After Pinkie Pie interrupts Twilight while casting a new spell, she accidentally turns her friends into balloons
Needless to say, Pinkie Pie is in really big trouble now...
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 21st Sep, 2013
- offline last seen May 6th, 2023
Shadowmane PX-41
Just your average british lad. I write things for a living. It’s the strangest living you’ll ever find, second only to my inability to take myself off of the grid.
Shadowmane PX-41
Joined 21st Sep, 2013 ·
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You have a good idea here and have executed it well.
I can't really fault you.
You asked for a comment so here you go.
Is that it?
7400685
Nope. I just came up with the idea on the fly.
And truth be told, this fic fits that moment much better TBH.
Cute
7401835 If you enjoyed it, be sure to let your friends know all about it.
Why do you hate that episode?
Also, why Pinkie is the element of laughter?
7403938 I hated it because it relied on jokes that, despite being funny, made the situation worse for Pinkie at every turn.
Nothing went right for her, and I consider episodes like that to be torture porns. It's similar to those modern Spongebob episodes where Squidward has nothing go his way, and everything else in the world is out to make his life a misery.
I just felt unclean during that episode, and Pinkie's friends didn't even help either.
It was a true mess of an episode for me. But if you like it, then that's your opinion. I can't force my will on yours.
Anyway, what do you think of the story itself?
7403947
Well, actually if Pinkie didn't took the announcement of Shinning and Cadance seriously, there will be no problem.
Abou the story, it was well written and why Pinkie is not like this in the show. She's always acting childish, screwing up things and not showing character development. I always wonder why she's the element of laughter.
Okay, not only was that chaotic, it was, extremely entertaining.
7400667 I could say you should find a nicer way of saying that, but I can't really think of one. I also kind of agree. This story does feel lacking in some way.
I'm sorry to say, but this story just didn't really work too well for me. There are some pretty bad spelling and grammar errors here and there, bouts of cringey dialogue and even a bit out of character in a few parts, and the moral was really awkward in it's presentation. I think the worst part is that it seemed like you didn't know whether you wanted it to be suspensful or lighthearted, and it just ends up kind of...dull.
Well, like I said, this story just didn't work for me.
I'm sorry if any of this makes you feel bad, that isn't my intent and I hope you don't take offense.
7436859 None taken.
Some people like chocolate, some like vanilla. I don't really get offended by feedback these days unless the person outright targets me personally.
This comment you put was fair and biased, and I'm happy to hear your thoughts on it.
7436895 I'm glad to hear that!
God bless you! 
They all float down here, and you will too. THEY ALL... FLOAT!
This was an overall nice read, but I hope you don't mind if I point out a few things that really bugged me:
-The whole setup felt really forced, with everyone who could possibly help them being unavailable.
-Some scenes didn't make a lot of sense:
-The other alicorns are "too busy" to save Twilight and her friends from a really dangerous transformation
spell? So they're basically too busy to save Twilight's life? I find that hard to believe.
-Pinkie Pie risking to go through a crowd where there are a lot of cacti that could outright KILL her friends
when she touches them? Really? Even she should be able to see that this isn't worth the risk.
-Pinkie Pie almost refuses Twilight's suggestion to go and built a device that turns them back, because "she
thinks science is boring"?!? A minute earlier she said she would do EVERYTHING to turn them back because
she almost can't live with the guilt of being responsible for the whole mess. And then Twilight needs to
bribe her so Pinkie does it? Really, Pinkie is the last pony in this situation that should get a reward for
helping.
-Rainbow Dash saying that they will never be transformed back, when clearly the worst case-scenario is them
waiting until Starlight returns from the Crystal Empire. Dashie really overreacted and was rude to Pinkie
for no reason.
-I really liked the concept of the story, but I feel like you didn't use it to its full potential. I really liked the beginning because you did a few interesting things with the ballon-ponies, but after they left Twilight's castle, it's basically just the same thing over and over again: Pinkie running from point A to point B to find a way to turn her friends back. Sure, you threw a few creative roadblocks in her way, but they don't really do anything since Pinkie basically just runs past them. How about a scene where a filly actually takes away some of Pinkie's friends without her noticing and she has to get her back? Or maybe she looses one of them and the ballon starts to gain hight so she has to act quickly to get it back? I feel like there's more that could've been done with the ballon-idea.
I know I sounded really negative here, but I still enjoyed reading your story. All the ponies felt in-character most of the time (except for the instances I mentioned above) and I also really liked that you worked a moral into your story. And the writing was really solid overall.
)
I hope you can come up with more stories like this in the future (I'm a big fan of TF-stories, so I would surely check out similar stories
"I always knew Twilight was full of hot air, but this? This is just priceless!"
Best line ever. :D
Part about Lightning Dust..not so much...Rainbow and others have done far worse.