It Was Just Eating Pasta. Right?
Spike’s jaw lay heavy on the table. His eyes were wide open, taking in the image before him. He tried to blink several times, but no matter how much he tried, it all remained the same – Wub had her lips tightly pressed to those of Twilight, whose face was steadily turning a shade of red.
The noodles trapped between their mouths finally broke off. There was nothing more sealing their lips together, save for the sticky sauce on their muzzles. Slowly, Twilight kind of…broke off this...awkward position. She backed her head away, her lips still tightly squeezed together. Monumentally, as if her neck was made of stone, she shifted to look at Spike. The small dragon just stood up and walked out of the room. No rush. None at all. He just raised himself and went out. Of the room.
The mare continued turning her head away from Chip, feeling her whole face burn. If she would ever put her head in a barbeque set, that wouldn’t even be half the feeling that she felt now. Her head and heart were thumping in one, solid, fast rhythm. The librarian’s brain, usually on top of things and quick to manage any kind of crisis situations, sat there, with a what-just-happened expression on its imaginary muzzle.
Twilight had no idea what just happened. Time for a recap:
She was showing the changeling how to eat pasta.
Check.
She was hungry, so she asked if he would share.
Check, except she didn’t explicitly say “Can I have some”, or any variation of it. Still, a pass.
She was hungry, so she put the food in her mouth via fork input.
Check.
That motion was repeated several times.
Three.
The fourth motion…she slipped into her thoughts.
She was thinking about what happened between her and Chip.
Check.
She was thinking about that whole mess with feeding.
Check.
She was thinking of a way to repay him.
Check.
She kissed him.
…
…
…
check?
* * *
Chip cocked his head and stuck out his tongue. In one swift motion he scooped the sauce from his face and into his mouth. He wished he could taste it – for sure it was delicious, judging by how stunned and confused Twilight was now. Her scent was a giant maelstrom of confusion, insecurity, panic, fear, and a few more positive emotions that smelled too similar to discern in the chaos. Could food induce such a state in a pony?
Sweet Celestia, he should have checked that while in Twilight’s body! Moreover! He should have checked how it felt to be a mare! He had a one-in-a-million chance to feel how it was to be a female pony! And he forgot to remember it…he just didn’t pay attention to his former body. Eh…maybe, someday, after they’d be done with this whole research thing, Chip would learn that body changing spell and ask a mare, maybe Celestia or Luna, to trade with him?
* * *
Twilight wasn’t sure what she felt now – given the changeling was sitting quietly behind her, he was probably observing her. Sensing her every emotion. She was naked to him. But what did she really feel now?! Overwhelming confusion! Something that wasn’t there before suddenly came to life, somewhere in her chest, and infected her face with this hellish blush. At the same time, thousands of other things tried to voice their concerns! ‘You’re tired’, said some of them. ‘It was an accident’, confirmed the others. ‘Kiss him again!’ yelled a few, obviously crazy. ‘Don’t turn back!’ yelled most of them.
So she didn’t. She didn’t even dare to move an inch. She was waiting for him to move. How did he interpret this? Friendly sign? Affection? Meaningless motion? Did he understand it at all?!
* * *
Chip was looking sadly at the plate. It was empty now, and having eaten only half the portion…well, roughly half of it, he managed to scoop some from her mouth back there…his stomach wasn’t sated at all. There was some empty space left.
Twilight was still struggling with something, and he didn’t feel it wise to try and interrupt her. He didn’t understand ponies enough, and since there were no books here…heh, since there were some sharp objects here, he dared not risk ‘startling’ her. As silently as he could, he rose from his stool and stood behind Twilight.
* * *
Ohmygosh. He stood up. He was looming over her. She felt it. His breath on her neck made her hairs rise to full attention. The heart she swore would eventually shatter her ribs started working double-time. Her cheeks found some extra fuel to chug into the fire, causing her to physically sweat now.
What would he do? Turn her around, look her deep in the eyes and s-say some words…some words that started with L and rhymed with Dove? Or Solve?
W-Would he simply whisper to her, tell her that he’s sorry and t-that it didn’t mean anything? That it was an accident and she should treat it as s-such?!
Twilight didn’t know which was better, if any of them was worse, Celestia, she just wanted somepony else to make the decision for her!
Manual! There must be a book! Somewhere! Around! she assured herself.
But would she dare move?!
* * *
Chip tip-toed to the fridge, jumping when Twilight abruptly bolted out of the room, launching a chair into the counter with a loud WHAM. He cocked his brow, but shook it off as ponies being ponies. The fridge contained some vegetables he decided to stuff his mouth with, sadly noticing their lack of taste.
* * *
Twilight was fortunate! He didn’t simply want to turn her around and t-tell her what he wanted to tell her…he decided to go around the table, kneel, and tell it to her face in the m-most corny way possible!?
“Twilight, I think you know what I feel to you, you guessed it from the very start, but I am too shy to say the word. The L word that rhymes with Dove,” said Twilight’s imaginary Chip back in the kitchen.
“I just came here to say this was an accident. We both know that we are just friends, that Princess Celestia is the most important pony in our relationship, and we should not distract ourselves with anything other than strictly professional, colleague friendship that shall end when out paper is done,” said Twilight’s other imaginary Chip back in the kitchen.
Yes, she shot out of the room before he could reach her. It was probably rude, she knew, but he would thank her for that later! They both needed time; Twilight needed time, to understand what just happened! And there was only one, universal, true and holy answer to all and any doubts – books!
The mare frantically jerked all the tomes from their shelves, creating a banging-clanging mess, looking for that one book she knew she should have read eons ago, but didn’t care to! Not that anything like this would ever happen to her. Not even in her wildest, most ‘hot’ dreams did she imagine such a scene. The L word belonged to the world outside of the library – it happened to other mares, other stallions! And now, n-now she had the potential probability of inducing a theoretical L word situation! And there she was thinking that actually switching bodies was the worst possible thing!
“CELESTIA, WHERE THE HAY IS THAT BOOK!” bellowed Twilight, sweeping everything aside.
Bling…
Like a holy grail, there it was - the red cover framed by a gold thread. “A beginner’s guide to the L word: What to think about feeling.” The mare swept the book from the mess and teleported upstairs, hazily scanning her surroundings. She swiftly threw out the confused Spike, ignoring the throbbing in her head.
“Clean up downstairs, please, thank you, sorry, don’t come upstairs!” she said in one breath, throwing the book on the bed. As a measure of extra precautions, she put a bubble around the room, several alarm spells…and lay down on her bed so that she could see the only entrance to the room.
She had to swallow the book whole if she wanted to keep the situation under control. As fast as possible. Disregarding her aching and adrenaline-pumped body. She couldn’t savor the author’s notes, nor scan the index for the interesting bits first. Everything was important, everything could help. But it needed to be read now!
* * *
Chip was helping himself to some left-over hayfries that looked…soggy, when some loud banging from the main library room caught his attention. Slowly, the stallion closed the fridge doors and tried to snatch a peek at what was going on.
“CELESTIA, WHERE THE HAY IS THAT BOOK!” he heard Twilight scream, a voice that took him back to the times of Chrysalis.
On instinct, the changeling pressed himself against the wall, waiting, listening, his ears twitching. The room literary wafted with fright, excitement, and bucket loads of confusion. Twilight was distressed. Very distressed. Could it be some kind of side effect from the mind-melding? A defect, rearing its ugly head just now?
Chip heard hoofsteps upstairs, followed shortly by something tumbling down. Holy Celestia, she fainted and fell down the stairs!
As fast as he could, Chip jumped into the room and to the base of the staircase…only to see a mountain of books on the floor and poor little Spike rubbing his head.
“Ugh…Twilight!” shouted the baby dragon, picking himself up. “What gives?!”
“What’s going on?” asked Chip, looking around confused, trying to cover his muzzle from the overpowering stench of strong emotions.
“Hehe. You tell me,” snickered the baby dragon. He obviously knew something Chip didn’t.
“I have no clue what happened. One minute me and Twi are eating like a bunch of ponies, then she freaks out and does…this,” Chip flailed his hooves around the devastated room.
“Hehe, you say it like nothing really did happen. Heh…wait. You’re not kidding, are ya?” The baby dragon scratched his head. “You really, really think that that kiss was okay?”
“Kiss? What’s a kiss?” Chip cocked his head, a spark in his eye.
Spike’s jaw dropped yet again that day. When it returned to its original place, it got broken by a smile and then violent laughter. It was so severe a case, the dragon was rolling around in the messed up books.
Chip got a bit gloomy at Spike’s reaction – it was not amusing as ponies tended to make fun of him not understanding their society.
“You…you just," heaved the dragon, stopping to draw breath. "AAHHAHAHAHA…and then she…she throws a- BUAHAHAHAHAA...I’m…I’m gonna dieeeee- AHAHAHAHAHHA.”
Chip had enough. He grabbed Spike by the leg with magic and shook him violently. Instantly, silence fell.
“Not funny. See? I’m not laughing. What happened? What did I do?! Is Twilight okay?”
“Ehe..hehe. Well, I think she should be. Just go upstairs and tell her you didn’t know that you kissed her. She’s probably already in overdrive mode now – if you manage to speak some reason into her, she should calm down.”
“Okay, true, I don’t know what a kiss is. I mean, I read about it. In my books. But it is just something ponies do. What difference does it make? It’s like a hoofshake or a nod, or whatever…”
“Oh, Wubsy Wubsy. You have a lot to learn, I tells ya. A kiss on the cheek, yeah, that’s friendly. Sometimes. On the hoof, that’s what gentlecolts do. But on the lips. On that particular area. Well, listen…”
* * *
It’s all good; it’s going to be fine, alright, clear as sky and dandy!
She had a good pace, around 4 pages per minute, and the book wasn’t that thick, only around 100 pages. 25 minutes and she would know everything there was to know. She even made notes! Yes, these would come in handy.
So far, she learned that the L word could strike at any moment. That made sense, given that breakfast in the afternoon was as good a moment as any other. It was also written that it was confusing to many mares and colts at first. Bingo! This book totally got her. She lo-err, really appreciated it!. Why didn’t she read it earlier?!
She was now in the chapter that spoke about dealing with this L threat. Was it a threat? Did she really feel threatened by Chip? The book told her to ask herself that question.
Did she like Chip? Yes she did.
Was it more than just a meeting from time to time? Well, they had to meet every day, out of necessity. Did that count?
Was it more than just talking about work? Gosh, they were just learning how to eat pasta. This was none-work related! And there was that time when he brought the book. Ohmygosh!
Does his touch send chills down your spine? Uh…that one time with the book. It was something more than just chills. Did that count? Was it even a valid criterion!? Wait, wait, they also touched back there, down there, after all that spell-minding stuff! How did she feel then? Was it good? Was it neutral?! AGH…
Did you want to see him again? Did she? Well, not right now! Was that okay? Did that fail the test?! Did it pass it?!
Did he want to see you? HOW COULD SHE TELL?!
* * *
“Oh…Weather wings,” murmured Chip. Another valuable lesson learned.
“You can say that again, hehe. Now, can you please put me do- YEOoow. Thanks for nothing,” grunted the angry dragon, caressing his head.
The changeling looked at the staircase – he could swear he heard some demonic growling and hushed hissing coming from upstairs, as if Twilight's body was inhabited by something entirely else.
Okay, he had to admit it; he was totally bad around mares. Be it Night Star, Dawn Hope, the little Silver Heart or the Princesses, he always did something to fumble or earn himself a slap.
But with Twilight? Disaster train has reached…nay, crashed into Awkward station. All living passengers were asked to crawl out of the wreck, as a nearby explosion from Mt. Inevitable Confrontation could cause more fatalities. Thank you for using Chip express. Have a nice day, cue sarcastic eye roll.
With a loud gulp, Chip gathered his wits, said his last prayers and took a step towards the only entrance to Twilight’s Den…uh, bedroom.
He only hoped she didn’t bring any forks or knives. Chip had a short life, and wished to continue it, with Twilight’s permission.
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Enjoy this delicious chapter. I broke my jaw smiling like a maniac writing it.
Was fun!
Heck yeah!
Good Chapter, though I have one complaint....You took my rightfull place as first comment
Dude this was great. I personaly hope it gets more awkward so I can laugh at the tension.
twilight brain implosion GO
Lurv...
I liked the train analogy at the end there.
This was fantastic
What more really needs to be said?
and now i FEED
off of your corny fanfiction
and so she FREAKS OUT!!! lol, I pray for them, no matter how you would approach this it's going to be awkward for both of them.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5786-NowKissBlackSS.jpg
"Chip had a short life, and wished to continue it, with Twilight’s permission."
Is this foreshadowing regarding changeling biology?!?!?1!?
I certainly hope not!
Hahaha, oh Twilight...
I think you got down the manic and obsessive/over-analytical part of her personality down quite well. Poor, poor naive Chip... well at least he learned his lesson for now, although I do wonder what he thinks about the whole thing.
A small error I noticed:
She had a good pace, around 4 pages per minute, and the book wasn’t that think, only around 100 pages. 25 minutes and she would know everything there was to know.
"think" should be "thick".
I can definitely tell you had lots of fun making this chapter. Great job!
I'm sending you the doctor's bills for the six ribs i broke while laughing at Twilight's freak out.
Whatever you do, DON"T STOP THIS STORY!!!!
i remember when this story was unknow to most... i treasured those days
This is gonna get so awkward, that we will laugh at them!
ʸᵃʸ
And the threat of the Queen's dozen assassins is still at large, so keep the story going.
que sarcastic eye roll
"que" should be "cue."
And this chapter was amazing.
Oh god I can't wait to see how this turns out!!! XD THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! XD
1025564
My jaw has not resumed its normal position for the last 10 minutes.
"Nay, crashed into Awkward station. All living passengers are asked to crawl out of the wreck, as a nearby explosion from Mt. Inevitable Confrontation might cause more fatalities. Thank you for using Chip express. Have a nice day,"
Such win. But it was only a station. It is deserving to be a country. Now arriving at awkward land central station. Please enjoy your stay.
1026499
It was actually pretty easy to nail down. I'd do the exact same things if I was her. Except for flinging my assistant down the stairs, I don't have stairs. And, obviously, I'm a guy, so some bits would require alteration.
Right now all he thinks about is survival, methinks.
1026915
Why the long face? It's lots of fun now too! Lots and lots of comments to reply to
Also, YAY FOR 300 LIKES!
Maybe it's time for an Alternative Chapter....
Disaster train has reached… Nay, crashed into Awkward station. All living passengers are asked to crawl out of the wreck, as a nearby explosion from Mt. Inevitable Confrontation might cause more fatalities. Thank you for using Chip express. Have a nice day
Best line in the whole Fic
"He only hoped she didn’t bring any forks or knives. Chip had a short life, and wished to continue it, with Twilight’s permission. "
Best ending line ever.
1028039
Really now? Remind me to stay away from you when you get in a romantic relationship haha.
Alternative chapter? Sounds neat. I'm sure it will be a real treat if you do implement one!
1028774
I will, but it is very unlikely, considering my current lifestyle and all
The alternative chapter will be in a few chapters or so, once Twilight beats the crap out of Chip... I, uh, meant to say -- once the immediate situation settles down. Geez, them fingers, doing what they want across the keyboard, huh
sa syawlla doog retpahc D: because i derp
1029547
For a second I thought that was Finnish. You amused me for 1.2 seconds. Good job, sir, and thank you.
rgifs.gifbin.com/1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping.gif
Amazing... Pure awkwardness at it's finest...
I must say, I do enjoy awkwardness almost as much as I do wine... almost... but they are both best at their finest...
St. Ship is sailight through rough waters.
1026351 No, it was more of an comparison of the fact he is less than a year old. More or less around 8 months old, that is if I got my bearings right.
Ha! Misunderstangings are the soul of hilarity.
But now I have a bead on why this felt Gary Stu-ish. It was a combination o his amazing abilities and the fact that he seems to just gather women anime harem style without trying. It's amusing.
may the odds be ever in your favor chip
1035194
Changelings were overpowered anyway, but I said that before I think.
And he's not gathering women, more like totally irritating him. And you know why women? In the show, there were more mares than colts
He is totally powerless against the X chromosome
1035733
Hehehe. Quite a problem to have
You mean if there were more colts he could gather them?
1036114
Dude. You should learn from the comment section of this story.
Rule #1. Don't give me ideas. I'm silly and funny enough to use them!
1036215
Dude, I love M/M shipping. These ideas are good things
*Sigh*
"Goth1 to Clueless1."
Chip: "Clueless1 here. Wait... why am I Clueless1?"
Tucker: "Tell him!"
"Shut it."
Really gotta love Chip's obliviousness here. Twilight running the gamut of emotions and Chip is sitting there like a changeling Gummy.
lol I have the feeling if this were animated Spike would have made an excellent Nopenopenopenope gif right there as well.
Poor Chip, for a changeling whos life was a hell, he sure is on the top of innocent.
1026290 Well, since you asked...
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/25442__safe_animated_discord_fanfic_computer_now-kiss_discorderlyconduct_typing.gif
i declare this best chapter... so far.
looking forward to the next one
1055670 danny fantom XD nice
also misspelled cue, as bolded
Favorite chapter.
Spike's had enough of this. He's outie.
Whoa there Twilight, let's get to first base before assuming you skipped to second!