A Daring Rescue
Celestia’s sun shone brightly over the open ocean, and the sky was a brilliant yet gentle blue. A few clouds dotted the sky like giant, fluffy cotton balls. Other than the strong wind blustering through the air, it would have been the perfect day for a nice, easy, relaxing boat ride.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Love Tap screamed, clinging to the railing, as the S.S. Destiny sped through the ocean, its sails catching as much wind as possible. Next to her, Scarlet was behind the wheel supplementing the wind with a gust from her wings every so often, as if the boat wasn’t already speeding forward fast enough.
“Whoo!” cheered Punch from the other side of Scarlet, his arms waving excitedly in the air. “It’s more fun when you raise your arms like this!”
“Still think tying your wheelchair to the railing was unnecessary?!” Scarlet said to her husband, shouting joyfully over the wind.
“Totally worth it!”
“Uh, Scarlet likes to go fast,” Cinnamon said to his wife, holding on to her tightly.
“I noticed,” Love Tap replied uneasily.
“Don’t worry about it. The ride will go a lot smoother once the wind dies down.”
As if on cue, the wind reduced to nothing but a gentle breeze, and the boat slowed to a moderate speed. Punch groaned in disappointment as he lowered his arms while Scarlet gave Cinnamon an annoyed glare.
“What?” Cinnamon cried, defensively. “That totally wasn’t my fault.”
“Well, at least, I can move around now,” said Punch, untying his wheelchair from the railing. Now that they weren’t flying across the water, everypony was free to move around and better take in their surroundings. However, since they were in the middle of open water, everypony quickly got bored of sightseeing.
“On your right,” narrated Punch disinterestedly, “we have ocean. On your left, we have more ocean.”
“And this is why, I prefer going fast,” Scarlet muttered.
“You must have had some way of entertaining yourselves back in the day,” pointed Love Tap. “How about a song?”
Cinnamon’s eyes widened at the suggestion of a song. He knew a particular one that was sure to provide the four of them with plenty of entertainment.
“We read the wind and the sky when the sun is high/We sail the length of the seas on the ocean breeze,” Cinnamon began to sing. “At night, we name every star/We know where we are/We know who we are, who we are”
Scarlet quickly realized what her friend was trying to do and sang the next part, “Aue, aue/We set a course to find/A brand new island everywhere we roam”
“Aue, aue,” Cinnamon joined her. “We keep our island in our mind/And when it's time to find home/We know the way.”
Love Tap and Punch were listening to the song so intently that they didn’t hear the faint lowing coming from behind the boat. Scarlet and Cinnamon, on the other hand, did and smirked knowingly.
“Aue, aue/We are explorers reading every sign,” the two friends finished. “We tell the stories of our elders in a never-ending chain/Aue, aue/We keep our island in our mind/And when it’s time to find home/We know the waaaaaayy!”
Right at the last note, a big blue whale came up out of the water close to the boat. It let out a happy squeal before splashing back down, lightly spraying the deck with water. Love Tap gasped in awe as she raced to the side of the boat to get a closer look and to her delight, found an entire pod of whales swimming next to the boat.
“Right on cue,” Cinnamon remarked.
“That song attracts whales for some reason. We don’t know why either,” Scarlet explained to her husband.
“Maybe they just like the sound of your wailing,” Punch ribbed.
Scarlet groaned and put a hoof to her face. In spite of herself, however, she smiled and giggled at Punch’s joke.
Love Tap could have just stared at the whales for hours. She had only seen pictures of them in books, and quite honestly, they were much more amazing in real life. The whales traveled in a fairly large pod and came in a variety of sizes. The biggest whales were the almost the size of the ship, and a few had accumulated wrinkles and barnacles with age, making them look like weather-beaten wayfarers full of tales of voyages past. The smallest whales, on the other hoof, had skin as smooth as rubber balls and an energy that rivaled Button’s during his toddler years. The baby whales were engaged in all manner of play, chasing their pod mates, swimming in circles and zigzags, nudging their mothers affectionately.
Despite the rambunctiousness of their play, the baby whales never strayed far from the safety of their mother’s sides. Watching them reminded Love Tap of when Button Mash and Featherweight use to play together like that while she and Scarlet would watch over them. Scarlet used to fuss over Featherweight because he was rather small and delicate for his age, and she often worried that Button would end up breaking him. Scarlet needn’t have worried. Whatever her son was made of, he was definitely stronger than several chairs and tea sets that he and Button broke over the course of their foalhood. Love Tap wondered if her granddaughters were similarly keeping Button and Sweetie on their hooves playing with with their cousins.
“Hey, what’s that?” Punch exclaimed from the other side, interrupting Love Tap’s thoughts.
Love Tap and Cinnamon rushed over to the other side of the ship and peered over the edge. They could just barely make out a cluster of pink, fan-shaped blobs just underneath the water. The shapes had an almost effervescent shimmer, and if it wasn’t for the porpoise-like tail, Love Tap would have thought that they were being followed by a group of shiny, pink manta rays. Suddenly, one of the creatures leapt out of the water, revealing a dolphin-like body with three dorsal fins where the tail met the main body and flippers like giant butterfly wings.
“Whoa! What luck!” Cinnamon exclaimed. “Those are marposas.”
“Marposas?” Love Tap replied in astonishment. “I think I’ve read about those. They’re incredibly rare, and they only travel in groups like this when they’re heading to the Maribbean to lay their eggs.”
Cinnamon and Love Tap shared a look with each other and knew that they were thinking the exact same thought.
“Captain!” Cinnamon called to Scarlet.
“You want me to follow the marposas to the Maribbean,” Scarlet guessed, smiling knowingly.
“How did you know?” said Love Tap.
“Come on. An entire pod of rare animals show up next to our boat on a migration path. It’d be weirder if you didn’t want to follow them. Punch, are your breaks on?”
“They are now,” Punch replied, giving a lever on his chair a good yank. “Why?”
Scarlet took a sharp turn in the direction that the marposas were traveling. Punch lurched forward a little but held himself steady using his arms and the railing. Love Tap and Cinnamon, on the other hoof, weren’t so fortunate. The sudden turn caused Love Tap to lose her balance and fall on top of Cinnamon while Cinnamon fell over attempting to catch his wife. In the end, Cinnamon Swirl ended up flat on his back, and Love Tap ended up on top of him, her face just inches from his.
The two of them, still sprawled on the floor, gave Scarlet an annoyed glare. Scarlet tried to keep her face as expressionless as possible, but the upturned corners of her mouth and her slightly puffed cheeks quickly gave her away.
“Not funny, Scarlet,” scolded Cinnamon.
“No, it was not funny,” Punch stoically agreed before doubling over in laughter. “It was hilarious!”
Love Tap gave Cinnamon a look that said, “Looks like being married to Punch has improved Scarlet’s sense of humor a bit.”
The former king and queen of Marendelle untangled themselves from one another and helped each other up while their cohorts continued to giggle and snicker at their awkwardness.
The rest of the trip passed in relative peace as the four of them continued to follow the migrating marine animals. Finally, they stopped near a deserted island in the middle of the Maribbean Sea. The island already had tens of marposas resting on the beach with several females each tending to a large glowing purple egg. The group that the S.S. Destiny had been following scrambled on to the beach to join their pals and began preparing nests themselves. The ponies anchored their ship a good distance away from the island in order to avoid scaring the magnificent creatures. After a while, some of the mother marposas left the beach and returned to the sea.
“Where are they going?” asked Punch, watching them from a spyglass.
“They’re probably just going to get something to eat and then come back,” replied Love Tap. “When it comes to children, they don’t behave like turtles if that’s what you were thinking.”
Scarlet grabbed the spyglass from her husband and held it up to her eye. What she saw caused her to let out a gasp that would have put Princess Pinkie Pie’s to shame.
“Oh, sweet Faust!” she cried, frantically pointing at the island. “Look!”
Cinnamon grabbed the spyglass and turned it towards where Scarlet was pointing. He took a peek and cried out in a way that stirred up happy yet tumultuous feelings and memories in his wife. He tossed the spyglass to her as he shouted, “Oh, my gosh! It’s shaking! One of the eggs is shaking!”
Love Tap squealed. Through the spyglass, she could see that one of the eggs was indeed shaking. Not only that, she could also see cracks forming all over it, and the cracks only got longer and wider the more the egg shook.
Suddenly, POP! A small snout broke through the egg. POP! POP! It was quickly followed by a tail and a flipper. CRACK! The rest of the egg broke away, revealing the heart-meltingly cute creature’s body.
“Awww,” Love Tap and Scarlet gushed.
Before their husbands could gush with them however, the newly hatched mariposa began to thrash about the beach, throwing clouds of sand around the nest and squealing in the most pitiable of distress. The four ponies watched, concern creeping into their previously ecstatic faces.
“What’s going on?” asked Punch.
“I don’t know,” replied Love Tap, “but I think it’s trying to find its mother.”
“Of course,” groaned Cinnamon, facehoofing. “Baby marposas get distressed whenever they’re separated from their mothers.”
To everyone’s relief, a series of gentle, affectionate clicks, squeaks, and whistles came from beneath the waves. The baby marposa immediately stopped thrashing and turned towards the sound. Its mother surfaced from the ocean and scrambled up the beach. When the mother finally reached the baby, the sweet little hatchling touched noses with her, and the two of them nuzzled one another lovingly.
“Aww,” the mares once again gushed.
“Aww,” their husbands gushed with them.
“This reminds me of how Featherweight used to cry every time we tried to put him down for a nap,” Punch sighed.
“And he wouldn’t stop until he was back in my arms,” Scarlet agreed, also sighing.
“Our first time out in decades, and all we can think about are the children,” Love Tap sighed as well.
“I’m sure they’re having fun with the grandkids. Besides, they’re all probably just counting the days until we get back so that they can hear about all the fun we had,” Cinnamon added.
“Oh, we are definitely telling them about this,” replied Punch, pulling a camera out of his pack and taking pictures of the marposas.
“Hey, what’s that?” Love Tap saw something move towards the island from the corner of her eye. She turned her head towards it and pointed.
The four of them quickly realized that the swiftly approaching figure was a ship but couldn’t quite make out the symbol on the flag. Cinnamon used the spyglass to take a closer look, and his jaw fell to the floor.
“No way,” he gasped, passing the spyglass to Love Tap.
Love Tap looked through the spyglass and saw a gold skull with a single red, jeweled eye on the flag.
“These guys again?!” she cried as she lowered the spyglass.
“I know, right?” Cinnamon replied. “I thought they were lost at sea years ago.”
“You know that ship?” Scarlet asked.
“No, but we know the ponies who own it.”
“Those are the rapscallions who kidnapped our son and tried to kill our daughter-in-law,” Love Tap clarified disdainfully.
“What the hay are they doing here?” Punch wondered.
“Nothing good.”
Meanwhile, a group of mother marposas had led their hatchlings off the beach into the ocean for their first swim, oblivious to the danger that was upon them. The enemy ship sped towards the group, and the ponies on board prepared to lower a large net into the water.
Through the spyglass, Punch saw the net dangling off the side of the ship and cried, “Sweet Faust! They’re trying to poach the marposas, and I don’t mean the cooking kind, which admittedly is just as bad.”
“Not if we have anything to say about it,” barked Scarlet, getting behind the wheel. “Cinnamon, Love, tell the crew to raise the anchor and unfurl the sails. Honey, put your breaks on.”
“Way ahead of you,” Punch replied, as he grabbed the railing.
Love Tap and Cinnamon Swirl rushed below deck, frantically trying to help the crew hoist the anchor while the some of the crew members worked on the sails. Scarlet sharply turned the S.S. Destiny towards the poachers while Punch searched through his pack for a set of throwing knives, carefully maintaining his balance through the mad dash.
The other ship drew closer to the marposas, and a certain earth pony stallion with a five o’clock shadow smirked sinisterly as the net lowered into the water. Before anypony could say, “Look out! Caballeron’s stealing your baby!”, Caballeron and his cronies scooped a baby marposa out of the water and turned tail. Its mother squealed in terror, chasing the boat and struggling to catch up to it. Fortunately, the S.S. Destiny was in pursuit and catching up quickly.
“Get us next to them,” Punch cried, finally pulling his throwing knives out of the pack.
Scarlet maneuvered the ship so that Punch was facing the trapped marposa. With a few gusts from her wings, she managed to get the S.S. Destiny in pace with Caballeron’s ship.
“Hey, Doctor. Come take a look at this,” one of the henchponies called out, noticing the other ship.
Caballeron looked to where the stallion was pointing, and his eyes widened in recognition. He didn’t recognize the ship, but he did recognize the symbol on the flag as the Marendelle royal coat of arms. He definitely recognized the two royals that were on board. Caballeron growled in frustration. Of all the times for his past to catch up with him, it had to be in the middle of his first poaching job.
One by one, Punch took careful aim and threw three knives at Caballeron’s ship, aiming for the ropes on the net. However, he couldn’t get a clear shot, and the knives hit the hull of the ship with a thwack.
“If we could just get a bit closer, I might be able to slice those ropes,” Punch called.
Scarlet moved the Destiny closer to the other ship. Punch once again took aim, and the knife flew through the air and cut through the net with a swish. SWISH! SWISH! Two more knives sliced through more ropes, and the baby marposa dove into the water, swimming away as fast as it could.
“Yes!” cheered Love Tap, watching the marposa return to its mother in a happy rush.
“And my parents thought that the knife-throwing apprenticeship at the circus was going to be a total waste of time,” Punch quipped, twirling a knife spectacularly.
“No!” Caballeron cried as his catch got away. He looked up at the other ship, his eyes burning with the wrath of a thousand volcanic eruptions. The sight of his enemies rejoicing at his loss made his veins bulge with scalding blood. Then, the whole world turned red when Punch looked him in the eye and taunted him with a long, lingering raspberry.
In a voice that sounded way too calm for an angry stallion, Caballeron ordered his stallions, “Load the harpoon guns.”
Meanwhile, on board the Destiny, everypony had stopped celebrating and was getting ready to turn back towards the marposas’ island when suddenly, KA-THUD! Something struck the side of the boat and held fast. Then, mystery object began pulling the ship away from its intended route.
“What’s happening?” Scarlet shouted as she struggled to steer the boat back on course.
KA-THUD! KA-THUD! Two more projectiles struck and latched on to the ship, and the pull became stronger. Punch and Cinnamon peered over the edge of the ship and saw three huge chain-linked harpoons lodged in the hull. Not only were the chains pulling the S.S. Destiny towards Caballeron’s ship, but Caballeron and several of his henchponies were making their way towards the Destiny across the chains, armed to the teeth with all manner of bladed weaponry.
“Punch, get yourself and my wife to safety,” Cinnamon ordered, unsheathing his sword. “This could get ugly.”
Punch and Love Tap quickly headed below deck. Under normal circumstances, this would have been impossible for Punch to do, but thankfully, the mares had had enough foresight and diplomacy to acquire and bring along some wheelchair ramps at the last minute.
“Come on. We’ve got to find where those harpoons are lodged and get ourselves unstuck.” Love Tap rushed through the hall, checking every compartment on the ship for the source of each breach. Punch followed suit, a hard task to do when confined to a wheelchair on board a moving ship in the middle of a high seas altercation. Above them, the repeated clashing of metal on metal further fueled their desperation.
“Found one,” Punch cried. His eyes widened as he studied the massive harpoon. It was even bigger now that he was right in front of it. Love Tap rushed over to where he was and gaped at the weapon as well.
“So,” Punch began awkwardly, “how exactly are we supposed to dislodge these?”
“I have an idea,” Love Tap answered, “but I’m afraid your wife might kill me for it.”
“Well, look at it this way. Who would you rather get killed by, Scarlet or the thugs that are trying to steal our ship?”
“Good point.” Love Tap rushed out of the room and came back carrying a pickaxe. “There’s another pickaxe lying around here somewhere. We can use them to chip away the wood.”
“Then, the harpoons will end up yanking out the broken wood instead of the whole ship. That’s brilliant.”
Love Tap got to work on the harpoon while Punch rushed out, quickly finding the second pickaxe. He found the second harpoon and likewise, began chipping away the wood. As they both predicted, the weakened wood caused the harpoons to dislodge from the hull, leaving a gaping hole on the side of the ship. Love Tap finished first and was about to go look for the third harpoon when…
“Where do you think you’re going?” Two of Caballeron’s goons approached Love Tap from her left while another one blocked her off from her right. All three were brandishing swords. Love Tap held up her pickaxe in defense, clutching it tightly by the handle.
“Back off, or I’ll use this,” she warned. Her face and her voice betrayed no fear, but the shaking of her hooves did.
The henchponies laughed.
“You don’t even know how to fight with that,” one thug pointed out.
“I know it’s heavy.” With a war cry, Love Tap swung the pickaxe at one of the goons before he disarmed her rather unceremoniously. “Darn it!”
“Your highness, I have successfully dislodged the other harpoon,” Punch announced triumphantly, emerging from one of the rooms. However, his moment of glory was interrupted by three more thugs dropping down from the roof and surrounding him.
“Umm, you gentlecolts wouldn’t hurt a mare and a guy in a wheelchair, would you?” Punch attempted to negotiate. His attempt was met by the sound of unsheathing swords and the chill of several sharp blades mere centimeters away from his vital organs.
“That’s cold,” Punch deadpanned.
The goons herded Punch and Love Tap back up to the deck where Cinnamon, Scarlet, and the other members of the crew were also held up by henchponies. In the middle of this scene, stood Caballeron, grinning sinisterly.
“Your majesties,” Caballeron greeted Cinnamon and Love Tap, bowing low mockingly. “What a pleasure it is to see you once again!”
“Cut the pleasantries, Caballeron,” snapped Cinnamon Swirl. “I don’t know what you want with us, but if you don’t let us go, there will be consequences.”
“Major international consequences,” Love Tap added testily. “Need I remind you that we have connections with Canterlot now? Furthermore, we also have connections with Strapgart and Coltugal. So, unless you want four kingdoms worth of punishment on that sorry flank of yours, you’d better release us.”
“Yes, yes, I have considered that,” answered Caballeron, waving his hoof flippantly, “but you see, your majesties, I’m afraid you and your friends owe me a bit of income. I was going to be handsomely rewarded for delivering the marposa to a collector not far from here, but thanks to the four of you, that will no longer be possible.”
“If you think our son is going to give into your demands, you’re crazy!”
“Am I? Because I’m sure King Button Mash will indeed give me exactly what I want unless,” Caballeron paused menacingly before continuing, “he has no intention of ever seeing his parents alive again.”
Love Tap and Cinnamon’s pupils shrank as they shared a look, realizing the sheer enormity of the danger that they were in.
“Shackle them and throw them in the brig!” Caballeron ordered.
The henchponies obeyed, quickly chaining their prisoners’ front and back hooves together.
“Are you kidding me?!” Punch shouted, looking incredulously at his recently shackled back hooves. “I’m in a wheelchair!”
In the time that it took Caballeron and his goons to capture everypony on the S.S. Destiny, he had pulled the ship close enough to his own that he was able to bridge the two vessels using a gangplank. The henchponies herded their prisoners to Caballeron’s ship and as ordered, locked them in the brig.
From their cell in the brig, Love Tap, Cinnamon Swirl, Punch, and Scarlet could hear Caballeron shout, “Prepare to demolish the ship!”
“WHAT?!” Scarlet screamed, her face going frighteningly pale before suddenly turning the same color as her mane. She rushed to the door and furiously banged on it with her chained hooves. “Don’t you dare blow up my ship! You slimy—WOAH!”
She was about to yell out something unsavory when the sudden pitching of the boat cut her off, causing her and her companions to fall over.
“We’re getting really rusty,” Cinnamon pointed. “Back in the day, we used to be able to get out of scrapes like this before the bad guys even got a chance to try to destroy the ship.”
“Ugh!” Scarlet grunted like an agitated bull. “I’m so mad that I could just beat up the first idiot that walks in through that door.”
At that moment, a dark tan Earth pony stallion with a black and gray mane wearing a green shirt and a pith helmet burst into the room announcing, “Congratulations! You are being rescued.”
Unfortunately, Scarlet made good on her promise before anypony registered what he had said.
“Scarlet, stop!” Love Tap cried, getting between her friend and their supposed rescuer. “Did you just say that we are being rescued?”
“Yes,” the stallion managed to squeak out, clutching his nose with one hoof and his stomach with the other. “Please do not resist. Ow! Name’s Quibble Pants by the way.”
Once Quibble finished rubbing the soreness away from his bruised body parts, he took out a lockpick from his shirt pocket and unshackled the prisoners. Then, he helped Cinnamon get Punch back on his wheelchair.
“Umm, sorry about that,” Scarlet sheepishly giggled. “I thought you were working for Caballeron.”
“Eh,” Quibble shrugged. “Don’ worry about him. My wife’s taking care of him.” He paused. “Although, she probably could use some help right about now.”
“We better go help her then,” replied Cinnamon. “Do you know where Caballeron keeps the weapons?”
“Eh, his goons left some lying around the hallway. I mean, come on. How stupid can these ponies get?”
“Well, you and Scarlet go take care of the roughhousing. The three of us will rescue the rest of the crew and take care of the last harpoon that’s still lodged to the ship,” Love Tap took charge.
The group ran out of the cell, splitting up to carry out their respective tasks. Cinnamon and Scarlet each grabbed a sword from the weapons carelessly scattered in the halls and ran up to the deck. When they arrived, they found a sand-colored pegasus mare single-hoofedly beating the tar out of Caballeron and his thugs. She was also clearly tiring, so the two friends jumped in to help her immediately.
Meanwhile, Love Tap, Punch, and Quibble released the other crew members from their cells. Some of them went above deck to help with the ongoing fight while others went with Love Tap’s group to look for the harpoon guns.
“There they are,” one of the crew members called pointing to a certain room. Inside, three harpoon guns sat in a row with each barrel pointing out of a porthole. One harpoon gun had a chain coming out of the barrel while the other two were mounted with harpoons attached to chunks of wood.
“Hey, look the henchies conveniently left a pair bolt cutters and a couple of sledgehammers lying around,” Punch noticed, picking up the bolt cutters.
“Seriously?” Quibble began, watching the scene incredulously. “You know it really amazes me how Caballeron’s minions somehow reach a brand new level of stupidity every time Dare and I show up to thwart them. I mean, who leaves a pair of bolt cutters and a few sledgehammers in the same room as the things your enemies can use them on?!”
“Hey, if Caballeron’s goons were smart, they probably wouldn’t be working for him,” Punch quipped.
“Alright, everypony, let’s get the job done,” Love Tap ordered. “Punch cut the chain that’s still attached to the Destiny. Everypony else smash the guns with the sledgehammers and make sure Caballeron won’t be able to use them again.”
Everypony did as Love Tap commanded until all that was left of the harpoon guns were three piles of dented and misshapen metal. After they thoroughly disabled the guns, the group hurried to get back onboard their ship. When they arrived at the deck however, they found themselves facing an obvious yet previously unanticipated problem.
“So…,” Punch began before rapidly continuing, “How exactly are we supposed to get back on the S.S. Destiny past this incredibly action-packed fight scene involving our spouses, our crew, and the bad guys?”
“I’m not sure,” Love Tap looked around, trying to formulate a good plan, “but if we somehow distract and temporarily incapacitate Caballeron and his minions, we should be able to get back onboard our ship.”
“Well, we’ve already established the Caballeron’s goons are all a bunch of idiots,” Quibble grumbled. “If we had a distraction weird and amusing enough, they’ll be occupied long enough for all of us to sneak back on the ship.”
“And for good measure, we can drop those down on top of Caballeron and his goons to slow them down,” Love Tap pointed up at the sails.
“Good thinking, but where are we going to find a distraction entertaining enough to hold the mooks’ attention?”
“Way ahead of you,” Punch answered, pulling materials out of his pack. Before anypony could even blink, he had put on a jester’s hat on his head and a pair of Grouchy Marks glasses on his face. Then, he pulled out three brightly colored rubber balls of varying weights and sizes and placed them on his lap.
Love Tap and Quibble Pants just stared at him, blinking disbelievingly. Whatever distraction Punch was planning on pulling off was either going to be mind-bogglingly brilliant or terrifyingly stupid. However, before either of them could formulate a proper response, Punch had already started wheeling himself into the fray.
Despite his utterly ridiculous accessories and cheerful demeanor, Punch was actually pretty doubtful that his plan was going to work. His second most invaluable skill during his time as a court jester was his juggling, and the last time that he juggled, he had four working hooves. This time, he was working with half that many.
“I really hope I can do it,” he sang as he went forward, shoving his fear as far down his throat as he possibly could. “'Cause they’re all depending on me/I know that I must leave my comfort zone/All on my own/And brave the dangers on the ocean/Saving them before they’re beaten/I mean, how hard can that be?”
Hesitantly, Punch began to juggle the balls, slowly at first before going faster as he got more comfortable. The differing weights and sizes made the task challenging but not anything he couldn’t handle.
“Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue/And there's a butterfly/Well, isn’t that a super fantastic sign/It’s gonna be a fantastic day,” Punch continued to sing as he juggled, attracting the attention of a few henchponies. With both care and confidence, he started juggling with only one hoof while rummaging through his pack for more juggleables with the other. He pulled out a toy butterfly and a one-way sign and added them to the balls. “Such marvelousness it’s gonna bring/Got a pocket full of songs that I’m gonna sing/And I’m ready to take on anything”
Punch began to sing louder and perform more complicated tricks. Soon, he had the attention of everypony on deck except for Caballeron and Daring Do who had failed to notice Punch’s antics in the midst of their single-minded focus on besting their opponent. Although utterly dumbfounded at the absurdity that he was witnessing, Quibble Pants nevertheless took the opportunity to climb up to the sails and begin setting up his trap. Love Tap sent two ponies to help him and silently signaled for Cinnamon and the rest of the crew to sneak back on to the Destiny.
“Hey!/I’m not giving up today,” Punch continued as Love Tap, Cinnamon, and most of the crew carefully snuck away. “There's nothing getting in my way/And if you knock knock me over/I will get back up again”
Love Tap and Cinnamon motioned for Scarlet to follow them, but she firmly shook her head before giving a glance at Punch’s direction. That single glance told the royals all that they needed to know. Scarlet was not getting off the ship without her husband.
“Oh!/If something goes a little wrong/Well you can go ahead and bring it on” Punch’s hoof fumbled as he threw the smallest ball back into the air. He could tell by the way it was falling that he had thrown it wrong and that he wasn’t going to be able to catch it. Thinking fast, he caught the ball on his nose and balanced it there at he continued to juggle the other items. “'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again/Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh, get back up again”
Punch covertly glanced upwards and saw that Quibble and his two helpers had finally reached the sails, but he knew that his job was far from done. Quibble still needed time to readjust the sails so that they would drop down on Caballeron’s minions. Punch needed to keep buying him that time or else, they would all end up recaptured.
“I’m marching along I've got confidence/I'm cooler than a pack of peppermints” Punch pulled a toy soldier and a bag of mints from his backpack while he juggled everything else with one hoof, still balancing the small rubber ball on his nose. “And I haven't been this excited since/I CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN!”
As Punch added the new items to the other juggleables, he fumbled the largest ball, forcing himself to catch and balance it on top of his head. The sheer stress of his diversion was beginning to pile up on him, causing him to forget the next few lines of his song.
“What if it's all a big mistake?/What if it's more than I can take?” Punch groaned as his jester’s hat became limp with sweat. “No! I can't think that way 'cause I know/That I’m really, really, really gonna BE! O!-KAY!”
Punch’s indomitable outburst finally caught Caballeron and Daring’s attention. The two enemies stopped fighting each other and looked in Punch’s direction. Caballeron recognized him as one of the prisoners that he had locked up earlier and scowled angrily while Daring just raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Hey!/I’m not giving up today/There's nothing getting in my way,” Punch continued, oblivious to the loud, angry stomps of Caballeron’s approach. “And if you knock knock me over/I will—”
“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!” Caballeron bellowed, causing Punch to drop everything that he was juggling. Some of the dropped items struck Caballeron on the face as they fell.
Punch chuckled nervously as he pointed at his face and said, “You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?”
Caballeron responded by ripping said glasses from Punch's face and slapping him with them.
“Don’t make me ask again,” Caballeron growled, inching his face closer to Punch’s. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”
“You mean, you haven’t figured it out yet?” Punch gave an almost imperceptible glance towards the sails as Caballeron’s scowl deepened. “I’m distracting you, smart flank!”
“WAIT!” a voice from above shouted, followed by rapidly approaching screaming.
Caballeron’s eyes widened in realization as he looked up just in time to see Quibble Pants swinging towards him while dangling from a recently loosened beam. Fortunately for Punch, Scarlet wheeled him out of Quibble’s way as soon as she heard Quibble scream. Caballeron, on the other hoof, wasn’t so fortunate. Quibble Pants slammed into him, sending him crashing into his henchponies.
Quibble Pants let go of the beam and landed painfully on the deck. His descent was followed by that of a large sail which draped itself over Caballeron and his goons.
“Quib,” Daring Do cried, running over to her husband, “are you okay?”
“Is there ever going to be an adventure where I don’t get myself hurt?!” Quibble replied melodramatically.
“Yep, he’s fine,” Scarlet snarked. “Come on. We’ve got to get back on the Destiny.”
Scarlet pushed Punch towards their ship so hard that he had to grip his armrests to keep from falling out of the wheelchair. Meanwhile, Daring had helped Quibble up from the floor, and the two of them quickly followed after Punch and Scarlet. Quibble’s two helpers swung down on some rope, touched down on the deck, and hurried towards the S.S. Destiny as well.
“Cinnamon!” Scarlet called, crossing the gangplank. “Start unfurling the sails and hoisting the anchor.”
Scarlet, Punch, and the others made it on board the Destiny, skidding to a halt. Scarlet quickly positioned herself behind the wheel while Punch yanked his breaks into position. Scarlet frantically steered their ship away from Caballeron’s, filling their sails with the wind from her wings. The acceleration of their escape was so drastic that everpony on board, except Scarlet, lost their balance and fell over. Even Punch slid out of his wheelchair and hit the floor.
“Okay, when we reach civilization, I am definitely getting seatbelts installed on this thing,” Punch griped in annoyance as Cinnamon helped him back on his wheelchair.
“While we’re at it, we’re going to need to fix those holes you and Love Tap inflicted on my ship,” Scarlet griped back.
“Thanks for helping us by the way,” Love Tap addressed Daring and Quibble.
“Your welcome,” replied Daring. “So, I’m guessing you’re Love Tap.”
Love nodded.
“That’s weird. You have the same name as the former queen of Marendelle, and you look like you’d be about the same age, too,” blathered Quibble before realizing that he had just brought up the forbidden conversation topic. “Eh, no offense.”
“None taken.”
“And she is the former queen of Marendelle,” Scarlet butted in.
Hearing Scarlet’s statement, Daring Do’s ears stood at attention as her eyes scanned her surroundings and her new companions.
“But that would mean,” Daring began with a gasp before trailing off. Then, she let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched squeal that would have rivaled Princess Rarity’s.
“Quib!” she cried. “Do you have any idea where we are?!”
“A boat in the middle of the ocean?” her husband replied hesitantly.
“A boat in the—? No! This isn’t just any boat. This is the S.S Destiny, THE S.S. Destiny!” Daring glomped the railing and began rubbing it with a weird mixture of awe and affection.
“Hey! Quit rubbing the wood!” Scarlet shouted. “I just had it lacquered!”
“I know what the ship’s name is. The red-haired mare said it while we were escaping,” Quibble deadpanned. “I also read the plaque conveniently nailed to the ship.”
“This ship belonged to Captain Scarlet Plume and Lord Cinnamon Swirl the Adventurer, and they’re standing right there,” Daring Do fangirled, pointing excitedly at Scarlet and Cinnamon.
“Well, it seems like our reputation still precedes us even after all these years,” Cinnamon smugly beamed.
“Um, I’m sorry, but who?” Quibble raised an eyebrow quizzically.
Daring Do let out a gasp so dramatic that Princess Pinkie Pie started vibrating all the way in the Everfree Kingdom. “They were the two ponies who first inspired me to become an adventurer. Any adventurer worth their salt knows who Captain Plume and Lord Cinnamon are? How do you not know?!”
Quibble paused, an utterly dumbfounded look plastered all over his face. “Because I’m not an adventurer. I’m a puzzle geek who just so happened to end up getting married to one thanks to a series of unforeseeable circumstances.”
“Well, puzzle geek, allow me to educate you on who our new friends are,” his wife sassed in reply. “Captain Plume and Lord Cinnamon were the first voyagers commissioned by Prince West Wind the Navigator of Coltugal. They were asked to bring back something worthy of putting Coltugal on the map, whether it be treasure, resources, political alliances, or new knowledge, and out of all the voyagers commissioned by the prince, they were the most successful and the most famous. After they had filled several commissions for him, Prince West Wind gave them the S.S. Destiny as gift along with permission to go on whatever adventures they pleased. Eventually, the two of them retired in Marendelle to start families of their own, and Lord Cinnamon Swirl married into the royal family and became King Cinnamon Swirl.”
“Then, I retired from doing that,” Cinnamon added, grinning cheekily.
“Wait a minute,” Daring hesitated, her eyes and mouth widening as realization set it. Then, she let out a squeal so loud that everypony within 500 yards had to flatten their ears against their head. “I just rescued my biggest heroes from my second worst nemesis. THIS IS THE SECOND BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”
With a shout, Daring Do launched herself in the air and began doing aerial backflips in celebration. Her husband looked from her to their new friends with a hilariously confused look on his face.
“This is a whole new experience for me. Usually, she’s the one getting fangirled over.”
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SO CUTE AND FUNNY LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK!!!!!
[KIND GENTLE SMILE]
A pleasant spin-off worthy to be part of the AU's canon proper.
Fangirling Daring Do wasn't funny... she was hillarious!
And this all comparision to princesses
And was...
A Spy Kids refference?
Question, how did Punch end up in a wheelchair?