There's Something Screwy Goin' On Around Here

by No1MporXant

Chapter 5

We then rejoin Twilight & Spike who are still trying to ditch Screwball.

"Hopefully now we finally got away from her" said Twilight.

Suddenly a piece of the background from the left side of the screen flips around like a classic rotating book case that leads to a secret room from a mystery story, and Screwball appears on the left side of the screen and says to Twilight(who is on the right side of the screen) "Ya moved, didn'tcha?".

"Gah!" Twilight shouts in a startled manner.

Twilight then asks Screwball in a frustrated manner "How did you even do that?!".

"Do what?" Screwball asks.

"That coming right out of nowhere thing you just did" says Twilight.

"What you mean flip the background around?" Screwball asks, "pphhtt, Anypony can do That, it's easy, here, watch & learn".

Screwball then takes her forelimb & hits the background as if it were a wall, then the entire screen rotates around with such great speed that Spike is sent flying to the left & goes off screen, while Twilight ends up on the left side of the screen & Screwball ends up on the right side, but something weird has just happened to Twilight & Screwball, they somehow swapped species with each other, meaning that Twilight is now an Earth Pony while Screwball is an Alicorn.

Twilight gasps in shock.

Then Screwball says "Sorry, stuff like this sometimes happens when I do that, (giggles) guess this makes Me an Alicorn Princess now".

"I don't think so" says Twilight.

Twilight then looks at the background and says "Hmm, so you did that like This?".

Twilight then hits the background causing it to quickly flip around again, placing Twilight on the right side of the screen while Screwball is on the left side, and they've returned to their normal species, only now they've swapped color schemes, meaning now Twilight's coat is purple-ish pink with her mane now dark purple with white streaks etc., while Screwball's coat is now grayish purple with her mane now dark blue with pink highlights etc.

When Twilight sees this she gasps in horror.

"You know that is a pretty good look for you" says Screwball.

Twilight growns in frustration, then flips the background around again.

The 2 mares return to normal, only now they're skiing down some snowy mountains, riding on a pair of skis built for 2, with Twilight on the left side of the screen while Screwball is on the right, both of them have determined looks on their faces until Twilight looks towards the camera with a confused look on her face, then she makes a serious face & flips the background around again.

Suddenly Twilight & Screwball are up on a stage(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), both dressed-up in Russian-style clothes, are surrounded by 2 Bison both dressed in Russian-style garb, and the 4 of them are doing a Russian Cossack Dance(similar to how some of the Picnic Ants in the 1947 Looney Tunes short "The Gay Anties" did after eating some Russian Rye Bread), they do the Squat Kick move to the music going *da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da* then they all shout "HEY!", then they all place their left hooves at the top of their heads and step-dance to the left of the stage(with the camera panning to the left in order to follow them), and the music goes *da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da* then they all shout "HEY!", and Twilight manages to flip the background around again right at that point.

Then we end up in a baby nursery, and now Twilight & Screwball have turned into babies lying on their backs in baby baskets that are facing each other(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), and Twilight is sucking on a pacifier while Screwball just makes a bunch of adorable baby gibberish & giggles, then Screwball flips the background again.

Twilight & Screwball return to full-grown mares, only now their designs look like Generation 3.5 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight then says "Eeeeww!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like Generation 3.0 Ponies(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), Twilight then says "Gross!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like G2 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight then says "Blech!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like G1 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), Twilight then says in a more satisfactory manner "huh, well this one's actually not half-bad", then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up surrounded by a pride of Manticores both Males & Females(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), while Screwball makes a happy face at all of this, Twilight gets so scared that she leaps into Screwball's forelimbs Scooby-Doo style and let's out a medium pitched scream, then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up surrounded by the heads of a Hydra(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), but now Screwball is in Twilight's forelimbs Scooby-Doo style, Screwball is still making a happy face, but Twilight let's out slightly higher pitched scream, then flips the background around again.

Suddenly then 2 Mares end up in a cave cornered by a Bug-bear on the right side of the screen, and both mares are on the left side of the screen, only now Screwball is standing on top of Twilight's back in the style of *We Bare Bears*, Screwball is still making a happy face, and a frightened Twilight goes "Eeeheee!", then flips the background around again.

The 2 Mares lose their balance after that last flip & fall down landing back on the left side of the screen, this time they end up in what appears to be the old Golden Oak Library, looking exactly how Twilight & Spike left it before Tirek blew it up, Twilight gets up & looks at the background, then asks "Whoa wait a minute, Isn't this the-", but while Twilight is talking Screwball gets up, moves to the right side of the screen, then flips the background around again before Twilight can even finish her question.

The 2 Mares then end up in what looks like the tower of the Crystal Empire's Castle, the one where King Sombra originally hid the Crystal Heart(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), when Twilight notices this she looks at Screwball and shouts "HEY!", then Twilight moves to the left of the screen & pushes Screwball to the right of the screen while saying "Go back, Go Back!", Twilight then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up in a cave with a huge fire-breathing Dragon in the Background guarding a mountain of gold & jewels(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), when Twilight notices the dragon she goes "Eeeeek!", then the dragon who already noticed them breathes fire at them, as the fire breath is coming towards them Twilight shouts "GO FORWARD!", then flips the background before the fire can hit them.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become game pieces of a *Connect 4* game(looking like the game pieces are windows with Twilight & Screwball inside them), then another Screwball game piece drops down to make 4 in a row, then all of the Screwball pieces shout "Connect Four!", then the Screwballs flip the background.

Suddenly we see Twilight is a game piece of a *Sorry* board game(with her head on the top of the game piece & her tail is sticking out from the lower section), then a Screwball game piece slides in from the right off screen & knocks the Twilight game piece off screen to the left, then Screwball says "Sorry", then uses her tail to flip the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become pegs in a car game piece in the *Game of Life* board game(with their heads on the top of the pegs & their tails sticking out), the car is moving to the left with the camera panning to follow it to the left, Screwball is in the front of the car with Twilight right behind her, the car stops at an unknown square, then Screwball says "Woohoo, That's how you play it in the Game of Life", then she flips the background again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are floating in pitch black nothingness, and are just outlines of themselves made of a bunch of dots of light like a *Lite-Brite*(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), then Screwball says "Whoa look at us, we're made out of lights that shine so bright", then Screwball becomes a spiraling line that passes through Twilight while saying "We're like beautiful colors-", then Screwball reforms herself on the left side of the screen & says "-Come to Life".

Then Twilight(who's now on the right side of the screen sarcastically says "Yeah, that's groovy", then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become claymated versions of themselves made of *Play-Doh*(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), they start as puddle-like blobs, then they form into Pony shapes, then Screwball says "Wow, it looks like we're made of some kind of Dough that you're supposed to Play with, if you catch my word-play".

Twilight then just does a face palm & says "Doh!", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares have turned into MLP:FiM style Dragon versions of themselves(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), and Screwball belches out some fire, then beats her chest with one hand & says "Hoo, got to lay off those Spicy Radish Omelets for breakfast", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares have become Female Humanoid *Transformers* versions of themselves(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), the two look at each other & go "Huh?", then they leap up & transform into their Pony Forms, then they look at each other for a second, then Screwball says "Maybe it's better that you DON'T ask about that".

Twilight just goes "Agreed", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are floating in Outer Space, and they both look like Equinoid Aliens(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight is now green with 6 legs & no wings, while Screwball is now red with 3 tentacled eyes like a slug, neither of them say a word, and after a few seconds Twilight just flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are back to normal(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), and they're on some snow covered mountains, with Twilight standing right next to a train tunnel, we then hear a train whistle blowing to indicate that a train will be coming, Twilight looks down the tunnel then goes "Daahh!".

Then Screwball starts whirling her forelimb around & around until it looks like a tornado, then she Slams the background with such tremendous force, that the background begins endlessly rotating at great speeds, Twilight & Screwball both get caught in the rotation, and are stuck to the wall of the background like they were on a Centrifugal Force simulator used to train astronauts(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Screwball then says "Wheeee, Isn't this Fun?!".

Then Twilight shouts "Somepony Stop This Crazy Thing!".

Screwball then shrugs with a sigh and says "If That's what you want", then she lifts her forelimb up, then slams it back down on the background that she's pinned to, then the background stops so instantly fast that both Twilight & Screwball are thrown off screen to the right.

We then hear a splash from off screen & see some water come in from the right of the screen, the camera then pans over to the right, and we see that Twilight & Screwball have landed head first into a full barrel of water, all we see are their lower halves sticking out of the barrels mouth(Twilight on the left side of the barrel & Screwball on the right side).

Then Twilight struggles to move while trying to talk, but all we hear are a bunch of Blubbing sounds, and while Twilight is doing this Screwball makes her tail get into a question mark like pose, then Screwball uses her tail like a hand to pull on a string attached to the barrel that just came right out of nowhere, then the barrel opens like the blades of Window Blinds, but that only makes it like a window into the barrel so we can see into the barrel but the water doesn't move.

Then we see Screwball look at Twilight's face & she actually speaks but with a gurgle in her voice, and Screwball says "I'm sorry What did you say?".

Then Twilight pushes her face into Screwball's and angrily makes a bunch more Blubbing sounds.

Then Screwball nonchalantly says with a gurgle in her voice "Oh that's what I thought you said".

Then Screwball uses her tail like a hand, grabs the lower-left corner of the barrel, then peels the whole barrel off like it was a sticker & throws it off screen, the water from the barrel lingers in place for about 2 seconds, then falls down with a splash leaving Twilight & Screwball soaking wet.

The 2 Mares get up then they shake themselves dry, Twilight remains the same, but Screwball puffs up so badly that she looks like a *Koosh Ball* with eyes, that starts floating off the ground, Screwball then giggles & says "Just call me Fluff-Ball".

Spike returns to Twilight side and says "Twilight, are you alright?".

Twilight just frustratingly says "Let's just go Spike".

Then Twilight and Spike start walking towards the left of the screen with the camera following them.

We then see Screwball climbing up a tall wooden ladder while saying "That was fun, so what do you want to play now?", then she falls but opens a parachute and as she floats down she says "Chutes & Ladders?", then she lands on an old spring mattress that bounces her off screen, but Twilight ignores it.

We then see a pile of hay with an upside-down pitch-fork sticking out of it, and a hippopotamus standing close to it, and Screwball is sitting in the Hippo's wide-opened mouth, and she says "What about Hungry Hungry Hippos?", then the Hippo closes it's mouth & appears to have swallowed Screwball, but Twilight ignores it.

But then a hatch(that wasn't there before) opens at the flank of the Hippo & Screwball comes out wearing a Top Hat with a Big White Mustache, a Monocle & a Cane, and she says "Maybe Monopoly?", but Twilight still ignores it, and Screwball makes a curious look at Twilight.

Then Screwball flies right in front of Twilight and says "Ooh ooh I know".

With a close up of Screwball she reaches behind her back while saying "How's about one of my all time favorites", then she pulls something out from her back and says "Pin the Tail on the Pony", and we see that Screwball's holding what looks like Twilight's Tail in her hock.

When Twilight sees this, she makes a shocked expression in her face, then looks at her now tail-less butt and says "Hey!".

Then Twilight uses her magic to grab & pluck her own tail from Screwball's hock and says "Gimme That!".

Then Twilight sticks her tail back in it's rightful place(making a Click-Click sound when she does it), then she wags it around a bit to see if it stays in place.

"You Won, YAY!" said Screwball in a cheerful manner.

Twilight then takes a deep breath and tries her best to have a calm conversation with Screwball, Screwball just floats in the air while Twilight says "Listen, Screwball, I appreciate that you want to be friends and hang out and stuff, I really do, but right now I don't have time for such things, I've got more urgent matters that require my undivided attention".

Screwball then points behind Twilight & says "Oh you mean like the fact that Ponyville's been under attack by a Bicorn for like 5 minutes now and all you've been doing is letting yourself get too distracted by my Screwball Antics to even realize it?".

Twilight calmly says "Exactly, that's why you need to WHAT?!"(making a shocked expression on her face at the end of that sentence).

Twilight then looks at Screwball and asks "Did you say Bicorn?!".

Screwball then says "I don't think now would be a good time to go & Buy Corn, in case you haven't noticed, there's an Evil Carnivorous Cow-Panther Monster running around Ponyville trying to eat any pony that gets in his path".

Twilight then frustratingly says "Screwball, a Bicorn is an Evil Carnivorous Cow-Panther Monster!".

Screwball then says "And what it took you this long to figure out what a Bicorn was?", Screwball then poses like she's sitting in a chair and says "I figured with all of those books you read you would have already known what a Bicorn was a long time ago", then she takes out a ceramic teacup full of a drink and says "And they say you're supposed to be the smart one", then she nonchalantly sips the drink in her cup.

Twilight is so stressed out now that she can't even form a sentence, like "Screwball, I know what a-", "I've been trying-", "You kept-", "I am the-", "You d-", "I -", then she lets out a huge angry scream, then zips away to the right going off screen.

Screwball is still just floating in her sitting position & says to Spike "That Mare really needs to learn how to deal with stress", then Screwball bites a piece of her cup off & chews on it like she's eating her ceramic teacup.

We then shift to a scene where a bunch of Ponies are running around some buildings screaming their heads off, then the Bicorn slides in from around said buildings chasing after those Ponies wanting to Eat them, and we get a good look at this Monster, it's at least as Big as a Minotaur, with a huge buff frame, Panther-like fore-limbs with paws & claws, Bull-like rear-limbs with hooves, a Panther-like tail with a Bull-like hair-tip at the end of the tail, the upper part of it's head has the horns & ears of a Bull, and the lower part of it's head has the muzzle, nose & mouth full of sharp teeth of a Panther, and makes a sound that's like a cross between a Bull's Moo & a Panther's Roar(a Moar if you will), ya this is one big & ugly brute, plus because bovines are able to talk in MLP:FiM, since this creature is part Bull it is able to talk.

The Bicorn chases after a random background pony while it Moars then says "Come here you succulent little morsel!".

When the Bicorn has the pony cornered, Twilight zaps the beast with a laser from off screen to the right, the Bicorn looks over to see Twilight, Twilight then says "Leave them alone!".

The Bicorn looks at Twilight and says "Oooh, An Alicorn, you don't see very many of them these days, and if there's one thing I like it's Rare Delicacies, sure I've dined on plenty of Earth Ponies, Pegasi & Unicorns, but I've never had Alicorn before".

Twilight says "And you're not going to today either, Now Get Out Of Our Town!"

Twilight then blasts the Bicorn with the most powerful magic blast that she can muster, unfortunately Bicorns in Equestria are known for their great resiliency to various forms of Magic, especially Pony Magic, so the Bicorn just endures Twilight's Magic Blast like it was just a harmless sandstorm, then the Bicorn laughs and says "Is That All You Got?!".

The Bicorn the Moars & Pounces on Twilight, pinning her to the ground with just 1 paw.

The Bicorn then says "You know, they say that Alicorns are the combination of Earth Ponies, Pegasi & Unicorns, let's see if you taste like all 3 of them mixed together", then licks his lips getting ready to devour Twilight.

Suddenly Screwball moves the camera away from all of this to focus on herself, then she says "Oh relax everyone, we're not really going to let that monster eat Twilight, we're just cutting to commercials here for the cliff hanger effect, so we can keep you all on the edge of your seats, don't worry I promise everything will turn out hunky-dory, right after this break", then we cut to the commercial break.