Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Shipping 💖11,669 stories ·9,737 members
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,141 members
TwiDash1,188 stories ·4,228 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,371 stories ·3,071 members
Twilight Sparkle12,269 stories ·4,753 members
[Complete!] When Rainbow Dash crashes into the library one too many times, Twilight ends up becoming her coach for the upcoming Best Young Flier Competition. But Rainbow Dash wants more, and relationships are never as perfect as they seem.
Page generated in 0.25 seconds
Total duration
668 users online
835,763 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well written with natural sounding dialogue, though the end seems a little rushed. I'm keeping an eye on this one
I'm not a big fan of TwiDash, but I'm so glad I gave this a chance; this is very very good, keep it up. ^_^
Nice start, I like it.
It's not often that you find a shipfic where you get to watch the feelings develop. I look forward to watching this one develop.
Shipfic of the year mang
No grammar errors, plot well developed, excellent writing
Perfect shit mang
( I also like the dialogue )
Tracking and five'd
Twilight being my Favorite And all, I only prefer ships with her.... Mostly....
Anywaaaaaay, This is a great Start, Im gonna track it.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
Found some grammar mistakes and a few spelling mistakes like for grammar " Twilight said in a very flat tone daring for rainbow to make fun it" last 2 words need 'of' between them.
I'm not going to names them all but anyways it's getting tracked.
Damn spell check!!!!!
I didn't think I'd be interested in mane six shipping, but this caught my eye. Good writing, though at times the placement of actions in and around dialogue made it a bit confusing, like so:
"I-huh, what?-no!" Twilight gave her a peculiar look at the way she was acting. "I just... Yesterday was really fun, and I-uh, was wondering if we could hang out." Twilight's eyes widened a little in surprise.
Still pretty good, though. 4.5/5. Look forward to seeing more.
interesting start. I don't see how Rainbow suddenly went from wanting to be under a charm to truth or dare, but I guess we've seen weirder behavior before.
A lot seemed to happen in a short amount of time. It was a bit rushed, but not so much that it made me stop reading. I'm pretty excited to see how this slumber party of there's goes...
From 1 t o10, I give your first chapter a 9. this is looking to be really good, you have a good plot and you already have some conflict set up as well. very well done.
iiiiiiiiiiinteresting. i'll be watching this one.
score:4.5/5 mild spelling errors, but they didn't detract from the story any. good first chapter man!
I have but one quip. "Anyways..." It's in dialogue, so it's technically not a grammatical error, but I think Twilight would know better.
Pardon my griping over it, but it's just one of those things. At any rate, 5/5 and tracking. Thank you very much for the gradual ship; most are too abrupt.
I have to say this story has better pacing than most shipfics, good writing to boot.
It's nice to see a story where they arent instantly in love, not that those stories are bad but its a nice change :)
The start had me thinking about dash and rarity, they need to have a bonding episode sometime.
Onto chapter two :D
I can tell you know a thing or two about writing. I'd say, 95% of times i would tell someone that wrote a story like this, that they used almost no descriptive imagery, and i couldn't visualise what you had put onto paper, but thats the beauty of this piece. It would be ruined if it had anymore descriptive imagery, simply because of its carefree, semi-firstperson aspect. the ending was a little... stressed. rushed, maybe, but i do applaud you of this piece. exceptional work.
i want to read.... but i have so much to do...... why can't teachers be all like " hey, awesome ponyfics that you haven't read yet exist! no homework for the rest of your life!! be free and happy!!!" ???????
oh well, i can blow off band practice, can't I?
I definitely can see where this is going.
liking this so far.
you're lucky i'm a binary voter ;) 5/5
Holy crap! Way to get me super interested! So many words and not a single one wasted! You are brilliant. Time to read every last word of this story!
Oh, and, tracked. :)
Natural-sounding, flows well. Interesting start.
Twilight's annoyance with Dash in the beginning confuses me. She's practicing potentially volatile magic in her home at what is (according to the descriptive text) at or just after midday. So Dash knocks on her door and Twilight loses her concentration and the spell goes Kablooie.
Twilight
then expresses a certain annoyance with Dash
for knocking on her door--again, at NOON, not in the late evening or early morning--when she... lives in the Ponyville Public Library. I'm assuming the library doesn't close before midday, and I really don't think little-miss-egghead would close up for anything as trivial as a lunch break. It's just, she lives in a building that is ostensibly open to the public, so you think she would make allowances and maybe plan ahead for such interruptions.
331660 True, true... but it's ponyville. There's plenty of precedence for there not being a lot of business at the library- if you go with Fanon, that is. Most authors have it as an accepted fact that not many ponies frequent the library.
don't know if want?
Impressive! favorited and watched!
Ooh. Somethings going down...
*sees no sex tag*
Ah. Never mind then.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
Did you rewrite everything?
943556
eyup
This looks familiar...
Ah, it's been re-written! Neat-o!
Nice chapter! can't wait for the next one!
soundslikeitsgoingtobeamazing
ok i had to do it just because of your name XD
anyways, looking forward to more...
Wait, wasn't this the fic of the love triangle and was around a chapter with Celestia and Dash talking about Twilight? Or am I thinking of another fic?
I really like it, I just have this voice in my head saying "only 20 pushups and a minute of plank, with 30 sit ups". I just realized that I may work out too much...
Reading it again because reasons.
I know how this story goes, yet I still be sad for the twilight, and happy, then sad again and happy again
WHY YOU MAKE ME PASS FOR IT AGAIN
......
Your writing has improved from the last version, to me at least.
I still want to see how this ends though. I hope it's happy and whatnot.
Ugh, now I want more chapters!
Sweet, Cute. I like where this is going. keep it up.
943853 Much better phasers this time around.
why must you wright so well come on man i need to sleep.
Hey you NEED to post more!
Yes! This is gonna be good...
I saw the cover picture and I thought this would be like that one story where R.D. gets a saddle for Twilight to ride on to help Rainbow Dash practice in the sky.
But apparently it's not. Gonna read the next chapter!
le d'awwww
Awesome story so far
.
...ack. What? Total rewrite? Why? o_o;;
943590
No this is the sorta-triangle of Dash, Twi, and Spitfire