All these moments will be lost, like tears in the rain.
Protect Celestia1,762 stories ·1,945 members
I Just Want a Comment15,702 stories ·3,671 members
Celestia Is The Best Pony2,577 stories ·2,887 members
Bat ponies and Thestrals; stories of the night.874 stories ·2,667 members
Celestia189 stories ·76 members
Stories on Goodreads28,599 stories ·492 members
This story is a sequel to Ice Fall
Rush, the pony born on another world, is finally home. While trying to adjust to his new body, his trial's have only just begun as he is met with both suspicion and mistrust by a people still recovering from the war with Nightmare Moon and the Legion.
Page generated in 0.152 seconds
Total duration
899 users online
1,268,871 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Aww yeah! It's back!
Finally got a chance to read, had a hectic last couple of days and thus far it's everything i was hoping for and more! I had a little fear that this story could have ended up a little on the boring side given the premise but you dispelled that fear within the first chapter. Great job, and I eagerly await more.
Poor Grove... Hell, Poor Astra being married to such a Prick.
My my, what a great start keep up the work my dear friend!
Only you can write a 15k word chapter and have me blow through it without even noticing the time passing and still make me sad that there is not more. I gotta say that Rush is going to give Celestia a heart attack at this rate, this time it really is more on her than anything though.
Any idea on your release schedule?
7381797 Thanks, i'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
I'm hoping to post one chapter every couple of days, but if it's a big one it could take a little longer. I'll confess that I've been sneaking in to write more on my new story when I start flagging a little with the editing, but i've decided to put that to one side now that i've finished the first chapter and outlined the plot.
Full speed ahead on the editing then! Well, in between the horrors of work of course.
I should have the next one up tonight, but it's another big one. Personally, I really like this one, but I won't give anything away, so you'll just have to read it yourselves!
Phew!
And in greater numbers.
Well that certainly could have gone much worse, glad you didn't go down the "oh no, he's cheating on me" route.
One hell of an emotional roller coaster you're writing, I love it! You made Queenie easy to dislike when you introduced her, a few chapters later and i was so sure you were going to have her die on Rush that these last few chapters have been nerve wrecking because i enjoy her interactions with rush.
Such drama. I've noticed you really like to lean on the dramatic, tense moments that hedge on being borderline a bit too much. Now to see how this plays out, I suppose, in the next chapter. Would like to see some actual romance in a story tagged as such at some point, too.
... About time. Their first time must have been hilariously awkward.
After all that they've gone through its nice that they've finally been able to sit and relax. For a little while at least because from the looks of things I doubt that will last.
Also curious as to the new relationship Rush and Yule will have, when he was imprisioned I did feel it was unfair however much of an asshole he was/is.
Hey, you got more chapters! wohoo!
I have been gone for a little while but it's nice to see you have a lot more chapters!
7417711 Hi Modz, Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I'm going to try and finish the latest chapter this weekend. There's a couple more after that and the epilogue, so the whole lot should be finished this week.
By the way, did you get a chance to look at the first chapter of that story I sent you?
Cheers,
Bluespectre
I'm lost... what did Fate do?
EDIT: nvm, I figured it out.
You know I was fully expecting that this story would end with Rush's death from either old age or through some other means, but when he sacrificed himself to save Lilly I really thought you were going to let him die there. That would have been a terrible ending after all they had gone through, but I forget that no matter how bad things go in your story's they tend to end on a positive note and I really like that about them.
Thanks for sticking with it, this series has been amazing so I await for whatever you decide to cook up next.
7429706 I'm glad you enjoyed the latest story, and thanks for sticking with the series too. Personally, I like to read comments left by readers like yourself, as it helps me to gauge not only how the story was received but where i may need to improve or change future publications. I suppose there's also a little of the old ego massaging going on there too of course, but...y'know! Joking aside, I actually do take on board what people tell me, so criticism is always welcome. Of course, sometimes it's not exactly what you may call 'constructive' but that's the nature of the internet.
I'm going to be heading back into the territory of Fairlight now, as WTSM was actually meant as a spin off from the original series due to the way i had, rather unintentionally, made Celestia out to be a heartless harridan! I think i've explained why this came about and redressed the balance with the the last three books.
The next story which is in the pipeline is a short story, and will be for *ahem* more 'mature' readers and focusses on the night in the field of sunflowers with Rush and Celestia. It may or may not work, but we'll see.
The main story i'm going to be working on is centered around Silver Spoon, and has a victorian feel to it which i like. It's based in current day Equestria and will tie in with the events of Fairlight. Sooner or later of course, Fairlight book 5 will come out, i'm just not sure when. I'm not in a rush to finish everything as i'm enjoying writing, and long may it continue!
Thanks again for the comments.
Bluespectre
Nice story again! Great work.
To be honest: I miss the others. Like Thorn, Chalk, Gretel, Cyclone and so on. In my opinion it would have been nice to do one or two chapters about those charakters. But thats just my opinion.
Cheers
\m/
7474433 Glad you enjoyed it
I find that side characters can take on a life of their own sometimes, and in some cases it seems a shame not to spend more time on them. What is positive, however, is that there is always the possibility of them coming back in future stories and perhaps even having a story with them as the main character.
After writing the Fairlight series, I found people really liked Thorn, and I plan on writing a story about him some time. That would have to be a stand alone though, as I don't want to divert so much from the main plotline that I end up with a real mess on my hands!
Bluespectre
Read all that in one go, I REGRET NOTHING.
Great story tho i thoroughly enjoyed
Beyond "Civili"Z"ation?
7723331 Honestly, it's one of 'those' kinds of words. You can spell it either way and it really seems to be a personal choice, but that's the way i've always written it. If you've got a few minutes to spare you can read:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_spelling
It's actually surprisingly interesting!
7724013 Didn't know it was one of those words, huh. Learn something new every day. Anyways, finally reached the end of this, and what a ride it was. Throughly enjoyed it, and it makes me happy that there might be more to this specific series with the other characters and such. However the future may come, I look forward to it!
7726292 Thank you so much for taking the time to read the stories and i'm really pleased you liked them too. In case you're interested, there is a short 'adult' spin off which is a standalone called Tea for two, but it will only show on the stories list if you have the mature filter off. Of course, not everybody likes that sort of thing! Meanwhile i'm still working on the latest in the series, 'All the Queen's Horses' which is currently around 472 pages and is set in current day Equestria. It has a different flavour from the other stories, not being Celestia centric, but focuses on Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, their families and another 'blast from the past'. If you enjoyed Ice Fall you should enjoy this one.
When this is finished i'll be re-writing Fairlight for a wider audience as this ties in with the 'When the snow melts' series. As that is currently rated mature and grammatically a bit 'interesting', it's a bit of a slog - but i like it.
Thanks again
Bizarrely quick-forming relationships aside, the one thing I couldn't stand across all of these stories is the uniformity in dialect. Specifically, in the cursing. Though there are more, the most glaring example of this is Rush himself. From the first book, he's clearly supposed to be Japanese, or at least of some other eastern Asian culture. As such, he's never even heard the word "arse", let alone know what it means. Also, he wouldn't say "bloody hell," or bloody anything for that matter, unless he was referring to something covered in blood. As an author, it's important to be able to write for the cultures you are trying to represent. Otherwise, it ends up hurting the overall piece.
7748651 Thanks for the feedback. The issue of dialect and cultural differences is something i try to be careful with in all my stories or else, as you rightly point out, they risk ending up becoming bland with next to no discernible differences between the various peoples. The equestrians, llamalians, yaks, wendigo and thestrals all have their own heritage and culture which I have tried to be faithful to throughout (And all the other races too of course). As for Rush and the culture he is from, you are absolutely correct - it was 'based' on feudal japan, but I didn't specifically state in the story that it was. The reasoning behind this was that it would give me more flexibility in crafting the world Rush was from as well as his personality. You'll note that the names of the people in When the Snow Melts are not all japanese - Rush being a prime example. In any case, not being japanese myself, this means that i only have a foreigners perspective of their culture from books and film, so i don't feel qualified to make an accurate representation of that culture.
One reader pointed out that Rush's behaviour changes over the course of the stories. This is absolutely true and was intentional on my part. In the chronological order of the books, Rush has been on his own for many years before Celestia finally returns for him and effectively gives him a new lease of life in Equestria. It is there, in a new body and thrown into a completely new environment and culture, that he finds his old way of thinking clashing with the new. I try to bring this through in the story, and Rush himself ends up questioning why he feels and acts the way he does. Whether i have actually succeeded in bringing this across to the reader is different matter!
On the subject of rapid relationships, you're not the only one to feel that some of the relationships in the stories happen quite quickly. The ones mentioned usually are Bracken and Pickles and Rush and Celestia. I would have to disagree that Rush and Celestia are 'head over heels' early on as one reader put it, as nothing happens between them until they kiss at the end of the book. It is then many years before they meet again and also a good way into their increasingly platonic relationship that things finally change in Where the Sunflowers Grow. The relationship between Bracken and Pickles was set up with the premise of an older mare who takes what she wants and Bracken, a young and inexperienced stallion, essentially being dominated by her. A similar situation happens with Bracken and Nightmare Moon, who begins to develop genuine feelings for him after initially intending only to use him. Chalk and Gretel is a little complex too, with Gretel only wanting to play around with him for some stress relief and then finding that Chalk really does care for her. She slowly begins to realise she likes him too and their relationship takes off from there.
Now, not every relationship is the same in the stories, and i understand that not everyone likes 'whirlwind romances', but i've been in enough and known enough people over the years to discover that everybody and every relationship is different. I even knew one couple who had been platonic friends for nearly twenty years because neither of them could make that 'first move' until friends finally intervened. For many people relationships start after just one night out - night clubs being the usual culprit. In fact, met my wife in one, and we didn't set any deadlines for 'physical contact'! The real question i suppose is 'will they last'? Perhaps they will, perhaps they won't, but that's up to the reader to decide.
On the subject of cursing, I have to be careful as this is rated for teens! In Rush's case however, i'll refer back to the fact that although based on feudal japan, he isn't actually japanese. Besides, some things simply don't translate that well from one language to another. In the story i'm working on now for example, you'll find that the children speak very differently from the adults and exclamations of surprise etc, are distinctly more childish in nature. As for dialect, this is a bit tricky with writing but you'll have found some of the characters, like Salty for example, do have a particular way of speaking which is very different from the others. It's hard to bring this across, but i have tried and i am aware of it.
Well, that's enough from me! Thanks a lot for your comments and i have taken on board what you've said, as indeed i do with all comments. It's only through these that i can improve and criticism, both positive and negative (If constructive) can only be a good thing.
Thanks again, Bluespectre
"I only wanted to be friends with you."
7852450 Thanks. Fixed
"throwing" ?
but mostly i was a reed worker
"has never been on a battlefield" or "has never seen a battlefield" ?
Also come on, we know his full name is "Rush B cyka blyat!"
Come on, it should be "YOU LOOSE, GOOD DAY, SIR!"
world
help
Missing a ” , bold-ed where it should be.
Should be Fathom
"She burned them to death" ?
?
redundant
do you think her nibs would care
missing something there?
Rush is my Royal Consort?
the Princess strode from the throne room
my magic kept you from falling out.
bolded and enlarged
how he was able to breath
had not
how do you eat that?! or maybe how can you eat that would be better?
Something was bothering me a bit at times, now with the last chapter i know what it is.
Transitions of scenes sometimes leave me totally confused for a moment or two as there is a lack of description regarding the scene in most cases.
Was especially clear in the last chapter after Celestias mother (or someone else, the king maybe heh?) teleported/magicked Celestia away. The next scene shes with rush, mind and grove buying cake. And i have no idea what happened. i assume that the queen sending her away and fate/hope fixing Rushes life-thread changed the . Still leaves me wondering why Celestia would just appear in town with him instead of just her re-appearing in their room and him being fine.
Also that implying with "Eternity Lost" makes me wonder if Fate/Hope is Celestias sister as there are 3 sisters in the story?
Also with the key thing, Fate/Hope is now free to go out every 3 days or what?
Lovely story like the rest of them, always a sucker for happy endings and especially for a happy ending for Celestia.
Wow, Lilly. Unfriendly much?
Is it just my imagination, or are literally ALL the Pegasi, assholes?
Much as I'd be pissed at her, Rush did the right thing, saving Queen. Personally, I'd be very short with her and borderline hostile, but I would have helped her.
Okay, I'm seeing more and more of this and it bugs me. Why are, literally ALL the Pegasi, assholes? I cannot figure this out? Harrier was a bitch who was only tolerated because she could do her job, Yule is a hateful cunt, and it seems that absolutely NONE of the Pegasi are willing to even do their jobs. Why are they ALL assholes?
You know, for a romance story, there doesn't seem to be any romance going on. Just Lilly being a bitch because she can't tell anybody that she's in love, and poor Rush being beat on by everybody and their fucking mother... LITERALLY.
Alright! A bit of romance, in the romance story. One thing bugs me: Yule. There are so many problems with him and NONE of them have been set right, yet the seeming indication is that everything is hunky-dory.
A GREAT deal seems to be glossed over or just ignored. Madra was going to turn Rush into what amounts to a mindless sex slave and he's alright with that?
Also, why the HELL does absolutely NOBODY ask or answer direct questions?
Ex: Madra, if the Wendigos knew what right and wrong were, why were they willing to aid in committing genocide? And what right do you have to be bitchy when somebody returns the favor?
Answer: oh, we don't care about morality because we're better than everybody else, so right and wrong have no hold on us.
Ooooookay? What just happened? Celestia was pissed. She confronted Fate. She threatened her. Her mother showed up and then... the whole rest of the chapter makes no sense. Help me out here, Bluespectre. I am confused as fuck.
And so we come to the end... where everything was resolved, why?... erm... I have no idea... how?... uh, don't know that either... what the hell happened at the end there? It was like watching the bastard child of Ghost In The Shell mixed with Akira, perform an interpretive dance while I was high on acid. I don't think I have been this confused since... ever?
7931341 It's not quite 'Total Recall' level befuddlement, but I wanted to leave the reader with something to think about. Basically the premise is that every pony's life is a part of the overall tapestry woven by Fate. Following Rush's untimely death, partly due to Celestia's intervention as well as Fate's own reminiscing about her own tragic past, Fate rethreads the tapestry to effectively avoid Rush's death. As thanks, the goddess gifts Fate with time with her lost love who is referenced earlier in the story. Hope that helps clear it up. I didn't want to end a story by explaining everything as there is more to come with the next few books.
You can has review!