Imbalanced: New Age

by Nameless Narrator

Borrowed Time: Retry

[Blazing's Entry]

I took me a bigger part of a month to even think about getting up. Real world month, I mean. Here in Final Sanctuary it was some two weeks. I have never felt so drained, so... worthless, and I've done some terrible things I will never forget.

I just... I just saw no reason to even wake up, and here in the semi-spiritual pocket dimension I just slept and slept. Were it not for worried Heavy occasionally checking up on me and forcing me to eat something I would have always just rolled over onto my other side and closed my eyes again.

Call me a weakling, a crybaby, I couldn't care less. I'm not angry, I'm not even sad anymore, I'm just exhausted. The worst thing is that I can't call it all my fault. If it was all my fault it would be so simple, all I would need to do is change myself or work for it. Like this, however, I can't do anything. Chokey is really gone, Joy is broken, and that isn't all because of me, or even mostly because of me. She broke down because I wasn't able to do what no one would be able to do. She just couldn't handle reality none of us were strong enough to change. I DID fail her by giving more of my time to Cromach, but the rest... that's all on her. She's not perfect as I made her to be, with me working all the time to catch up to her. I can't remember who said it, but maybe she was the one who needed to grow up to be worthy of me.

I disgust myself for this train of thought so much. I just really wish it was all my fault, but I can't persuade myself to believe it anymore. I'm worried... no, terrified... completely and utterly paralyzed at the thought that if we meet again and she wants to kill me, I might try to defend myself.

I mean, what do normal ponies want from life? A bit of fun, fulfilling work or at least a hobby to keep them busy, and a loved one to spend the rest of their time with. That's their drive. What is mine? At home... it was the self-hate which eventually made me leave for Canterlot, then the death wish which drove me forward and allowed me to survive the horrors I've gone through. After that, it was the little bit of light and hope as things started turning around, only to be stomped to the ground by Harmony. Deep down, deep down I knew it was all temporary, that I wasn't playing to win, but to last as long as I can before I inevitably lost.

And that's all it is about in the end. It is... inevitable. They will find me, they will find the few I care about, and I will be powerless to stop them. All only because of me. Perhaps it is better for Joy to just rage for few years and then forget. After all, insanity is something you either go through, or die. I should know. As for Crom, I honestly believe he's happy where he is. I have no doubts that he's on top of the food chain of Drachenberg, with the only risk to him being Imperial forces attempting to reclaim the corrupted territories.

However, that's not what I want, and just like with Joy, I'm uncomfortable thinking long and hard about trying to get Cromach back from his current ecstatic debauchery. What I want is Cromach right by my side, so if there's still time, which I'm less and less sure about, I have to try. The problem is that doing so endangers my last goal, which is helping Guiding recover. The attempt to reach Cromach will be extremely dangerous, and if I fail there then Guiding might never see me again. It's not so bad now that Pine Hills is once again a settlement, but I'd still regret not seeing Guiding again as my daughter. I'd regret it very briefly, since the only thing stopping me from coming back would be my violent death, but I'd regret it anyway. The problem is that I have no clue where to start, since travelling all the way to Drachenberg alone or with just Heavy is still a dumb idea even by my standards.

And once again, I'm disgusted with myself because I am going to choose what I want instead of what Guiding wants. One last shot, and if it fails I'll settle in Pine Hills and, I don't know, become a woodcutter.

But that disgust is normal by now. I despise being selfish like this. I hate thinking like I do.

Well, not really... I'm just empty and tired, but I gotta try.

[End Entry]

---

I yawn and rub my eyes, for once feeling like standing up. Maybe Heavy can imagine something like blueberry pancakes today? I think he'll be happy I'm actually interested in getting up for once, although it is only to visit Pine Hills.

I could use the teleporter to go to Manehattan and listen to recent news, specifically from the Griffon Empire, but Pine Hills simply is more important.

Getting on my all fours from the unnaturally comfortable obsidian floor, I turn my head around to look for Heavy. Strangely enough, he isn't in the single square space of the Final Sanctuary.

A blur outside.

Squinting into the daylight behind the pillars and the unreal veil dimming the inside of the temple, I can see shifting shadows moving around. They aren't making any noise, though. Curiously walking forward, my eyes shoot open.

Heavy?

I bolt outside, and-

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

-am immediately met with a shockwave of sound which makes my vision blur.

Nothing is moving towards you. There's time to recover.

I shake my head, blink, and stumble as I shift to stop myself from keeling over.

Alright, I can see now, and yet I'm still having trouble believing.

A short distance away, there's a dragon made of shadows slamming his forelegs into the silver sand in repeated attempts to catch a small but agile cyan and grey blur which is Heavy Hoof. Dancing between the craters, dodging and weaving in strikes of his staff, the Corrupted earthpony Protector is avoiding blow after blow and shrugging off more furious, and more importantly loud, roars which make me dizzy for a fraction of a second each.

Explaining later, preventing Heavy from becoming the world's sexiest tube of meat paste now.

As Heavy jumps to the side in a shower of sand and keeps rolling to avoid the subsequent swipe, I focus and examine the depths of my power.

That anti-magic zone won't help here. The fire tentacle you used against Vertradict sounds like a great idea, though.

Narrowing my freshly woken up eyes from the glow of my horn, I feel my whole body heat up. A patch of sand in front of the dragon bursts in gold and pink flames, and a pony-thick tentacle shoots out like a spear, impaling the dragon's neck and coming out of the top of its skull.

Instantly, the creature turns into black dust and dissipates into nothing.

"Huh?" Heavy spits out a some sand after a second of surprised looking around, then he smiles when he notices me and asks casually, "Good morning, Blazing. Finally feeling a little better?"

I absolutely refuse that nonchalant tone of voice as if nothing has just happened.

"Mor- wha- Heavy- what- dragon?!" is my excellent retort.

"Ooooh, I probably should have told you the last time you woke up. You see, I've been trying to keep in shape."

I look at his absolutely godlike body.

"In shape... by fighting dragons. Speaking of which... DRAGONS! HERE!"

Heavy scratches his head nervously, clearly trying not to chuckle at my high-pitched voice of utter disbelief.

"Yeeeah, you know that I can summon food, right?"

"You decided to try some dragon steak and ordered it EXTRA RAW?!"

"You are shockingly right in how I actually got that idea. So... yeah, I ordered a dragon. I think this dimension understood after the third one I beat that I'm in it just for the practice."

"You're fighting dragons... just to get some physical exercise," I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea, "What happened to weights? You didn't want to eat them afterwards?"

"Eeeh, a bit of cardio never hurt anypony."

There is so much wrong and on so many levels...

"I- uh- why not a griffon or something?"

Heavy shrugs, dusting himself off and proceeding to walk back to the temple.

"The creatures I can summon here are fairly simplistic, and this body is INCREDIBLE."

"You don't need to tell me."

"Not that, my lovely perv. I mean it's so powerful. For your information, I DID summon a griffon first, but he could barely swing a sword properly, and for the life of me I wasn't able to conjure up a smart opponent, so I decided to make something big, strong, and feral. I wish I could make a real dragon with breath attacks and stuff, especially after what you told me happened with Ch- Joy, but this was the best I could do. On the other hoof, after few beatdowns I got a good measure of what I can do. What unnerves me is the lack of any mental effects. Wasn't corruption supposed to make you into some sort of a lust beast?"

At least that's what I have an answer to.

"That's because we're here. In the real world it will be worse, at least it was for me. You... I don't know anymore since you didn't get corrupted in the usual way. So, am I right in guessing that you didn't need my help at all?"

"I admit I got a bit lost between the furious attacks, but the dragon would have just disappeared if I got knocked unconscious. By the way, did you know you can't die here?"

"YOU TRIED?!"

At least the gorgeous bastard has the decency to blush.

"Eeeeh, my first practice didn't go too well. Half of me got chewed off, though it hurt far less than I thought. This advantages of this body are outstanding."

"That was more Final Sanctuary than corrupted body. Trust me, I've fallen from the ceiling enough to know," my eye twitches, "You know... that was exceedingly dumb, and those are my words carefully chosen not to hurt your feelings too much."

"Guess you're rubbing off of me," Heavy gives me a smug smile, and it takes me a second to tear my gaze away from his full lips, "Because-"

I sigh in defeat.

"I know, I know... that's something I would have done."

Heavy rubs his muzzle against my neck. He might not have noticed it yet, but he's a lot more affectionate than ever before. I mean, he's been a great friend for a long time, but since his corruption he feels a lot more grabby, rubby, touchy.

Not that I mind. He might have simply come to the conclusion that my thick skull needs a bit more than just words at this point.

I sigh.

"Do you want to keep going? I wouldn't have interrupted you if I knew what was going on."

"It's just a way to pass time. Anyway, since you're looking better today, are we doing anything?" he asks hopefully. I guess he's happy to see me up and at least walking, and doesn't want to seem pushy.

"I have something in mind. I've thought about it a lot, and I would like to visit Pine Hills to catch up on things."

"I might regret asking, but what about Cromach?" he gives me a curious looks as we walk up the steps leading back inside the temple itself.

I look into the distance and shake my head.

"I don't know. That's all. I don't even know where to start with that one."

Huh, am I seeing... buildings on the horizon? Tall, blocky shadows which can't be the usual circle of blurry mountains marking the borders of this place. I blink, but they are still there. Hmm, I must have just never looked around properly.

"I hate it when you look so down and defeated, Blazing. It's even worse when I know I can't help."

"You're helping more than I could ever ask for, Heavy," I pat his back, and two tentacles spawn from it and trace my hoof before I pull away, "You know what I could go for just now? Something sweet."

"Heh," he chuckles, "Sweet, eh? I know just the thing."

I softly swing to the side before I know what's going on, and feel Heavy's soft, full lips press against mine followed by a thin tongue spreading mine apart, and another, and another. He pushes harder as I close my eyes and give in to his ministrations.

Suddenly, it all stops. I curiously pry apart a single eyelid, only to see Heavy's face frozen in horror. He pushes me away and jumps backwards as I plop on my butt.

"I- I'm so sorry, Blazing. I don't- I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Umm, why?

Maybe he thinks a show of affection like this might ruin your friendship, or make it weird?

Likely, time to nip that idea in the bud then.

"Heavy-" I stand up and take a step towards him, which he answers by taking a step back. We won't get anywhere like this. Four fiery tendrils spawn from the floor, each wrapping around his leg and pulling him in the air. I barely notice Heavy's taint receding slightly under their touch, "Alright, Heavy, do I have to slap you? Take a deep breath, look at me, and read my lips. This time not in braille, though."

"Sorry, Blazing. It was just... I couldn't help myself. The only thing I could think of when you said something sweet-"

"I can imagine. Heavy, corruption will do this to you, but it won't make you do anything you really don't want. The risk lies in it slowly changing the things you really DO want. Most ponies eventually end up desiring one thing and one thing only, and will do anything to get it. But hey, you got lucky."

"How?"

"One, I don't mind what you did. Two, you got to experience your first loss of control and are still sane enough to tell the tale."

"Is this what you've been fighting against all the time?"

"Wanting to spread, devour, and turn the entire world into one huge orgy? Pretty much, yeah."

"Blazing, I'm terrified. I'm terrified I lose control and end up hurting you, or anypony else... but mostly you. How did you cope with that?"

"I guess... I just don't feel much of anything anymore. I've been through so many things that I'm burned out. I'll tell you what really scares me, Heavy. It's not the possibility that I might fail to save Cromach, which is the likely outcome, but the off chance that I might succeed and... and not feel anything anymore. I WANT so much when we're here, but when things happen I just react on instinct. Survive, fight, run, go towards the next miserable event. Just like with Joy, I barely felt what happened until I came back here and had time to think about it. If you're still afraid, Heavy... then you're okay."

He's staring at me, mouth slightly ajar. Then he finally takes a deep breath, sighs, and gives me a tired smile I'm not used to seeing from him. Looking down at my summoned tentacles, he wiggles his legs, but doesn't get much done.

"Can you let me go? This feels really weird. Numb, cold, and stinging at the same time."

I let the appendages lower Heavy back onto the floor where he shakes his legs and looks at the white burn marks they left behind quickly being overgrown with greyness of his new coat.

"I thought it would. The power I awakened in Joy's dimension seems to be tied to my anti-magic talent, and it looks like it purifies corruption to a certain degree. Before Nightshade attacked me, I had similar results with my old power."

"So... you can cure me?"

"Ohhh no no no. I can kill you. I can't restore the body of Heavy Hoof. I can't create anything, I can purify, I can destroy, and I think there's more to it, but I sure as hay can't do any good with my divinity. If I had far greater amount of power that I do, I could burn all your corruption away, and that would destroy you. Not a cure you'd want unless... you know."

"It was a longshot anyway," he chuckles to himself, "So... about us?"

"Look, Heavy, what I did to you on the inside of my head was far dirtier than a kiss. If you feel like that about me then I don't really mind-"

Heavy raises his foreleg.

"Let me stop you right there, Blazing. I don't, not anymore. I used to when we first met, and I did so for a long time, but not anymore. I have moments when I want to bend you over something and, you know, but first and foremost I love you in a way... I don't know how to say it, but I feel like a coltfriend would be a downgrade."

"Friendzoned right in the balls," I smirk, "I think I heard that one before once or twice in my life."

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm up for some fun later, but now I feel there are more important things to do. I already... umm... when you slept..."

A blushing Corrupted. That's new.

"What did you do to my poor unconscious self, perv?"

"I-"

"Next time have the decency to wake me up. Now, breakfast. Chop chop!" I clap my hooves together.

"One daisy sandwich coming right up."

"But I wanted something sweet..." I whine.

"Can't get all pudgy if you want this," he traces his foreleg down his neck and chest, "to cuddle you later."

Having somepony want me feel so good. It almost made me forget about my situation.

Almost.

Why do I have to always depress myself immediately after something good happens?

"Heavy?"

He looks away from his summoned table and some supplies.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to visit Pine Hills after breakfast to see how Guiding is doing. Then I'm going to back Drachenberg. It is stupid, but I'll give it one final shot. Cromach survived disintegration, his soul being infused bombarded with alicorn divinity, burning by Nightmare, and centuries of waiting for me. You now have a real body and can return to normal life. Despite that, are you coming with me?"

The laugh he gives me after turning back to his sandwiching is darker than I ever recall it being.

"You're the only pony I've got left, Blazing. Do you even need to ask?"

Comments

[An Alternate Universe]

Oh ho ho. This is interesting. I'm very excited for the next few chapters, Blazing's goin' on a mission so save _______, therefore, it shall be delicious*.

* - based on previous samples and experience.

[Nameless Narrator]

8179483 Boo, more desert, boo!

[An Alternate Universe]

8179518 Now I want cake... I blame you. Though I am partial to a nice heavy Cromach-Choky sandwhich that's been set blazing.

[Nameless Narrator]

8179543 I'm not turning the love triangle into love... rectangle, hexagon...seven-dimensional quantum polytetrahedron.

[An Alternate Universe]

8179598 And here I thought you were working towards a world-wide orgy the entire series. You know, this was all planned years in advance. Well, there goes that idea. Ah, well, I'll probably enjoy whatever the outcome is.

[Nameless Narrator]

8179603 Damn it, you got me!

Welp, one of the first endings I thought about was Blaze becoming a god in place of Harmony, so... let's not lose all hope in the big bang.

[An Alternate Universe]

8179616 Okay, that would be interesting. I kinda wanna see a depressed god now. Gimme a second, I'm gonna go write that idea down somewhere. In all seriousness, this chapter has made me very excited for what's coming next.

[Anonymous Critic]

Call me a weakling, a crybaby, I couldn't care less. I'm not angry, I'm not even sad anymore, I'm just exhausted. The worst thing is that I can't call it all my fault. If it was all my fault it would be so simple, all I would need to do is change myself or work for it. Like this, however, I can't do anything. Chokey is really gone, Joy is broken, and that isn't all because of me, or even mostly because of me. She broke down because I wasn't able to do what no one would be able to do. She just couldn't handle reality none of us were strong enough to change. I DID fail her by giving more of my time to Cromach, but the rest... that's all on her. She's not perfect as I made her to be, with me working all the time to catch up to her. I can't remember who said it, but maybe she was the one who needed to grow up to be worthy of me.

Something is wrong and it's not your fault?

[Anonymous Critic]

Heavy?

I bolt outside, and-

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Blackie!?

[Anonymous Critic]

8179598
Fifty shades of polygon...