• Published 27th Nov 2011
  • 7,628 Views, 259 Comments

Purple Skies - WinterTwister

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Blue Skies

Blue Skies is up
~ Team Joker

Comments ( 36 )

198441 It kinda changes POV, its mainly 3rd pov actually.

198524
Oh! Okay now I understand. Thanks for the info.

198600 I write mainly 3rd pov to show the scene, but I switch to 1st to show someones thoughts.

198815 Thank you lol, your the only person to say Captain Hook, which I thought was obvious because of the ticking noise making him go into rage mode.

well shoot im surprised that no one else guessed that:eeyup:

216080 :pinkiesmile:
So glad you liked it, hope you like the sequels as well, Winter Skies was a Christmas special, and Blue Skies is the final part that I just started.

251022 lol, no matter how aggressive that looks - I find it really funny

351422
she was scared, and she got knocked over so she couldn't focus

483229
Soarin' is Twilight's knight in shining armor,
The more reasons Twilight has to like Soarin' the better.

486653 You're the author. It's your call, but if u really want my opinion I think she can take care of herself from a couple of idiots given the magic capability she has.

Here's a more critical critique, take it as you may. The story IS quite overdramatized and I really wish there was more actual solid conflict that lasted from beginning to end...RD and Soarin could have gone somewhere...you could have played on their respective careers...friend opposition....add a villain...Soarin and Twilgiht didn't get along with each other and got into argument...SOMETHING because EVERY romantic relationship in a fictional setting has a MAJOR PROBLEM nomatter how smoothly it starts, if it's not internal, it's external.... (Look at Romeo and Juliet). Additionally, Twilight is doing things that seem slightly out of character. I know we haven't seen her in this situation, but in my mind she wouldn't be doing some of the stuff she does. My biggest facehoof was having Soarin injured in the end...it was good seeing twilight prove her love for him, but other than that...WHY WHY WHY...He had almost NO pyschological reaction to the injury, but he just basically LOST HIS CAREER AND HIS DREAM! Put your characters through some pain...ACTUAL PAIN that does not go away in a chapter or two like the RD thing. Pain and suffering that actually stays with them for the rest of their lives. I know it's hard. It's harsh, but the best authors kill good guys near the end (Redwall by Brian Jacques in several novels), force them to sacrifice themselves in vain (death of Mr. Crepesly in Darren Shan), torture their characters, wave a light in front of their faces and snatch it away. This creates motivation and suspense for readers and drives plot forward.

The plus side of things. The story is romantic. Very romantic and the pairing works. You show their love for one another and you have justification for it. I'd say you had a good shot at writing a full story and I complement you for puttin this out. However, it needs improvement. You put material into here that can be created into something great, but it needs to be reworked. Characters are developed and their is a plot which is more than I can say for some other fanfics i've seen. I advise you to do an overhaul of this work because I want to see this story get remastered and become highly popular.

486935

They need a pony shrug Icon lol

Well thanks for the review but I'm still on the third sequel right now
I have thought of re-doing this story, but I need to finish the story alot of people have enjoyed, there's Winter Skies (complete) and Blue Skies (Current)

You will probably like those two better... but I'm still not the best with conflict, I'm telling a story, and alot of people are okay with it.

532815
Yes! Another person who appreciated that chapter, I thought that chapter was so funny, but some people didn't quite agree...
Hope you're liking the story so far, right now I'm writing the third sequel, Blue Skies and it's coming out well.

533066
Oh yes I am enjoying it very much, I have been reading the series for the past 4 hours now, started from the beginning and I have caught up to page 6 of Blue Skies, and I'm looking forward to read the following chapters of the story.

I hope that there would be more of the unexpected action Spike gets sucked into, but that's just my opinion though, anyway take your time on writing the story and I hope that you are happy with writing this story as much as we are reading it, cheers :twilightsmile:

559624
Read Blue Skies, Chapter 3 (3rd part to the trilogy of this story) for a reference to this confusing and highly disappointing chapter.

651147
Random?

that's now how you spell Awesome!

651588
I like that Big Mac emocon you threw in there.
:pinkiesmile:

657843
More from this....
Okay, when your surprised and scared, I would imagine you wouldn't be able to think,
This was a chance for Soarin' to be a knight in shining armor,


Drunks are always out of place.
If you've ever been to a festival or fair in my area, there's always at least 1 drunk.

659388
I wrote this story last year starting in November,
If you really want to judge my writing, read something more recent.

And about the speed and the total sense in general,
This was my first ship, yeah.

Regardless if you liked this or not, a lot of people did, and have followed my writing to the third part of this story. I really don't respond to critics ever, but I would just like to say that.

Edit: Sorry, it's just that I hate it when people like to critic an old story of mine. "Your writing style is turrible!" "Dis Storeee iz 2 fast paced!"
It gets pretty darn annoying.

873999
My my that's a big compliment... and what a large face to go with it :rainbowderp:
But there's 2 more sequels if you want more.
Winter Skies (2nd story)
Blue Skies (3rd story)

Twilight and Soarin?YAY!!Instant Fav!!:twilightsmile:

1324900
:pinkiesmile:
Too bad it was in the wrong environment... but oh well, I'm glad a few people enjoyed it! :yay:

Read all your chapter very good. :eeyup:

1737430
Alright I'm going to level with you for a moment...
I KNOW that this story's structure is like a Jenga tower with over half of the pieces missing on one side, and it's a miracle it's still standing.

This story was written over a year ago when I first started writing, I'm not using that as an excuse but it's just there to not be so great- even today I still have problems.

When I wrote this I was thinking to myself 'alright, a Shipfic... I've read three of these already out of the eight total fan fictions I've read- let's see where this takes me' I really just started to wing-it because it was a ton of fun writing- I mean just look at the span in which this was written, it was written in seven days, is that honestly enough to be coherent (Actually yes, but at my writing skill at the time... hell no)

I used to stab myself over how much I ruined this story in my eyes.... but if you see above it has almost 41k views, quite a few likes and a lot of fans in the comments.
It means I did something right I guess... I'm still a beginner writer after a year, my talent lies in editing people's context- I've helped friends re-write their stories for the better.

I know there's no personality, I've worked on that for months and I believe I'm getting there

I'm deeply sorry you were disappointed (But I also see your new, so expect a lot of disappointment from this site- but don't fret, there are also a lot of great writers like LunaUsesCaps, Lithe Kamitatsy and Vanner)

If you want to see a better evaluation of my writing skill I recommend these
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5924/Stray-Ardor
Stray Ardor is a story I wrote for a friend- he was a little unpopular so I told him to give me a summary, he gave me a 150 word summary for each of the chapters and it turned out to be one of my best works ever... Maybe you'll find more solace there

I would recommend Blue Skies... it's more recent and the continuing of Soarin and Twilight, but seeing as you didn't enjoy Purple it's not too hot of a suggestion.

2408305
And you shouldn't- bye

The chapter nine was better than the entire series! Mutcho cool! :pinkiehappy:
Now, damn bastard son of the @ # $% &! You crippled Soarin! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!:flutterrage:

4293541
"Put it in me, Soarin~!" Twilight moaned into his ear with sexed up excitement.

Soarin' fell silent, but leaned in slowly with lampshaded eyes. He placed his lips up to her ears and faintly replied. "Neigh..."

Whaaaaaat? I was here for Soarindash! ;"(:rainbowhuh:

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