Chapter 1
“They said I did what?” said Twilight, trembling with rage.
Human world Applejack swayed back and forth slightly, trying to stay steady on her unfamiliar hooves. This was her and Fluttershy’s first trip to Twilight’s side of the mirror, and it was taking some getting used to. It had to be done, though. This was an emergency. “This guy Donald Trump is running for president, and his wife gave a speech that copied some stuff from a speech Michelle Obama gave. And later some guy went on TV and said it was okay, ‘cause you’d copied from Michelle Obama’s speech, too.”
Twilight slammed her hoof on her desk. “Plagiarism is a very serious allegation! It could ruin my academic career! Also that argument makes absolutely no sense.”
Applejack shrugged. “That’s what he said, though.”
Twilight tapped her chin. “Michelle Obama is your President, right? The First Lady?”
“Um, the First Lady is the President’s wife, actually,” said human world Fluttershy, who kept folding and unfolding her wings and staring at them with an expression of wonder.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. “Wait, your president’s a male?”
“Yep. Every single one of ‘em has been,” said Applejack.
Twilight felt a headache coming on. Everypony knew males were too aggressive, too emotional, and too sexually driven to be suitable for high office. She bit her tongue — not judging other cultures by the standards of her own was friendship lesson #648.5. “I’m sorry. I’d just sort of assumed. Anyway. Is it possible to schedule a meeting with her to discuss these allegations?”
“Not really. We don’t have that kind’a clout,” said Applejack.
“But we want you to have a chance to defend yourself. So we got you an interview on CNN,” said Fluttershy.
Twilight’s jaw fell open. “What? How?”
“You’re famous in our world,” said Applejack.
Fluttershy nodded. “Also I have very large breasts. It opens doors.”
Twilight rubbed her temples with her hooves. “I suppose I need to deal with this. All right. Let me get packed.”
———
Anderson Cooper leaned forward, a serious expression on his face. “In her speech at the 2008 Democratic National Convention, Michelle Obama said ‘…the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.’ In 2015, you said ‘This is your dream. Anything you can do in your dreams, you can do now.’ How do you explain that?”
Twilight Sparkle crossed and uncrossed her legs, and tried to keep her hands on the arms of her chair. Applejack and Fluttershy had instructed her to maintain an open posture to give the impression she had nothing to hide.
“Well, I think context matters,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Mrs. Obama was giving a speech supporting her husband’s bid for election. I was helping the Princess of the Night overcome a supernatural manifestation of her guilt at becoming the evil Nightmare Moon. It was an off-the-fetlock… I mean, off-the-cuff remark, certainly not a prepared statement. Any similarity was strictly coincidental.” She smiled at the camera nervously. Wait, Applejack had told her not to do that. She looked back at Anderson Cooper. She reflected that he had astonishingly beautiful hair — white and smooth, like the mane of a marble statue. He was a very handsome man. Not that she was interested in human men. That would be unnatural.
“I see,” said Anderson Cooper. “Mrs. Sparkle, your weighing in on the Melania Trump plagiarism controversy could be seen as support for Hillary Clinton. Do you have any connection with the Clinton campaign?”
“No. I do try to keep abreast of events in your world, since we are neighbors, but my duties as a princess and a scholar keep me too busy to interfere in extra-dimensional politics.” It would be nice to see a human female in high political office, but she kept that thought to herself.
“So what’s your interest in traveling to our universe? I’ve researched your background — you were an important assistant of your Princess Celest…”
“Celestia.”
“I’m sorry. You also played an pivotal role in returning her sister Princess Luna to power. Later, you yourself were appointed to royal rank. Twilight Sparkle, are you a monarchist? Do you want to set up a monarchy in America?”
Twilight Sparkle blinked. “Oh, well, our government is based on merit, not heredity. My friend Princess Cadence and I were elevated to princesshood for bravery in service to our country. The senior Princesses are of the royal bloodline, but when they ascended to power, they chose to keep the title of Princess, rather than become Queens, to emphasize that they didn’t consider themselves absolute rulers. The Equestrian government has become very decentralized under their rule — towns and cities are administered by locally elected mayors, and Celestia prefers to see her subjects work their problems out for themselves, rather than intervene directly.”
“Sounds like a libertarian paradise,” said Anderson Cooper.
“Hardly. Our tax code would make your eyes water. I’ve been trying to reform it, but… frankly, it’s kind of boring, and I keep having to fight monsters, which makes me lose focus like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Speaking of monsters — if you were president, how would you deal with ISIS?”
“You mean the putative Islamic State? I find most monsters respond well to the power of friendship.” She narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes you need to apply the friendship pretty forcefully, though, before it will take.”
Anderson Cooper nodded. “And what do you think of Donald Trump’s plan to prevent illegal immigration by building a thirty-foot concrete wall between the United States and Mexico?”
Twilight looked confused. “Um… Is that really what he says he wants to do? There are these devices called ladders that are easily constructed, or available for purchase at reasonable prices. So I don’t think it would work very well. One of our military leaders, General Prance Horse, said that ‘Fixed fortifications are a testament to the stupidity of ponykind. Anything ponies create, ponies can destroy.’ And also, honestly? I’ve found it’s very educational to make friends from other nations and cultures. If other humans like your country so much they want to come live here, maybe you should try talking to them, instead of making up silly ways to try and keep them out.”
“Very interesting. I’m afraid we’re almost out of time, but I have one final question.”
Twilight felt her muscles grow tense. This interview had been more difficult than she’d anticipated. What had he saved for last? Did they know about her and Shining Armor? She really hoped they didn’t ask her about him. Oh please, oh please, oh…
“Your highness? May I please have a hug?”
———
“Was that okay? Did I do okay?” Twilight found her hands were shaking. She crossed her arms across her chest and stuck them in her armpits to keep them still. “Please tell me I did okay.”
“You did fine,” said Fluttershy, squeezing Twilight hard.
“You did great,” said Applejack, hugging her and slapping her on the back. “Now it’s time to talk to your fans.”
Twilight’s eyes got big. “My what?”
“Your fans. You’ve got a ton of ‘em,” said Applejack.
Fluttershy nodded. “You save the world a few times, and word gets around.” She opened her suit coat to fully reveal the T-shirt she was wearing — it had a picture of Twilight’s pony form on it, and the words ‘Twilight Sparkle for President’ printed underneath.
Twilight found herself squeezing her arms to her chest very tightly. “Fluttershy, no. Please no.”
Applejack blushed and picked up a sign from where it was leaning against the wall behind her. It said ‘Make America Friendly Again’.
“I can’t. I really can’t. What are you girls thinking?”
“You support gay marriage,” said Fluttershy.
“Equestria has six mares for every one stallion. We’ve always had gay marriage!” said Twilight.
“And you favor a strong defense!” added Applejack.
“Because Equestria’s constantly being attacked by monsters!” Twilight couldn’t believe she was hearing this.
“So are we,” said Fluttershy. “We really need stricter gun control laws.”
Applejack scowled. “No. What we need is open carry, so the bad guys know what’ll happen if they try anything.”
Fluttershy wrapped her hair around her fist. “Applejack, they don’t even have guns in Equestria. They could, but they don’t. What does that say to you?”
“No!” shouted Twilight, waving her arms. “I am not getting involved in this. These are your problems, not mine.”
Fluttershy’s face fell. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“But… but… we need you,” said Applejack.
“Friendship rule #7 — respect your friends’ boundaries!” Twilight stormed towards the elevator.
“Twi, where are you going?” shouted Applejack.
“I’m going to talk to my public.”
———
It was hot in the Atlanta streets. A crowd was waiting for her. There were thousands of them. Thousands of human faces, straining to get a look at her across the plaza in front of the CNN center. Males and females, all ages and colors — well, at least all of the two or three colors humans came in. They had signs and T-shirts — some homemade, others exactly like the ones Fluttershy and Applejack had had made. How long had those two been planning this? The humans had been shouting. They had fallen silent when she had stepped outside. She looked into their eyes. There was hope in them. Some of them had been crying. Twilight looked behind her. Fluttershy and Applejack stood there, watching her.
Twilight cleared her throat. “I know you’re all desperate. I know you’re looking for hope, and it doesn’t seem like there’s anything that can save you. You’re looking for something outside yourselves that can protect you from all the evil and trouble in the world.”
Murmurs.
“And I know you’d like me to be that thing.”
Cheers.
“But I can’t be.”
Stunned silence.
“I can’t be, because I’m too young, I wasn’t born here, and I have my own country to rule. Honestly, I’m not even from your universe. What were you thinking?”
Mumbling and foot shuffling.
“You vote for your leaders in this country — and that’s powerful. It’s a good way to do things. But you’re looking for a hero. I’m a politician — I tell lies, I make compromises, and I try to do the best I can with my limited abilities. No politician can ever do better than that. But… It’s also true that I am a hero. I’m a hero because I wake up every morning, and I do my best to help my friends. When I was younger, I thought the best thing to do was to live for myself. But then my friends showed me how wonderful the world could be if we’re… if we’re just kind to each other. And honest about our limitations. And loyal to the places and people we call home. And generous with our time and our money. And able to laugh at ourselves. If you can do those things, you can all be heroes. Who you vote for is important. But how you live your lives is what will really make the world a better place.”
Prolonged, uproarious applause.
“Okay,” said Twilight. “Now who wants a hug?”
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why cant 2016 be normal?
7409090
Weirdest election cycle I've ever lived through, and I've seen a bunch.
7409090
You know that Star Trek:TNG episode with the Worfs from multiple timelines? That one Enterprise from the timeline where the Borg won? We are on that Enterprise.
I imagined Fluttershy's breasts casually opening the door in front of her while she walks places.
I knew somebody would make a story relating to THAT. I just knew it. I approve.
7409117
Now I can't stop imagining it.
u earned a follow and a ponka good sir
And thus started the constitutional amendment campaign to allow equestrians to run for the presidency of the USA.
This pop'ed into my head.
*Twilight comes back three months later*
Twilight: "How the buck did I get voted President? I am not a citizen, never-mind a natural born one."
Fluttershy:"Over 40% of the population protested. They all marched to their state capitals. They also get the age limit removed, and well there is no law preventing a person from being the governor of more than one state. So as you friends they started impeaching governors and voting us into multiple states. Applejack has most of the mid wast."
Twilight: "...Who is my VP?"
Fluttershy:"Sunset."
Twilight:"Oh, that is better. I will just let her run everything. You world is crazy."
*two months later*
Fluttershy:"Ah, Twilight. Some things have happened."
Twilight:".... Is there anyplace that has not put me as their leader?"
Fluttershy:"Yes."
Twilight:"Yes?"
Fluttershy:"Yes. They felt that it would be to much to put on you to run so many nations. So there is talk about the nations forming a 'Friendship union'. It will be using the old EU Parliament Building as it will no longer be needed. They want you to set down basic laws, and rules: Like all wars must be in the form of pie fights. The nations have also started picking us as their representatives for their nations."
*Next month*
Fluttershy:"I have bad, good, good, and other news..."
"Bad news is that WWIII started after you left. 1st Good news is the war was short and just ended. Other good news is it was a pie wars; no nukes. The other news is that the world as joined as one nation and wants to because a province of Equestria."
Twilight:"... ... ... ... I Princess Twilight Sparkle now proclaim Sunset Shimmer as the 5 Princess of Equestria and the local Equestrian government for New Equetria."
dam i wanted to see twilight friendship laser isis
While I absolutely love the moral of your story. I think I'll just take the lazy approach and vote for Twilight in 2016.
IMPORTANT!
"And if it doesn't work out, find an ancient powerful artifact to blow them up into teeny-tiny little pieces!"
7409117 Politely.
They're possessed by Exgartuan
...
Y'know, for how ridiculous that interview was, I'm actually pleasantly surprised you didn't go overboard with this parody. You didn't go for any easy jokes or the memes; you just had Twilight be Twilight and let things play out naturally. I can't say it's as funny as the actual interview (seriously, that is just a whole new level of self-parody), but I think it's better this way. Because, well, someone in the room needs to be talking sense. It might as well be the fictional pony princess.
Seriously, this country is full of idiots.
Almost did not read this and I'm glad I did. It was a good laugh.
U.S. politics has gone nuts this election. Looking forward to it being over.
7409755
November can't come fast enough.
7409117
I can't stop seeing this either. Thanks, sis.
7409455
... In thy mercy.
Thank you for this absolutely fabulously funny story! You wrote Twilight so very true to form and the speech was just amazing. Loved the interview, too!
I'm voting this year. I'm voting for a friendlier America. I'm voting for Princess Twilight Sparkle for president!
Can I get a hug?
MY GOD, I was waiting for this!
"Ponies accuse me of plagarism, but, I just want to make you smile, smile, smile, Mr. Cooper. It fills my heart with sunshine, all the while, not just some of it."
I had no idea the Trump s***storm would go this far. I'll read this later.
7409117 7409138
I swear to God I thought it was a Goldeneye reference,
Your Highness Twilight Sparkle, considering how in your first public judicial decision you came near to endorsing slavery -- how would you defend your executive and administrative skills?
thumbs.ebaystatic.com/images/g/cm4AAOSwUuFWx3Qv/s-l225.jpg
7409090
Because the Internet has escaped into the real world?
Because normal is awful and nobody would care?
Because, as it turns out, the voters actually do decide the candidates?
I don't know, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, world and we should all be proud to call ourselves a part of it.
Also, news reporters should be forced to fight in a maze-like arena with nothing but shaolin spades and/or bladed frisbees.
7409703 Every country is full of idiots, except maybe for Somalia. They seem to have the right idea.
7409846
7409755
Lightweights. All this hope for the future that you seem to have foolishly developed throughout your lives is blinding you to the show of a lifetime! Besides, I thought Americans had guns for this reason?
I know this is a joke, but...........
FEMINIST BULL****!!!
7411318
I mean, God forbid that someone holding high office be aggressive. They might actually accomplish something that makes the world better yet less profitable for once!
7411260
Good guys with guns protect us from bad guys with guns. That's why everyone can carry at the RNC.
I like it!
My eye only twitched in incoherent rage once!
I'm amused, but at the same time my pride is being hurt. I'm not sure how my emotions are coping with this?.
On the side note, I wanted to bring up Ted Cruz's endorsement of Applejack as best pony from earlier on in the election process. Why? Because I would find it amusing if Twilight had to go against Applejack for being the future leader of the executive branch. Imagine America -- which is already torn apart by every single social, and intellectual problems you can think of -- clashing out with two people -- ponies -- who are more than likely on different sides of the political compass. If only just slightly; could make for some fun satire.
7411424
I know, right? This particular quote is definitely character, not authorial, voice.
I couldn't resist the joke, but I generally write Equestria as having equality between the sexes, rather than a matriarchy. It's just that somehow all the most qualified candidates for princess just happened to be female. 
It would be fun to take a premise like this seriously! I let Twi off the hook pretty easily in this one, to the point of her being a little out of character in turning down the desperate humans at the end. I have multiple big projects on my hard drive right now, but I might come back to "ponies-or-pony-analogues interfering in real world politics" later.
I might just Fav this so I can read the eventual shitstorm that's bound to erupt in the comments once the Trumpers, Hillaryites and Sanderstans get into it.
7411471
I'm surprised it's taking so long for that to happen!
7411318
It is a joke though. Deep breaths.
7411439
If Twi knew humans as well as any human who has lived on this planet, I'm sure she would be conflicted with whether or not she would actually want to take the humans in with open arms.
Though, if she were more like me, filled with all the cynicism of a misanthrope, and the ego of Kanye West. It probably go along the lines of, "Mwahaha, kneel before me my precious minions."
With the way the world is being turned around in blender right now, I'm sure that it's only in do time before ponies actually start having effect in global politics. I mean, it's already been in the news twice during this election process!
Are hugs with random people becoming a necessity in stories like these, where the story makes no sense without them?
7411501
Hugs are the deus ex machina of pony fic.
I'm sorry. So sorry.
7411318
i dunno, it made me giggle considering the other side of the gender spectrum isnt all that great either
7411337
... 
!
You... I like you.
I love gun control arguments, the 'Service Engine Soon' light of America. The right wing goes, "If the victims had had themselves some guns, they'd a been bulletproof and totally known who to shoot since now everyone has guns and is shooting."
If that wasn't bad enough, the left wing comes back with, "Yeah, well if the shooter hadn't had access to an Automatic Death Machine, the urge to kill and be killed would never have taken hold of their feeble psyche. No, I've never heard of The Anarchist's Cookbook; does it have vegan recipes?"
Sure I'm stereotyping, but how much am I really?
EDIT: Oh, and then both sides forget what they were actually talking about. I can't just leave out the most important ingredient in this decades old comedy!
https://youtu.be/5FjWe31S_0g
Twilight Sparkle supports amnesty? Damn, now I have to change my vote!
Great. Just f***ing great. I do not like this Twilight. Downvote.
I'M SO TRIGGERED
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/19/7a/77/197a773221db1b150ccf578d71b8421a.jpg
#2016TriggeringIntensifies
But for reals... I saw this coming a mile away, I knew someone would write a story like this XD
Nice job man!
7411798
7411424
Looks like there's at least two
supproppressive persons in our midst.SHUN!!!