Know Your Place. ( Remastered. )
( Night before the bar. )
__________
"While you're in Ponyville, I might go grab a drink." Shining chuckled half-heartedly as he stood over a pink cradle, eyes locked protectively upon his sleeping daughter.
"Drinking!?" Cadance questioned with slight annoyance, attention divided between packing her suitcase on the bed.
"Wow, you sound as if I asked to cheat!" Shining blew a raspberry to nopony in particular.
"You're a captain, I feel it's your responsibility to set a proper standard." Cadance sighed in exhaustion, gaze locked on her distant husband tenderly.
"Why not accompany me!? ~ Your whole family will be there!" Cadance giggled as she trotted to her husband's side lovingly.
"Don't remind me." Shining tilted his head upward.
"What happened with your parents?" Cadance asked with curiosity.
Shining shot his wife a broken gaze, Cadance giving a respectful nod in return.
Without a word she leaned closer, her muzzle softly grazing across his cheek. The stallion unable to help himself, a warm goofy grin spread across his face.
"It's complicated." Shining watched his daughter stir, her large blue eyes fluttering open well-rested.
"Mama!?"Flurry yawned with a stretch, those big innocent eyes locked on her shocked father.
"No honey he's Daddy...Dada!"Cadance cooed as she scooped her baby into a loving embrace.
"When you're ready, I'll be here." Cadance smiled, rocking her child in a soothing maternal motion.
"Do you ever feel incomplete?" Shining narrowed his gaze out the bedroom window.
"Like how?" Cadance arched a thin brow.
"I don't know, perhaps seeing things from a new perspective?" His voice cracked nervously.
"Personally, I've seen enough of what the world has to offer.." Eyes locked upon her child.
"I'm happy to be starting this personal chapter of my life, with you." Cadance smiled as her daughter fell back to the world of dreams.
"I'm just feeling…" Shining huffed silently.
"Empty?" Cadance spoke in a soft whisper, yet her voice carried a heavy tone.
"What, no!?" Shining let a loud horse noise escape.
"Well, I sense something missing?" Cadance narrowed her eyes gently.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shining chuckled with a bright blush.
"You never open up, only push me away." Cadance folded back her ears.
"Maybe I just want some space, huh!?" Shining stomped a hoof defensively.
"This is more than just drinks, isn't it?" Cadance held back her worry.
"Maybe it is!" Shining snapped in a deeper tone.
"What?" She winced slightly from the aggressive change in voice.
"I'm never allowed to just relax, I have to always be on!" Shining yelled to his wife with a slam of his hoof atop the marble floor.
"Because I care what we stand for. ~ I'm the villain!?" Cadance narrowed sparkling eyes with confusion.
"No!" Shining groaned.
"Then what?" Cadance placed her hoof on his shoulder.
"Nothing!" He huffed visibly shaken.
"Shining." She cooed.
"Just go, I know my place." Shining slumped over, just as his daughter had begun to stir.
"We all create our own misery." Cadance turned away, as tears rolled down her cheeks.
The room would become deathly silent, his wife quick to finish packing her luggage. Guards soon after entered to retrieve the last few parcels. Shining then left alone with his thoughts, guilt slowly picking away at his soul. Falling back onto the bed with a thud, the world around him soon fading away.
Leaving him completely alone.
---
( Present.)
"Forgive me, Cadance," Shining whispered with regret.
Shining rolled onto his side in defeat of the moment. He had lived out a long-desired fantasy this night, yet he felt far more empty than before. Thoughts of Cadance heavy on his mind, she deserved far better than what he could offer.
He wasn't able to fulfill her emotionally as if a piece of himself were missing.
This one night not enough, his heart yearned for more.
The feeling of freedom.
The way the world had accepted him.
It felt right.
Yet he knew like a dream, it was a fleeting experience.
He loved the thrill of being alive.
Though, his family deserved that joy.
Far more than himself.
"For them." Shining gave a broken smile.
He would hide his feelings deep.
"For her." Shining closed his eyes.
He would be what they needed.
"I know my place." He reassured himself.
This feeling was far too familiar.
From when it began, he was taught to hide it.
"It's just a fantasy." Shining forced himself to believe the lie.
With a troubled mind, he drifted off to an uneasy slumber.
Catching the attention of a certain princess.
Luna could sense a pony in need.
For her heart cried out in pain, but his soul kept silent.
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Mare Gesserit?
Oh boy it just got real.
Oh... Ok so it's that kind of story, cool
This whole chapter was a clusterfuck for me, anyone explain?
So...is Shining addicted to this? Is that what this chapter is trying to show the readers?
Where did you get this idea from?
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I understood it just fine. Had fantasies of being a female as a kid, was rushed to deal with family and has no time to deal with his feelings. The lack of resolution, being the boss of so many, and family obligations is making him cold, aloof, and numb. Flash's comment struck deep because they are, or now were friends. The spell is linked on emotion and he's reverting to female.
7365573 This still seems really rushed, like a ton of different things happening at once.
The idea is good, but please, slow down, a lot happens in only 1k words and it makes me think it's rushed
This thing is most certainly at least "not bad." It's not really too good, but it's not bad. Still, I must ask; why? In this fic, could it be that, when it comes to this issue, America is actually more tolerant than Equestria? Or is it just his/her parents?
I can get jiggy with this
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I do understand many found this chapter rushed, but I was trying to keep the pace and action up to a certain speed. Reading over my own chapter again and again, I can see why a few thought of it as rushed. Though I thought it was fine.
I'm working on a Re-write now. Which is basicly my first draft of this chapter, one I thought dragged but who know's perhaps I was wrong and just felt too hasty to jump ahead. It will be up pretty soon, so you can all be the judge. :P
7365412 Just a thought I had for a while. Based off a story I once wrote a while back, though never published. Thought it would fit well here.
7378326 ok.
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More pls
So much word play.. Interesting.
Hallow -> Hollow
Hallow is synonymous with sanctify.