17 year old Applejack fan from Georgia, am a fan of film, tv, anime, history, practically everything nerdy
To most ponies, Applejack is just your average earth pony farmer: hard-working, good with the land, smart when it comes to working with one's hooves, but incredibly lacking when it comes to all things scientific or magical. Applejack is NOT your average farmpony, and not for the obvious reasons, mind you. Unfortunately, secrets have a way of being unraveled with Pinkie Pie around.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good story
7422581 Thanks
Interesting theory, but it's such a shame this isn't just a whole story.
This would make a good introduction to a story featuring scientifical shenanigans of Twi and AJ in town, but it kind of lacks something as a stand-alone...
7422589 Honestly, I was testing the waters to see how it would work, but thanks for the suggestion
7422592
You're welcome.
I liked it!
It feels like it stopped short. It's not bad, just jarring to have her admit something like that and have nothing come of it but a sudden end.
7422749 Hmm....
Great story! I loved how you didn't rush it up, and wrote all the details. However, this story seemed stopped all of a sudden. Perhaps you could give it a good finish. And I don't what the comedy or AU tag has to do with this either.
7424147 The AU tag is referring to the plot of the story, its meant as a WHAT IF scenario. The comedy is meant to refer to Pinkie's antics. Third, I'll have to see about giving it a better ending, thanks
7424156
An AU tag is used when it goes against the canon information in the show. You have stated that AJ keeps it her secret to love science, and she just appears like a normal farmpony. The show doesn't go against any of this, so this could happen. Another reason to use an AU tag is when you have 2 chapters with the same plot but different endings. And secondly, I think comedy wouldn't really fit with this. I know how Pinkie's acts, but I think you need to put in more comedy than just her antics. This story seems to dive more into emotions than comedy.
Hmm...
It's an interesting concept, and the storyline has potential, but this seems more like a rough draft than an actual story in and of itself. I like it, but it seems like it has the capability of expanding to either a longer one-shot, or a chapter fic, depending on what you're up for.
Since you're "Just testing the waters", however, I hope you don't mind me offering constructive criticism.
A few of the scenes could use expanding, and adding a flashback to her being teased to show why she's afraid of showing her secret couldn't hurt. I feel that there is untapped potential for great comedy and emotion in the whole thing. Also, it seems that adding a few more scenes, and going into greater detail on some scenes could bring out a bit more interest in the story.
Don't get me wrong, I like it: it's good, and imaginative. It just seems too short for the subject matter presented.
I hope you don't mind my rambling.
7424167 Hmm... good point
7424170 No no, I don't mind. Thanks for the comment
7424183
Thanks, and anytime.
7424185 Also, yeah, I do wish I made it a little longer
7424208
I can relate.
Just some friendly advice:
Whenever I wish to expand a fic, I type my additions to it into a copy of said writing (Any typing program, like Microsoft Word, or Notepad, should work for this). And then, when I finish an edition I am satisfied with, I replace the original with the edited version.
7424224 Huh, cool. Nice advice
7424231
Thanks.
7424239 No problem Sugarcube
I really love the picture it really goes with the story and I'm adding this story to my favorites.
7424787 Glad ya do
Applejack224 Your a good story writer. Hope to see more stories
7425003 Aww thx
Ehh, it was okay, but it didn't really seem to have any meat to it. Toward the end there were some really confusing grammar errors and parts that just seem odd. I won't give this a dislike, but it just feels too hollow to earn a like as it is now. I'll keep tracking this story just in case you make some improvements. Hopefully when I come back it'll earn that upvote.
7428766
7428766 Thx for the comment, Sugarcube. I do wish I had made it longer
My headcanon came true!
I've always wanted to see Applejack as a "smart math" pony... i mean, I'm pretty sure she's the one that handle taxes and such for the farm... yes, she said "fancy mathematics"... but,i said "stupid maths" and got usually A+ in the subject.........
Of course, my head is basically strongly biased to Apple pone for being my favorite pony XD
Awesome story!
7429787
7429787 I'm glad ya liked it
7429433 No problem.
That was lovely.
7520021 Thanks
7964817 Thanks
7967454 AJ fans ftw
7968117 Same here
You can has review!