• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Penmore


"If you only write when you're inspired you'll be a fairly decent poet, but you'll never be a novelist."

Sequels1

E

Anything and everything Spike does is for Twilight. In order for her to be happy and smiling, he's willing to sacrifice anything.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 28 )

Think should be a sequel, maybe Spike had enough and finally explodes or writes his feelings ina private letter and seals away but found by Twilight.

:duck: Spike was so angry he pounded me all night
:twilightangry2: Shall I call the Royal Guard?
:raritywink: Oh No Twilight Spike was quite enough for one night.
:twilightoops: Wut?
:duck: but not enough for a lifetime!
:facehoof:

I do think this story was good but I feel it ended to soon with and nothing was fix. I think a sequel or add a better ending?

7340996
Funny stuff, but you lost me.

7340921
7341005
Well, I did want to make it longer and I might go back in the future to either make it longer or write a sequel. For now, I feel that the way I ended it was pretty good. What do you think should have happened? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

7341054 :duck: Darling a lady does have her needs.:facehoof:

:raritywink: and Royal Guards are such oafs ...:twilightoops: Hay!!! My brother was a Guard!

:moustache: I need an adult :raritywink: I am an adult :moustache: I think like one, does that count?:raritystarry: Next Friday!


the conflict works,,,

I say a sequel is in order here, it's just seems like a waste of a good story if it stopped here. Very enjoyable though.

7341054

Well Spike can't keep it bottled up, he going to snaand take his own life or try or simply shut down.
I can see him blow up, but think that not the way to go with this story.
He should write down his feelings and pain and one of the main six finds his letter.

Could end up going back to Canterlot to rest with Celestia, or the crystal empire and loved by the ponies there for a vacation he needs it, and mayeb therapy as well.

7341054 I say that he should pass out at one point right in fought of Twilight or close by. At the hospital the doctor shows Twilight that Spike suffer from illness related to be over worked. Also so you don't have to work to hard on Spike's break down I feel Twilight needing a true spell.

7341125

Agreed, this is a fantastic set up to explore Spike's character and possibly how he interacts with the rest of Twilight's family, since the show has neglected to do so. Would be great to see what would happen if he or someone from her family were to finally step in, and see how Twilight would deal with losing Spike. Really hope you decide to do more with it, it really is an interesting and emotional story and would love to see Twilight put to the test of salvaging her broken relationship with her brother.

"I think it's safe for a baby dragon to be traveling alone.

Missing a don't?

7342406
Got it. Fixed it. Thank you for the heads up.

This was very well written, with very few mechanical errors, but I must say I disagree with the entire premise.

On the show, Spike does what he does because he loves Twilight, and she has shown she cares very deeply for him. Doing things for others is in Spike's nature, and I've never seen any evidence ( except in fanfiction ) of him being resentful in any way. Still, I understand and respect other writers may feel differently about him, and this tale is a fine example of that mindset.

7342550 Besides, if Spike DID feel Twi was abusing him, he could always use the god-killing cold iron poison Twilight forgot she'd kept in the basement in case Celestia ever went crazy. :twilightoops:

:trollestia:

But on another note, this clearly doesn't work with the show, because why would Spike have abandoned the title of Dragon Lord so willingly to go back to the mare he felt was taking advantage of him?

7342728
I know that on the show he was a dragon lord and all but the fic takes place before that. Even before Starlight came to live there as evident by her absence. I'm not sure if I'm taking it the wrong way or not but with what you said it seems you want the fic to be more aligned with the show itself? That's what I got from reading the comment you left. Not sure if it's what you were trying to go for so I'll leave it at that. Thank you for reading.

7342550
It's fine if you disagree with the premise. It is a fanfic and you are the reader when all is said and done. Glad you enjoyed it.

Once I got halfway through this story and saw the thoughts in bold, I thought it was going to go to a very, very, very dark place. (Yeah I sometimes skip looking at the story tags; if I had I wouldn't have even wondered.) But it didn't, and I'm glad for that, but I do feel really bad for Spike. A sequel that resolves things would definitely be welcome.

I can't help but think that in this story somewhat parallels the situation Celestia and Luna had with one another. Not so much that Luna was Celestia's servant, but Celestia always got the attention and Luna was always relegated to the background. That didn't end well either.

7360028
Glad you enjoyed it. Honestly, I feel like I should expand on this story and I did say that, if it was well received, I would do continue it. The only problem is that while I do want to do so I have other stories to work on as well. I don't want to stretch myself too thin as I'm even working on the ones that are on hiatus. Regardless, I can't back down on a promise. So I'll put it out there that if it reaches to 35 positive then I'll go ahead and work on it. It's not that far off so I might just start working on the sequel just in case.

Please make a sequel where Spike stands up for himself...because it actually might kill me to see Spike like this ..

Well, that was depressing.

--Spade

This is how a villain is born

Let me guess, he's so willing to do anything for her and HER friends that he doesn't give a lick that they step all over him and use him like a servant, right?

When she peeked up to look at the dragon who made the culinary masterpiece she found him only staring at her. His smile never left as he watched her eat; it was unnerving, to say the least.

"Is something wrong Spike?"

"No, nothing. Why do you ask?"

"Just... you know what. Never mind."

"Sure thing,Twilight."

That was the funniest thing I've ever read in a serious story.

7342728 honestly i thought this would end with spike poisoning twilights pancakes

Comment posted by The Red Butcher deleted March 13th
Comment posted by Penmore deleted March 13th
Comment posted by DemonKingAurora deleted March 13th
Comment posted by Penmore deleted March 13th

Nice work! I'd definitely read a continuation.

8000559
Thank you. Also, in case you didn't see the sequel (Dimming Flame) is already out and I'm currently working on it.

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