• Member Since 26th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 minutes ago

Zatoichi Vokunkiin


Just an observer from the shadows.

Comments ( 198 )

Ah, so it passed did it? *cracks his knuckles and stretches* I guess I need to get back to work then.

Hey dude, looking good so far!

Just a friendly bit of advice though, watch out for combined paragraphs! There is a couple in here that are pretty huge and could be spaced out a little differently. To me, it is an eyesore and hard to get my place back when distracted from an amount of time and nicely spaced paragraphs are huge.

I look forward to reading the next chapter.

It didn't take me long to get through this chapter, good work. :twilightsmile:

I must says it's been a different start than many of the other HiE stories I've tried to read (many of them were absolute shit by levels of grammar, punctuation, point of view, past present future tense, and idea flow). From what I've seen, you are efficient in these core areas of writing and my interest has been captured.

Lastly, I'd like to beg that you do not squander my interest in your story. It is difficult finding decent stories on this damned website. To avoid this, which I won't be able to stress enough, is to OFTENLY UPDATE THIS STORY ON A FAIRLY REGULAR BASIS!

Well, I do hope that I can keep your interst captured! I am just using my experience in roleplay and the knowledge I possess. This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. But the rules on this site seemed very strict. So I decided to wait out awhile before I would try again. Thankfuly this one came through. So I will be pushing out chapters as often as i can.

Also, second act is now available. Please enjoy.

Hmmm, I think I havet enough to push out one more chapter for tonight.

7428762

I suggest rereading this chapter when you can. There are a lot of typos and switching of tenses in inappropriate places. If you'd like, I will help you out tomorrow.

I would appriciate it. But i will see what I can do for the time being.

I fixed all the mistakes i could find. Think its all good. :P

Went to check my other chapters as well, all mistakes have been fixed.

7429173

I will do so if you'd like, just give me some time.

Let's see if I can push out another chapter or two tonight. :P

And BAM! Act 5 now available. Enjoy as always! And with that, my quota of two chapters has been filled for the evening. :)

so how do you enjoy doing stuff that requires seeing if your legally BLIND i dont get it

Lol. Being legally blind doesn't necessarly mean you are fully blind. Just enough.

Alrighty everyone, nap time then another chapter or two.

7432600 exactly it;'s the most glaring flaw in this concept.

7434968 Maybe if you saw it from this character's point of view like i do. You would understand. Being legally blind could stem from being near sighted and something called coloboma. Which in this case, one of the optic nerves in one of his eyes didn't develop all the way. which would lead to visual issues. and cant be fixed. Thus, 'legally blind' comes into play. Though, I wouldn't expect many of your to understand it. But hey, if you saw it as a flaw, that's your prerogative.

Comment posted by Zatoichi Vokunkiin deleted Aug 2nd, 2016
Comment posted by Zatoichi Vokunkiin deleted Aug 2nd, 2016

Alright everyone, I am back in business and will resume writing tonight. Got a new graphics card, and its three times more powerful than my last! :D

Alright everypony. Its time I get back to work, got lots of ideas brewing over the last few days.

Personally I believe that Taylor over reacted by a large margin with his emotional distress. Maybe if he was of a weak constitution I would see it if he killed intelligent being but no he killed two animals.

7446212 Eh, well. Considering that he didn't like the idea of killing anyone or anything without a reason. He would react like that. It makes hin wonder what he could do when and if he does kill a sentient being. I thought ahead and would think it would soften the blow to his mental state. Since he has killed for the first time. And knowing he can do it if his life depended on it. Its all in the planning :p

:flutterrage: MORE chapters!!!
:fluttercry: if its ok with you that is?

Alright. Who;'s ready for more?! *knuckles crack and neck pops*

He didn't tell them about the show

He has mentioned to them that back in his world, they were fictional characters. As for Tirek, he is returning for revenge, this is a couple years after his first attempt

Why all the space between the end and the author's note? It isn't bad or anything, I'm just wondering. :twilightsheepish:

7449401 Naah, I won't do a herd in this one. But I am planning on it in my next story!

What dose his mask look like? can you find or draw a picture of it?

7450717 I cant draw to save my life, but i can find one that resembles its structure . As for its artful side, it has black tribal markings on the sides and the eye sockets are blackened, And there is an upside down pentagram replacing where the forehead mark is

"I will look forward to the Gala now Lulu."
"Neither can I Taylor...neither can I."

theses sentences do not work together it would if it was if it was "i can't wait till the gala now" or "so will i"
sorry but thats a bit of a pet peeve for me

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