Shimmy Shorts

by Ausbrony

The Bonds of Family - Part One

To say that Twilight Velvet was nervous was a gross understatement. She stared at the stallion sitting at the table with a downturned expression. Her ears flat and her eyes slightly wide in anticipated fear. Not five minutes ago, she’d told him one of her greatest secrets, one that involved him in equal part…

A short rewind…

“So, what’s this all about?” Flare asked as Velvet sat him down at the kitchen table. “Is everything okay Vel?”

“Not… exactly,” Twilight said as she paced slowly at the opposite end of the table. “Um, of gee, how to put this…”

“Just say it,” Flare said, now getting a little worried. She wasn’t having second thoughts about the relationship was she? Twilight must have been a mind reader as she suddenly turned.

“I love you Flare, you and Daring, so if you’re having that thought, get it out of your head right now.”

The stallion nodded and put a hoof on the table. “Then what is it Vel? You’re freaking me out here.”

“I…” He was right, she couldn’t keep skirting around the topic like this. And if she didn’t tell him soon, then Daring or Upper Crust might. “Flare, I… I’m pregnant,” she mumbled.

The stallion paused and a small frown creased his brow. “What?”

“I said I’m pregnant,” she said in a clearer tone. “And before you even ask, yes you’re the father. There’s nopony else who could be.”

“I…” Flare sat back in his chair. “How?” The deadpan expression Velvet wore answered that. “Well I know how,” the stallion groaned. “I mean… are you certain?”

Velvet’s expression remained the same. “Yes Flare, I’m certain.”

“I uh…” he scratched his head. He winced and dared a look at her. “When?”

“A better question,” Velvet nodded. “Remember the night with the maid outfit?”

Flare’s mouth made a little ‘o’ shape and he nodded. How could he forget? That night was likely one of the greatest of his entire life.

“Yes well, seems my spells didn’t quite have as potent an effect as I’d hoped,” Velvet said with a sigh. “So um… that’s what I needed to say.”

“How long have you known?” he suddenly asked and Velvet winced. To be honest, she’d really hoped he’d not asked that.

“Well…” she said, deciding to rip that bandage off as quickly as possible. “A few days after that night actually.”

“So at least a month,” Flare said once he’d added that up. “And you waited this long?”

“It wasn’t an easy thing to tell you!” Velvet cried. “I...I didn’t know how you’d—” She caught herself, but Flare filled in the blanks.

“How I’d react?” Flare replied tersely. It… actually hurt a little that she couldn’t trust him like that. He didn’t say anything else after that, and that was how we reached the current moment.

---

It’d been a few minutes now, the stallion being oddly pensive about things. He just stared down at the table, not really focusing.

“Flare?” Velvet dared to speak, her nerves causing her voice to crack.

The stallion flinched and looked up. “Oh, sorry,” he chuckled. “I spaced for a moment there. Just, trying to organise things upstairs.” he got up from his chair and walked towards her. “Geeze Vel, how did I wind up with such a silly pony for a marefriend?”

“…What?” Velvet squeaked out.

“Did you think I’d run out on you or something?” he said and nuzzled her. “Just because of this?”

“W-Well…” the thought might have crossed her mind… a few times. And kept her up at night.

“Silly pony,” Flare nuzzled her. “As if I’d do something like that. Hell, I’ve been trying to get Daring pregnant for two weeks now.”

“…what?” Velvet said, confused for an entirely different reason now.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “I may just have to put a few things into motion sooner than expected.” He stepped back and booped her nose with his. “So on that note, I have to head out to Ponyville tomorrow to run a few errands okay?”

“…what?” Velvet seemed to be stuck on repeat now. Flare’s horn lit up and he pinched her flank, making the mare yelp and glare at him.

“Welcome back,” he mused. “And I’m happy Velvet. I’m really happy to be able to raise a child with you… unless, you don’t want me to?”

“What? NO! I mean, yes! Um…” Velvet panicked and looked rather flustered. Flare chuckled and kissed her nose.

“Don’t worry,, I get what you mean,’ he said and hugged her close. “I love you Twilight Velvet. With all my heart. Never ever forget that.”

“You’re right, I am a silly pony,” she giggled and hugged him back. “Oh Flare, I’m so happy.”

“As am I,” he nodded as he thought about the work ahead. The coming days were about to get very busy for him.

And their quiet moment was shattered by a particular pegasus mare poking her head around the corner. “Are you two done with the drama yet?”

The two unicorns looked at one another, before a mixed aura snared the adventurous pegasus mare, Daring squeaking in protest.

“Seems we have a rude mare to discipline,” Velvet licked her lips.

“Yup,” Flare grinned. “You got that new bit and bridle yesterday right? Wanna get it out?”

“Oh Tartarus,” Daring muttered as she was dragged upstairs. And curse herself for looking forward to it.

---

Flare stretched as he exited the train to Ponyville. He was all alone this time, no sexy pegasus mare to back him up. That said, he did look left or right, trying to find the Solar Priestess that had some kind of hate for him for whatever reason.

Thankfully he didn’t see her or that minty unicorn friend. With a sigh, he stepped off of the platform and looked around. It only now occurred that his destination was unknown. He had no idea where Miss Sparkler’s work actually was.

“Well… crud,” the stallion muttered. He’d have to ask somepony. Somepony else cleared their throat from behind him, he realised that he was blocking off the platform for other passengers. He turned to apologise only see a familiar mare.

Lady Rarity, the seamstress that Coco was studying under. Her eyes widened slightly as she recognised him as well and smiled at him, “Ah, Flare. It’s so good to see you again. What brings you to this little town?”

“Actually,” this was perfect, a mare like Lady Rarity would know for sure. “I’ve come to see Miss Sparkler. I don’t suppose you know where she works?”

“Oh?” Rarity was a bit surprised about his choice, but didn’t think much of it. “Well I would assume her shop is still open at this hour. Come, follow me. It’s not far from here.”

He lifted one of her ivory hooves and placed a kiss upon it. “You have my deepest thanks milady.”

Rarity lightly blushed and giggled, “Think nothing of it, darling.”

“Hey!” a voice from up above spoke. Captain Thunderlane landed beside Rarity, “Is this stallion giving you any trouble?”

Rarity rolled his eyes, “No, Thunderlane. He was simply being a gentlestallion. Maybe some ponies could learn a thing or two about being one.” Thunderlane shot her a frustrated look. “I’m simply showing Coco’s brother to Sparkler’s shop.”

Flare noted his uniform and snapped a salute. “Lieutenant Flare Blitz, Canterlot Battle Mage Corps,” he announced.

“Captain Thunderlane, Ponyville Militia.” Thunderlane snapped a salute. “So what do you want with Sparkler?”

“Just to commission a few pieces from her,” Flare replied as Rarity started walking, the two stallions trailing behind. “I promised her the last time I was here.”

Thunderlane mulled that over, “Something special planned?”

“Something like that,” Flare nodded as he looked forward, then to the side to avoid looking at Rarity’s swaying rump.

Thunderlane didn’t have that problem, “Well I hope it works out for you.”

“Thanks,” he replied with a small nod. “I’m just hoping Sparkler doesn’t mind whipping up two rings as quickly as possible.”

“I’m sure she can do it,” Thunderlane stated. “I’ve never met a better jeweler.”

“That’s what I hoped to hear,” Flare nodded, as Rarity couldn’t help but overhear the word ring and her mind drew a certain conclusion. Flare was here with a pretty pegasus mare last time…

“Well here we are,” Rarity stopped before a small shop. “She should be inside. She might be in the back, so just ring the bell on the counter if you don’t see her.”

“Many thanks milday,” Flare nodded, but opted against offering a Noble gesture in light of her coltfriend being here. So he simply gave a polite nod. “And tell Coco I said hello. Though she might hunt me down to hug me once she finds out I’m here.”

Rarity giggled, “I’m sure she would. She absolutely adores you. Now I won’t keep you. Come, Thunderlane.” She started off with Thunderlane in hoof.

“Take care kids, don’t get up to too much mischief,” Flare smiled, unable to stop himself from teasing the couple a little. Enjoying the slight stumble in their step, he chuckled and stepped inside, taking a moment to look at the jewelry in the display cases. There were some amazing pieces in here, did that young mare really make all of these herself?

He raised a hoof and rung the bell on the counter, before he decided to tease her a bit. “Guard inspection!” he called out in a loud, authoritative tone.

Sparkler rushed out of the back, “I was just cleaning—” She eyed Flare, narrowing her eyes. “That wasn’t very funny.”

“Well, it’s not untrue,” he chuckled at the panicked look on her face. “I’m a guard, and I’m inspecting your work.”

Sparkler sighed, before smiling. “So what are you here for then?”

“Well,” the stallion said with a smile of his own. “I’m here to make good on one of my promises.” He pulled out what appeared to be a rather sizable bag of gold bits. “I’d like to commission two rings. One for a unicorn, and one for a pegasus, specifically, your Aunt Daring.”

Sparkler’s eyes widened, “And these are for…?”

“Engagement rings,” Flare specified. “I plan to propose to them. As soon as possible actually.”

Sparkler beamed at him, “Oh I already have one for Daring all whipped up.” She winked at him, “Just in case she found a stallion or mare she liked. Now for the unicorn, what do you have in mind?”

“Wait… seriously?” Flare blinked and rubbed his head. Well that saved some time. “So Velvet… I’d like something in silver, a horn ring. And…” he paused and smiled. “Three gems. A Ruby, a Sapphire and a Topaz.”

Sparkler nodded, “Do you have her horn measurements?”

“Yup,” he said and floated out a piece of paper. He had to take them in her sleep one day, as well as Daring’s hoof size, but he guessed the latter was unimportant now.

Sparkler read over the note and nodded, “Thankfully, I have some silver rings of that size. It will take a bit of time to work the gems in, but I can make it work. Shouldn’t take too long.” Sparkler tapped the counter, “Though, I am curious as for your intended ring for Daring.”

“I was going to go gold, to suit her coat colour,” Flare pointed out. “Same three gem design, but swapping the Topaz for a pink diamond. I was also going to have ‘I love you’ etched on the inside of the band in ancient runic.”

Sparkler giggled, “I think I can rearrange my ring. Probably better then my idea anyways. Should be finished this afternoon and don’t worry, you get a discount since you’re technically family already.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I want to make sure you get paid for the time and effort. I brought enough hopefully.” he held up the small sack. “Is three thousand bits enough?” He’d not bought jewelry before, so he figure fifteen hundred a piece should be enough for a good ring.

Her eyes widened, “Three thousand?”

“Is it not enough?” he asked worriedly. “I can have more wired to me this afternoon. Would five or six be enough? Or maybe ten?”

Sparkler started sputtering, trying to comprehend so many bits being thrown at her for such a small job. “Uhhh, well, that’s kinda….”

“Twenty?” Flare hazarded a guess. Jewelry was much more expensive than he could have guessed.

“It’s a simple job!” Sparkler shouted, stopping the pair rise. “I don’t need that much!” Her eyes widened when she realized what she just said, “Uhhh, forget that. Twenty thousand is totally…..” She sighed. She couldn’t do that. Aunt Daring would find out eventually. “Two hundred and five bits would be the usual cost for all that.”

He left a thousand on the table. “Because I believe these lovely pieces are worth it,” he said and then pulled out another slip of paper. “Also, a small gift.” He floated it over and written on it was an address… and the photo of a very handsome Vamphirine stallion. He had rich golden eyes, a deep stormy grey coat and mulberry red hair.

Sparkler’s ears burned as they perked at this, “Ummm, this is…” She gulped. “A bit unexpected.”

“I promised something else last time as well,” he smiled. “His name is Stormy Flair. He works as a Night Guard, but also has a side stint as an artist. That’s his address there, if you feel like sending him a letter~”

“And he’d receive this letter?” Sparkler asked. “For curiosity’s sake, of course.”

“That’s his home address,” Flare said. “He lives alone. A rather nice place in the Artisan’s District if I’m not mistaken.” he gave her a small wink. “In case you were curious of course.”

Sparkler tucked away all that for later, “Well I’m sure this covers everything. A pleasure doing business with you.”

“And you as well Miss Sparkler,” Flare nodded and turned. “I’ll see you this afternoon then.” As he walked out, she looked at the picture, then to Flare’s toned flanks… Were all Guards built like that?

Sparkler guessed so and really envied those who got to live by the guard’s barracks. That and she wished that the local militia were like that. Not that they were pushovers, of course! “See you!” She waved him off. And once he left… the door swinging shut behind him…

Sparkler decided to take that photo and address to the backroom. She needed to write a letter first before the order. This was a must.

---

Flare reached Ditzy’s house, his next point of call as it was closer than the Boutique. He raised a hoof and knocked, hoping the wall-eyed mare was home.

Luckily for him, she was. The door opened up within a minute of him knocking. Ditzy smiled, “Oh hello, Flare. Nice to see you again.”

“Hello Miss Doo,” Flare cordially bowed his head. “I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time?”

Ditzy moved aside, “No problem.”

“Thankyou,” Flare said as he stepped inside and the smell of baking muffins made his stomach growl, making him regret skipping breakfast to catch the early train. A flurry of movement and he lifted a leg to see a light purple filly attached. “Ah, I seem to have come down with a case of Cute Filly again.”

“Flare!” Dinky waggled her tail as she kept hold of said leg. “You’re here!”

“Heya small stuff,” Flare chuckled and nuzzled her mane. “Have you been good for your Mom?”

Dinky nodded, “Yep, I have.”

Ditzy snickered, “She’s been good, but I wouldn’t expect anything else from my little muffin.” Ditzy pulled the little filly into a hug.

“Hhmmmmm!” Flare tapped his chin, thinking rather overdramatically. “Good enough for saaay, this?” he pulled a little plush ursa from his bag, it’s button eyes looking at Dinky.

Ditzy squealed and jumped out of her mother’s embrace. She rushed over and took the ursa plushie into her arms, “Thank you. I love it already.”

Flare smiled, happy she liked it. Admittedly, he may have also done it to butter up Ditzy a bit. Speaking of… He turned to the pegasus mare and smiled. “So um… I have something important to ask you.”

Ditzy turned herself from her daughter and to him, “Oh? What is it?”

“Well,” he said, rubbing one leg with the other. “Seeing as how Daring has never told me where I could find your parents, I figured her sister would be the best to ask…” he took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’d like your blessing to marry Daring Do.”

Ditzy paused and then tried to stifle a chuckle, “Couldn’t find… I would think my sister of all ponies would know where something or somepony is. Probably just doesn’t want you peeking at her foal pictures.”

“Probably,” Flare snorted, now making it a life goal to find those pictures. “So um… is it okay if I marry her?”

Ditzy raised an eyebrow before pulling him into a hug, “Why would you think I’d say no? You really are a silly pony.” She laughed.

“W-Well, I wanna do right by both my mares,” he said stiffly, feeling a little embarrassed. “And I read asking the parents or a sibling is tradition.”

“Well you can find mom and dad in Trottingham,” Ditzy said. “As for myself, of course you can. Besides, not everypony follows that tradition. I mean, you both love each other and want this right?”

“Well, we love each other, but I haven’t proposed yet,” Flare said. “I… honestly don’t know how she’ll react. Her or Velvet…” he knew they’d been married before… well Velvet had, he wasn’t sure about Dare. Would they want to do it again?

“Oh she’s into you,” Ditzy stated. “My sister would jump into your arms if you asked.”

Note, actually ask her to do that. It would be another Darling Do Moment.

“Thank you,” he smiled and hugged her back, his body was rather warm to hug. A bonus for being an Elemental.

“No problem,” Ditzy smiled and pulled back. “Now what would you like? I can’t very well just let you leave without offering a snack or something.”

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…”

Ditzy shook her head, “Nope, I’m going to treat to something and you’re going to like it.”

“Well if it’s more of those delicious muffins, how could I not?” Flare smiled back. “I loved eating your muffin last time. So delicious and moist. Easily the best I’ve ever had.”

Ditzy giggled, “I’m glad you thought so. I put a lot of time and effort into making them.” She trotted off to the kitchen.

“Mhm,” Flare hummed as he sighed at the smell. “Daring might smack me if I ate them too much. But it’d be sooo worth it.”

Ditzy nodded and motioned to a small array of muffins and other pastries. “So what do you fancy?”

“What does the chef recommend?” Flare asked her. “My tastebuds are in your hooves, soon to be big sister.”

“I’d recommend a cinnamon roll glazed with orange icing,” she licked her lips. “They’re fresh too.”

He nodded and took one, before taking a bite and the most blissful expression crossed his face. Velvet’s cooking was great. Daring’s could be weaponized with it’s lethality.

Ditzy’s was straight up God-Tier.

“Marry me?” he asked with wide puppy-eyes.

Ditzy put a hoof over her lips and giggled, “I think you’re mistaking me for my sister, Flare.”

“Cooking… so gooood,” Flare groaned. His days were forever darkened for not being able to eat this everyday.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Ditzy stated. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“Well I have time to kill until Sparkler finishes the rings,” Flare said. “Do you need a hoof with anything around the house?” He’d thought to make himself useful anyway.

Ditzy tapped her chin and shook her head, “Not really. I didn’t have much planned today other than a little cleaning.”

“Well I don’t mind helping with that,” Flare smiled. “I’ll even do it for you if you like. You can just put your hooves up and spend time with Dinky.”

Ditzy frowned, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind,” Flare said with a nod. “Really, I can’t stand sitting around idly.”

“Well if you insist,” Ditzy said as Flare ushered her and Dinky away. Once they left, he turned to the house and nodded. Time to clean!

---

When she returned a few hours later…

Her house practically sparkled. Everything had been cleaned so… meticulously. She looked in the kitchen to see her floors so polished, she could see her reflection. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear her house had been replaced with a brand new one.

“Oh, hello,” Flare poked his head out from the hallway. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Wow,” Ditzy looked around. “Just… wow. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“Well I started… then just kinda kept going,” Flare chuckled and rubbed his head. “Drilled into me since I was a colt. Mom was always a perfectionist.”

“Well, just….” She hugged him. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Dinky hugged him too. “Thank you!”

“It’s no big deal,” Flare smiled and hugged them back. “Sides, we’ll be family soon right? Family helps each other. Did you have fun spending the day with Dinkydorable here?”

Ditzy nodded, “She’s a delight as always.” She nuzzled her daughter.

“Glad to hear it,” he nodded. “But I must be going, I have to see my sister before I leave, else I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Alright,” Ditzy pulled away. “Say goodbye, Dinky.”

Dinky waved her little hoof, “Goodbye mister Flare.”

“See you next time lil muffin,” he nuzzled her forehead. “I’ll send a letter with invitations after we make a date too.”

“We’ll be there,” Ditzy nodded. “No doubt about that.”

“Glad to hear it,” Flare said and smiled. “Well, take care. Time to see your other daughter again.” he left a moment later, humming a small tune as he strode through town towards the jewelers.

---

Flare magicked the door to Sparkler’s shop open and stepped inside, looking around to see if the mare was in or not. Not seeing her upfront, he dinged the little bell again.

Sparkler trotted out of the back and smiled, “Ah, just in time.” She turned her head to float the two rings out with her magic and place them on the counter before him. “Here you go, just as you asked.”

Flare held his breath as he looked at them. They looked…

“Beautiful,” he whispered. “As much as the maker and the ones that will get them.”

Sparkler blushed and giggled, “Now I see how you got to my Aunt. I know she’ll love it.”

“I know she will,” he nodded and moved around the counter to hug the slender mare. “Thank you Sparkler. This means a lot to me. More than a lot.” Oh heavens… he smelled like cinnamon and a light stallion musk~

Sparkler hugged back, blushing a bit more. “You’re welcome.”

He eventually broke it, leaving the mare to blush more as he took the rings and placed them in their little boxes. “Right, now to prepare everything else. You take care Sparkler. And I’ll be sure to spread the word of your amazing work around Canterlot.” He paused and smiled. “I might even tell a rather special somepony about it.”

Sparkler beamed at him, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Flare really wanted to see her face when she gets that letter. Note, send one to Ditzy to have a camera ready. He waved with a hoof and exited her store soon after. He needed to see somepony else before leaving.

---

“So um…” he fidgeted in place as he sat opposite Coco and Rarity, sipping his tea nervously. “Well Coco, I have some news I want to share.”

Coco raised an eyebrow, “Oh? What is it, big brother?”

“Well um…” he lifted the two little boxes out and looked at them, before showing the two mares the rings. “I’m gonna ask Yearling and Velvet to marry me.”

Coco gasped and covered her hooves over her face, “Big brother, I”m… that’s wonderful.”

Rarity simply smiled, “I am so happy for you.”

“Yeah, I still have to work out the finer details,” Flare nodded. "And, I have a favour to ask little sis.”

Coco eagerly smiled, “And that would be?”

“I want you to design and make the wedding dresses.”

Coco was silent. Rarity squealed, “That would be the perfect assignment for her. Coco dear really needs to try things more on her own.”

“I’m not that good,” Coco mumbled.

“You have potential,” Rarity put a hoof on her shoulder. “I have seen it and I’m sure you can do this.”

"Exactly!" Flare agreed. "You're one of the best lil sis. I know you'll do an amazing job."

Coco looked at Flare and sighed, “Alright, I’ll do it.” She smiled, “Who knows, maybe it will be fun.”

“I know you can do it,” Flare said as he sat next to her and pulled the tiny mare close. “You’re an amazing designer sis. I saw that review of your trip to Manehatten. The one with Princess Sunset?”

Coco blushed in embarrassment, “Oh that was nothing, really.”

“Are you kidding, it was amazing,” he said and nuzzled her. “I can’t think of anypony more suited to do this… er, no offense Lady Rarity.”

Rarity snorted and shook her head, “I shan't take offense for the praise of the work of my apprentice.”

“Plus she gets all super cute when you praise her,” Flare chuckled, nuzzling Coco’s ears. “Like a little red marshmallow.”

Coco blushed even more at that, burying her face and squeaking.

“See! She’s totally adorable.” Flare pointed out and ruffled her mane. “I still don’t know how she doesn’t have mares and stallions lining up for her.”

“Oh, she’ll find the right one eventually,” Rarity added.

“Mhm, then I get to be the threatening Big Brother,” Flare smirked and nodded proudly. “And Mom is always scary, so there’s that. Any pony getting involved with us needs to have thick skin.”

Coco was too busy blushing and squeaking about the conversation.

Rarity just nodded, “I can imagine, but fret not. There are plenty of fish in the see, as the saying goes.”

“Mhm,” Flare smiled and booped Coco’s nose with his. “I can’t wait to really introduce Velvet and Yearling to you properly. Just… keep an open mind with Velvet. She can get kind of intense.”

Coco nodded, “I trust you, big brother. I’ll do my best when I meet her.”

“Right,” Flare nuzzled her again and stood up. “I need to go or I’ll miss my train. You take care okay Little Bean.” He smiled at her employer. “And you as well Lady Rarity. My thanks for your assistance today.”

Rarity waved him off, “Happy to be of assistance, Flare. Do stop by whenever you wish.”

“I shall,” he gave Coco one last hug and trotted from the Boutique, making haste for the train station. Now he had one more pair of ponies to visit. And this might not be quite as fun.

---

“Sooooooo~” Twilight dangled upside down in the air as she braided Shining’s mane. “What do you suppose Mommy’s lil boy toy called us here for?”

The pair were in Twilight’s room in the castle, the mare in question having promised to keep the place… somewhat normal. It was still far more spacious on the inside, as pocket dimensions tended to be. The siblings were on a small island, surrounded by a creaming soda ocean. The clouds above were shaped like Princess Celestia and Trixie doing… things that made Shining blush when he looked.

And with a crack of pink light, Cadance also appeared, looking just as confused as the other two.

Shining was too busy rubbing his forehead to stave off a headache to think about it, “Twily, can you please not call him that. Ever?”

“What?” Twilight hummed as she kept changing the colour of the ribbons in his mane. Cadance letting out a small snort of amusement. “What should I call him then?”

“Flare?” Shining said. “Or maybe Idiot or Buffoon.”

“Shining!” Cadance scolded him and booped his nose. “That’s rude.”

“I call it like I see it,” Shining mumbled to himself.

“Speak of the devil,” Twilight hummed as the door attached to… thin air opened and Flare stepped through, looking around in equal parts wonderment and confusion.

“Huh… this is new,” he said. “Wasn’t this place an amusement park last time?”

“Emby’s scared of roller coasters,” Twilight explained like that was reason enough. “Now, what’s with the fam reunion firebutt?”

“Ah, that,” Flare said as he closed the door. “Well, I… actually have some news for the three of you.”

Shining spared a glance at Cadance and… why was she sparking from the horn, beaming like a lighthouse and practically vibrating with happiness? Wait, he didn’t want to know why. He had an inkling he wasn’t going to care for the reason.

“So uh… how to start?” Flare said as he looked at the odd trio. Now that he thought about it, the family he wanted to marry into was… strange. A Princess, Shining. The most powerful Chaos mage ever… “Well, I guess I’ll start with the fact that Shining and Twilight are getting a younger sibling.”

Twilight froze in midair.

Shining’s eyes widened slightly, “Care to run that by me again?”

“Your mother, Twilight Velvet, is pregnant,” Flare stated quite clearly.

Cadance’s mouth was open slightly, a high pitched, near endless ‘squee’ coming from her muzzle.

“YES!” Twilight cheered, fireworks going off in the background as she flipped in midair. “I’m not the youngest anymore! WOOO!”

Shining was gritting his teeth, “Yes… super… great.”

“The other thing is,” Flare said, wary of the unicorn. “I want to marry Velvet and Daring. And should you guys be okay with it, I’ll be proposing soon.”

“YES!” Cadance cheered and hugged Flare. “A million time yes! Ooooh! This is SO EXCITING!”

Shining Armor was not sharing Cadance’s enthusiasm. He was groaning, rubbing his head to stop another headache. “Well this is happening, apparently.”

But because he stopped like that, he also noticed the storm clouds gathering above them. He turned as a pressure weighed down on his horn, Twilight’s small frame blazing with magical power. Her body crackled as her eyes burned with rage.

“NO!” Twilight yelled, the space around them trembling. “I WON’T ACCEPT THIS!”

Shining quickly stood up to face her, “Twily, calm down. You don’t have to get mad about this.” Well he sort of was, but he needed to calm her down.

“Oh don’t you bucking start ‘Mister Perfect’!” Twilight roared at him. “You hate the idea. You always have. So don’t even TRY to tell me otherwise!”

Shining winced at that, “Yes, but blowing up like this won’t do anypony any good. So why don’t we sit on down and talk about this, okay?”

“Twilight…” Flare raised a hoof, only to jerk it back as spears erupted from the ground in front of him.

“You will not marry Mom. You won’t! I won’t allow it!” Twilight’s power grew and a rather… gruesome vision appeared. That… was a lot of severed heads. “If you do… your head will adorn my trophy wall next.”

And with a whipcrack of her tail, all three ponies were roughly ejected from the room, sprawling out into the hall.

“W-Well… that went well,” Flare replied dizzily from under Cadance’s flank.

Shining groaned, “It’s going to take a while to get her out of that sort of mood.”

“So… do you object as well?” Flare asked as he moved Cadance with a small blush on his face.

“I don’t like it,” Shining stated. “But I don’t object. There’s a difference. Now Twilight and Bloodletter, that’s a different story.”

“Bloodletter has the IQ of a stump,” Cadance said as she looked at the now sealed room. “No, there’s something else here. I can feel it. Twilight wouldn’t just… turn like that. Something’s up.”

“You think so?” Flare asked, his ears still ringing from the yelling.

“Mhm, I bet my horn on it,” Cadance said and looked at Shining. “And you. You stop getting mad at Flare. He makes your mom happy and they’re in love. So what if they’re fucking. Your dad fucked her too, no offense to the deceased, so shape up or it’s the couch for a month for you.”

Shining huffed and crossed his forelegs, “Fine.”

“Wow, she does remind me of Daring sometimes,” Flare chuckled. “You do not want to be on the receiving end of one of her scoldings.”

“Oh I know that well enough,” Shining snorted, rolling his eyes. “That’s not important right now though. We have to figure out how to calm down Twily.”

“I’m at a loss,” Flare said with a sigh. “To be honest. I don’t know a whole lot about her. Even Velvet hasn’t said much beyond that she’s been a Chaos mage since she was a filly. I’ve never seen her fly of the handle like this though.”

“We’ll figure out something,” Shining sighed. “I know her better than anyone, so she’ll listen to me.”

“Yup, and that’s why you got kicked out with the rest of us,” Flare deadpanned.

“He's got a point,” Cadance said with a nod. “Maybe we should give her some time? Let her calm down first.”

“Maybe,” Flare sighed. This… did not go the way he expected. “I thought she liked me too. I mean, I’m still alive, so that’s a usually a good sign right?”

Shining nodded, “He’s got a point.”

“Yes, Twilight wouldn't have killed you… most likely… probably,” Cadance said. “But she’s never pranked you either. I think she really does like you. Which is why her current mood is so much more confusing.”

“Well, Inquisitor Trixie’s around her all the time,” Flare mused. “That’s enough to infuriate anypony.”

The cold muzzles of two pistols touched the back of his head, “Choose your next words carefully,” Trixie’s seething voice spoke up.

Flare froze as his eyes widened. “Inquisitor Trixie is Best Pony?” he gulped. He really wouldn’t like to die before getting married.

Trixie moved her guns away, “I hear you’re talking about Twilight. Is she alright?”

“Less than such,” Cadance sighed and shook her head. “She did not take Flare’s planned proposal to her mother well and threw us out of the room. Perhaps you can cool her off Trix?”

Trixie nodded and looked to Dot, “Keep an eye on this ‘Flare’.” She moved to enter the room.

Dot saluted, “That I can do.” Between Princess Cadance and the love the fiery stallion held, he could eat like a king and still not see the bottom of the plate.

“I wouldn’t,” Flare tried to warn the mare.

Trixie scoffed, “I am an Inquisitor. I fear nothing.” With that, she entered the room.

---

*SPLASH*

And that was Trixie landing in the creaming soda ocean. Before a pink glow surrounded her and lifted her up.

“Oh… thought I smelled a drowned rat,” Twilight deadpanned as she tossed her onto the island. “What do you want Inquisitor?”

Trixie shook herself and glared at Twilight, “How dare you force me to taste cream soda, Twilight? It is disgusting.”

“You lick whatever comes out of Dot, how is that better?” Twilight quipped back without missing a beat.

Trixie’s jaw dropped, “Twilight, what is going on with you? You usually have at least some ounce of tact.”

“Well, I guess I just don’t fucking care today,” she huffed and reclined in the air. “Now what do you want? I’m busy right now.”

“Doing what?”

“Chaos things,” she replied, juggling a few random items. Some kind of orange balls with stars on it. A pink plastic egg thing and some bananas.

“But you’re not acting like your usual, very annoying, self.” Trixie commented. “What is the matter?”

“What’s the matter?” She looked down as she puffed the items away. “That idiot wants to marry Mommy. I refuse. There, you’re all caught up. Now go and play mommy to that human pup of yours or something.”

A bullet passed mere inches from Twilight’s face. A furious Trixie was holding one of her pistols at the ready to fire another shot, “Don’t talk to me or about Cato like that again.”

“Ooh, scary,” Twilight waved her hooves. “Please, you couldn’t be more bloody tsundere if you tried. You pretend to be the big bad Inquisitor, but deep down, you just want to be a family mare. For somepony to actually like you for that, and not fear for their life. Isn’t that right~?” Her tone was getting more and more venomous with each word.

Trixie ground her teeth together in anger, “How dare you treat me like this, you insignificant cur?!! After everything I’ve done for you, you want to act like… like… the foul word for a female dog?”

“Oh wow, you can’t even fucking swear?” Twilight sneered. “And so what? I’m a Chaos Mage remember? Ponies are SUPPOSED TO HATE ME!”

“Well if you act like this all the time, I’m sure they will.” Trixie scoffed and put away her pistol. “So now, are you going to at least try and be civil or keep on trying my patience.”

Twilight growled through gritted teeth. “Somepony like you wouldn’t understand. Just go away Trixie. I’m not in the mood.”

“It sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” Trixie stated.

“Oh, like when you get Dot aroused?” she said back.

Trixie blushed, “Th-that is of no concern of yours.”

“Well my life is none of yours then,” Twilight countered.

Trixie growled, “Fine, be that way.” She stomped off. “I didn’t want to help anyways. Idiot.”

“Tsun tsun, dere, dere,” Twilight sang, before putting her hoof to her mouth. “DAMMIT TRIXIE! You’re Tsun’ness is ruining the bad mood I am TRYING to have here!”

“I refuse to acknowledge this ‘tsundere’ thing,” Trixie snooted. “Besides, maybe somepony needs to ruin that bad mood of yours.”

“Tch, whatever,” Twilight huffed as she cracked her tail, cleaning up Trixie’s soda-soaked form. “They they put you up to this?”

Trixie shook her head, “I came of my own volition.”

“Is that what Dot always tells you after?” Twilight smirked. She couldn’t help it, Trixie was full of openings.

…

Damn, she wished she'd said that aloud. Eh, the moment was gone.

Trixie growled, “I instantly regret wanting to help you.”

“Awww, Trixie wuvs me,” Twilight appeared, dangling around her neck. “See, you can be sweet and cute when you wanna be~”

Trixie narrowed her eyes, “If you try and kiss me or something, I will not be held responsible for the medical bill.”

“Oooh, I see how it is,” Twilight hummed as she looked the taller unicorn in the eyes. “Trii~xiee. Did you come all the way in here for a lil fun?”

The room shifted, and what was once a desert island, was now a candlelit bedroom with a massive heart-shaped bed, Trixie’s armor and weapons gone, replaced with some salacious lingerie.

Trixie yelped, “Twilight, get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Oh? But it’s so fun, it bought a summer villa there,” Twilight cooed as she looked her up and down. “Mm, you look hot in that. I’m half tempted to do things to you~ Very pleasurable things to take my mind of other things. Maybe we’ll get Dot in here as well and make it a party.”

“He’s not joining because it’s just you and me talking,” Trixie scowled. She wasn’t sure how to take this direction of the conversation exactly, especially when she recalled things about chaos sorcerers and mating.

“Are you scared?” Twilight mused as she stalked around her like a jungle cat. “You knoooww~ As cute as Cato is, I could give you a pony child. A simple anatomy change. I know Emby likes it~”

“Twilight, focus.” Trixie scoffed. “I want you in tip top shape, not acting like… this.” She gestured at her. “Now focus on my lips as I tell you where you can stuff this idea.” She seethed, keeping her eyes on the mare.

Then Twilight whispered to her, exactly how those words could be taken with the right context.

Trixie’s eyes widened and she backpeddled, sputtering. “Tw-twilight, control yourself!”

“Ahahaha!” Twilight cackled as the room returned to a… mostly normal castle bedroom, though there were flower petals and scented candles still present. “You should see your face. It’s hilarious. Anypony would think you’re some blushing virgin…” She paused and gasped. “Ohh, don’t tell me… Have you and Dot never actually…”

“We’ve done it a few times,” Trixie muttered.

“Uhuh, and I’m an Element of Harmony,” Twilight deadpanned. “Just admit you’re actually a—”

Trixie put a hoof over her mouth, “You are being stupid and I shall have no part in this. Now please sit down and let’s get this over with before I get Bloodletter in here and smash things up… wait, no, I think I’m the better choice here.” She facehooved, “Ugh, the creatures I surround myself with.”

“I’m… in a better mood,” Twilight admitted with the smallest of blushes. “But I still won’t agree to this marriage. I won’t let it happen. Not again.”

“Have you talked to your mother about this?” Trixie asked. “You could get her opinion.”

“Yeeaaahno,” Twilight huffed. She folded her forelegs and tilted her head. “No, forget it. I’m taking off now. Later Tricky.”

Trixie grabbed her, “Oh no you don’t. You’re not leaving here till I get some satisfaction. I came all the way here to make you feel better because I am nice like that. You should at least act nicer so I can pretend it’s working.”

Whhhyyy did she not like that smile on Twilight’s muzzle?

“So… you want ‘satisfaction’ huh?” she smirked.

Trixie’s eyes widened, “You’re taking what I said out of context, aren’t you?”

“Yes… Yes I am.”

The room flashed back to the bourgeois, romantic one from before. She smirked as dozens of items appeared, all of them adult in nature as Trixie donned the outfit from before.

And then Dot flashed into existence, right atop the mare.

“Have fun kids… and Vanilla is off the menu tonight~” She winked at Dot and teleported away.

Trixie growled, “I really, really, hate that mare sometimes.”

“I really, really love that mare sometimes.” Dot grinned down at her. Trixie frowned and looked up at him.

“No.”

“Oh come on!” Dto pouted and crossed his forelegs. “Just a little?”

“I do not even know what these things are!” Trixie said as she waved her stocking-clad hooves.

Dot sighed. This was going to take a while and he wasn’t sure it was going to be a rather pleasurable while.

Then… Trixie pounced him, her eyes gleaming with a slight greenish tinge. Wait, those candles were scented like Changeling phere… hooboy.

“Then maybe you can show me~?” she purred with a throaty growl.

Thank Chrysalis herself that he was a changeling and could heal readily because this was going to be rough.

---

A unicorn stallion paced around a pedestal. For days, weeks even, he’d been planning this. And by Discord, he was going to make this happen. Careful plotting, taking meticulous notes of her daily routines until the point where he knew her as well as she did. The biggest problem was the house itself, it was built like a fortress, but there was a way.

Even the toughest of structures were susceptible to attacks from the inside. And he had just the method.

“Soon, you damned bitch,” he snarled. “Upper Crust, you’ll pay for killing my master like a dog. I’ll have you begging at my hooves. And then I’ll kill you like one. Keheheheheheeee~”

Author's Note:

Two updates in two days!? Le gasp!

Comments

[Metroid Prime]

Innuendos everywhere

[Ausbrony]

8297082 - You're complaining?

[NobodieZ]

8296826
You're welcome.

[Metroid Prime]

8297205
Not really