Imbalanced: New Age

by Nameless Narrator

Borrowed Time is up.

[Blazing's Entry]

Today was exactly what I needed.

I mean, it was nothing special as far as events go, but just some silly walking and watching ponies work while accompanied by Guiding along with One and Two showed me the peace I so desperately wanted all along. This is how things can eventually be once all the threats are finally dealt with.

Well, so much for dreaming.

However, I'm beginning to believe I've been thinking about life the wrong way all this time. I mean, it wouldn't be anything new, to be honest, but I guess that's what becoming a little bit wiser means. Maybe stability and peace are impossible, but all that means is that moments like these are what to live for, the little sparks of joy in the cold darkness of everything miserable that is happening to me over and over.

Maybe I just wanted too much all along. Maybe I still want too much. Maybe desiring Cromach, Ch- Joy, Guiding, her family, and Heavy all at once is foolish.

No. There is nothing wrong with wanting that. That's why I've been tormenting myself, because I didn't understand. Wanting is just fine, wanting is a drive... something I so desperately lack. It gives me something to strive for. What I need to do is not to despise myself whenever I fail.

I just need to give it my all. That way I'll be able to sleep in peace knowing I did everything I could. That's the curse, that's what I've always told myself - if only I was better, if only I did more, if only I was worthy of her...

I must give it everything I can. If only because it's the best I can do, the best anypony can do. In the end, I will be the one to judge myself and, considering my past track record, I will be a merciless. If I'm at peace with myself, I have nothing to be afraid of, because if I fail after all that then what I want is impossible.

And I know my resolve will break eventually. I know myself. For now, though, with Guiding sleeping on the same mattress in the town hall with a clump of my mane clutched in her mouth and forelegs nearly choking me, I'm at peace. I still feel somewhat... hollow and numb, but at least I can give back a little of the love that led Guiding into this situation. Heavy is already snoring on the mattress by the opposite wall, so I guess I should turn in as well and stop being so contemplative. On the other hoof, sorting my thoughts out like this is kinda my thing, since I rarely have time to do so when stuff happens.

Tomorrow, we'll say our goodbyes. We'll be off either to enter a war again or to a week of travel through Corrupted territories and then a war. If we manage to secure Cassius' and Nicolai's cooperation, then we'll be trying to capture a Corrupted with possible divine abilities. That's absolute insanity...

...but I guess that's what true love is.

Cro, here I come.

Kinky.

[End Entry]

---

"Leev?" Guiding gives me a disappointed look, but this time I don't give in. While the night was just about perfect, Cassius' offer has marked a new course for me, one much clearer than my overall idea of somehow getting back to the Empire and then Drachenberg.

"I have to. I don't want to leave you alone, but you are in good hooves, and I must give saving Cromach a shot."

"Com... too?"

She must be recovering at marvellous rate so that she now remembered Cromach just by hearing the name, but I don't want to put her in needless danger.

You're afraid she'd be a burden, that she wouldn't keep her cool in a crisis, that she'll act like an animal.

I hate my reflexive thoughts. I wish I could be delusional and tell myself I'm doing it for noble reasons, but deep down I know what I really think. Yes, I definitely don't want to put her in danger, but I am more worried about Guiding accidentally ruining things. Of course, telling her would hurt her far more, so I choose the "lesser truth". It's sixty-forty anyway. Well, there goes my honesty. Blazing Light? More like Blatant Lie.

I hate myself...

Do you really? You just care more about her than about your own peace of mind.

Maybe. Like I told Heavy, the old stream of boiling disdain for myself is gone. Maybe the part of me which knows that what I'm going to tell Guiding is far better from all angles than the truth is keeping the self-destructive spiral away.

That, or I'm just numb and too tired to feel anything other than a shadow of emotion. Sadly, this possibility feels far more likely when I think back to yesterday. Perfect... and yet nowhere close to making me feel like a real pony again. Oh well, no reason to dwell on it forever.

Live through an event, don't feel too much, don't get invested because everything is temporary and your enemies will find you eventually, move onto the next one.

Cold.

And yet, those bright sky-blue eyes make it less and less true.

One is more white and blue, and she still has her eyepatch. So... puppy eye more like.

I guess I'm getting a bit too poetic for my own good. But still...

You're happier than at any point since your resurrection. You finally feel something is going the right way. You're terrified you'll lose all that again and that's why you don't want to try too hard. Over and over and over and over, Blazing- myself- me. Even the self-hate is just an escape back to something familiar.

I get it, I get it, being happy is new and scary for me.

Conjuring up a small, comforting smile, I explain the situation:

"It will probably be super dangerous, Guiding. You are getting better, but it might still be too much for you. Besides, the villagers need your help as well. Heavy and I will do our best to come back to you as soon as possible. I know it's difficult with me, since... I tend to get into trouble, but I'll do everything I can to return to you, I promise."

"Awwwwww," she grumbles, but nuzzles my neck without any more puppy eye attempts.

That wasn't so bad. Why is everypony smarter and better adjusted than I am?

"You can have breakfast with me and Heavy before we leave. Crimson Heart is letting us have some of the fresh Ponyville imports."

"Mhm," Guiding nods.

Looking around uncertainly, I realize I did listen to Crimson Heart's offer last night, but I have no idea where he would be at this time of day or where we'll be eating. Alright, time to improvise as always - it'll either be downstairs in the town hall, somewhere outside if the weather allows it, or in the tent camp in the town square. We'll just have to-

Guiding opens the door, nodding her head meaningfully.

Fine, she can take charge for now.

"Lead the way," I yawn and follow her downstairs.

"Good morning, sir. Good morning, miss Guiding," the chipper receptionist waves at us as we enter the lobby, "Lord Heart and your Corrupted friend are waiting at the camp."

"Thanks," I give her a smile, which is about the only thing I can give, since I don't have any resources to speak of. Sadly, the teleportations, while convenient, do have their their drawbacks.

Walking side by side with Guiding like yesterday has its charm, although we don't talk at all, rather just watch the busy ponies carrying things, cooking, or exploring the town for usable materials. We quickly locate Crimson Heart chatting with Heavy, both sitting at a long, common table and eating a mushroom stew.

Nooooope.

Anypony got some rocks I can chew on instead?

"Morning, Blazing," one of Heavy's tentacles waves at me as he gulps down a spoonful, "Slept well?"

The amount of dirty jokes I would be spouting if I was returning with Cromach or literally anypony other than Guiding is nowhere to be found, and I only nod.

"I feel about as ready for the experiment as I will ever feel."

My stomach growls. Heavy looks at his bowl, and my skin crawls.

"Ohhh..." he snorts, looking at Crimson Heart who completely missed our little exchange, "Lord Heart, do you have anything to eat which perhaps... doesn't involve mushrooms?"

"Sure, there are some long-lasting crackers and what little vegetables we've managed to trade with Ponyville. Is there a problem?"

Heavy gleefully opens his mouth and pours the rest of his stew inside. With a smack and a lick of his lips, Heavy gives me a meaningful look.

"When you've got a bronze unicorn slowly turning green just from watching us eat, and I remind you this guy got eaten himself, resurrected, corrupted, and many more things, you know you need to change something."

"I... I... just don't like mushrooms," I mutter.

"Oh? Is there a story behind it?" Crimson Heart taps the pony sitting next to him and points towards a crate at the end of the long table. The pony nods and gets up to bring it.

"I don't know, actually," says Heavy thoughtfully.

"T- there is," I admit.

Nope nope nope nope nope.

"I'd like to-"

"NOT TELLING!"

To my surprise, the chuckling that follows is not Heavy's, but Guiding's. The dreamling queen takes a free seat next to Heavy, and a moment later a bowl ends up in front of her as well, brought by a waiting pony. When I take the other seat -shockingly, not occupied as well. Cough, cough, Corrupted advantages- next to Heavy, I am relieved when I recieve a piece of brown bread, small cube of butter, and few drops of... jam? Cool.

"I must admit, eating normal food isn't too filling for this form," comments Heavy while I devour my breakfast. I had no idea how hungry I was until I was faced with real food, "I recall you eating some black berries Bucket gave you, Blazing."

Come to think of it, I don't know how much Heavy really knows. While he was a spirit, he had some connection to my head and he could roam around, but that question made it clear that presuming he knows all I do about what happened is wrong.

"Do you have any corrupted berries around, Heart?"

The unicorn shakes his head.

"I think our courier might have one or two, and I recall the amazons using those for some potions, but we don't gather them. We have no reason to, and we don't have the technology needed to store them."

Heavy mumbles in disappointment.

"Alright, can I have another bowl then?"

"We're still on a rationing system, but the rebuilt cellars are promising in the amount of projected mushroom growth, so I think I can allow that. Let's say it's Blazing's portion."

"You can have all my portions. Forever. Please eat them fast so that they don't have the time to get to me."

"I simply must hear that story one day," Crimson Heart shakes his head.

Blushing, I lick the bread crumbs off of my hooves. Huh, I didn't even think of using telekinesis to eat. Oh well. I'll need all my magic or divinity to perform the teleportation anyway. Speaking of which...

"Heavy, are you ready to leave?"

He takes a deep breath and stretches, looking at his hooves.

"I think so. Before we go, don't you wan't to give Guiding one more hug for the road?"

"I think I've had all the hugs I can handle over the night."

Guiding stretches her forelegs towards me.

"D-aahd."

Fine, one more won't hurt.

The grinning toothy muzzle is one more proof that Guiding is getting smarter and better with each passing day.

"Fine, you got me, you little manipulator," I nuzzle Guiding's neck, accompanied by chuckles and even a d'aww or two from ponies randomly listening to our conversation, "How about one for uncle Heavy as well while I prepare."

I stand up and find a spot without any passing ponies. With my eyes closed, I hear:

"Come on, Guiding, right in front of all these ponies?"

"Ankle Hevee."

"My heart! I yield, I yield."

Unable to stop myself from snickering, I focus on the feeling of me sending myself inside my head as a spirit. For some reason, the "place" feels locked now, though. Final Sanctuary, however, is a different cup of tea. Warmth starts spreading through my body, vein after vein, and my whole being becomes a target of a faint pull.

Something feels wrong, though. Too different, as if I cut myself on glass of a broken window instead of opening it and going through.

"He's glowing," I hear Crimson Heart's voice, "Shouldn't you be going?"

"Right, right. I'm don't know how it's going to work, and I doubt he does too."

He's right. I thought we'd have time to say goodbyes, but I'm barely able to hold all the power inside me. Heavy needs to move his ass-

A tentacle wraps around my back.

"We'll be back, Guiding," I mumble.

Focusing on the obsidian temple as hard as I can, I let the power go.

***

SOMETHING IS COMPLETELY WRONG!

The teleportation is happening as it's supposed to, so why do I feel like I'm being dragged through an avalanche?

"Ooof!" I hit some sort of a hard membrane which gives in, and disappears. Not seeing anything isn't really helping the situation.

I'm falling, and this time I know it won't end up just as a bad feeling.

"Blazing!"

Finally able to open my eyes, I see rapidly approaching black floor and stretch my legs to stop myself from doing the rocky flop.

With whip-like cracking, flexible vines wrap around my barrel, and my fall stops.

Heavy's tentacles.

The Protector is already standing on the cracked floor and lowering me gently down.

"What the hay is going on?" his cyan mane flaps around as he turns his head in confusion.

Reality itself trembles and distorts.

"I don't kn-"

Heavy tackles me, his weight sending both of us sliding along the floor. A fraction of a second later I'm deafened by a boom followed by a shockwave of air. Damn it, if only I could get a moment to take a breath and look around.

It's crumbling, the roof is falling.

What? That's not possible. How can a pocket dimension just break all of a sudden? It lasted for two centuries even without Void!

Tied to Heavy's spirit maybe?

Damn it, I might be right. When I took Heavy once again completely tied to his physical body away, Final Sanctuary must have started shattering.

Pillar falling over to the left.

"Blazing!"

I jump to the side before Heavy can sweep me away again, narrowly avoiding the piece masonry keeling over.

Why are there skyscrapers outside?

No time for analysis. We need to leave right the hay now. How?

That way looks more stable.

My conscious mind doesn't dispute the fraction of an image I saw through the clouds of dust, and I run towards the corner of the temple where there are two sets of pillars holding the falling roof. I can't hear anything other than rumbling, and I hope Heavy's in tow.

I finally get few seconds to look.

There isn't much to see, the center of the temple roof is cracking, letting chunks of obsidian crash into the floor. Thankfully, Heavy kicks away a smaller falling piece mid-air, and lands near me, muzzle open and gasping for breath while baring his new sharp teeth.

Teleportation, that's why we're here in the first place.

"Why are there roads and buildings outside?!" he calls out. I ignore him, "What happened to the desert?"

While I'm focusing on the soul map room, the shattering temple wobbles even more, and I feel reality tear. Memories of Harmony breaking into real world by ripping the sky open from centuries ago make themselves known, but that's just what they are - memories. This dimension is breaking, but there is no furious god grasping for me this time. I still have few precious moments left.

The air starts flickering with white dots. The map must still be working.

I need to use it.

Cassius!

I recall his presence, his overwhelming certainty and power, the mossy green coat, grey head feathers, scar on his face. The ease with which he commands his forces.

Something flashes inbetween the falling rocks in the center of the room. The floor has turned into a slowly growing vortex of black void and hovering pieces of tiles draining into its center. Up above, they hole in the roof is spreading as the dark whirlpool is sucking everything in. However, the glowing rectangle of white light is still present.

"HEAVY!" I point towards the familiar portal.

"ON IT!" is all I hear before choking on my own spit due to massive acceleration. My vision blurs as tentacles shove me onto Heavy's back.

Oh god!

Which one?

Heavy dodges another falling rock, and without hesitation jumps off of the edge of the floor into the vortex...

...and misses the only solid piece of ground above which the portal is hovering.

"Hold ooooooon-" he screams, and his back tentacles let me go.

I clench my forelegs around his neck.

Suddenly, our fall turns into a swing, and my quick look upwards shows his tentacles wrapped around the still floating flooring. We follow the nice spiral swing, and-

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmnnn!"

-slam into the white portal upside down.

This time the falling feeling only signifies the travel between dimensions, not an approaching physical splat.

On the other hoof, when I come to, there's a huge groaning Corrupted lying atop me.

It is clear that the time of safety Void bought for us has come to an end. No more sanctuary, no more spirit food, and no more free training for Heavy. We have nowhere to hide or run if things go completely south.

Heavy's groaning is suddenly accompanied by multiple sets of hoofsteps, clicking, and angry voices.

Wait, not HOOFsteps.

Shoving Heavy off of myself, I stand up and-

-look straight into the barrel of a thin, pyramid-like thing with orange core.

Griffon beam rifle.

Slowly turning my head, not to give the pon- griffon holding it any reason to pull the trigger, I realize I've been here before.

The long hall - cathedral throne room with massive stained glass windows on its sides. The holiest and most revered place in the Griffon Empire.

It was when I crashed Crowley's airship straight into it.

Up here, on a raised dias where possessed Crowley fought Vargaz, we're being surrounded by more and more armed griffons pouring in. Heavy freezes as he finally shakes his head and notices multiple barrels, swords and spears aimed at him. I eventually turn my head enough to face Cassius with one of the power armor griffons by his side. Somehow, his simple pistol aimed between my eyes is far more threatening than the minigun.

Perhaps I should have thought our teleportation through a bit better. In my defense, I didn't have much time. I kind of forgot that I now look different and I'm accompanied by a Corrupted. Appearing like that right next to the griffon Emperor is now proving not to be the best plan.

I'm gonna leave it as one of those "it looked like a good idea at the time" things.

"Uh, I got your letter..."

Comments

[Anonymous Critic]

It is clear that the time of safety Void bought for us has come to an end. No more sanctuary, no more spirit food, and no more free training for Heavy. We have nowhere to hide or run if things go completely south.

Well, there's one blow. I knew something would go wrong in this chapter, but I doubt the shit has hit the fan hard enough... So what's going to go wrong next?

[Anonymous Critic]

Perhaps I should have thought our teleportation through a bit better. In my defense, I didn't have much time. I kind of forgot that I now look different and I'm accompanied by a Corrupted. Appearing like that right next to the griffon Emperor is now proving not to be the best plan.

Better... better... but not the total downfall I was expecting after everything going so well not too long ago.