- Member Since 23rd Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Oct 25th, 2018
Master_Ovan
Well, I'm a pretty chill guy, 17, almost 18. Live in Frederick, MD. I love My Little Pony, Rarity is best pony by the way.
Master_Ovan
Joined 23rd Oct, 2011 ·
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NOOOOO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
WHY!?
Christ man, now I've gotta do something manly to try and forget this.
I don't think there's anything manly enough though.
Take these 5 stars, and turn them into a happy ending.
For the love of god, PLEASE!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
OH GOD WHY?! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?!
What is the motivation of those stallions to kidnap them? (just for rape purposes?)
Why would they be so dumb as to let Rarity have her magic? (Seeing as they have killed many other ponies before)
Couldn't Rarity have just teleported away in the first place?
Why do the rapists all seem so disorganized? (I'd think rapist bandits would have something to stop Rarity from using magic, or at least the pegasi could have flown when they wanted to catch Fluttershy, there were at least two of them)
Who are the rapists? Where are rarity and Fluttershy?
Why is Rarity down for sex after being dropped to the ground and having a bloody chest?
What time is it? Where is everything? What do these rapists look like?
Why haven't the unicorn rapists used magic to subdue them? (If Rarity can mash one of them into a wall, I'd think that they could too)
This story goes really fast, doesn't have enough details, and, in addition to the previous questions, we don't really have any background about Rarity and Fluttershy's previous interactions.
Although your grammar and spelling seems fine, you mixed present and past tense once ("Fluttershy tilts her head...")
I hate to lay on the complaints like this, but more detail would address most of the questions and improve this story.
43305 Thank you for your input, it has been duly noted and I will take it to heart when writing my next story. I appreciate it ^^
If the dumbasses (no pun intended) hadn't spent so much time fooling around, fluttershy might have been able to save her. But still, very,very good story.
Also where did you come up with the idea for this story? It is very well done and unique. I've had a few ideas for books before (none of those being about MLP) but I wanted to know where writers find most of their inspiration.What was it, that gave you your idea?
I...I seriously cried after reading this...I tried to play Call of Duty to get over it and I came back to tell you that it didn't work...well done man...this guy deserves a medal or something.
You monster! Now I need to go eat a tub of ice cream and watch "the notebook" to feel better. I hope you're happy....
Take these 5 starts and have away with you!
Am i heartless bastard for not crying at this?
Oh.... oh dear.....
153459
YES
this is so sad i cant even think of anything to say about it
wow man wow , after they finally confess there love for each other you go and do something like that, wow.
in the words of a famous tv show: WHAT A TWIST!!
NOOO!!!
Why did it have to end like this? They deserve better!
I mean you just..... you can't... I mean.....
This is a wonderful story, I will give you that and I appreciate the Flutterty ship, but.... this sadness... I have to find a way to over come it...
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
I just glanced at the comments..... Is there a sad ending? I hate those... But i shall read it anyway!
I read the SFW version of this on dA about a year and a half ago and was quite moved by it. It was the first shipfic I had ever read, and at first I was reluctant to read something that paired Flutters with someone else, but that passed quickly thereafter. Thank-you.
Pros:
- Good plot-line, few inconsistencies
- Characters are true to their character
- Good description
- Good pacing
Cons:
- Spelling & grammar
- Often inaccurate biological/medical attributes
- Rushed end
- Insincere clop scenario
- Fluttershy doesn't follow the stages of grief (also, talking after you just found out someone who you care about has died, is damn near impossible.)
- Either sad or Tragic, but not both! Tragic would fit the description more accurately
- Use a thesaurus for more sophisticated language
Good fic overall, i liked it. I'll probably recommend it to my other brony compatriots. Best of luck in further writing ventures!
Why?!?!???!!?
I have never cried so much in my life
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