My sister left the fridge open again, so I now have to go down to the store to buy new milk and shit. I get there just fine and start filling my shopping basket when a guy with a gun enters and starts demanding money...
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And now for sunbut to rain on his parade.
coulda made a couple more chapters in that 60 years, and instead of fighting and bloodshed an action, you coulda used it to add suspense, like a disease that spread suddenly and he got infeacted, and he had to cure it before he died
Or a murderer in his city that was very, very hard to catch
-
a quick battle, just like a normal one.
I LOVE IT
thus is the curse of immortality, hopefully, since they were good guys, and beings of evil nature, they were still sent to heaven, and before you ask, 'why would they get sent to heaven', think about this, it's human nature to go to war, yet some go past that nature and become good people, the demons didn't ask to be that way, but they didn't let the restrain them. they pretty much deserve to go to a better place than that hell hole, and as for the others, some say they go to - something - to learn of goodness, or are reincarnated back into hell, I dunno, the story is mostly about demons, I dunno what happens when they die of old age
This chapter seems a bit rushed to me. I mean Adderine suddenly is dead and we never got to see her react to her sister courting him! I mean, she was relatively new and just died! I also mourning the cooks and the harpy secretary. It was a really surprising time skip, since this whole time the time skips weren't as large. At the beginning of the chapter I thought that the fight with the overlord would still need some time. So I personally was not a fan of it since I thought Adderine had more potential than simply being some sacrificial lamb for the main character to want to kick the overlords ass.
while i do agree with some other the time skip was too long i also like the building of the world and effort that goes in the making a new way of life (i just like that some of the funnest game i play are colony builders) still good chapter and i cant wait to see how the mortal world acts
HOLY SHIT
7404085 maybe they get reincarnated into ponies or other creatures? then if they're well behaved in that life they go to paradise?
So after 60 years, 9 months, 4 weeks, 17 hours, 2 minutes later, he finally completes the deal (yes i did count from all 10 chapters up to this point.), i bet Val'ketoph is either pissed or just surprised that he did it.
8247790
He no longer exists so why should he care?
Criticizing time!
I really don't like the large time jumps you throw in. They feel like a lazy man's way out and ruin the chance to add a little more detail to the story. I wouldn't mind a series of short skips where you throw in important events; the wedding, binding desire, ect. That would lessen the blow and ease into the sped up timeline. /rant
Anyway dig the idea of the story though! A demon lord whof decides that he wants to unite tartarus and proceeds to do so under the flag of chaotic good. Let's see what's in store next. (Probably more time skips.
8389111
Well, you do see what happened to Adderine later. Also I plan to have Damien explain (Flashback) his wedding with Desire and Slitherana.
pls....im begging you too add this
warcraft
I found this chapter very very awesome! A little hasty timeline wise, but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. Xp
Damn that is loooong time skip
8389111
no offense to the author, but its because hes so caught up in his OCs and doesnt really have a sense of pacing. digging the story still, but thats why
Dayum that time jump tho
A la verga wey.... me hicistes un *time skip salvaja aparece* literalmente, pense que serian 5 o 6 años eso de "a lo largo de los años" pero... sa la madre.... wueno (bueno), hay que ver que va a pasar ahora
que es esto? etapa de heroes de un videojuego en modo campaña? realmente me recuerda aun juego asi, donde al principio eres debil (aunque no realmente ya que empezo con un "pack de inicio" de paga xd) y vas avanzando lentamente hasta el final donde derrotas al ser mas fuerte y mas dificil y "ganas" aunque aca no ganas sino que te desbloquea otro mapa, "la tierra" o el mundo de los ponis :v quiero ver como interactuaran con los demonios
The time skip is actually logical. No offence, but those years that was skipped sound not really fun. Sure, deaths of old age and Slitherina's sister is important, but except those - they didn't sound entertaining.
As you can tell, sixty years is a long time skip, could've been worse tho
Time to raise some hell in the mortal realm *laughs devilishly* ... in a good way.