy:

1372883
Hah, that sounds like my writing method whenever I can focus enough on a single plot to write it anyway.

Honestly, I'm a little worried that Luna's explanation of why she was the bearer of Elemental Magic is a little weak. What do you guys think? :twilightsheepish:

Well I'm not sure if that really explains why she is the element of magic or not exactly since it doesn't really follow the point she made about Twilight being its wielder. On the other hand, I am not sure there is a better way without having her demonstrate her superior magic directly or point out that most of the magic ponies have now came from her or her students or something.

Heh, I've always loved that part about Luna that seems to get downplayed. She was strong enough for her sister to need help just to seal her away.

1399987
Fix't, hopefully. I added a little more dialogue and everything should be more clear now.
Hopefully.

1402246
Ah, that works better to demonstrate the point I think you were aiming for.

Bah. I'm not sure I like this chapter. I might rework it completely.

Minor thing:

In para. 7, did you mean to have Luna suggest "Equestra" as the world's name?

1409770
Yeah I did. I'm sorry that's not more clear.

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