• Member Since 12th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Petrichord


Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? (He/Him)

T
Source

The Order of Her Resplendent Lady's Eternal Dawn performs miracles that Princess Celestia is unwilling to perform,
And punishes the wicked in ways Princess Celestia is unwilling to do,
And spreads justice throughout the land;
Requiring not Princess Celestia's favor,
Or even awareness that they exist in the first place,
For the righteousness of their cause sustains them.

This is one such story of their holy works.

Third place in the Soft Hands Write-off Contest.

Picture belongs to Nekokevin, and will be removed upon his request.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Such soft, soft hands...

Manus Dei - Hand of God

Huh. This was very, very interesting to read. I greatly enjoyed it, but couldn't stop thinking of some demented celestial templars throughout the whole reading. Not a bad thing, I assure you. Cultists always get a chuckle out of me.

Would it be at all possible to expect a continuation of this?

Regardless of the answer, I believe I'll take a look at your other works as well.

7435166

I've actually pondered extending this into a full series, in which Princess Celestia, as the protagonist, engages in a covert investigation as to why ponies are doing horrible things in her name. It's been a while since I've tried to run a full series, and I haven't honestly done dark stuff at all, so it'll help me expand my horizons if nothing else.

Glad you enjoyed it, in any case! :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

7435771
I would be very interested in reading such series!

“The second sin: The accused, in his avarice, has strayed from the light. Though he professes to seek the light of his own volition, truth is meaningless without demonstration. As such, he shall be cast into darkness, to remain until the light breaks upon him once more.”

The third sin: The Light is not capitalized in this entire section.

It's an okay concept. A little too tied up in the central 'joke' of 'religious mantras spoken by crazy ponies can be somewhat obtuse', to the point that I'm genuinely worried I missed half the narrative because you phrased it in meaningless Radical Solarist rhetoric.

Honestly, the long and short descriptions paint a far more interesting and multi-faceted story than the one actually presented, at least to my eyes. The descriptions and cover art suggested a cadre of off-the-books Celestial Templars with terrifying efficiency and a fervor that would be admirable if it weren't being channeled through such a warped and perverted view of Celestia. The story proper was about a bunch of crackpot latching onto an exaggeration of a non-religion and using dark magic to reinforce their meaningless rhetoric.

Decently well-written, but I feel like there were missed opportunities. Of course, it's more likely I'm just being grouchy and entitled because I'm tired, and you should take most of what I say with a grain of salt.

7447710

Honestly, the long and short descriptions paint a far more interesting and multi-faceted story than the one actually presented, at least to my eyes. The descriptions and cover art suggested a cadre of off-the-books Celestial Templars with terrifying efficiency and a fervor that would be admirable if it weren't being channeled through such a warped and perverted view of Celestia.

This would have been a cool story idea, don't get me wrong; i would read something like that for sure, if it was done well. The problem is, I don't trust myself to do it well - hitting the right balance between making templars seem like a force for good and making the templars seem like an unwitting instrument of misery requires a delicate touch, and i think my writing skills are too ham-fisted to hit that balance quite yet.

I might get around to a story like that in the future, when i feel like i'd be more able to pull it off. Of course, I'd have to change the subject matter, but...

Jet Set sighed. “Okay. Sure. What do i need to do?”

Here is an oops.

You know how the universe is a hologram and how you should really buy gold? Good, take a review for now!

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