• Member Since 5th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Carapace


And again do I answer thee: Bite me.

Sequels1

  • E Visitation
    Rainbow Dash has been happily engaged to Princess Twilight Sparkle, the love of her life, for several months. She's taken her on Hurricane's Way and shared in the rites of pegasus courtship. Too bad she forgot to tell mom and dad.
    Carapace · 7.8k words  ·  424  20 · 2.9k views


E
Source
This story is a sequel to Hurricane's Way

It's no secret that pegasi have a long, proud history as the warrior tribe. Their race boasts some of ponykind's greatest military minds, fearless legions that struck fear into the hearts of any who dared oppose them with their mighty lightning lancers and thunderhead squads.

Honor, duty, and protecting their own kind were the very foundation of the old legions, a notion that holds true to this very day. The strong protect the weak, and the weak stay safe under wing, grateful for their care.

But just how do they make such a big decision? Who determines the stronger pony out of two so closely bonded?

For all those questions, there is but one answer:

The Challenge.

Preread by Cynewulf, Jondor, and Timaeus. Thanks, guys.

Cover art by FairDahlia.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 74 )

Pegasi are Klingons. I dig it.



Great story, smuggest Zomg.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again here: you have a gift for world-building.

Whether it's the culture, history, and differences surrounding changeling tribes, the powers and domains of Celestia, Luna, and Cadance, or even the smaller things like pegasi traditions regarding romance, you have this wonderful way of making these ideas of yours come to life.

The Challenge was a lot of fun to hear about, and I'm glad you finally settled on how to write it. Wonder how many more pegasi traditions we can squeeze out of you . . .

7374732 Behold my smugness and despair! DESPAIR, I SAY!

Thanks ^^

7374734 Aw, geez, thanks. I really don't know if I'm that good at it, but I'm glad you enjoy what worldbuilding I try to squeeze in.

Wonder how many more pegasi traditions we can squeeze out of you . . .

Er ... I think I hear my mother calling! *flees*

I think I've found my new Pegasi headcannon.

Bravo, great sequel.

SFG

Aww! :heart:

On one hand, I gotta agree with Rainbow that using magic in wrestling is cheating. On the other hand, if the point is to determine who's stronger... I mean Twilight is Twilight/the bearer of the Element of Magic/an alicorn. If she's allowed magic, then there's really no point in even having a Challenge.

It also kind of ignores the intent of "I pick something we’re just about equal at and we see who’s best".

7374744 Oh no you don't *fires net gun* I want to know how the different tribes get hitched, and Twilight needs to meet Dash's parents.

7374770 Glad you enjoyed it! This has been something I've been playing with for some time, trying to figure out how to put it into a story, so this seemed like a good way to try it out.

7374782 :D

7374793 In some respect, yes it does. On the other hand, Twilight and Rainbow are both using natural gifts in the match itself. Neither is really pulling out their more out there skills, but pegasi are normally rather speedy and basic telekinesis is seen in all unicorns (Sweetie Belle has gotten in on the act, recently). However, yes, it is a bit of a dirty trick and I think Twilight admitted such, but noted there was nothing said against it at the start. Fortunately, due to wording of the tradition, it kinda fits with the whole motif of using one's strength to protect their lover.

That's my own interpretation of it, of course. I do appreciate you letting me know your own opinion on the matter ^^

7374864 I am changebug. I can changeform into snek and escape this net. :3

7374912 Alright then, hold still as my tranq-gatling spins up.

If Rainbow had just showed Twilight to Rainbow's parents before that she could had avoided walking in with Twilight's wing on top. But in the end Rainbow does not look to mind being the under wing.

Darnit, now I've got over-wing/under-wing locked into my headcanon. Nice work.

ZOMG, you magnificent writer of adorable Bird Pone shenanigans... You realise you've pretty much doomed yourself into writing a continuation of this little story - complete with Rainbow's parents reacting to their rough and tumble sportsmare daughter being defeated in her very own ancient pegasus challenge?

Yes? Good! As for this little story alone, it was absolutely adorable, and really funny to boot! Excellent way to continue Hurricane's Way :twilightsmile:

7374996 Hehe, thanks! I've been wanting to play with this for a long time, and I've been bouncing it back and forth with my good friend, Timaeus, enough that we've both just about fallen in love with it and want to put it in other pegaromance stories. It's really cool to hear that others enjoy it as much as we do :D

7374985 Not necessarily. The visit and The Challenge are unrelated—the former is something Twilight wants as part of the traditional unicorn visitation things, while the latter is a major factor in how pegasus relationship dynamics work out in this series. However, yes, Twilight is going to get her way when it comes to finally meeting the Dashparents.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must remind myself that I have other things that must take precedent over writing a sequel where Rainbow gets all blushy when her parents see her wrapped up beneath Twilight's wing. :P

7375003 We'll see. It requires me to come up with headcanons for all of the things. Though, I will admit the idea of Rainbow's parents giggling when they see her as under wing is rather tempting.

7375130
Fair enough! Excellent story, as I said, however! I think I'm going to have to dig into the rest of your library, since the stuff I've read so far has been great! :pinkiehappy:

7375140 Thanks! Happy reading ^^

Loved it! Absolutely adorable! :raritywink:

I do hope you continue this series and the tradition of embarrassing the bejeebers out of Rainbow Dash continues with Twilight meeting her parents.

I can just imagine them learning their Rainbow is the underwing now, and it's priceless!

*cackling maniacally* THAT. was. PERFECT!
OhMygosh I don't know how you do it! Creating the perfect backstory traditions, coupled with the great character interactions, all the while sneaking in the CUTEST of Bird-Pony shenanigans!
So freakin cute and hilarious! And it's so easy to see Rainbow's blush! Hahaha!

...You know, reading this makes me think of how non-traditional my primary pegasus OC is. Then again, Fireflare was raised by an earth pony in the slums of Manehattan and would probably not have heard of the Challenge.

Even if she did...

...hold on.

Hold on.

Hoooooold the phooooooooone.

Oh.

OH.

If Wishing Star hears about the Challenge... ooooooooh my.

Oh wow.

...Okay. I gotta do a thing. Excus'n'moi!

Head cannon accepted!!!

i've not read it yet, but at 6k+ words and as a sequel to a primary tradition the prequel was based on? i'd say ur practically at xenophilia level of creative world design. i don't see many of these. only 1-2 others so far have reached it. lol the 2nd one just completed last week.

Nice an fluffy. :pinkiehappy:

Shouldn't Twilight’s Earth Pony strength allow her to ROFLStomp Dash though? The changeling invasion was pre-ascension Twilight. If Dash thought this was "about equal footing" due to those actions then she miscalculated.

I love this.

This was great! :D

7376251 I think maybe Twilight's just not used to using physical strength in a fight. The magic came naturally to her so that's what she ended up using.

7376251 Fairly certain a well trained pegasus like Dash would probably still best a not quite fit earth pony, considering twilight isn't one to really be all that sportsy. I think that one of the main reasons she even held her own against Dash's figure is because of that earth pony part of her.

You know that old saw about sequels not living up to the original?

Hurricane's Way came out of no where. There were hints about what was going on but each step along the way was interesting, opening up new ideas and possibilities and just making the character come alive through the impression of history.

In contrast, this was predictable. From the challenge to its meaning to the nature of the fight to its progression to the conclusion. There weren't any surprises and while some of the historical details were interesting, the characters were all a bit off.

I honestly thought this was going to end with Twilight exploiting her Earth Pony magic to overpower Rainbow.

ZOMG, you've done it again.

Okay, busy night means late replies!

7375223 We shall see. Glad you enjoyed it tho! ^^

7375360 Birb pony shenanigans are some of my favorite things to write, aside from changebug shenanigans.

7375445 Oboi.

7375639 :D Woohoo!

7375754 I don't know about all that, but that's awful nice of you to say.

7376251 Glad you enjoyed it for the most part. As for her earth pony strength, well, raw strength does help, but Twilight isn't exactly trained in wrestling or anything. She held her own in the invasion through rather liberal application of magic and the occasional punch, if I recall correctly. Rainbow, on the other hand, was knocking heads.

7376270 :D

7376499
7376595 Sort of, yes.

7376624 To be perfectly honest, I don't think this one lives up either, but I felt like writing it because I was struggling through writing another fic. I will, however, note that part of the reason the surprise element is taken out is the nature of the tradition itself: The challenge is not meant to be "keep waiting until sunset" like Hurricane's Way was. Rather, it's meant to get the flow determined. Rainbow just did it because she likes teasing Twilight. Also, I would argue that details being predictable doesn't necessarily take away from the enjoyment of a story, rather the actual details of the story do so. Quite a few of our most famous literary works and movies have predictable, formulaic stories, but come alive through how they tell them.

As for the characters, I suppose it's possible they might seem off. I can't really comment more because you didn't exactly point out specifics as to where I might see that, but I will acknowledge that I can't dismiss this criticism. A lot of how I write the main cast and side characters is through my own interpretation of their actions and how they might play into different scenarios. So, to someone, it will always come across as OOC.

Sorry you didn't enjoy this one as much as the original.

7376631 See above ^^

7376766 The temptation to link a Brittney Spears song in reply was real. Glad you enjoy it though :D

7377079 Ecclestooooooooooooooooooooon! :D

Protips : Don't challenge an Alicorn , it's like challenging all three races at once. :rainbowlaugh:

7376766
7377178

The temptation to link a Brittney Spears song in reply was real.

I gave into temptation.

Ecclestooooooooooooooooooooon! :D

:trollestia:

7377454 "Haha! I stole your paper pizza and now I'm going to awkwardly eat it while you sulk!"

I want to see a sequel to this! :D I loved the first and I loved this one too. :D Please make another if you want.

Way to give away the ending with the cover image...

7377523 It was the most fitting one I could find. *shrug*

7375445 oh my. I sense a new Masterweaver story posting in the near future...can't wait!

You don't just get to write cute shit like this, you smug bastard. :heart: Well done.

The amount of culture you give to Pegasi here is grand, I wonder if you have any plans to show your side of Unicorns and Earth Ponies.

Great work, love the world building.

7377178 7377277
You know this is entirely your fault, you smug apple bucker.

7377758 I regret nothing

7377758
I also regret nothing.

That was nice and fluffy and very hot.

I approve.

7377178 Every time I get into the specifics of my opinions I get yelled at for being negative and mean and stuff, so I've taken to being more general with criticism. I mean I want to give some feedback more detailed than "did not like" but it's a tough needle to thread, ya know?

But since you more or less asked, I basically can't see Rainbow submitting like that. Twilight having a thrill of conquest could go either way, but its presence underscores my thing with Rainbow. Fluttershy's commentary came off a bit too direct, especially with her considering the possibility of a long term relationship without blushing herself into a coma. And I've never seen a scene with Starlight that I liked so I can't get specific there. Like I said, a lot of niggly little things none of which make a story bad on their own but taken together skewed the whole thing.

7378181 Ah. Yes, I see what you mean. The bit with Rainbow is mostly because, well, she lost so she has to say "yes, I'm under wing" according to the very rite she initiated. With Fluttershy, I can't really put forth a substantive argument aside from her now being a bit more bold (for given meaning) in season 6. Really, I don't see too much of an issue with your reasoning. It's the interpretation/portrayal thing I mentioned, which is completely understandable.

Login or register to comment