• Member Since 1st Nov, 2015
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I enjoy MLP, and Spike is my favorite character

Comments ( 113 )

Which season and/or universe took place?

Will the woman-on-top position be used?

i can see Spike getting greedy, growing huge again, and stealing all the mares.

7398608 most likely with aj.

side note: a few spelling mistakes here and there but otherwise great.

Dude ,wintersoldier, again you bring me a story that has me wanting more, great job.

I never tire of watching Spike and Rarity shack it up.

I love it when spike and rarity to the "master" ,"servant" thing. Its just so..

I have to say, this chapter was disappointing.
Rarity feels very OOC, not in her decisions but in her choice of language. It rarely sounded like Rarity talking throughout the chapter. Not only that, the 'sexy outfits' seemed to be completely unnecessary padding, since she put it on only to take it off. Since so little detail was given to the 'roleplay', there didn't seem a point to including it. It would have worked better if she stayed in the outfit and let Spike 'claim' her as her Master, in my opinion.
Could also use an editing run to catch spelling and grammar errors, but that's secondary compared to what else I've brought up.

7407724 Dude, need I remind you that this is a clopfic?

Even clopfiction can have standards. If I look in to read about Spike and Rarity having sex, I have a right to expect the story to read like it is Spike and Rarity having sex, beyond the writer saying that it is Spike and Rarity having sex. If it doesn't sound like the characters, immersion is destroyed.

7409273 It's sex man, you really don't expect any dirty talk?

I'm not talking about the dirty talk. I'm talking about how easily Rarity admitted Spike was right early on when he caught her out in naughty behavior. In character, even if he was right, Rarity would pretend to be offended and haughty about it.

7409303 Well Rarity loves Spike so much, she's willing to I mean they have that deep of a bond, she's willing to admit to being a little kinky.

Except that with how long it's implied they've been together, working through her playful haughtiness would be part of the foreplay for them. Otherwise, it just feels cheap and shallow from the reader's perspective.

7409332 Well excuse me if this is my first clopfic where I actually write a few sex scenes.

My criticism was meant to show you the areas in which you could work to improve, not to offend.

That leaves AJ, RD, FS, and Pinkie Pie.

7411116 Yep, still trying to figure out how to play it though.

7411714 For Applejack and Rainbow Dash, they don't hesitate when it comes to a roll in a hay, Fluttershy well you know what they say about the quiet ones, and Pinkie Pie knowing her, she'll want her sisters to join in to start Spike on the pleasuring quest.

7412376 I might do the last one for a later chapter. Each of the first 6 chapters will have Spike with one of the Mane 6. After I might do one with the Pie Sisters

7409343 Sorry, it's just I try to handle criticism, but one fault that's addressed to my story and I feel like I'm not doing that great.

This is good. I can't wait to read the ones for Rainbow and AJ.

I think Applejack doesn't have "Semen" just her fluid.

A purely technical detail.
As much as I enjoy the idea of the girls going commando, Applejack is one mare who - short of some magic explanation - would have to be wearing a bra. The simple nature of her physical activity means if her breasts weren't bound - whether by bra or bandages - then they'd be bouncing around painfully her entire day.

By the same logic, if Rainbow turns out to be particularly busty, she should also be wearing either a bra or skin-tight supportive clothing that prevents the painful bouncing.

Other than that one point regarding realism, this was overall enjoyable.

7438630 She doesn't wear a bra when she's either alone or try to seduce Spike.

I understand the reasoning there, but I was merely stating that it would be physically painful for her to go braless while engaging in farm chores, especially if her breasts are above average in size. Since you described them as huge - and apparently milk-laden, for some reason - this would be especially true.

7438655 The milk? That's just Spike working his magic, he can bring much pleasure to a woman.

Women don't lactate, however much pleasure they experience, unless their mammary glands are producing milk.
And even the most resilient of females aren't going to needlessly endure the pain of their breasts swinging around and bruising them the whole day just on the off chance their guy's gonna show up and be pleased.

I'm just saying the scene would have felt more realistic if she were wearing a bra. A front-hook bra wouldn't have slowed the scene down at all, and could easily have been undone as she opened her shirt.

7438690 Okay, I changed a few things.

That works quite well, maintaining the integrity of the scene while adding enough realism to maintain immersion.

7438740 I have this story, Dragon Fighter. Check it out, tell me what you feel.

7438655 Well I wouldn't say they're humongous, just large enough.

3 down 3 to go.

Her semen poured from her pussy

Don't you know her love-jus ?

Pinkie always knows what she's doing

Is R.D next or is it fluttershy or as some call her flutterslut?

Spike should do RD and FlutterShy in a threesome.:rainbowkiss:

If you doing RD next, maybe you consider doing a double and in Rainbow's back door.:raritywink:

7530764 Sorry. Keyboard messed up. I meant have him do her oral then for a finale, have him do her anal.

Just a suggestion. Rainbow seems like the kind to want to go that far.

Knowing Rainbow Dash, it'll involve flying sex and sonic rainbooms.
Fluttershy being Fluttershy involves S & M.


This. :pinkiehappy:


"Put it in! Now!" she demanded.
Spike did so, bucking his hips as he became one with her. "Sweet Mom, this feels so good!" he shouted as they both bucked their hips together.

Thank you author, for using Mom-lestia here, even as a bit of a implied way. Love it when Celestia is Spike's mommy--it just works for me.

7532178 In this story, Celestia really loves Spike. A bit too much than a mother should even if she adopted him.

I love how you made Pinkie a hilarious creep in this chapter.

Why was wintersoldier banned

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