Food For Thought
Twilight was pacing around the table in her library, the steady clip-clopping of her hooves in tact with the cuckoo clock on the wall. She kept muttering under her breath, rehearsing everything she and the Princesses had managed to put together.
Nearly a week ago, the regal sisters visited the librarian in the small hours of the night, asking her to pick up changeling research again with the intent of finding an alternative food source for Chip.
It wasn’t an easy task in the slightest. She had to avoid her friends again, making up half-assed excuses for staying in the library. It was necessary for her to remember and relive the awful experience of being trapped in a hungering, alien body. Princess Luna and Celestia visited her every night to provide assistance with their magic and wisdom, but even the trio working together could manage little with what they knew.
The best they could come up with now lay in a small briefcase, carefully sealed with powerful protection spells. Obtaining the object required a lot of secrecy and a sacrifice from one of her friends for a cause she could not explain. She still bit her lip remembering his pained expression and sad eyes.
Without much warning, the cuckoo clock lurched to life, the tiny bird jumping in and out of hiding to shriek it’s loud tune. The startled mare gave the offender a mean glare, watching him carelessly perform his duty. Just as the last of the twelve coo-coo!s stopped ringing in her ears, the element of magic felt a gust of air behind her.
She turned on a dime and sighed with relief, the Princess of the day finishing her teleportation spell with wings flared out.
“Please excuse the delay, Twilight,” intoned the regal mare, embracing her student. “I had to make sure everything was set up.” She looked at the briefcase, her lips pursed together in uncertainty. “I just hope that this will clue us in on how to proceed with helping our friend.”
“I do too Princess,” sighed Twilight, nuzzling into the wings that tenderly encompassed her. “It will be nice to see my brother after such a long time. And Chip...”
Celestia looked down at her protege for a brief moment before slowly retreating her wings to her sides. “I’m afraid you can’t go, Twilight. You must stay here.”
“What? B-But why?” stammered out Twilight, her brows furrowed in confusion.
“It is for the best that Chip not be distracted more than necessary.”
The librarian went silent for a moment, looking at the briefcase. “He doesn’t want to see me, doesn’t he?”
“No, that’s not the case Twilight,” protested Celestia. “I do believe he cares for you much more than he lets on. It is because of that that you must stay here,” she said, noting the slight blush on her student’s face. “Knowing him, he would start asking you a thousand questions and not pay any attention to the fruits of our research.”
Twilight felt the regal mare approach her, again putting a gentle wing on her back. “I know that I ask much of you to stay here and not visit your friend. I promise I will make this up to you and arrange a meeting for the two of you at a later time. Does that sound good?”
The blush on Twilight’s face and small nod was answer enough. Celestia smiled softly, reaching for the briefcase with her telekinetic grasp. She wanted to say her goodbye when the librarian gasped, looking around frantically and diving for a nearby desk.
“Twilight? Is everything-”
“I’m sorry Princess, I just have to at least write to him! Please, please please please give me five more minutes!”
Celestia smirked, levitating a nearby pillow and carefully sitting on it.
* * *
Shining Armor observed the slightly bouncing Redberry sitting in front of him. The stallion has been like that ever since the captain told him that he would be presented with their first research results around midnight.
Chip’s day was pretty bland up till he heard the news. He would get to see Twilight again! It was both exciting and worrying, the conflicting emotions seemingly stemming from nowhere. On one hoof, the dullness he had to participate in here was nowhere near as exciting or (in hindsight) fun as the shenanigans he and Twilight got in. On the other side, there was that letter that he wrote. His heart picked up its pace whenever he imagined her standing there and telling him her answer.
The changeling believed that it would be beneficial to his research on ponies if they indulged in the activity he outlined in his note. Hopefully she wouldn’t be mad at him for even asking. He already got scolded by Shining Armor over it - then again, he did push his luck by trying to negotiate an ‘I’ll answer your question if you answer mine’ kind of deal on a test the stallion wanted to put him through.
A golden glow illuminated the room, the princess of the day appearing in the center with a briefcase pressed to her chest. Both stallions gave the regal mare a bow as she got her bearings and returned the gesture.
“Excuse the delay, gentlecolts. There was a last minute matter that required my attention. It is nothing serious, Shining Armor, I assure you,” said Celestia, raising a hoof towards the guard. “Now, Chip,” she addressed the changeling, causing him to puff out his chest. The princess couldn’t help but smile slightly noticing the colt’s tail wagging back and forth. “We have spent the last few days looking for an alternative for your eating habits. I would like you to focus and inspect the results of our research. Please tell us if we are on the correct path.”
With that, the regal mare undid the incantations on the container, opening it slowly. The changeling craned his head, peering into the briefcase curiously. He noticed a tarnished looking doll that resembled a pony, with buttons for eyes and polka-dotted pants on its lower half. The object looked really old and used.
“What is it, Princess?” asked Chip, sniffing into the container. He could feel a faint scent of emotion wafting from it.
“This is a Smartypants doll,” said Celestia, gingerly levitating the doll to his muzzle. “It belonged to Twilight Sparkle. It was her favorite foal-hood toy-”
“Twilight?” perked up Chip. “W-Will she be here? Where is she?”
“I’m afraid she had to stay. There is still a lot of work to be done, so please focus,” sighed the regal mare, her lips bending in a delicate frown when the changeling visibly deflated. “I’m sorry.”
“I-I understand,” sighed the shapeshifter, going back to sniffing the doll thoroughly. “It has a scent. It smells of love?”
“We would hope it does,” smiled the Princess, placing the doll into his hooves. “It was Twilight’s idea to try this unconventional approach. We ponies are creatures of sentiment, paying a lot of attention to our more valuable memories. Sometimes, these take the form of trinkets such as this one. Certain items make us remember scenes from the past or just make us feel how we felt back then. Twilight proposed that, somehow, our emotions rubbed off on our souvenirs. Do you think you could...feed on it?”
Chip took a good, long whiff of the material. To be honest, it didn’t smell much like Twilight - the peculiar sweetness of love aside, it reminded him more of the barracks smell, a tinge of masculinity. “I-I don’t know,” he mused. “Let me try.”
A flash of green revealed the changeling’s true form, his curvy horn glowing a softly. He focused entirely on the doll, trying to reach out to the faint emotions dwelling within it. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t feel a connection. The love was there, he could sense it, but it was trapped. Like in a walnut. behind a thick shell of inanimate material, there was no way to scoop it out. With a pony it was simpler - his body knew which buttons to press, where to poke and tug to let the valves of emotion set free the most delicate streams of tasty emotions. Here, there was nothing to attach himself to. There were no thoughts to probe, no way to prod the subject into revealing its emotions. He felt like brushing against a dead wall, unable to entice it to soften and let him in.
Chip opened his eyes, blinking. He noticed the Princess and Shining Armor having a hushed conversation to the side. The changeling felt like he should continue - not only for his hunger’s sake, but to not disappoint his friends.
He focused again, instinctively his senses latching onto the material. It felt like trying to drink water from the outside of a really thin glass container. You could almost feel the wetness, the coolness of the drink, but it was still out of reach. There was no way his magic could squeeze out the emotions from the doll. Well, if not his magic then maybe…
* * *
“I’m glad everything is going smoothly on your end, Shining Armor,” whispered Celestia. “Silverline is slowly coming to - he seems awake but is mostly unresponsive. The doctors say that he might be suffering a posttraumatic stress disorder and might not be fit for duty even if his body fully recovers. The prospect of having to ask him to continue in his line of duty pains me greatly.”
“I understand, Princess,” replied the guard in a hushed voice. “Every soldier swore an oath to you, and I imagine you wouldn’t hold Silverline in such a high regard if he wasn’t a tough stallion. He’ll snap out of it, I am certain. Even with his aid, I am still not certain how we plan to defend ourselves against the invasion, my lady.”
“That is an entirely separate problem we will have to tackle,” sighed Celestia. “The best I can come up with right now is conducting more research. Twilight mentioned that Spike was capable of smelling the scent of changeling pheromones. If we could understand how a dragon’s sense of smell works compared to an equine one, maybe we could create some form of detection device. Worst case scenario, Luna and I will be standing on top of a volcano, pleading the dragons for their whelps to aid us,” she chuckled half-heartedly.
The two stopped their conversation, their ears suddenly twitching. There was an unsettling gurgling sound coming from behind them. With a bit of hesitation, the Princess looked around at Chip. The changeling was sitting in front of the fireplace with the most peculiar expression on his face. That would be the muzzle of a foal trying to focus during its first potty lessons.
“I-Is everything alright, Chip?” tried the Princess, slowly approaching the changeling with Shining Armor following slightly behind.
Chip was swallowing time and time again, his eyes focused intently somewhere on the wall ahead. He didn’t respond to Celestia’s words, fidgeting slightly in place, his tail whipping about furiously.
“Where’s the doll, Redberry?” said Shining, looking around. He came to regret the question no sooner as he turned his attention back to the changeling.
Without much warning, Chip doubled over, opening his mouth wide. A small trickle of green slime left his mouth, followed by a belch. The changeling’s stomach lurched, a glob of visceral goo dripping onto the pristine carpet. Celestia didn’t have time to cover her mouth and look away as the shapeshifter’s abdomen contracted again, his mouth opening even wider to make way for a fat, green ball of gelatinous substance.
While the Princess managed to reel back and turn away, Shining bore witness to Chip churning out the most hideous looking egg shaped piece of jelly he ever saw. The acid-green blob landed with a meaty slap, strands of it still oozing from the changeling’s closing mouth. The creature had to work its jaws hard and spit ever so often to clean its mouth, adding more to the goo that wobbled gently below.
“I ate it. Sorry. It was good though,” smiled Chip. “You okay? Your coat used to be white, right? Princess? What are you-”
* * *
The silence was overwhelming. Princess Celestia was hugging the dustbin near the desk. Shining Armor stood motionless, his eyes wandering everywhere but to the pile of goop that managed to solidify on the once vividly red carpet. Chip had his ears pinned down, waiting for the ponies to finally speak up.
On the bright side, he learned two things. The most important one was that he could absorb emotions from dolls by eating them. Something in his stomach managed to siphon out the love from the object, dissolving it only slightly in the process. It was still trapped in its cocoon made of changeling goop. The other thing he noticed was that no matter the context, bodily fluids were something ponies weren’t fond of. Be it pony or changeling, their stomach goo was off limits, regardless of the direction they travelled. That would make the fun fact he shared with Celestia some time ago not so fun anymore.
“I’m really sorry about the carpet,” tried the changeling. He apologized for a lot of things within the past few minutes, none of which managed to trigger a reaction. Well, actually, the Princess stopped convulsing as soon as he expressed his regret at eating Smartypants, but it could have been that she just ran out of juice. “I just wanted to return it before it dissolved completely-”
Shining Armor raised a hoof. Slowly, as if he fought against his own body, he turned to face the changeling. “Okay. Just. Never again,” he blurted out in short bursts, swallowing anxiously after each word. “What did...Did it. Work.”
“Oh. Umm...yes,” tried Chip. He definitely had a fleeting moment that resembled feeding. It was strange, as it radiated from his stomach rather than directly around his head and horn. “If we had a few dozen more of these dolls, I think I’d be good for a few days. Maybe.”
Armor nodded, standing on shaky legs. With all his might he tried not to look at the green spawn of Chip that lingered in his peripheral vision. He saw a lot of gruesome things in the field. He had to assist during a field surgery when a soldier under his command stepped on an old gryphon flayer trap from ages past. All the blood and screaming was nothing compared to the changeling basically giving birth to his weight in green, glistering, sickeningly gelatinous goop. It looked like the changeling was puking his insides out, the whole thing pulsing like it had a heartbeat of its own. This image the poor stallion would take to his grave, hopefully not beyond. If Silverline had PTSD, Shining understood where it could have come from and would most likely go ask him where to sign up for the club.
Celestia had her eyes shut tight. The gurgling, sloppy sounds still echoed in her ears, riding a wave of nausea that threatened to turn her inside out. She thought that the changeling couldn’t do anything more hideous than actually eating the melted remains of his dead kinsmare. She was wrong, so terribly wrong. She vowed to never underestimate Chip ever again. And perhaps carry a bucket with her whenever she would meet him.
As much as she wanted to continue gently embracing the bin, she had to stand up. She was the ruler of Equestria after all, and she felt a tinge of shame at looking away while Shining Armor apparently saw the whole spectacle. She had to ask Chip about the sensations he felt and whether or not they should continue to look for items that could have lingering emotions in them.
Thank the heavens I didn’t bring Twilight along, she thought, scrambling her weakened legs to lift her. Although knowing her, she’d probably be taking notes and sketching diagrams in between...
* * *
Chip had to move to the other side of the room so that the two ponies had absolutely no chance to look at the goop he deposited. He offered to take it back, claiming that it wouldn’t be any problem for him to carry it around a bit longer, but their united protests nearly made him back into the fireplace behind him. The Princess said that she’d deposit the cocoon in the crystal cavern below, where she would eventually gather the courage to study it. And extract the doll.
“I will relay our results to Twilight. She had a good hunch about emotional charges in items. I wonder if we could go a step further, with the saying that you can ‘prepare a meal with love’,” mused the monarch. “In any case, regardless of...this little incident, I dare call this night a success.Thank you for your time gentlecolts.” She smiled meekly. “Oh, and Chip. I have a message for you from Twilight.” Celestia lifted her wing and procured a small envelope with a simple red seal on it, levitating it to the big-eyed changeling. “She was really sorry that she couldn’t participate, wanting to at least a write a word or few to her friend. She also told me to forward her warm feelings to you, Shining Armor.”
“Wait. The big brother gets a few words and the changeling gets a letter?” blurted out the guard, squinting at the envelope.
Celestia offered a small smile and shrug, giggling slightly as the stallion pouted and turned his head away slightly.
Chip ignored them entirely, focusing on gently ungluing the seal so it wouldn’t break. He then gingerly scooped out the pristine white paper peppered with tightly-knit words written in black ink.
“Dear Chip,” it started, “how are you? I hope your face healed okay and that everything is going according to your plans. The Princess didn’t want to share many details with me, for fear of unnecessarily pulling me into something that did not concern me. She promised to arrange a get-together for us later, which I hope you will agree to so we could catch up.”
The changeling smiled and nodded to himself, continuing: “Its been pretty quiet around here since you left. I must admit I sort of miss the thrill and excitement of learning about you and your kind. It was something new and fascinating, even with all the weird things that happened on the way. Now that I’m at least partially back into it, I hope I can help some more. Please take good care of my Smartypants doll - she was my favorite and we spent a lot of time together studying. I promised Big Macintosh I would return it as soon as we were done with her.”
Glumly, the changeling looked past his pony friends, at the Smartypants doll in it’s green prison. This text would have came in handy much sooner. “Anyway, this is getting a bit long and I am holding up the Princess. I hope we can talk again soon. There are a lot of things I want to ask you, but it doesn’t feel proper to do it on paper. And without preparation. Take care,
Your Friend,
Twilight Sparkle. ”
“I can keep it, right?” asked Chip, holding the piece of paper closer to him.
“Yes, of course. But you can’t carry it around,” sighed the Princess. “It would be suspicious if anypony found it on you. I’m sure that Shining Armor can keep it for you.”
“B-But it’s for me. Twilight gave it to me, right? I own this now. I won’t show it to anyone, I promise!” protested Chip.
“Don’t worry, I won’t read it,” huffed the captain, extending a hoof towards the changeling.
“Nooo,” groaned Chip, fidgeting away from the ponies. “Is mine. I didn’t ask for your picture. This is...this is, like, the first thing I ever got from anypony.” He paused for a second before correcting: “Well, the first I got to keep”
“Really, Chip, don’t worry,” assured Celestia, reaching out with her telekinesis past the changeling’s hooves. “Yes, this is yours, and I promise it will be returned to you at a later time. Shining Armor will keep it for you and give it whenever-”
“No!” hissed Chip, fumbling the paper that evaded his grasp and planted itself in the envelope. “Mine!”
He lunged at the floating letter, chomping down on the magical aura. Before the Princess could react, he gulped loudly, a wide grin on his muzzle.
“Mine,” he repeated contently. “It’s safe now. No one will find it. Unless you still really want me to give it back? Hmm?”
His grin widened as the duo before him, probably the most influential ponies in Equestria, heartily shook their heads.
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4845136
"Celestia's Tail, a comet that passed by Equestria every hundred years to light up the sky with its amazing glow, was particularly bright this night. In fact, the radiance coming from the celestial body kept intensifying, forcing its observers to squint or cover their eyes with hooves and wings. The comet was getting bigger with each passing second.
Princess Celestia bust open her balcony door, regarding the unruly star that was heading straight for her lands. With a determined huff, she dug her hooves into the marble with an audible crack. With a heavy groan, the strain arching her back, the Princess pushed against the invader with all her might.
The projectile was hot beyond belief as it entered low orbit, looping around the planet once before descending further, still in the fierce grip of the mighty goddess. Celestia heaved and strained, her coat perspirated with sweat as she forced the mighty star into submission.
With a final yell she jerked her horn downwards, the sparkling magic setting the air around her ablaze. Celestia's Taile got thrown into the ocean, hissing and fizzling against the torrent of the eastern ocean.
The monarch panted heavily, her weak hooves collapsing beneath her. Luna only now joined her sister, looking around in confusion.
'Sister! What hath happened?!'
Still struggling for breath, the sun goddess replied: 'The Crystal Empire. It has returned'"
For some reason, I now want to see a Changeling-ified Smartypants doll.
Perhaps do distract me from the flashback of my cats horking up entire lumps of damp-but-not-really-digested catfood.
4845394
Cats are magical like that. Luckily mine doesn't do that a lot indoors. My dog on the other hand
4845240 XDDDD Nice.
Yay to gluttonous protagonist! Can he carry bombs an drugs like this?
She couldn't stay you mean?
Shining and Celestia be like "Nope nope nope nope nope!"
4845524
She had to stay (at the library)
4845476
Yes, yes he can.
4845394 oh man that horrible sound guk guk guk
4845693
If it were me, I'd rather not carry an explosive or lethal amount of narcotics internally. I'd not want to carry them externally for that matter.
4845792
Chip is different. For the Motherland!
4845836
As long as Chop doesn't cough up goo pellets in front of her, Twilight should be ok with his 'unique' method of getting love out of non-living items. I'd think she will be wanting the doll back however, even if it smells weird and has a green stain to it. It's rather worrying that the doll was partly dissolved(?) in the short amount of time inside Chip. Considering changelings don't really eat much at all, it begs the question why they would need such freakishly strong stomach acids. Although thinking more on it, it might not be acids at all but an entropy-effect from the draining of love from the item. This actually makes more sense in that Chip can 'eat' Twilight's letter and it won't instantly dissolve as long as he doesn't try to feed off it. Hopefully the goo has a stasis-like effect or the paper (parchment or whatever ponies use to write on) will turn to mush anyway.
I also concur with Shining, Twilight would be holding a beaker under Chip's goo-dripping mouth for samples while mercilessly assaulting him with questions. No doubt about it.
4845982
You, sir, win a cookie
The red mysterious organ under the stomach is actually responsible for all changeling nutrition of non-magical nature. It dissolves the food into energy, dissolving the materials inside into goop. Since Chip was bent on only siphoning emotions, the Fancypants didn't get eradicated entirely - as for Twi's letter, I don't think she charged it with any emotions, other than rather panic and slight embarrassment
Somehow, I think Chip accidentally trigered a bit of the remains of the Want It Need It spell on that letter. Wonder if the emotions involved made the letter far more nouriching (?) that should be?
Also, Chip makes emergancy bivouac using hurky lurgy slime.
4846245
4846031
Are you sure? That'd make a great next chapter...
Chip's brow furrowed. "Uh, Princess?"
"Yes, Chip?" she said, raising an eyebrow.
"I think I'm full."
Celestia and Shining Armor simply stared at the baffled changeling. Captain Armor's eyes widened slowly as he realized what that meant, while a small smirk crept up on the Princess' lips.
"Well," she said, "It appears we have found a solution."
The Captain turned to his superior with a look of horror mixed with hidden anger, which was directed mostly towards the changeling.
*arguing ensues*
And all the while Chip's letter remains underneath Twilight's bed, lost and forgotten......
4845693
Boomlings pls?
4848086
Okay. Let's have a Helm's Deep moment later on, shall we?
Well... That waaasss disgusting.
...And now he can use it as blackmail.
I'm not sure if I would be fascinated or disgusted by changelings doing such a thing.
But if there's one thing I know, it's that I envy changeling storage systems.
4848086 Forget Kamikaze Kobolds, we've got Changeling Surprise!
lol oh poor celestia and shining, what a disgusting scene that was. a 2nd time for celestia
i'd say
if i hadn't been laughing the whole time. (the reason for which...google the word schadenfreude lol yes, not nice but well, can't help it 
)
4850369
Think about the possibilities. 100% secure and fast changeling courier services! No bruised packages, no lost goods and upon arrival you get to keep the goo the changeling leaves behind! Brilliant!
4851315 Hmm… I wonder how the goo could be used. Would it be used as glue? The
gooNEW and improved duct tape!?Or maybe even a delicacy…
*Giggles* Great Chapter!
4852548
Oh god man, you're gonna be responsible for so many of the weird ideas now.
4852635
4854318 Wait, no! I was exhausted then!
Don't make me do push-ups, sir!
My face when I read the last few paragraphs of this chapter-->
My thoughts after I made that face---> "I love this author."
I laughed so hard through this chapter.
Nom!
Did the letter have any love in it, Chip?
Also, she didn’t mention his previous letter…