• Member Since 19th Sep, 2015
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Opium4TmassS


Klaatu barada nikto =^.^=

T

This story is a sequel to The Truth Behind My Little Pony


"I turned away as I heard a sickening tearing of cloth and flesh… only cared about getting away. Above the doorway out of this room, I saw the final message clawed into the metal with bone or fingernails…"
“ABANDONED BY GOD”
"They didn’t want anyone like me getting in."
"They didn't want anything like that getting out."
-Abandoned by Disney. by Slimebeast (Creepypasta)



Prequel to Why I stopped Watching My Little Pony

Artwork Done by the amazingly talented Maii. Follow her on fimfic to see some of her great work and her devianArt page KKrazi-DV
Cowritten by the talented MisterNick
Preread by the talented and beautiful LyraAlluse
Follow them all as they are wonderful people.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 42 )

Okay I'm really not following now, you going to make one's that some of us can actually understand and not this dark poetic thing?

I agree with Red, I was I little lost in the story but it was creepy and I'll give you that :scootangel:

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7439797 I will explain what is going on in this universe. Not all of it but enough to give you an idea why things are the way they are. These next two stories are two one shots set as a preliminary for a Halloween story what will tell you what is going on. From what I will say is that the TV show My Little Pony was never aired.

7439974 Went a little deeper than the obvious you idiot.

...Oh! It was The Smooze in the costume!

Hi! I just wanted to let you know I've done a reading of this story. :) Thank you for writing such an awesome piece! :D

7660319 Thank you for the reading that was incredible and I loved it!

"But Daddy, you let the other children play with her! Didn't you make her just for me?"
-British Daughter, Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location

Granted, this was an interesting story, but I must point this out: in a time where animatronics roam around the horror genre, it's unfortunate this fiction reminds me of Five Nights at Freddy's. Now, I'm not sure if you gained inspiration from Scott's work; it's none of my interest. This fiction had a nice twist near the end, but everything built up seemed to resemble FNAF to the very unspecified details.

>Odd Animatronic behavior (FNAF 1 & 2)
>Terrible smell of rotting meat coming from suits (FNAF 1 Newspaper Clips)
>Behavior resembling the consumption of children (FNAF 1, 4, & Sister Location)
>Birthday Party / Event featuring mascots of popular franchise (FNAF 1, 2, & Sister Location)
>Damage to persons inside costume (FNAF 3 Springlock Failure / FNAF 4)
>Animatronic Possession of Human Host (FNAF 3 & Sister Location)
>Employee fired at the end (FNAF 1 & 2)
>Asylum / Hospital Bed with Plushed Toy (FNAF 4)

This is where I try to redeem myself. I thought the story was interesting, though a little hard to follow, but I'm not going to include that as a downside because that's probably just me not paying attention. Yes, I know just because someone did a story about robots doesn't mean they own the genre, but at this point, it's just overused and dull. Had this come out two or three years ago, it would be hailed with Rainbow Factory and Cupcakes. Sadly, this is not the case. I do not hate the story, nor do I despise it. I pity it for today's definition of "unoriginal content".

Good writing, though! Keep up the work!

7679376 Thank you for your criticism.

7679376 And I thought I was the only person who made the connection with Fnaf! :)

7693858 Lol some people have. Grudgingly I do see were they are coming from. Though I do feel they are stretching the connections to each other fairly thin.

Interesting, interesting. After seeing a few SCPs from the wiki for them, I grew a little more interested in this style of storytelling. I especially like the rational actions of everyone in that sector. Who wouldn't run or stay away from something that acted and looked like that?

All of you people who say yes better have real guts to do it. Don't be a "poser" and just say it. If you were there, would you really confront that costume? I thought so.

This has made me consider doing a "real" horror story, not my rather light hearted story based stories I have done till now. I don't exactly get the FNAF connection, since it wasn't an animatronic it was slime... but that is just me.

It was a rather... cute story, or would smart be better? How about gross... detailed, well-done? I'll quit with the semantics, and simply leave off with: I can't wait to continue the series. ^^

7968741 lol thank you that means a lot.

Holy crap, disturbing...but also creepy...hehehe, awesome

I started making a sequel! Can I have your permission to make it?

First version is done. It uses the base of the original to get the idea for the story.

8175242 Coolio can't wait to see it when its ready.:pinkiehappy:

I was going to release it in the fall. But I'm thinking somewhere in Late May to Early June

8175302 Ok I understand. Is it going to be part of the series or is it going to be a separate story? If it is I can add it to "The Truth Behind My Little Pony" series if you want to.

8175306 Well if the first one is the second part of The Truth Behind My Little Pony series then ok.

Not as creepy or scary, but still good!

Such an original story! One of the best I've read!

Comment posted by TheMysteryMuffin deleted Mar 18th, 2018

8803608
Thank you that really means a lot.

I find this story interesting and the style is great, though some of the characters were so dumb. I recommend making the characters be smart at least to know that something is going wrong. Also I don't like on how the characters passed it off as some gas when someone died in the story, and they are like "Oh its just stronk drugs its fine." It might be just a part of the problem of the characters just being dumb and thinking they can pass it off as just drugs or something.

The rest of the story is great, but the characters are dumb. But other than that I hope you can improve on the story and make people react and think better than they did in the story. (Especially when she only put one guard in there, and they didn't do anything about the black stuff even when it burned her hand and also let it NEAR CHILDREN! I'm so sorry but I just hate on how the characters handled this stuff, and I apologize for bashing the characters, but the characters don't work as a realistic smart person will act.)

I have one suggestion to improve the characters, and its to make the characters notice that there is something wrong, and not let her on stage and once she tries to eat a child they start calling the police and they start investigating only to realize that this thing is not Ms. Wilson and they try to hunt it down and then after some deaths they catch it and kill it by fire, only to realize that it still have some of itself alive and then the fluttershy dolls are coming up and they have to shut down because of the problems that arise from Hasbro. It will keep some of the story and also not only make a better (or if you are one of these characters, worse) ending but also improve the characters a little.
And as hoodo said, "Keep writing and keep improving."

9146893
Thank you for your comments. This is good advice.:twilightsmile:

That story is interesting. I don't let my little sister to read these grimdark or the darkfic so she wouldn't get scared. I may be 14 y.o. but I am not afraid of reading these stories. I take risks on my own!

9946473
That’’s great and I understand.

wow this is creepy, i like it!!😜😝😈😈

10684876
Thank you that means a lot.

I read it and i understood it.....it looks likes someone else OTHER then the actress was in the costume. It looked to me that an unknown gooey toxic burning monster was in there.

10793958
This was the first time the door was opened. The show disappearing before its October 10, 2010 release.

10793982

i was able to watch some of it...but to see another level is something 👍else.

This read like an SCP tale or something and I love that.

Oh, isn't the cover of Fluttershy from Amnesia Justine?

10854593

10854593
Yes it was. I’m glad you liked it.

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