Chapter 7: Job Hunt
You know there is nothing like a nice hot shower to help you feel relaxed and calm and like you can face anything the day can throw at you. I ended up taking a somewhat long shower and when I finally emerged from the room I was accompanied by a billow of steam.
I did feel weird about putting my jumpsuit back on when it hadn’t been washed but since I didn’t own any other clothes and I doubted Twilight owned any, and if she did it wouldn’t most likely be dresses or some sort and I had no plans to ever wear a dress, female now or not I am going to be a tomboy mare.
It took a few moment for me to realize I referred to myself as a mare without even thinking and I blinked at that as I was either finally getting used to things after a shower or I was due for another mental break down, out of the two id take the first one as adapting was much more preferred to mental break downs even if I didn’t plan to live as a mare forever.
Anyways I went to the last place I saw Twilight to see if she was there and all I found was spike cleaning the kitchen. “Hey there….um….”I said fumbling for his name; I had forgotten to ask what it was at breakfast.
“Spike.” The dragon said helpfully and thankfully he didn’t seem offended by my lack of memory.
I nodded in thanks before I spoke again. “Hey Spike where is Twilight?”
“She’s down in her lab.” The dragon said as he continued to wipe down the counters.
“Right….lab.” For some odd reason I was not surprised the mare had one. “Where is that?”
“First door on the left before you reach the closet door under the stairs.” Spike said helpfully.
“Thanks.” I said before turning and heading for the designated door. I gave three good knocks and waited for a response. When I received none after a couple of minutes I knocked once more and again didn’t hear anything. Shrugging I carefully opened the door. “Twilight?” I called as I looked down the stairs, seems her lab was in the basement.
When I didn’t hear anything I begin to slowly descend the stairs in my crab like manner till I neared the bottom and it was then I heard something. It wasn’t very loud but it would be impossible to mistake the gentle hum of machines, the scritting of needles on paper, the shuffling of paper and let us not forget the indistinct muttering of someone heavily focused on whatever it is they are currently doing as they talk to themselves. Needless to say I was on the right trail to finding the purple mare.
I was not prepared for what I found in the basement though.
When Spike said lab I had thought of maybe a work bench, magnifying glasses, a computer or two and few tools here and there, a place to tinker or what have you.
That was not what I found. Instead I found a room filled with a lot of equipment I couldn’t even begin to guess what it did as lights flashes and charts spilled out onto the floor. There were several stainless steel tables one of which was topped with all sorts of chemistry equipment while the other held random tools, a microscope, several books, a few test tubes, a beaker and graduated cylinder. A scattering of papers.
There was one of those containers I’ve seen used to mic potentially dangerous chemicals that will release toxic gas and you put your arms into the rubber gloves to avoid touching them. What look like a seismograph. , several chart covered the walls with sticky notes on them. I had no idea what most of this stuff was for but it looked very expensive so I was going to be extra careful I didn’t touch anything.
After getting over my shock of finding an actual lab hidden in the basement of a small town public library I noticed the person I was looking for standing in front of the only other object in the room I had yet to notice. This being a chalkboard that she was writing equations I was sure she was making up on the spot has she wrote them with the chalk held in her magic while she was nose deep in a book also held in her magic while muttering.
“Force of individual mana output, combined with the ambient innate magical energies, multiplied by users own skill. Minus target area’s resistance to alteration…” She was saying. I knew mana meant magic from several RPGs I had played and I was generally able to guess she was either talking about bending space and time to her will, or she was talking about picking up a pebble, I don’t know I’m a pegasus with an interest in history, not a unicorn with cheating magic.
Anyways before she could get much further I carefully stepped into the room and cleared my throat. This had no effect on the engrossed unicorn and I theorized that when she works she ends up in her own little world where nothing else exists but herself and whatever objects she is currently working with. This called for drastic measures.
“Hey Twilight I—“that was as far as I got before I gained the unicorns attention in a way I didn’t mean to.
“AHH!!” Twilight yelled as she jumped a good three feet off the ground, spun around in midair and landed with the book held to her chest as a shield as she gasped for breath and looked like I just caught her with her hoof in the cookie jar. After a couple moments she registered it was me and blinked several times before I noted her cheeks grew a slightly darker shade of purple, apparently it is possible to blush with fur.
“Oh….hello Scorched, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you come down and you sort of…” She trailed off.
“Scared the ever living hell out of you?” I offered helpfully.
“Yes…well…….what does that word mean?” She asked “I’ve heard you use it several times but I’ve never heard it used before.”
“What word?” I asked tilting my head to the side as is my new habit since becoming a pony.
“Hell.” She said. “I did a bit of research and couldn’t find any reference or definition for that word anywhere.” She said with a frown as if she was offended she failed to find the word.
Apparently there was no hell in this world. “It’s a word used for emphasis where I’m from, I’m not surprised you can’t find anything on it as its only really used in the very tiny area I lived in by a few of us.” I said. “It basically refers to a place of fire and brimstone that you really don’t want to go to as it contains the worst of the worst people.” Is aid.
“So it’s another word for Tartarus.” She said and I blinked in confusion as did she being confused at my confusion. “The ancient prison used to hold the most dangerous monsters known to all of Equus and is guarded by Cerberus the three headed dog.” Twilight explained and taped her chin with the chalk still held in her magic giving herself a small white goatee. “I suppose it makes sense why you might not be familiar with it as it has been a couple generations since the portal there was opened to send anything there.” She said.
And like that pony hell exists and is a place you can actually visit for a vacation if you want, lovely
Shaking off that disturbing fact and making mental note about never wanting to meet anything from pony hell I simply nodded. “yeah pretty much.” I said agreeing. “Anyways I was wondering if this town has a newspaper as my special talent is writing and so I figured I’d try to get a job writing news.” I said.
Twilight nodded. “Yes we do, it’s called the Ponyville Gazette and is owned by Good Reads.” She said with a smile. “I don’t know if they are looking for any more reporters but I’d be happy to give you directions.” She said.
I nodded. “Thanks I’d like that, also can I use this place’s address for an application since I don’t have an address?” I asked.
“Of course, you’re staying here aren’t you?” She asked with a giggle as she levitated over a piece of paper and quill, yup advanced lab equipment and using quills dipped in ink to wright, I’m starting to think Equestria’s technology level is set to whatever the hell it feels like.
She wrote down the directions to the Gazette office as well as the library’s mailing address and passed it over to me. “Thanks Twilight, I’ll be back somewhere around lunchtime if I can be.” I said.
“Hold on.” She said as I turned to leave, I looked back and a small bag poofed next to her in her magic and she held it out to me. “Take these in case you get hungry and want to eat out or something.” She said with a smile.
I blinked at the small bag of money. “No, that’s alright I’ll just come back here and you’ve already done a lot for me.”
“Scorched I insist, take it and treat yourself to something nice on me.” She said. I could tell by the tone of her voice and the look on her face I was not going to win this argument so sighing I grabbed the bag of cash and placed it into one of the pockets on my right shoulder.
“Thanks Twilight.” I said smiling. “If there is nothing else I’m going to head over to the paper’s offices and see a pony about a job.” With that I turned uninterrupted back to the stairs and headed up them, through the library and out into the streets of Ponyville to begin my hunt for a job.
<<<O>>>
The walk over to the Ponyville Gazette was as eventful as watching the grass grow for the most part, peaceful but nothing really going on. The headache inducing abilities of residents of the town due to bright color overload seemed to be greatly reduced. Either coming to terms with the fact I am a pony like them or yesterday’s time spent walking around has damaged my eyes and I can’t see as well I used to is why I’m not getting as bad of a headache. I’m going to go with that first one because it is more optimistic and I wasn’t in the mood to be a pessimist.
I ended up having to ask for some help from another pegasus carrying a mail bag due to the fact this town was set up in a totally random pattern as it seemed people just built their houses and shops wherever they felt like it and Twilight directions were written with a lot of detail that made no sense to me since I was still new here. I ended up asking the mare because if she was a mailman, or is it mailmare? Whatever, point is as a member of the postal service she would know where everything was.
I saw the pegasus rummaging around in her bag as she stood before a mailbox and walked up to her. “Excuse me but could you give me a little help?”
The mare lifted her head out of her bags and I blinked in surprise as only one of her eyes focused on me as the other rolled off a bit to the side. The mailmare smiled friendly at me. “Yes-I-can-help-you. What-do-you-need?” She asked slowly saying each word with care.
I blinked once more before pulling out the paper with the directions Twilight had given me. “I’m looking for the offices of the Ponyville Gazette but I’m new in town so don’t know my way around.” I said. “I was given some directions but this town is set up rather strangely.” I said rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. “No offence to the town.”
The mare laughed and waved her hoof. “None-taken.” She said carefully. “Their-offices-are-just-down-this-street-and-when-you-reach-Berry-Punch’s-motel-take-a-left-and-it-will-be-the-sixth-building-on-your-right.”
I nodded my head as I looked down the street. “Thanks a lot, you saved me a lot of time of aimlessly wandering around.” I said, I was always a firm believer in asking for help when lost rather than just remaining lost, saves so much more time.
“Don’t-mention-it. We-all-need-help-sometimes.” She said with a smile.
I still thanked her once more before heading up the street and leaving the pegasus to her job.
The office of the Ponyville Gazette were situated right between a grocery store and what looked to be some ones house and unlike everything else in the town wasn’t brightly colored as it was a muted blue color with a simple sign above the door that said in the most basic text imaginable “PONYVILLE GAZETTE”
Well least I knew I was in the right place.
I walked to the door and opened it before walking in. The room I found myself in was pretty much a standard waiting room with a couple of chairs, a small table with some magazines stacked on it and a potted plant in the corner. So basically it was a stereotypical waiting room you’d see anywhere.
Across from the door was a desk topped with a couple of quills, ink wells, paper, a small flower and behind it was a very board looking normal looking green furred, blue and yellow manned pony mare seeming only vaguely interested in the magazine she was looking at.
I walked up to the desk and politely cleared my throat. “Ahem…um…..” in hind sight I should have figured out how you go about asking for a job at a place like this. Either way while I was standing there trying to think of what to say the mare lethargically looked up at me and blinked. “Uh…hello I was wondering if—“
“Through the door, down the hall second door on the left.” She said in a board tone before going back to her magazine. I know I am emphasizing how board she seems but she just seems THAT board.
Either way I stood there a moment not having been prepared to be cut off like that before looking at the door on the wall she was more or less guarding. I looked back at her and it was clear that as far as she was concerned I didn’t exist anymore so with a shrug I walked over to the door and proceeded deeper into the building.
On the other side of the door was a hall lite by two lanterns hanging from the ceiling which left a lot of it mostly dark. Alone the right side of the hall were three doors, one labeled “storage/files’ and the other with a name plate that read “Blue Velvet, Sandy Cinders.” With the door beyond that being unlabeled.
The left side of the hall had just two doors on it, the first one was labeled “PRINTING PRESS” and as I reached the second door on the left it had a plaque beside it read. “HEAD EDITOR: GOOD READS” just under the plaque was a clipboard of applications. I took one of them and knocked on the door. After a moment a somewhat gruff voice called out “Enter.”
Opening the door I was greeted with the side of one wall lined with a bookshelf, the other had two painting, one of the town of Ponyville at what looked to be mid-day and the other the same scene set late at night. In the middle of the room where two cushioned chairs that sat before the desk of the editor. There was a window behind the desk, or I assumed there was based on the lighting but frankly I couldn’t see it due to the piles of papers and files that sat on the desk complexly blocking the view of the pony behind the desk. “What do you want?” the voice from before said from behind the wall of papers.
“Uh….I’m looking for work?” I said phrasing it more like a question.
“Fill out the application.” The voice said and I looked around till I spotted a quill and inkwell resting in the single clear space on the desk and I took a seat in one of the chairs. Grabbing the quill and dipping it in the ink I began the long process of filling out the application. This was a difficult task due to me trying to fill out a paper without a hard surface, and because most of the info it asked for I didn’t have.
In the end it took me about half an hour to fill out the application and the entire time the Editor remained quiet as he did whatever it was he was doing behind his wall. When I had placed the quill back where it had been when done the editor spoke up. “Pass it over.” I blinked before standing on my hind legs, using the desk for balance as I held the application over the wall and it was promptly snatched out of my hoof. “Sorry but we aren’t hiring anyone right now.” The Editor said immediately.
“What? But then why did you have me fill out the application?” I asked as I got back down on all fours.
“Because I am supposed to allow anypony to apply for a job at any time as it is your right to apply for work anywhere.” The voice said. “But we are not looking for anypony right now so have a nice day and get out of my office I am very busy.”
I scowled at the wall of paper and turned around to head for the door. I had just placed my hoof on the door handle when the editor spoke up. “Wait a moment!” I blinked and looked back to see a dark orange normal pony with slicked back red hair’s head looking at me over the wall of paper as his blue eyes read over my application. “You put your current address as Golden Oaks, is that correct?” he asked looking at me and I nodded.
An orange hoof appeared from behind the stack of paper and rubbed his chin. “Hmm…interesting…we’ve been trying to get that Twilight Sparkle to agree to an interview for weeks now but she always declines and you live with her yes?”
“Yeah, what about it?” I asked.
“She defeated Nightmare Moon and brought Princess Luna back to Equestria, she a blasted hero but she doesn’t want to talk to the press.” The stallion said as he thought while looking me up and down. “Tell you what, you conduct an interview with her and if it’s good you have yourself a job.”
I blinked not really sure what to say so I just nodded my head. “Good, bring me back an interview by twelve tomorrow and if it’s decent the job is yours.” He said with a nod and vanished behind the wall of papers. “Now get out of my office and don’t come back without that interview.”
I blinked and left the editor’s office. As I walked down the hall my mind raced with how I was going to go about both getting an interview and conducting one to a mare who is both my friend and was involved with an event I knew almost nothing about. That’s if Twilight would even agree as she seemed to want her privacy and I wasn’t about to violate it and risk losing my only friend.
Well in the end the only thing I could really do was ask her about it and see what she says.
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Hey JJ, shouldn't you be in Manehatten?
7534331
i was thinking the same thing JJ should be in Manehatten.
i good few chapters good work.
So many refrances.....can't wait for a "Guys Read" one.....
7535664 many refrances?
7535943
Ok, but that was still funny to read
I’m sorry about that and for disrupting the arty. A bit of a reference via typo
Surprise mother fucka!
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“It’s alive!”
And if that's not a reference, I don't know what is!
That, and a few other various jokes and things that made me laugh.
TL;DR
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You say we see the beginning of a plot but I see no such thing.
You own us a plot, good sir.