Flames of Equestria

by Mick0339

Prologue - The Anger Swells.

It is never so much that Aldon has hated fighting, but his life has revolved around it, and pummeling villains in rage, and burning wrong-doers, or at least to him, in flames to a crunchy crisp, has put a toll on him, but never the less, for the sake of the one he has found fond, he will fight on further. Outside of the capital: Tristain.

The only people with him are of course, Heather, the blonde healing warrior, Serven the vengeful dwarf, Lily the banished queen, Escelva the elite master of magical arts, and the two elf siblings, who Serven still despises to this day. On the outskirts of the city, Aldon viewed ahead to see the things he despises: the vampires. He had gotten close to close with them on more than one occasion, but what they do to people, just for fun made Aldon's blood boil. As such, he released his seal on his inner demon.

"So, you wish to summon up the power granted to you again?"

"Yes." Aldon had a true rivalry with the demon, but instead of a tense feud, it was now a fun game of shenanigans between them, as Aldon finally understood it's purpose for him.

"To banish out the ones who pose a threat to the almighty Counter-weight of Divinity, I cast the power on you." Aldon had gotten used to that saying of words, but it still got to him: his purpose in the world. Although, Aldon could tell, the demon hated saying the same monotonous saying to give his power, but after, after is where the fun began for the demon. "My power is yours once again. Please though," the demon lightly chuckled in it's infinite darkness, "Don't leave a drop. I've been excited for more to work with."

"Thank you, but you need to stop with the lustful thinking. We have plenty enough anyway." But yet again, the vampires deserved nothing but justice for what they have done to the country. Turning into a slave empire, using the people as caddle, and worst of all, resorting to killing children to keep the people in line.

Everyone had figured out after Aldon had, that his emotions are what fuel his power. The emotion of protection, of anger, of kindness, of rage. They all gave him unique qualities, but rage was perhaps the most powerful one of them all. It was unlimited power to tap into for Aldon. Anger and rage is what he felt towards the ones facing him, yielding their fangs and hissing with glee.

"Shall we deal with them togeth--" Lily, with her battle-hardened voice, was stopped dead in her track by the magical pressure. She knew what it was, and just for confirmation, Aldon's hand was in a fist and uncontrollably shaking. "Everyone, back up!"

Aldon let out a mighty roar, as his hand lit up in blood red fire. He didn't wish for his friends to see the other side of him, but he also couldn't let those vampires get away without being pounded to a pulp, so he settled with doing it in his own fists.

Lily's little brother laughed, with his black hair waving in the air, "So, the beast reveals his true colors."

"I--" Aldon said as he continued to build up anger. "I'll kill you!"

The battle that ensued was one of the intense hatred. While the vampires lusted for food and sustenance, Aldon raged for destruction and death. The vampires horded the group, and while Aldon began to walk with a stride, the rest of the group began to fend off their own vampires. Serven activated his dwarvern rage, while Escelva readied her stance in full white attire. Lily held up her hands to provide support to her friends, and Heather unsheathed her sword with a smile.

The hulking giant called Aldon continued to casually walk, with veins popping out at his anger. He called it calm anger. It was the combination of Anger's power and peace's precision. As a vampire came from his left, Aldon let rip a clothesline onto the vampire's neck, which dislodged the head, sending it rolling on the ground. With first blood drawn, the vampire horde swarmed him.

Back in the fighting within the other group, Serven called out, "Hey guys! Where do you think the twins went?"

"Who knows, they might've tried to infiltrate the city or get a vantage point for sniping magic," Escelva replied.

"Yeah, they're an odd bunch. They should be fine." Serven took Heather's reply and continued to bash Vampire's head's in with his hammers. Did he love those hammers, ever since he scavenged them, they've saved him on multiple occasions. His babies did their work well. He thought for a second as blood splattered, "I don't think I should be worried for them, but for what they might do--"

He could see it. They were standing in between Aldon and Lily's brother, who was wickedly smiling.

"Now, with the consent of the powers above, I may vanquish their failed experiment." Lily's brother laughed after saying this and nodded to the two twins.

"What are you two doing?" Aldon looked down on the two twins concealed faces in their cloaks, "MOVE!"

"I'm sorry, but they were never with you I'm afraid. Just as I follow divinity's orders, so too are they tasked." He waved them off and the twins followed suit on both sides. They charged up their magic and bombarded Aldon with double layered pure magical energy. Enough so to disintegrate most objects on contact. Aldon held out both hands and put up his flame shields to hold of the barrage.

"Stop it you two. What are you doing?"

"We're doing as instructed. Removing the mistake divinity made." The male stated as the woman chuckled. Spider and Nettice, why didn't Aldon get it sooner. The perfect trappers a spider and it's net. Still, why did they have to betray him, just like everyone did. Soldeirs, family, even his damned father! They all did and another batch made him even more angry as his nostrils flared.

Lily's brother would have none of it though as he smiled maliciously, "We must say good bye to the trouble maker. May your essence have peace." Aldon had no time to react as Lily's brother exploded the most magical energy he had ever felt in his face, and that's when everything went dark, with one last voice sounding out. The small, cute Lily, who Aldon had let down. "No---------oooo!" Her final word rang out in his head over and over again.

He stared into the darkness, "Death is truly grim. Alone in darkness seems fitting for me though, I suppose. I couldn't even stop her enemy. Her smile and cute acts reminded him of Alice so much and she was taken away yet again. He wanted to get angry until it all fixed itself, but he knew that that rarely worked, especially when he was dead.

"Death is a facade Aldon. Only the weak accept death. I may not be able to put you back on that battlefield, but you can still live a life. Help others to ensure no one has to go through horrors you have seen. A gift from me to you. Step through the door." The hulking demon stood over the recently appeared white slit in the darkness.

Aldon hated that he couldn't help his friends and had to abandon everything, but facts are facts: he was gone from that world. At least he had a chance to live another life, perhaps this one can be peaceful. As he walked through the door, however he looked back to see all his friends in images flash away, until he took the final step into the void.

Author's Note:

So, uhh, just a nice intro and some background on Aldon. I will give some more later, but tell me what you guys think.

For once also, the character will not be weak and able to impact Equestria with his own power.

Comments

[Fireeaters]

This could use some work. For example, you could change the intro to be easier to read. Right now you have a run-on sentence as the first thing people read of your story. You also spelled "cattle" wrong. It also doesn't make sense to name so many characters when they're going to be immediately dropped from the story. I think there were maybe nine(?) 'throw away' characters, when you only need maybe three disposable characters; Two companions, and the target. This way, there's less for the reader to keep track of and you have enough characters to fill the 'warlock and two paladin siblings are off to catch a rogue paladin' scenario. It's also believable that the three paladins are under orders to dispose of the warlock (the main character) with a trap. Remember, this whole thing is just a plot device to get the main character to equestria.

If you were trying to do what I suggested already, please try to make your chapter easier to follow.

You asked what I thought and this is it for the first chapter.