• Published 29th Jun 2012
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The Journal of a civilized Parasprite - Psycho-genius brony



I'm a parasprite. So? We don't just eat, and vomit, and all that other stuff.

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Week 3

Day 15

Living as the lab rat in Twilight's library has some cons, and also some pros. One con is that every day at noon, well, so far, I get put in that machine. I apparently have a magic power of 8.8. That's almost as much as Twilight herself. She runs abunch of tests on me. I haven't tried speaking in Equestrian yet. I've improvised a telekinesis spell. It's pretty much a magic cord that makes a lasso. I throw this cord like a lasso. I can also control it with my mind. I've tried reading, but it's extrememly complex. So I usually pick the book up and whack the nearest being and force them to read to me by whacking them over and over again. I did that multiple times, and eventually Spike found out about my fear of fire. I think you can guess how. Yes I pissed him off, and he tried to set me on fire, I ran to the back of my magic sphere/cage. He found it funny that I was scared of fire, but I didn't. So eventually, I was let out, when Twilight caught me writing yesterday's entry. However, this was somehow worse than being stuck in the mana cage. Spike used his fire to boss me around, so technically, I am a slave! He threatens me with fire, and the possibility of being warped inside of Princess Celestia's Palace, and I heard a rumor (from Spike) that if you annoy Princess Celestia, her hair turns into fire and she shoots humongous fireballs at you. Seeing as she had to deal with a parasprite swarm elsewhere, she would get pissed if I teleported into her palace. In theory if I could read a book on teleportation, I could figure out how to teleport. It would come in handy when Spike gets pissed and tries to teleport me to the Princess. By the way you burn alive when you get teleported. Luckily, she was sleeping during the time and I flew back to Ponyville before Twilight noticed. This occured all over the course of 9:00PM to 12:00AM. I came back just in time for the magic machine of electric chair form torture. Yesterday was awful. Luckily, I get fed three times a day and I get to read any book in the library as long as I don't eat any of the books. Twilight decided to name me something and since she found me annoying originally, I came up with the name, Vex. It means annoying. This was extremely laughable in the beginning and twilight spent about 5 minutes laughing and then I had to drag her all the way to the hospital. I didn't really drag her there I just sent a magic emergency call. It tells every medic in a 10 mile radius. I think that radius is a little much, but it was okay. It just sends a distress call. Just pretty much some form of telepathy that is one way that both tells my location and my message. My message of course was, "Twilight sparkle has passed out. She may require medical assistance. Later I ended up with at least 50 doctors requiring medical assistance from smashing into each other. The others had nose bleeds. Eventually, Twilight got the medical assistance she required, and the doctors ended up suing each other for injuring them. It was a sad day for justice. They sued each other over an accident... that ended with many doctors unable to stand. The most damaged one was the one who got here first. Eventually they decided to sue the one who sent the distress call. However, they didn't suspect me because I was a parasprite, they didn't suspect Twilight because she was unconcious, and they didn't suspect spike because he has barely no mastery over magic. Besides if they sued me I'd be in debt! I have no money and I certainly don't have 555,000 bits. And that's how much each doctor is suing me for. 555,000 times 50 and the number shoots up to 27,750,000 bits. And this all happened this morning. The evening was casual and that's it. Goodbye for now!

Day 16

I recently learned a spell that is extremely useful when traveling in a group. It makes me virtually a living mana pool. However, if a non-unicorn pony wants to cast a spell, they can use my active magic. It can be a small booster, but I lose all my magic power. This spell should be used rarely. I believe that ths should come in handy in a pinch. That is... a pinch for someone else. I hope I make some more friends. I don't like loitering around the library all day and night. I'm going to hide in Twilight's saddlebag and wait until I go to one of her friend's houses. Owlowisious is always glaring at me suspiciously though. I find the fact of him and me stuck in this library is horrifying. I checked Twilight's calendar, and there's a group vacation to Zebraica sometime this week. They're also taking Zecora with them so they can show her her homeland. I think Twilight will spend the next few days stressing about what she's going to pack and what could possibly go wron-. I think she's started. A rocking tremor rippled through the library shaking my pen and making that line very well-placed. 1-2-3 and Twilight starts screaming for Spike to get her stuff. I believe this is bad news for me. He's lately been bossing me around and basically traumatizing me with his fire breath. Eventually I have no choice but to shoot out my magic tentacles and grab stuff from around the library. IN fact that's what he's doing right now. In a minute Boss! I have to close these statements! Bye.

Day 17

Tommorow is the day when they all go on the trip to Zebraica. I'm stowing away in Twilight's saddlebags. Zebras mainly like to travel by land so this is a road trip. I'm going to write a play-by-play of tommorow. The time getting there is a day, they're staying there for 3 days. The entire trip is going to take 5 days. I'm going to write part of this week and part of next week on the next entry. Sorry for cutting whoever is reading this off next week. Today was a normal day. Twilight was stressing if she had everything she needed for this trip. Enough food, and you know all that. Did you know that Twilight fails in the kitchen? Pinkie's specialty is pastries and you know that no one else is that advanced at making food. I however, took the liberty of reading cookbooks and I got myself into a chef state of mind. I looked out a window and suddenly found myself staring at a leaf with an idea for a splendid salad. 5 minutes later, Twilight enjoyed a wonderful lunch. She doesn't suspect that I made it though. She suspects Spike made it. Ahe also suspects that he used up all the lettuce when she was gone. She doesn't have the faintest idea. I hope I acn be of service. I'll be sure to keep my chef cam on. If she's short on food, I'll use my chef cam to spot something edible. Chef cam is also refined enough to please even Blueblood. I would enjoy it if I could swear, but everytime I'm close to, I hear a voice in my head saying, "You are not supposed to swear. This is rated Everyone. Not teen, not mature, but Everyone." I was going to say something extremely bad about Blueblood. You know what I'm about to say. If you don't sorry I can't tell you. Anyway, I'm going to prepare for my trip... in Twilight's saddle bag. I think I can use my satchel to be more hidden. I'll be messing around with magic so G'night! I think I'm going to put the trip on the next page.