- Member Since 15th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Aug 20th, 2023
Scout Charger
Yeah, I'm sort of crazy, but most of the time I'm the good sort of crazy, you know, the laughing one, not the other one with satanic rituals and that stuff, that's only on mondays.
Sequels1
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Scout Charger · 14k words · 13 3 · 616 views
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- Scout Charger · 14k words · 13 3 · 616 views
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Sunset and Applejack? Plus male OC with not-an-awful name?
You have my attention.
I don't know if it's on purpose but please capitalize the titles!!
7389884
Sorry, English isn't my first language and I sometimes simply forget that you guys tend to capitalize titles.
Anyway, I hope to get more than just your attention, feedback is always appreciated
7389907 They don't universally? Huh....guess I never thought of that.
Anyway, it will look more polished if you do.
It would great if after they "ponied up". They look over for his approval.
"Are you okay with this Scout?"
"Well...I...." Glow glow glow. Pony ears, wings (yeah, I say Pegasus)....and...other enhancements....
After a brief pause, examining the "enhancement", the wings, the "enhancement", the ears, the "enhancement" he looks back to the stunned pony girls.
"I'm thinking...yes."
(Just saw that he's an Earth pony...oh well funny moment still stands.)
Wouldn't the claw marks in his back also be a strong hint?
This was an entertaining, if slightly rushed, read. Your plot was about the general standard for fics of this nature, not too cliche' but not badly written either. A few times, the pacing seemed a little off, particularly during the sex when descriptions and actions were being repeated or re-described. That's one thing to try and avoid with writing clop: too much repetition. Other than that, the sex was decent, and kudos for making an entertaining read.
7390544
They might be, but have you ever tried to look at your own back?
You normally can't see those kind of scratches
7390828
Thanks for the tips, I will try to take them to heart if I ever write another clop or even a Sequel to this one.
Comments like yours are way more helpful than people adding the stories to shelfs titled "stories I just don't like" or down voter without explanation
7390906 yeah but come the morning, you FEEL those scratches
7391553
I never felt them, it was always somebody else telling me "oh my God your back!"
7391574
well anyway.
I don't normally go for clop but this caught my eye.
You have rather good writing chops, perhaps more stories with these three that are more story oriented would be good.
One idea I always had that I could never get off the ground was Sunset returning to Equestria with her human boyfriend in tow.
Just a thought.
7391611
Well, there is an imortant difference between clop that goes like
"Why do you order Pizza if you have no money?"
"I like salami."
"Great, now suck my dick!"
And clop that tries to give the acting characters a reason and thought processes beyond "must fuck something"
This story by the way is only one I wrote about my OC Scout and the two mares/girls he has a crush on. This is just the first that ever made it this far and got posted
Besides, the slight cliffhanger at the end is there for a reason.
The story was pretty good my only criticism is why have them pony up? It made no sense to me and felt unnecessary and doesn't add anything to the story other than that this story is perfect.
7392078
Well, I found it more fun to write the story with the girls in anthro form, so I had them pony up and I think I made a not too bad job in explaining the why.
Even if it was a somewhat doodgy of an explanantion, I'm proud that I at least attempted to have on.
7392157 I give you points for attempting it, but I still feel like it was unnecessary but it's just one small criticism it didn't ruin the story for me i still enjoyed it and just for that I will follow you.
Cool stuff man, good to see ya still in the saddle.
7392703
Yeah, I'll try to take an hour or two each day to write and read some fanfics. Feels really good I have to admit.
And nice to see you're still kicking
7392710 The day I stop kicking.... Well would be the day I stop kicking. Lol, but that's a good habit tho, I need to start reading a bit more, pony and non pony, I've been lagging a bit.
I dont think the anthro tag is needed, if they only grow horns and tails and nothing else changes their body that makes them look like in the linked picture than they're still human. At least thats what i think.
>that moment when you accidently become og
“What are you doing out there?” He managed to groan.
Sunset chuckled. “Well, its 11:15 and principle Celestia sent out some of us to gather up all who like to sleep in. The bus is about to leave in an hour, you know?”
Scout shook his head. “Not that. I mean, why are you and AJ not in my bed?”
>made my giggle, gg
7481782
Glad to hear so, when the Idea for that came to me I had to laugh too so I thought "you need to write that one in"
Besides it's still based on MLP and therefore a bit of humor is somewhat of a must have