• Member Since 28th Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen July 6th

Lusaminia


Inconsistently updating since 2015

T

Many years ago, Equestria fell into despair and an era of darkness feel upon the once beautiful land. Among this, a pony finds herself awoken for the sleep of death in the middle of the Everfree forest. With no memory of who she is or why she died, she trudges into the castle of the twin sisters, meeting a mysterious Alicorn. The Alicorn tells her that she is a risen, a pony brought to life from centuries of death to bring peace to the once mighty princesses of Equestria. With nowhere else to go and nothing to turn to for her memory, she follows what the Alicorn says, and goes to bring peace to a broken land.

Based on the Dark Souls series by Bandi Namco and From Software.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 37 )

I like it so far!

Keep up the good work!

Well you have my attention!
I cant wait to see this continue!

It will depend, chapters will be sorted into areas (which will likely be longer), bosses (which will vary) and visits to the main hub (which will likely be the shortest)

You have an interesting story idea but the chapters are way too short.

You had me at "Dark Souls".

Sooooo.... is Risen Rainbow Dash? Or maybe Fluttershy?

7477984

Well, we know she's a pegasus, and there's only two mane 6 members that have wings aside from Twilight.

7477984 A morbid ass story you got here. But interesting none the less. Only complaint is slight grammer f ups and just short chaps in general but that's just the inner twi in me shouting " FEED ME MORE CHAPTERS NOW!!!:twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:" :twilightsheepish:

7478692 I honestly prefer smaller chapters since I hate waiting to get them out.

7505771 i can understand that. But in that case you would have to write the chapters in bulk or else the readers are just left half satisfied.

Nice chapter bro. Hope you can keep it going

Crossing into Bloodbourne with those lanterns tho...

It's great so far!:twilightsmile:

The indentation is off, or inconsistent rather. Then there is this line--

The hearts of ponykind was stained in hate and anger, even corrupting it three princesses.

--where I believe that it would be "its three princesses.":pinkiesmile:

I almost didn't notice this one--

But like a lights, it shall fade.

--I am not very sure what you meant here, but could it have been, "But like all lights, it shall fade.":pinkiegasp:

I still can't figure out if this--

--sought refuge in a old castle--

--should be "an old castle" or if "a old castle" is grammatically correct.:pinkiecrazy:

All in all, great story... so far! Next chapter I'll give my thoughts again.:facehoof:

Wow! The Timberwolf fight, great, such fun!:twilightsmile:

I did notice a few mistakes through out the whole chapter, and I don't feel like putting them all down.:facehoof:
If you want to know simply message me, I can put them together later. But I'm going to stop with the pointing in the comments; as long as I don't find something, which should be fixed as it sends mixed messages.:twilightsheepish:

I have about five things for this chapter.

1) This line,

-the Alicorn manage to remove her sword from the crack-

where did the sword come from? It switches to a sword, then back to a spear the next sentence.

2) Do you have an Editor?

3) This chapter is a great chapter! The boss fight was epic!:pinkiehappy:

4) This chapter also had many micro-errors, and a few decent sized errors. Like I mentioned last chapter just pm me, and I'll be willing to help.

5) I forgot what five was... wait I remember now. Short chapters are nice because they can be finished rather quickly, and sometimes released in bulk. Yet just like longer chapters you have to take care of errors big and small. It is okay to miss some, but when they appear constantly, or consistently, then one needs to take care when editing.:facehoof::twilightsheepish:

I'm going to guess that Risen is Rainbow Dash, who else could be that badass and clueless?:facehoof:
It's easy to tell why Applejack couldn't kill Twilight, because she subconsciously remembers their friendship.:twilightsmile:

Just so you all know, yes this is still being written, the only reason I haven't uploaded is the fact that I like writing more dialogue oriented stories compared to action oriented stories. So don't expect much updating from this, but know that I'm working on it like everything else.

7679087 Sorry, it was just my reaction to this line of yours.

OH MY GOD! HE KILLED LUNA!!!

In it you clearly used "he" instead of "she" that is all.:twilightsheepish::twilightsmile:

7516870 Is that what Bloodbourne uses? I haven't had a chance to play it just yet.:pinkiesad2::pinkiecrazy:

Now for this chapter... it was an... interesting chapter. I won't say I didn't have any vices with it, but that is more or less more of me being me. Nice work on this chapter keep it up.:twilightsmile:

7706074

Bloodbourne uses lanterns instead of bonfires, yes.

7695870 Well regardless... I'll look forward to the next chapter.

I still think Risen is Rainbow Dash... she just has to be, but if not that is fine too.:twilightsmile:

8074203 ALIIIIIIVE

But still with really short chapters

Yay, another chapter. Risen reminds me of my SL1 character. "Why doesn't my weapon work well on you?" type of thing. ^^ Other than that I'm starting to think Risen isn't Rainbow Dash, but it might still be... Fluttershy? naw, couldn't be. :\ Zecora... great... we get Zecora's descendant. Can't wait to see what Risen gets from Zecora(Minor).

To quote GameAssassin: "IT'S ALIVE!!!!" I'll look forward to the next chapter. ^^

8995683
Don’t worry dude, I suck at it too. Only reason I got through Bloodbourne was because of a friend.

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