Tall, White, and Faceless

by TheGamingBrony

2: Have a Heart

Applejack and Rarity frantically ran through the door of the hospital. They ran to the front desk where Nurse Redheart stood.

“ Applejack, Rarity slow down and calm down. There this way” Said the nurse pointing over to a hallway.

“ Poor fillies have been scared stiff all day” Said Nurse Redheart as they were continuing down the long corridor. The nurse was escorting Applejack and Rarity to Sweetie Belle’s and Applebloom’s room. Applejack looked at Rarity with a face of dread and concern.

“We looked them over and they didn't seem to be in any sort of physical pain, But were not sure their mental state is the same. They keep yelling stuff like “It took her” and “ It’s Face” all the time they were here” Nurse Redheart continued. She looked at Applejack.

“ By the way, Do you know somepony named “Scootaloo” by any chance?”

“ Yeah, thats one their best friends” Applejack told Redheart. The nurse stopped at the door.

“ Applejack,Rarity, I advise you two get help for those fillies in their because what ever they saw , it messed them up pretty badly ” and with that Nurse Redheart left the two mares. Rarity opened the door.

It was not a pretty sight. Applebloom was in the corner rocking back and forth mumbling something under her breath. Her eyes were huge and red from tears. Her mane was messy and her bow was undone and lying next to her.

Sweetie Belle was on the complete opposite side of the room with papers scattered all around her. She was quickly scribbling on a piece of paper. Rarity bent over and looked at one, It was a picture of a crudely drawn pony with no facial features. Another picture was of many circles with “x’s” through them. Applejack ran over to Applebloom.

“ Applebloom, all ya alright? Are ya hurt at all? APPLEBLOOM” Applebloom seemed to not even see Applejack frantically move a hoof in front of her eyes. She just kept rocking back and forth mumbling. Applejack sat there with tears in her eyes as she listened to her.

“ itslookingforus.weneedtohide.ithasherandwantsus.itwantstokillus.” Applebloom’s eyes darted to random places of the room and all Applejack could do was watch her sister slip into insanity.

“ Sweetie Belle? why were you three in the Everfree Forest?” asked Rarity in a gentle tone. Sweetie Belle looked at Rarity then to the floor.

“ We were g-gonna get are c-cutie marks in In-investigation. Scootaloo said that there was a house in the Everfree forest that h-had been aba-abandoned for years and that we should check it out” said Sweetie Belle. She had stopped coloring to look at Rarity. Applejack joined Rarity.

“ Wheres Scootaloo then dear?” Asked Rarity. Sweetie Belle let out a whimper.

“ W-we were in the house and she heard hoofsteps coming towards us so we hid under the bed. After awhile they stopped so Scootaloo went to go check and when she opened the d-door-” Sweetie Belle lowered her head and cried softly. She was unable to say what happened next. Her head suddenly darted upward.

“ IT WAS HORRIBLY RARITY! IT DIDN'T HAVE A FACE! IT HAS SCOOTALOO WE NEED TO HELP HER PLEASE.”

Rarity hugged Sweetie Belle tightly and stroked her mane as she cried into her coat.

“ Its alright dear. You're safe now okay? We’ll find her and bring her back. Everything is going to be alright.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was near midnight as Nurse Redheart was walking home. the streets were barely lit from Lunas moon up in the sky. No matter what she did, Nurse Redheart couldn't stop thinking about Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.

What did those fillies see? I haven't seen any pony shaken up like they were. She thought to herself. Redheart heard a snapping sound behind her and she whirled around.

Nothing.

She turned back around and started to walk again at a faster pace though.for a second she thought she could hear hoofsteps behind her as she turned around again.

Nothing.

Redheart stood there for the longest time observing all round. Without warning she began to feel nauseous. She felt like she was going to vomit. An unbearable ringing sound was starting to form in her ears. she covered them but the ringing only amplified. She was able to look forward and when she did she saw a horrid sight.

A couple of yards in front of her stood a severely pale and tall pony. It seemed to be wearing a suit with a red tie but there was no way it was normal, there was no way.Redheart let out a gasp when she saw how long its limbs were. Redheart without hesitation turned and ran.

Who was that?!?! NO- No WHAT was that! what do I do? I need to hide and collect myself. Nurse redheart thought to herself. She took refuge behind a tree. she was hyperventilating looking around her to look for this creature. she sat down. Her chest ached from lack of air flow

“ I- I- I lost it” she said in between a gasp of air.

Just then two of the trees branches grabbed her and she let out a scream, But was cut off by one of the branches wrapping around her mouth. She was lifted up to the pale white face of the creature. she gasped again to see it had no eyes or mouth or anything. It just stared at her and tilted its head from side to side as if observing her. One of its tentacles wrapped around the nurses throat and began to tighten. Now her chest really acked as Air started to leave her body. she tried to grab and pull the tentacle away from her but was unable to and with a swift motion, A loud SNAP was heard and seemed to echo through the streets of the town. Redhearts body went limp and her eyes glazed over. The creature continued to stare at the now dead Nurse Redheart. The Creature looked at the saddle bag she was carrying and observed the name tag on it. It read “ Nurse Redheart, Ponyville Care Center” The creature looked towards the hospital before disappearing into the the night with Nurse Redheart over one shoulder and the name tag in the other hand.

Comments

[FailcopterWes]

Hmm interesting idea, but like others have commented, it's all very fast. There's no sense of tension or buildup that is really needed in a slenderman/mane story. If you can slow the pace then I reckon you have a the makings of a good story here.

And then all you'd need to sort out is the occasionaly spelling and grammar mistake. But everyone makes those, so don't worry too much about that, focus on the narrative.

[Scarves]

OHHH!
Creepy.
And maybe a little rushed.

[TheGamingBrony]

Im trying to slow the 3rd chapter down abit

[badassgrunt]

more

[ARC-5216]

Yes