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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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God, I stayed up just to clean up the mess that GDocs formatting created on importing that chapter. I would have uploaded the next lore chapter with it, but I'm too tired now. I'll reply to the kind comments tomorrow when I upload the next chapter.
I hope you all enjoy that chapter.
Here's a line from the lore chapter meant to accompany chapter 2, just in case you're interested.
Very interesting. :) And it's definitely playing up ambiguity. Looking forward to more, guidebook and chapter alike!
that was the hottest bit of clop I ever read.
now I remember, you were the one who wrote the clop chapter for Do Humans Hibernate. You were the one who gave me a hoof fetish lol
but the hottest part is still the little bits of clocktower lore you're tossing around. So the labs invented lube made from milked marecum?
daaayuuuuum
please, for the love of Celestia, hurry up and get us to the lab, I need to see more of their weird inventions
Ok, so, this story is epic. So far anyway. And I don't mean because of the clop... I mean because poor vanilla Twilight is so far in over her head that it's cute and adorkable. And the world building you've done makes it seem like you've either got experience or have done your research extensively, so props there.
I'm totally looking forward to how Twilight's relationship with Doc and Rarity plays out :3
This is fucking awesome. A whole underground city? And of course that's Dr Horse's cutie mark. And I love the side-chapters too. I couldn't stop thinking about this story at work today. Really distracting.
So far, I am loving everything about this fic - the attention to detail, the worldbuilding, the humorous parts where Twilight crosses out her thoughts in denial. Also, the clop scenes are really darn hot. If there's only one (purely subjective) criticism I can make, it's that so far there's been a dearth of good old-fashioned P-in-V sex (at least, that's been the primary focus of a scene), but we're only two chapters in. I will be patient.
Wait, is Sweet Biscuit of age?
Her description is...worrying to me.
7424985 i almost want to like this story just for that spoilered text without reading the story proper, almost but i have standards. cant wait to see what is in store for Twi.
7424985 Did you get a bunch of italics and bold tags in weird places, like linebreaks? When I put up today's Orange You Glad We Wed chapter, I had to remove hundreds of them.
7425362
There's no need to worry, all of the characters will be 'of age' in 2034.
I'm already loving this story by the premise alone!
any chance for a Dominant Diamond and Submissive Spoon pairing later on?
Dis. I like dis. The way you write Twi's slow slide into submission is amazing.
Keep up the good work!
Reavaluating my previous estimate 50/50 Good to Evil. This society is probably good with a few fucked up things in it, or evil with a few awesome perks, or both. No way to tell, yet.
Manifest Harmony, is there any particular rule on switches ( the only term I know for those who can go from dominant to submissive and back again, if there is another term for it please let me know), or perhaps switch couples, any specific color collar or mask ponies like this would wear.... also I do hope you intend to keep this story going for a while after twi realizes this isn't all some evil plan, thes storry is too good for it to end that soon
Okay, now I'm convinced that Doctor Horse and Rarity fucked up. How badly could that have gone? If no-one had been there in the collaring chamber, Twilight wouldn't have known what the color of collars meant. She could have chosen poorly and ended up being used by someone for the evening, and need I remind you that she doesn't know the safe words or bell codes? They've put her in a lot of danger that she just dodged by pure luck. Three months and they couldn't be honest about a significant part of their lives.
There's only one thing that's really sitting wrong with me here : in your lore, why is it the awful founders get to be the doms of the good ones? They're ignorant, arrogant bullies, so they just de facto get to be the doms? I mean, I doubt private pansy is going to be dominant, but why would three altruistic, caring heroes submit to warmongering racists? That being the foundation of your society gives the whole thing a bad vibe.
I really do hope Rares and Doc are keeping tabs on Twilight in there; they know how prone she is to freak-outs. Though I daresay, given the story tags, nothing untoward is likely to happen.
7426190 Yeah, there isn't a dark tag for a reason.
7426121 Yes, they fucked up. In most BDSM stories I come across (not gonna name them here but it really doesn't take long to find one), the main character just drops into the lifestyle and somehow runs with it. That is highly uncommon in real life. People generally don't jump straight to play in the scene. There's a lot of premeditated meeting and greeting, talks about what's involved, limits, safe words, etc. It takes a lot of trust in both directions and trust isn't something you build overnight. You don't trust someone you just met to tie you up or use the safe word competently when they need it. This is especially true for those new to the scene. I'm not saying there's lots and lots of hand-holding either, but newcomers generally get a little more guidance from those with experience. There's less rules and rigor to it in real life than there is at Clocktower, but it's a combination of the newcomer generally asking more questions and the experienced ones generally eager to share knowledge and is invested enough in the group to not have it ruined by an inexperienced newcomer coming to harm because of something entirely avoidable like lack of knowledge on safety. So yes, I'm setting things up to deconstruct the usual formula in BDSM stories and discuss the dangers of an uninformed person jumping in the deep end.
7426152 Hmmm, I recall making Princess Platinum and Puddinghead submissives and Hurricane a dom. On the one hand, as you say, I didn't want the warmongering bullies defaulting to positions of power. But at the same time, I didn't want to pigeonhole baddies or goodguys into either role, because that'd be unfair and would start a whole tradition of profiling. I thought mixing it up both race and character type would even it all out.
7426088 Absolute switches can simply switch from collar to mask as they wish. Heterosexual switch couples might have to use the teleportation hub to travel back and forth between the two sites though.
As for halfway switches, by which I mean those who like to dom in service of a dom, there is a formal way of doing that. Lyra mentioned one can either join the slave keeper maid team or become a slave trainer maid for a dom. They have their own specific uniforms and collar borders. Or the other way that I haven't mentioned is to simply wear the badge for being a halfway switch.
By the way, Rarity is a slave trainer maid for Doctor Horse.
7426049 What made you change the odds?
7425980 Thanks! It's tough to keep it down, bro!
...I really should stop saying that.
7425902 Thank you! I love slides. They're fun.
7425892 I'll need to buy you a dozen then.
7425883 i64.tinypic.com/spcjk8.jpg
It was up on the bulletin board Twilight saw in chapter 1.
7425812 okaaaaay
7425751 So foalcon might be a little contentious at Clocktower. I'm pretty sure Clocktower members would be quite divided on it. The liberal consent-is-everything side might argue that as long as one demonstrates an ability to make informed decisions and give valid consent, they're allowed in. Those who feel Clocktower society thrives because of its strict adherence to rules might argue that nobody should be allowed in until they reach the legal age of consent. It'd certainly make for an interesting conflict in Clocktower ideals.
As for whether or not foalcon should be in the story either explicitly or implied (with all the attached ethical debates going back and forth between Clocktower members) or we should avoid altogether, I'll leave that up to the audience.
7425399 Yeah, that's exactly it. It's kinda a relief that it's not just me. It might be Fimfiction's GDoc importer then?
7425392 I can't wait either.
7425362 Yes, she is of age. It is mentioned that she is two years older than the twins, and the twins mentioned they've just turned nineteen. Their dialogue implied that Sweet Biscuit had insisted on them waiting a year or so before they move into a more permanent relationship and three years before they tie the knot. The twins were impatient, and that kind of thing puts a lot of stress on a dom, as you can see.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/ea/Sweet_Biscuit_ID_S5E14.png/revision/latest?cb=20150912224308
That up there is Sweet Biscuit. She's fully grown...in all the right places.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/9/12/978167/large.jpg
And she's a Canterlot heart breaker.
orig14.deviantart.net/3e60/f/2016/164/4/f/s6e12_currycookies_by_luminaura-da64rgv.png
Oh, and she loves Corriander Kumin's food.
7425291 Thank you for the kind comment! If it's the good ol' fruit'n'veg you're looking for then the next chapter will make up for it in spades. It's gonna be dickage for days. DOUBLE SPOILER: We're visiting the public cum dumps next, the last stop on Twilight's whistle-stop tour before we tie up the first arc.
7425263 Thank you! I aim to please.
7425144 Thank you. Twilight's voyeuristic journey has been interesting to write to say the least.
7425108 Sooo, how's the hoof fetish treating you? I've got spares if you need them.
7425014 Attention, get!
7424982 It's set up so I can extol the dangers of the uninformed person jumping into the deep end in the scene and have a little rant at why I find the usual formula in BDSM stories with characters just dropping into the scene and running with it so unrealistic Uh, because I like explosions. They're pretty.
7424867 Oh, I just wanted something that was both thematic and rhymed. Each safeword is a step further up the clocktower, so to speak.
Clocktower Society's kinda ancient, it's probably one of those things that kinda just stuck.
7424510 Androids are gonna be a thing, with one big role in the supporting cast, mainly as an excuse for me to discuss how free will is necessary for devotion and submission. And I kinda dig sexy android sex.
7424339 Thank you!
7423935 Yep, though Lyra did mention that sharing in the faith hasn't been a requirement to join in millenia, and in fact there's quite a bit of friction between the cultists and the rest of the society, as Lyra demonstrated quite bluntly.
7423907 It was a pretty big lampshade. I needed a crane to get it in place.
7423422 Me too.
7423304 Thanks for the feedback! I understand what you're saying. There are two reasons for why things are the way they are, both in-story and system-wise. In-story, the original cult that created Clocktower Society (who have been reduced to being the annoyingly loud kids in the corner these days) believed that domination, submission and devotion was what fueled the Fire of Devotion. The six founders were already romantically involved before the war and when they realized it was the end they just decided to have one last tender moment together. It turned out to be hot enough to melt all the ice. And the cult have kept the fire burning ever since by maintaining the same practices and traditions. The society was eventually opened to non-believers, but by then the BDSM-esque traditions had stuck and in fact became the attraction point for newcomers. Systemwise, I envisioned a system where people can pick and choose whatever kinks they like and consent to, hence the collar coding system. So someone who wishes for a tame kink can easily put on a plain red collar (signifying no owner) with no studs (signifying no interest in free use) with all the right badges on their hoof straps and go visit that part of the society where their kink plays out. They'd be for all intents and purposes visitors indulging in one specific kink. For them the BDSM elements wouldn't be anything more than a little flavour that doesn't affect them much at all. I didn't think there was a kink that couldn't fit under the umbrella of BDSM.
On the other hand, I get where you're coming from in that there may be some who don't want anything to do with BDSM at all, even if it's just symbolic. Unfortunately, no, there's nothing at Clocktower that caters to them, unfortunately.
Oh, as for how seemingly super popular Clocktower is, it actually isn't all that much. Here's a quote from the next chapter:
I based Equestria's population on the US' current population, seeing as Equestria is more or less an equine parody of the US of A. And the percentage I used is actually lower than the real life value of 11% in the US reported by the Kinsey Institute (While Durex reported 36% in the US and 20% worldwide, though that's probably kinda biased considering they're a contraception company).
16 million ponies is plenty though, with them probably roughly split evenly between the two sites (or maybe more favouring the mare site at Clocktower Equestria East if the show's gender ratio is to be believed). Not all of them will visit Clocktower every single night or even every single week though, so the actual active users at any site at any time should be around half a million to a million. That's still enough to populate a town. And that's why it seems like there's a lot of interest in Clocktower.
7426331 Ah, thank you.
7425693 Alright.
7426444 Hi, so I'm going to answer your question in two stages. The first is a copy-paste of an answer I gave someone else, just to avoid some repetition:
Oh, as for how seemingly super popular Clocktower is, it actually isn't all that much. Here's a quote from the next chapter:
I based Equestria's population on the US' current population, seeing as Equestria is more or less an equine parody of the US of A. And the percentage I used is actually lower than the real life value of 11% in the US reported by the Kinsey Institute (While Durex reported 36% in the US and 20% worldwide, though that's probably kinda biased considering they're a contraception company).
16 million ponies is plenty though, with them probably roughly split evenly between the two sites (or maybe more favouring the mare site at Clocktower Equestria East if the show's gender ratio is to be believed). Not all of them will visit Clocktower every single night or even every single week though, so the actual active users at any site at any time should be around half a million to a million. That's still enough to populate a town. And that's why it seems like there's a lot of interest in Clocktower.
Secondly, as to why it's secret, there's more backstory to that which we'll eventually cover in the lore. The society's biggest patron was Luna, seeing as the society's activities was (for the majority) nocturnal. Following her rebellion, the society and everything it stood for including BDSM became taboo by association to Luna. With some assistance from Celestia, the society went underground and has remained so for 1000 years. While it's not quite as taboo anymore, there's still some lingering sentiments. The society's not quite as reserved and secretive anymore, but it's not openly public either, particularly to help protect the privacy of its members. Incidentally, the reason the society has something as ridiculous as a Research Laboratory division is actually tied in to its backstory. Following Luna's banishment, the polymaths who were also commonly astronomers and scientists, faced persecution as so-called 'Lunatics'. They sought protection from the Society in the early days. While Celestia worked hard to outlaw the unfair persecution of Lunatics, it took many years, and during that time the Society's ranks swelled with Lunatics. Even after their persecution was outlawed, many Lunatics stayed on out of gratitude. As a result, the society enjoyed the greatest advancements in science, magic, philosophy, ethics and technology, way ahead of the rest of Equestria. They've long since become a tradition within the society now known as the Research Laboratories.
7426559 Thanks for getting back to me, I appreciate it.
I admit, perhaps I misread the sentence, if that's the case I apologize. It still begs the question though: why be in relationships with the bad founders in the first place? It still leaves the clock tower society as being founded half by more or less villains, which as guess adds to the moral grey area of the thing. Regardless, it all gives the impression that a very specific BDSM type of relationship is literally the only way ponies interact in this universe, and that's kind of jarring - as well as what another poster mentioned about how it seems to fall into the whole "literally everyone on earth but the protagonist is in the secret cult" trope.
I'm sorry if this seems harsh, I mean, I'm here in the first place because I like it, it just all seems to be a bit much.
7426725 Hi. To save repeating myself a third time, I'll point you to my post immediately below yours and my post before that one, because I've already answered the question for two other people.
7426742 Fair enough, I guess if everyone in North America was in the same BDSM club it *would* be almost inconceivably immense. And with (more or less) stable government for thousands of years, it would give that organization unprecedented opportunity to evolve, entrench, and attract members. Thanks again for getting back to me, I see where you're coming from now.
(Commander Hurricane is still a jerk. )
7426331
My personal preference would be no foalcon, or at the very least, a warning on chapters that are so people that don't care for it can skip them.
I'm reading this story for three reasons:
1) To see your take on representing the BDSM community in this setting. I'm not into BDSM myself, but I did a TON of research on it several years back for a writing project on another site.
2) To finally read a decent clop story that has some semblance of a plot and is NOT anthro (which I do like but it's so damn overdone) or human-on-pony (which I can't stand unless it's being done as a parody).
3) The absence of foalcon. I don't have a moral beef about authors who write this, it just makes me uncomfortable to read, and I've lost track of how may stories on this site that I had to set aside when it popped up unexpectedly. I would think having no foalcon would make much more sense in your story, since you're focusing on safe, sane, and consensual. That last part is hit-or-miss if the person/pony is too young.
I suppose another alternative is to age-up the characters.
However, the ultimate decision is yours. This is your story, and you have the right to tell it exactly as you see fit.
7426331 That's my guess; either an issue with the importer itself, or more likely google's changed some coding that the importer hasn't caught on with yet. Vexatious!
7426725 As a side note, I think it's a poor choice of words to characterize Puddinghead, Platinum, and Hurricane as villains. They do stupid things, but we can't tell from the play/flashback whether or not they're actually flat out villainous, or just dealing with repeated extinction-level events by panicking and reverting to their strengths-- randomness, autocratic decisiveness, and military determination respectively-- that just so happen to be negatives in this particular context. In the Journal of the Two Sisters, all of the founders have pretty much settled down and retain power, and only Platinum seems to still have any of her panic-situation bad behavior where it's unwarranted, and that only lightly. They're antagonists and obstacles, rather than villains.
7426559
Side note: in order for someone to get notified of a reply, that reply has to be made to the person both by replying to them, and doing so on the chapter they've made the comment on--or else Fimfiction bugs and no notification is issued.
[additional sidenote: I've recently come down with a bit of a bug, so I've only read the worldbuilding chapters since I don't feel well enough for the clop stuff, you'll have to forgive any missteps]
In almost every fic I've read, the population of Equestria (and the planet in general) is typically treated much lower than the modern USA, even if Equestria often parodies the city's names and so forth. In general, this is probably because technologically wise, Equestria doesn't seem very advanced. Manehatten appears to look and feel very much like 1920s USA. At the time, the population was only 106.5 million people (google).
However, the actual population statistics are aside from what I was getting at.
Unless I'm mistaken, you have everyone of the mane 6, sans Twilight, involved in this Clocktower. While they certainly don't cover all demographics, or even all kinds of women/mares/whatever, the mane 5 is a very broad selection, with everypony having, presumably, their own tastes and interests and wants and needs. And yet everyone of them is involved in this society. I'm saying that this is towing the line of suspicion of disbelief for me for that very reason.
Applejack, for example, has always been characterized as a literally element of honesty, yet she's running around with a secret society. Similarly, Fluttershy is an incredibly timid pony, yet here she is again, involved in this society that appears to resolve around strangers or semi strangers being intimate, publicly, in once sense or another. Similar arguments probably could be made of the others, too. Even if we accept that they're all into kinky sex, that doesn't necessarily mean they're into this sort of kinky sex, either.
This extends beyond the mane 5 though, since it apparently includes all six of the Equestrian founders, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance (and, presumably, her husband), Twilight's own parents, Lyra, Upper Crust, all the characters besides Twilight in the restaurant, etc, etc.
Even at 36% of the population, the odds that all of the mane 6 would be into BDSM is somewhere around 0.218% (assuming each represents a randomly selected sample individual, which they don't necessarily do, but for argument's sake let's hold that they're random enough). And again, I'd wager that some sort of BDSM is somewhat common, but lightly spanking someone or using a blindfold are so vanilla that I can't even say they count. But it might count on a survey and skewer the results.
Yet it would seem you've made BDSM a far more neutral subject, one centered on the very founding on the nation itself. This isn't to say that it might not be somewhat secretive, but again, I find myself stretched on this point. Here you have Celestia herself supporting the society, yet at the same time apparently powerless to actually do anything to stop the persecution. I find this unlikely, at best, considering how much power Celestia appears to display and hold in general. Even if her power is relatively minimized, either in the past or modern day, she's still somepony everypony is going to be looking at for guidance and to lead the way, even if it is by merely offering words of wisdom. The Roman Empire lasted over a thousand years, and people are still trying to emulate it; Celestia's influence is likely similar.
It's worth noting, for example, that homosexuality was at once time very much accepted in the western world, up until the influence of Christianity changed society against it. Since it's unlikely that Celestia would have spoken against BDSM, especially if she knew her sister cared for it, any sort of reaction to NMM would likely be short lived.
The problem with including such a thing in a story that's supposed to be aimed at talking about, at least in part, consent, is that it very much becomes wish fulfillment and the discussion or theme of consent is rendered, imo, moot.
Pedophiles (as I understand it) often believe their victim is consenting to the acts, it doesn't necessarily mean they do.
Quick question: How does one become a member of this club (I guess I'll call it)?
So, this was a very good chapter as I see it. I'm wondering if you're cleverly showing off Twilight's willingness to become part of this society. Rationally thinking, if I was Twilight and I convinced myself that there's an evil spell that corrupts the mind I'd leave ASAP. The sex dungeon was all I needed to see, no, just the map with all the names is all. Even if I decided to stick around and nose about, I'd go for a mask, since the map demonstrated that I'd have more freedom to wander about and get what I want. Granted, a collar should be easier to obtain, but that would be my aim. So the only explanation for Twilight to do what she's doing is she wants to deep down and she's lying to herself.
As for my personal enjoyment, the whole master and slave/pet thing going on is well done, as I see it. I find it cute in this chapter in particular. Also, for some reson, I really like your use of the word 'foalhole' to describe vagianias. Not sure why, but I really like that.
I'm not sure if it would be best to tell us who's cutie mark Twilight choose or to keep it a secret for now, but my curiosity is hooked.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif
7428732 We have to also remember that age in Equestria isn't based on years. Rather a pony becomes young adult upon receving their cutie-mark.
As the book shelf I placed this story in says.
I think the room just got hotter.
This is some powerful stuff, with heat like that now I know why Twilight is having such trouble keeping her cool.
I'm excited so very excited I must read on.
Loving your story so far~ Though I am left with some questions. Primarily, what about Switches? Everything seems tailored to Male and Female doms, and female subs, but no switches were mentioned. And for that matter, no submissive stallions? I guess I can accept that since in the collar info chapter it mentioned Stallions being transformed into mares to be subs. But it still seems a tad off.
7568844 it looks like they could go in as collars one day, then the next, wear masks, And stalliosn are in a different place in Equestria.
7645173 Manifest Harmony already responded to my questions there. S/he explained about stallions being subs at a different site, and said that Switches wore both, or just one or the other as needed. See, I was concerned because if they can't visit often, they'd want to play both roles while they can. But I wasn't sure about wearing both.
i am actually having mixed feelings about his...i like bondage play, but PAINplay...no. it just seems to me that someone would have to be fucking crazy-pun intended-do let someone use a whip or other painful things on him/her...
think one of this two is not needed.
their
Hm... Ok I understand that the point is a somewhat parallel to human kinks... but... FURRY legs even lubed up going in counter to the "grain" of the hairs are going to be QUITE uncomfortable for everyone involved ^^;;;
Additionally I'm a bit perplexed by the geometry involved ^^;;;
I dare say, this is a very enticing piece of erotic work.
I wanna see the new hearth warming tale in this place!
I wish this was a real society they I could join that would be my life right there
7426331
Who made the pictures? They are so beautiful even for a dark clopfic